


Sacrifices and Second Chances

by NifflersNogtailsNargles



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Voldemort Wins, Explicit Language, Fix-It, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Past Domestic Violence, Time Travel, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:21:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 95,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22017799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NifflersNogtailsNargles/pseuds/NifflersNogtailsNargles
Summary: The war is lost. Only two remain and they have nothing left to live for. When you have nothing left to lose, risking everything is simple.My twist on a Time Travel story.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Remus Lupin, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 137
Kudos: 296





	1. The Last of Us

Chapter One: The Last of Us

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment ***

**A/N: Welcome! This is my first crack at a full length story. Time travel with a twist! I tried to put my own spin on it though. Please let me know what you think! Also I apologise in advance if any translations are incorrect or in the wrong context, I don't speak any second languages, I just use Google Translate. But feel free to correct me, I welcome constructive criticism!**

_It's our only chance_. Hermione filled her lungs with a deep, steadying breath before continuing in her gruelling task. The rune circle had to be painted with the blood of the person, in this case _people_ , participating in the ritual. The circle was around seven feet in diameter, made up of hundreds of tiny, indecipherable markings carved into the cold stone floor. The ritual had required so much blood, that it had taken her weeks to collect the required amount, a little at a time, from both of them . Sweat dripped from her brow, leaving track marks in the dirt and grime that covered her face. She had been preparing for this for so long, but now that they were minutes away from accomplishing their goal, she felt no sense of relief or achievement. Only dread and pure fear. Her hands were shaking violently and she had to grit her teeth to force herself to proceed with the final few runes without making a mess of them.

_It's our only chance._

_But what if I fail?_

_It's our only chance. Our only choice._

Round and around the thoughts swam through her head, making her feel dizzy and weak. Or maybe that was the hunger? She was too tired to care.

“Hermione, stop. I can physically feel you worrying from over here, it's giving me a headache.”

She looked up at the boy, and gave him a weak smile, before finally standing up to step back and examine her work.

“I'm sorry Harry, it's just, I've never done anything this complex before and-”

“I know” he said tensely, before running a grubby hand through his messier than usual hair, “but I have faith in you, you've never steered us wrong yet.”

This last was said with what she thought was supposed to be a comforting smile, but came out as more of a pained grimace.

Hermione didn't blame him, she didn't know how to smile anymore either.

“Thank for saying that, but you know what's at stake here. If I get this wrong, then-”

Harry cut her off sharply, “If you get this wrong, we'll both be dead and then it won't matter. Either way, there's nothing left here for us”

Hermione nodded silently. He was right, they had to do this. Even death was far better than living in this hellish place, this living nightmare which held nothing but unending grief, pain, hunger and the knowledge that there would be no waking up from it.

She thought back to all those that they had lost. It started with Cedric. Then Sirius and Dumbledore, Mad-Eye and Fred and Tonks and Remus.

It only got worse after the battle. Riddle was gone, but his followers outnumbered theirs and they couldn't overcome the Death Eaters. Turns out they couldn't hide from them or outrun them either. It took them two years to get everyone. Ron was the last Weasley to go, only two months ago.

Then it was Teddy. Hermione's stomach rolled in sickening waves thinking of the terrible fate of the once beautiful, chubby-cheeked baby boy and his doting grandmother.

That was it for Harry, he had done everything in his not inconsiderable power to keep them safe for two long years, and it still wasn't enough.

She watched his shoulders slump and the light dim from his eyes as he cradled the tiny body in his arms, and she knew that they had finally broken him. He no longer cared if he lived or died. In fact, he'd welcome death like an old friend, just as his ancestor before him.

That was when she knew she had to do something, she had to get them out of this life.

She had to fix it.

*~*~*~*

_Six Weeks Earlier_

Sneaking into Hogwarts had been depressingly easy. None of the Death Eaters knew or cared about the secret entrance from the Hog's Head. None of them bothered with either place since they had killed the life inside and looted their remains.

Hermione had brought a reluctant Harry along for the ride. He didn't see what good it would do to come here now, but was unwilling to let her go alone, so there he was. He almost instantly regretted his decision.

Walking through the corridors was like their own personal torture. Wandering through the crumbling remains of the first home Harry had ever known, and the first place that either of them had found a place to belong felt like another knife wound in their already bleeding chests.

Once they finally stood in the centre of the all too familiar circular office, Harry was amazed by how untouched it was. There were papers still stacked neatly on the desk and the pensieve was still glowing gently on its stand in the corner, and a vast collection of books still filled the bookcases all around the place. If it weren't for the thick layer of dust covering everything, he could've almost believed that he was back in sixth year, ready to watch another fascinating, but ultimately useless, memory of an adolescent Tom Riddle.

_Almost._

But there was a thick layer of dust, and the smell of neglect, and the hollow ache of hunger in his stomach and an identical one in his heart. He wanted to pretend, even for a moment , that nothing had changed.

But everything had changed. Harry swallowed hard, ignoring the painful lump in his throat and the sting behind his eyes as he tried to block out the horrors that threatened to overtake him.

While he was trapped in his musings, Hermione had made her way over to the thick, deep purple curtain behind the Headmaster's desk and pulled hard on the golden chord attached to one side, releasing a massive cloud of dust.

Harry's head shot up at the sound of a multitude of voices coughing and spluttering loudly, before one unpleasantly familiar voice cut harshly over the top of them all.

“Oh stop being ridiculous. You're all dead, you can't breathe never mind cough. Bloody drama queens.”

The last part was muttered bitterly, by a surly, hook-nosed man with dark hair, still greasy even in his portrait.

“Oh, Professor Snape! I didn't know that you had a portrait here!” Hermione exclaimed in surprise.

“It wasn't by choice Miss Granger I assure you. Albus insisted. Now unless you require my presence I will be going now.”

“Erm, well, no. We actually came to speak to Professor Dumbledore” she explained, searching the wall for his likeness.

Harry just shook his head, still uncomfortable around the man after learning of the nature of his affections for Lily.

The man nodded his head slightly in return, before turning around and exiting the frame, robes billowing behind him as much in death as they had in life,

The two teens looked at each other uncertainly then, unsure of what to do next. That was until they heard another, more welcome, voice sound out from the far left side of the room, from a frame Hermione was sure had been empty moments before.

“Ah, Harry. Miss Granger, I heard that you wished to speak with me? My apologies for keeping you waiting, I had just popped out for a spot of tea and croquet with the Fat Lady. How can I be of assistance?”

Harry stared back in disbelief, maybe not _everything_ had changed after all then? Dumbledore was still the irrepressible oddball he had always been, and he wasn't sure whether to feel comforted or annoyed by that fact.

He settled on comforted, it wasn't truly Dumbledore after all, just an imprint. Less than the Riddle from the diary. It seemed fairly irrational to be angry at oil paint and varnish, after all.

Hermione, it appeared, did not agree.

“Oh you're sorry for being _late._ What an absolutely horrible crime. Sending children to their _certain deaths_ is nothing in comparison!”

She laughed derisively then, looking more than a bit unhinged, and muttering under her breath. The portrait had the good grace to look ashamed at her words, if not a little taken aback that it was she who had spoken them.

“ _sorry for being late, of all the stupid, fucking insignificant-”_

“Hermione!” Harry exclaimed loudly in surprised at her choice of language, snapping her out of her angry ramblings.

“Oh. Yes. Right. Anyway _Headmaster_ ” she began with ice dripping from her tone, “I'm here about the instructions you left in the back of the Tales of Beedle the Bard.” She said this blankly, without a hint of hesitation. This was not a question, it was a statement of fact.

The Headmaster went pale, a look as grave as Harry had ever seen him wear etched upon his face.

And that was really saying something, when one considers that he was already dead.

“Are you quite certain Miss Granger?” he asked sharply

“Of course I am.” she scoffed, “I wouldn't risk coming back here if I wasn't”

“I need you to be specific. How bad have things gotten? It is rather difficult to get news as a portrait you know.”

She chuckled darkly then “Yes I imagine it is. Not pleasant to be left in the dark is it Headmaster?”

He inclined his head in acknowledgement of her jibe.

Harry watched this whole byplay with discomfort. After everything they had gone through, he couldn't say that he disagreed with his friend, but it stilled seem wrong in some childishly innocent part of his brain to hear _Hermione Granger_ talk to a teacher with such obvious disdain.

But then again, neither of them are the same people that they once were.

“Headmaster, I'm not sure what's going on here, but you have to help Hermione with whatever it is. There's nothing left to lose at this point. No point in holding anything back in reserve for later. We- the two of us I mean- are the _only ones_ left”

He said this quietly, his head and shoulders slumped , as if dragged down by the weight of his unexpressed emotions.

The portrait looked stricken, a small tear running down its perfectly rendered cheek. For the first time in his life, words seemed to have failed him. When he finally did decide to speak it was only to speak one word.

“ _Ariana”_

It must have been a password of some kind, as the second the word left his mouth the portrait began to swing forward, to reveal tiny hole in the wall that seemed to contain a single sheet of parchment.

Hermione reached out to grab it slowly, reverently, before placing it inside the back cover of the battered old book of fairytales and then placing it inside her ever-present beaded bag. She closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief and then moved the portrait back into place.

“Thank you.” she said simply.

“You're welcome, Miss Granger. Now you have the ritual, there are a few matters that we must discuss urgently. First and foremost, being the _when._ Now I have looked at all of the angles and I feel that the best course- Wait! Where are you going?”

The Headmaster and Harry wore identical looks of shock as Hermione headed for the door, not caring to hear the end of the sentence.

“Miss Granger it really is vitally important that you listen to what I have to say. There is a delicate balance, one which must be maintained.”

“No. I will not listen to you ” she said, steel running through her voice now.

Hermione had turned around cold hard fury marring her usually pretty features and turning them into stone.

“Not anymore” she continued, “I believed in you before, we both did. We did every. single. fucking. Life-threatening, traumatising, horrific thing that you asked of us. And where has it gotten us? Starvation, deprivation, cold, pain. Everyone we love, hell, everyone we know, is dead. And it hasn't stopped. More people are dying every day, and they die without hope, or justice. And that is just the tip of the iceberg of what's going on out there.”

Harry was crying now, hot fat tears spurting down his cheeks as he sobbed uncontrollably. Two years worth of unshed tears making their escape while Hermione systematically and completely tore down the man who was partly to blame for the burdens his life had placed upon him.

“Snape lied for you and spied for you. Harry _died_ for you. Good men and women lost their lives because they believed in your so called plans. But I see you Albus Dumbledore” She spat, voice cutting through the silence of the room like a hot knife “Your 'plans' are nothing more than manipulations, and your loyal followers only pawns in the fight for your 'Greater Good'. Well I'm through with it. I'm through with _you.”_ She looked at Harry, sitting in a ball on the floor underneath the portrait now, her expression softening slightly.

“He's done with you too.” She said quietly, helping him off the cold, hard floor and heading towards the door. “I'm never letting you _near_ him ever again. Boys are not weapons” She locked eyes with Snape then, who had returned to his portrait at some point during her tirade. Her tone was firm, with an air of finality to it. She walked quickly and quietly out of the room then, arm around Harry's waist to support him, she never looked back or waited for a reply.

If she had, she may have been stunned to see A dark haired man staring at her for the first time with a fierce expression of approval and a hint that was, unmistakeably, admiration

*~*~*~*

_Back to Now_

“You're right Harry, there's nothing here for us. Let's do this.”

Remembering how angry, how righteous, how desperate and miserable she had felt that day and every moment since, her resolve was returned to her.

Harry nodded stiffly at her, trying to keep his composure in tact. That lasted for all of ten seconds before he rushed towards her, gathered her in his arms and hugged her for dear life.

“Listen, even if this works I know that there's no way of knowing where we'll end up, or who we'll be. It could be a very long time until we see each other and I just need you to know that I love you. You're my best friend, nothing can change that. Not time or space or death. Trust me I would know.” He said with a laugh. A real laugh. The first one since Teddy. She knew then that he didn't really expect this to work, he expected to die.

She did too, in all honesty, but his sheer joy at the prospect made her depressed.

“I love you too. I'll miss you. I hope that wherever we end up, we get there together, but if we don't, please remember that you're never alone. That you are my family always.”

She squeezed his right hand tightly with her left and tried hopelessly to get his hair to stay flat with the other. She let him go and stepped back to glare at the chaotic black mop on top of his head as if it had done her some personal affront just by existing.

“Dear god I hope you have better hair. In fact- I hope that we both do!” she muttered mutinously, blowing a stray curl away from her face, making him laugh again,

They held hands once again as they stepped inside the ritual circle, lighting the candles around the outer edge with their wands wordlessly as they did so, sealing them in. The runes around them started to glow a bright, hot orange, and the ambient magic of the forest started to permeate the air around them. It pulsed and thrashed about the circle wildly, angry at whoever had summoned it, it pressed down upon the two young magicals like a physical presence, forcing them to their knees, demanding they explain themselves. Simply put, the amount of power here was suffocating.

It was necessary, however. The amount of power required for this type of ritual was immense. Far more than two teens could achieve alone. That's why they had decided from the offset that Hogwarts was the only place in Britain that they would stand a chance of making this work. The old castle was steeped in magic, hundreds of years worth soaked up within is walls.

“Harry it's time! Do you remember The wand movements?”

He nodded resolutely, with a determined glint in his emerald green eyes . Hermione tried to borrow some confidence from her best friend, but her hands had started to shake anew.

_It's our only chance_.

She repeated this like a mantra as she begun silently waving and twirling her wand around in a series of complex manoeuvrers, while Harry mirrored her exactly as they faced each other in the middle of the circle, power still swirling around them.

She steadied herself once more and together they began to chant:

“Morgana, Hecate, Circe, Nimue, Cassandra, Emrys, invocabo te mutata fatum tempore motisunt, accipere hoc munus, de nove vitae dare nobis”

Twice more they chanted, Their voices increasing in volume until they were practically screaming to be heard above the gathering wind as the oppressive air pressed down still harder upon them . In unison they reached for the knife they each carried in their belts for this very occasion, lifting them up to their necks, hands shaking with fear and adrenaline as they drew them across their own throats, painting hideous red smiles . They slumped to the ground as one, their life's blood soaking into the floor as they lay coughing, sputtering dying,

Until everything went black, and they knew no more.

*~*~*~*

_St Mungo's Hospital, London, 31 st July 1959_

“Orion will you stop your incessant fussing I am fine!“ A woman snapped nastily, managing to sound haughty even through her obvious exhaustion. A dark haired man shuffled hastily away from her bedside.

“As should you be, more than fine, in fact” Another female voice interrupted, sounding just as superior and unpleasant, “You should be proud to carry on the name and the legacy of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black”

Walburga Black hummed politely in agreement, too tired to do anything more.

“And what an heir he shall be Wally!” exclaimed the man imperiously, clearly extremely enamoured with his new son. “What shall we name him?” he asked, giving that honour to his wife.

She smiled a rare smile as she declared, “He will be called Cepheus. Cepheus Pollux Black”

“A good, strong name for a strong boy” said the second woman , nodding as she rocked the not quite asleep child back and forth gently.

“Yes, clearly he has the look of a Black about him, and those eyes, have you ever seen anything like it on a babe so young? The young ladies won't stand a chance!” He chuckled merrily.

The woman stared down at her grandson lovingly, mesmerised by his emerald green orbs staring back at her with half lidded eyes. She quite agreed with Orion's assessment, the were quite stunning.

And so very distinctive too.

*~*~*~*

_Spinners End, Cokeworth, England, 9 th January 1960_

“Come on love, that's it, just one more. You're doing so well, I can see the baby's head now..... And another _really big_ push... There we are! You did it! That's it little love.”

A dark haired woman lay crying and utterly worn out on a blood stained mattress in a modestly appointed home, she had just had the most tiring night of her life and had noone around to help her. Her husband certainly wasn't. Probably out drinking all the housekeeping money again, The woman looked terrible. She was too pale, too thin, and had finger mark bruises all over her arms and one massive one her neck that stood out starkly against her unnatural pallor.

Maude Overstreet, midwife for over thirty years, felt sorry for the woman. She knew that this would be a pattern that would continue for a long time to come, she had seen too many cases like this one before. As was a woman's lot in life, she supposed.

Oh well, best not to get involved, she sighed sadly, cleaning and wrapping the mewling baby in front of her in a blanket. She wished them a silent good luck as she handed the little boy over to his mother.

“Here, little one, go have a cuddle with your mum and sister” she cooed, as she gathered her equipment up into her aluminium carry case.

“They are beautiful babies, and look at her with all them curls! Got any names in mind?” she inquired, always interested to hear the weird and wonderful creations parents could come up with. They had a pool going back at the hospital to see who could find the strangest. Bloomin' Betty Andrews had won three times in a row now!

“Severus” Eileen said softly, staring tenderly at her new son, “And Hermione” she said, just as reverently. She stared at the two babies in disbelief, crying for a different reason now. She didn't quite know how something so hateful and ugly as her marriage, could create something so wonderful and pure. She was overflowing with love for her two new children, and vowed silently to do the best that she could for them from that moment.

“Right, er, lovely” Maude responded, before taking her leave. She rushed off to see if she could catch Betty before her shift ended, she was sure she had this one in the bag. She was already thinking of the new shoes she would buy with her winnings. Severus and Hermione Snape, thank you very much indeed!

**A/N: So, that's chapter one! I haven't had it beta'd or anything so it may be riddled with errors, if it is, feel free to point them out. Please let me know what you think, is it terrible, do you want to see more?**

**Thanks,**

**SJ**


	2. I Don't Know Where I Am

Chapter Two: I Don't Know Where I Am

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment ***

**TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of domestic violence, and implied sexual assault. The first part of this chapter is pretty heavy so if that's something that you're particularly sensitive to please proceed with caution.**

***~*~*~***

_**Spinners End, Cokeworth, England, 9th January 1965** _

_Crash. Thump. Shatter._

A high pitched voice screamed and sobbed and begged as the muffled sounds of unforgiving fists against worn out flesh continued mercilessly.

A tiny girl with dark, uncontrollable curls closed her eyes tightly, trying not to cry at her mother's pleas for mercy. She knew that Sev would see her tears and be terrified. He relied on his big sister to be strong for him, which she thought terribly unfair at times, she was barely an hour older than him after all. But it had always been this way, and she loved her little brother fiercely.

She hugged him closer to her, stroking his hair the way she knew mother did when they were unwell. She could hear his hateful words as clear as if he were standing right next to her even from their spot here at the top of the stairs.

She didn't know what some of the words meant, but she knew that they must be bad to make her mother so sad. Once she had asked mother what a slut was and she cried for an hour and had to have one of her lie downs. Hermione hadn't asked about what they meant after that, and she made sure that Sev didn't either.

She hated her father, everything about him made her feel sick. His teeth were crooked and yellow and his breath always smelled like beer and cigarettes and it made her stomach turn every time he screamed in her face. Which was most days. He always wore tracksuit bottoms at home and nothing else, and smelled like sweat. He was thin and pale and dark and tall, and had black glinting eyes that were always judging, always searching for some infraction, perceived slight that he could vent his ire on. His favourite target was always Eileen and her housekeeping skills

Mother had always tried to make the house a nice place for them to live, even though it was old and draughty and the oven only worked some of the time and they sometimes could see their breath in the winter months. She always cleaned the house until it smelled like lemons and bleach, and used her housekeeping money to buy materials to knit them warm jumpers and cosy blankets. Hermione had always loved those jumpers. They always made her feel safe even though they were a bit lumpy and the material itched something fierce. What she liked most though was the way that mother's face, normally all frown lines and panic, would light up in pure joy as her children eagerly pulled the lovingly made garments over their heads and thanked her with hugs and kisses and all the love they could convey in their own childlike manner.

None of this was good enough for father though. Tobias Snape was a cruel and unforgiving man, perpetually unhappy with his lot in life, his temper only matched in ferocity by his bitterness. He despised his wife and resented his children, and made no attempt to hide that fact. Simply put, he was a bully, and Hermione hated him for it.

Sometimes, she would have strange dreams. Well, not dreams exactly, she just didn't know what else to call them, but she was mostly sure that dreams happened at night time when you were asleep. She asked Sev but he had just shrugged sulkily and told her to ask mother. She dreamed that she had another man for her dad, he had curly brown hair and warm brown eyes and he read her stories, and ruffled her hair and called her 'princess'. It felt so real that sometimes she wanted to cry for her pretend dad and wished that he could come and make everything okay. There were other 'dreams' too, where a woman who looked just like her except with lighter hair and blue eyes sang her to sleep in soft pink sheets, in a beautiful bedroom all her own. She was sure that her real mother and Sev didn't exist in this dream world, and that made her want to cry for a different reason. She felt like a terrible traitor and a bad sister. She loved her family dearly and wouldn't want to live in that better world if they couldn't be there with her. It was all so confusing and it hurt her heart to think about, so she didn't if she could help it.

The sounds downstairs had slowed down until now there was silence. Sev wiped his eyes quickly on his sleeves, and she pretended not to see. They both cocked their heads slightly to the side, listening for the inevitable sound of their father dressing and storming out. He would be gone all night now, and they both breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

Severus' face screwed up in anger the second he heard the door slam.

“I hate him. I wish he would drop dead.” he declared, sneer prominent on his too-thin baby face,

“I do too. “ She confessed guiltily. This made the young boy start, his big sister would usually chastise him for saying such spiteful things. She must've been really angry his time.

“I hate her too. She' a witch for Merlin's sake. Why doesn't she do something?!” He burst out impulsively, although there was no real heat to his words.

Hermione sighed again, this time in exasperation, she had talked to him about this a million times before, and she just wanted to go and see mother, not cover old ground once again.

“He snapped her wand Sev, and she hasn't got enough money to buy a new one and he won't give her any either. _You know this._ Stop being stupid, lets go downstairs and see her, she'll need our help”

The boy just pouted sulkily as he always did, but she knew that it was just his way of coping. He wasn't really angry with mother, just scared. They proceeded downstairs on tiptoe, holding each others hand for comfort, listening for any sign that their father would come back for some forgotten item and catch them. He had never hit them, but had threatened it often enough to make them terrified of the awful man.

They reached the small sitting room quickly and were greeted by a horrifying sight. Their mother was on the ground, her face swollen and barely recognisable, she was bleeding profusely from somewhere they couldn't see and she was naked from the waist down. She was groaning quietly, or else Hermione would have thought that she was dead.

She grabbed the warm green woollen blanket from the back of the couch and placed it over her mother. She didn't know why she was such a state of undress, but thought that if it were her, she wouldn't want anyone to be able to stare at her like that. Hermione felt a lump in her throat and had to fight through it to start issuing instructions to her pale and shaking brother, who looked only seconds away from losing his meagre breakfast of toast and jam. She didn't blame him. It had never been this bad before and she was at a loss as to what to do, she would usually just send Sev to get her mum some painkillers and a big glass of water, while she wiped the blood off her face and sometimes the carpet or her mum's clothes and then she and her twin would hug her gently until she felt able to get herself up and limp her way to the bedroom.

Somehow she didn't think that this would work this time.

“Mum. Mum, what do you need? I don't know what to do.” Her voice sounded small and scared and she hated herself for it. She was supposed to be the brave one, she was the one who looked after Severus, made sure he brushed his teeth and took baths and got her mum out of bed when she forgot to feed them when she was having one of her bad days. This though, she didn't know what to do.

She knew that they weren't supposed to tell anyone about the bad things that happened at home, but she could see that her mother was very badly hurt, and she couldn't do anything to help.

Her mother was silent now, and her eyes were closed. Hermione knew that this was a bad sign.

She turned around to face a horrified Severus and placed her hand on his shoulder.

“Sev, I need you to do something for me. I know we're not supposed to tell, but this is very important, I need you to get Mrs, Evans from round the back. She's a nurse, I heard her tell Mum over the fence once, maybe she can help.”

He nodded his head, but she could see that he was still terrified.

“Don't worry Sev, if dad finds out I'll tell him it was me who went, but I need to stay with mum right now and make sure that she's okay. This can't wait. Go now!”

He seemed to shake out of his stupor then and ran as fast as his little legs could carry him out the back door.

The little girl sat cross legged on the floor, not caring about the blood that was staining her jeans, and held her mother's hand. She was unnaturally pale and quiet.

Hermione didn't really know much about God, but she had heard from her Granny Snape when she was alive that if you prayed, he could hear you. And if you prayed hard enough, sometimes He would answer them.

She closed he eyes and prayed as hard as she could that God would not let her mother die. She didn't want to be without her, she needed her. She prayed that someone could hear her as she cried and her mother lay bleeding on the floor.

Everything had happened quickly after that, Mrs. Evans had gasped and called 999 as soon as she saw Eileen. She then set to work putting pressure on the large wound on her side that Hermione would learn years later was a knife wound, one of five all over her abdomen.

Before she knew it Hermione, alongside her brother, was being taken back to the Evans' while her mother was ushered alone to the hospital in an ambulance.

Mrs. Evans, Gladys she told them, fed them hot chocolate with lots of cream and marshmallows.

“Sugar, for the shock” she had told them. Hermione had filed the information away for later.

She had stripped them of their bloody clothes, bathed them, and wrapped them in large fluffy towels while she found some nightclothes for them to wear.

Severus had stood stoically through all of this, not saying a word, the only sign of his distress was his hand squeezing hers tightly as they stood in the unfamiliar blue bedroom.

Hermione, on the other hand, had been shaking like a leaf ever since her mother was taken away. She felt cold down to her very bones and couldn't seem to get warmed up, or stop her hands from trembling. She had still remembered to thank Gladys profusely for her help and for the hot chocolate, she knew that mother would want them to remember their manners.

“Okay my loves, here we go, fresh jimjams just out of the dryer. Are you okay to dress yourselves?”

Gladys asked this cheerfully, but her voice sounded strangely thick, Hermione thought. The twins both nodded that they could and she handed them over quickly.

“You two can have the guest room tonight, and in the morning we'll have a little chat about what happens next, okay duckie?” She said gently, helping them up into the large double bed in the centre of the room.

“My two little girls are at the pictures with their Dad just now, they'll be home any minute, but you'll see them in the morning. If you need anything, I'll be right downstairs, now you two have had a long day, get some sleep. Sweet dreams”

The bed was so comfortable, any other day Hermione would be ecstatic and fall asleep in short order. Not tonight. Tonight she just wanted her mum.

Severus wrapped his arm around her, sensing her thoughts as he often did. They just lay like that for a long time, providing what little comfort they could to each other. Eventually, the little boy plucked up the courage to give voice to his deepest fear in that moment.

“ 'Mi. What if she dies? I said that hate her! I don't hate her, I love her and I want her to be alive so that I can tell her that and that I'm sorry”

She wanted to cry some more for her (only slightly) younger brother then.

“She knows that Sev. Remember what mum said that time, 'love is forever, it doesn't stop or go away just because you're angry or hurt' . She knows that we love her even when we get angry and say stupid things. Just like we know that she loves us even when she forgets to feed us, or is too sad to get out of bed”

Sev nodded vigorously, and she could see the desperate hope in his eyes that she was right. She knew that she was.

Silence fell again for a few minutes before the boy spoke again.

“Happy Birthday 'Mi.”

“Happy Birthday Sev”

Neither spoke again after that, and Hermione found her thoughts drifting once again to the brown haired man and woman from her dreams, and the beautiful pink sheets, and the comforting floral scent of the woman's perfume, and for the first time, she cried until her eyes stung with the unfairness of her life.

A young, blonde haired woman with striking emerald coloured eyes stood at the bedroom door, tears running down her cheeks as she listened to the interaction between the two children. They were too old for their age, and seeing that poor woman lying on that dingy floor, baby girl crying beside her, had been like looking at her with her own mother all over again. She vowed to herself then that she would do whatever she could to help these people

She closed the door quietly and headed downstairs to make a cuppa, lost in her thoughts.

*~*~*~*

_**Grimmauld Place, London, England, 2 nd January 1967** _

“Mother is quite right Sirius, your behaviour is quite uncouth and clearly unbecoming of a member of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.” Cepheus said sternly, in his most snooty voice.

His younger brother stared at the floor guiltily, looking most contrite.

“You embarrassed mother, and poor Cissy was so distraught she had to be taken home early, you will apologise first thing tomorrow when we see her at grandfather's manor tomorrow for dinner”

He glared at the younger boy until he was satisfied that he had gotten his message across.

He looked up and his green eyes met the hard, brown eyes of his mother. She nodded at him stiffly, look of approval on her face. She was satisfied that he had done his duty as the future head of the family.

Hi father sat on his favourite wingback chair in the gothic study that was heavily decorated in green and silver, a less than subtle nod to his Hogwarts house. He examined the scene before him with disinterest, glass of expensive Firewhiskey in hand. Cepheus knew better.

His father was sulking, he'd been thoroughly chastised by his wife for laughing at the prank his middle son had pulled at Aunt Cassie's New Year party. He did not like to be told off by his wife, especially in front of his father and his brother.

“Well done Cepheus, you have done your duty. Now don't let this cretin shame our family again. Get him under control before I am forced to do it for you.”

“Yes mother” he said dutifully, knowing that it was best to just agree politely to whatever she said.

“You're dismissed” She allowed finally, but not before shooting Sirius one last disparaging glare.

The two young boys quickly left the study and made their way to the eldest's room two floors above.

They shut the door behind them, and promptly collapsed in a fit of giggles.

“Oh Merlin' Ceph that was brilliant- 'you have brought shame on us all oh you awful, shameful thing- ' it was hilarious!” He held his nose to mimic the nasally tone his elder brother had used only moments earlier. He laughed again, struggling to catch his breath.

“Oh yeah, well how about you? That was the most over the top fake sorry look I've ever seen Sirius, I can't believe she bought it.”

A third laugh joined theirs, the youngest of the brothers, Regulus, didn't like to be left out.

“ Well done Cepheus, my golden child, you are the perfect paragon of purity and virtue ” Sirius continued, in a ridiculous but fair impression of their mother,

“Well where does she think I got those dungbombs in the first place? I'm not even allowed to step foot inside Zonko's since Lucius' birthday party!” he added, his laughter fading to a giggle now.

Cepheus just grinned cheekily then. He knew that he was his mother's favourite, and she would never suspect him of any wrongdoing. He played his part well, and it allowed him to step in and help his younger brothers when they needed it, which was fine by him.

It was a strange experience, being the favoured child after his life at the Dursleys'. His current mother didn't fawn over him the way that Petunia had with her 'precious boy' but he did get away with more than the other two, and it did make him feel slightly guilty at times.

Sirius was his father's favourite, no matter how much he tried to hide it, the whole family knew that the antics of his middle child delighted him to no end.

Poor Reg, the only person who loved him best was Kreacher.

Although his two older brothers and female cousins did dote on him enough for it not to matter. He was truly a sweet natured child, very innocent and all dark curls and chubby cheeks and ridiculously long eyelashes that framed intelligent grey eyes.

Cepheus thought back to his last birthday, where he'd burned up a terrible fever, and slept for a day and a half, and woken up with all his memories of his life as Harry. And he knew that that was what they were, memories, not strange dreams as he had previously believed.

He was greeted with a cry of relief and a rare hug from Walburga when he had awakened, and marvelled at the fact that this woman was a far cry from the screeching harpy that yelled obscenities from her portrait. He was even more astounded to find that she was his mother, and he genuinely loved her.

Over the past year, he had reconciled with the fact that he was now Cepheus, he was still Harry, but he was Cepheus too and he was going to love and care for his family, no matter what his past (future?) memories told him about their future. Time travel was mighty confusing.

He was most surprised to find that he had a much happier childhood here with the Blacks, a family his bitter godfather had despised, than he ever had with the Dursleys. He would have expected to be miserable, but he found himself unable to be down when he had two brilliant little brothers to look after. In that way, he thought that he had helped Sirius enjoy his youth a little more too, since he never had to worry about the pressure to be heir, and was not punished as he would've been otherwise because of this.

“It was funny, ” Reg agreed, thinking back to earlier that evening when Narcissa had screamed bloody murder after the dungbombs had exploded all over her new party dress. “But I did feel sorry for Cissy, she was so upset”

Sirius did look genuinely sorry for a brief moment at that. They all loved Cissy, she was always kind to them and sneaked them cakes when mother wasn't looking.

“It was supposed to hit Trixie” he admitted guiltily.

“Oh, I wish it had” Reg replied thoughtfully.

No one liked Bellatrix, she was surly and cruel to everyone, except Reg – who she seemed to like for some reason _,_ and she was always trying to boss them around like she was something special.

Cepheus in particular hated her, he wasn't sure how much of that had come from Harry's memories and how much was memories of so may horrendous Chinese burns and stinging hexes going back as long as he had known her in this life.

Either way, he would be keeping an eye on her.

“Hey, its alright, what's done is done, I meant what I said though, you should apologize when you see her. Maybe give her a box of that Honeydukes chocolates that she likes that you keep stashed under your bed”

Sirius nodded in agreement, but eyed his older brother suspiciously.

“How do you know where I keep my chocolate?”

“I don't know what you're talking about” he replied innocently, before promptly pulling three chocolate frogs out of his pocket and giving one each to the two younger boys.

“Hey! Those are mines” Sirius cried indignantly, snatching the offered sweet, clearly annoyed at being gifted his own chocolate.

“I have no idea what you're talking about” He said again smugly, before turning to Regulus and winking.

Sirius huffed and shoved the whole frog into his mouth before choking, sending the other two off laughing again.

Yes, Cepheus knew that it wouldn't always be this way but for now, life was good.

*~*~*~*

**A/N: Chapter 2 complete! I honestly intended to cover their entire childhood in this chapter, it wasn't supposed to be so heavy, but this one just got away from me. One more chapter of their pre-hogwarts experience and then we get them onto the express! Hope you guys enjoyed, please leave a review if you did. Or even if you didn't really.**

**Thanks for reading,**

**SJ**


	3. Power Plays

Chapter 3: Power Plays

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment ***

**TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of domestic violence. Brief scene. This is the last of it, I swear. Also just to preface this, I do not think victims of violence are weak, or anything of the sort, this is just the characters feelings about herself. Personally, I think you all are the strongest ones out there, you are survivors. Much love to all of you.**

_**Spinners End, Cokeworth, England, 3 rd May 1967** _

“Oh mum, it was fantastic! They had Lions, and a rhinoceros and even a _polar bear!_ I think the Zoo might be my favourite place in the world” Hermione babbled as she flashed a gap-toothed smile at her mother then. She had lost her two front baby teeth the week before, and her normally wild hair was pulled into two perfect french braids, tied at the end with red ribbons. She was the very picture of childhood innocence, sitting at her chair at the kitchen table, swinging her legs back and forth happily.

“Oh poppet, that sounds wonderful!” Eileen smiled contentedly, sipping her tea from her favourite blue mug. Her marriage was as terrible as it ever was, and hospital trips had become a more frequent occurrence, but now she had a wonderful friend who had taken her children into her heart, and made sure that they knew more than the fear and misery and deprivation that had played such a featuring role in their young lives. She always handed over bags full of her own girls' old clothes for Hermione, and even a few of her nephew's things made their way to Sev. Most precious of all, she provided a sanctuary. More than once she had sent the kids away when she had sensed that Toby was in one of his moods, and Gladys had taken them in without question. It gave her some much needed peace of mind.

Hermione knew that mother was still sad a lot of the time, but it seemed to soothe her to hear how happy her children were. In all honesty, she was grateful to the Evans' for taking them along on Tuney's birthday trip, and she had always loved animals, but the Animals in the Zoo that day had depressed her, the conditions they were in were terrible, and they looked so lonely that it made her heart ache. That said, it wouldn't do to let mother know that. Sev could tell though, he could always tell. He raised one eyebrow at her in his own sceptical way that would become something of a signature of his throughout his life, or it would if her visions served her correctly. That's what she had decided to call them, visions. She had read about the famous seer Cassandra in one of Mr. Evans' books and the notion had appealed to her, so that's what she had decided she was. At least until a better explanation presented itself. She shot her brother a fierce warning glare, to which he just shot her a smirk and allowed her to continue her tale.

“It really was mum, and Tuney was so nice, she braided my hair for me and picked out these ribbons -She's a wiz with hair you know- and said that us big sisters had to stick together! She let me borrow one of her dresses and hang around with her and her friends all day. She was very kind”

That part was actually true, Hermione _adored_ Petunia Evans, she had a no-nonsense attitude and a sharp tongue, rather like Sev really, but she was kind in quiet ways. She would find ways to give things to her, like sneering at one of her _perfectly good_ dresses that she had seen Hermione staring at wistfully and saying “That old thing is ghastly. A rag really, you might as well have it.” before tossing it to the younger girl carelessly, nose turned up. Every time though, Hermione caught her small smile when she cried out her gleeful thanks. She also defended her from the bigger, snobbier girls in the estate, purely by out-snobbing them. Her superior glare was a sight to behold, even at nine years old. Hermione often wondered if this is where Sev learned it from in the future, making her giggle.

She looked after all of them, although Sev and Lily annoyed her, she could tell. Hermione didn't blame her. Those two were a nightmare, always whispering to each other and giggling and getting up to mischief. She resented Lily a little bit, for stealing her brother away, sometimes. For making him smile and laugh, the way she never could. She thought maybe Tuney felt the same way about Sev, she caught her looking wistfully after Lily sometimes after the two would have another big fight and Lily would stalk off to find Sev. Maybe that's why she took Hermione under her wing.

Not that Lily was a bad person, not at all, she was actually brilliant. She was one of the funniest people Hermione had ever met, she was sweet and bold and confident and _almost_ as smart as she and Sev. Her memory was terrible though, and she got easily bored, so hated to focus on one topic too long. That must be where her son would get it from in the future. _Harry_ she remembered. And he would have his mothers brilliant green eyes and open heart.

Sev coughed loudly, and she was pulled from her thoughts. She had spaced out again. Really it was very confusing having so many memories locked inside her brain and she sometimes lost her train of thought mid conversation, or stared into space for minutes at a time. This made Sev scoff and call her an airhead once, she had responding by hiding his chemistry set and refusing to give it back until he apologized, and when he dug in his heels she threatened to start sending it back to him in pieces. Now he just sighed in an exaggerated manner whenever she got lost in her thoughts, but didn't say a word.

“Sorry mum, what did you say?” She asked politely, realising that her mother had been speaking to her.

“It's okay sweetheart, you're just my little dolly daydreamer. I just said that you look beautiful, and that it was very nice of the Evans' to take you along. Did you remember to say thank you?” Eileen's eyes glittered with amusement at her daughter.

“Of course!” She responded brightly, while her son scowled and responded “Of course we did mother. What do you take me for? We're not ingrates!” in a highly offended tone.

Eileen guffawed at her surly son. He always tried to project an air of scorn and intimidation, but was as soft as butter on the inside. It warmed her to see. It reminded her of her grandfather who was the exact same. He'd reduce all of his peers in the Wizengamot to quivering messes, while sneaking her a toffee from his robe pocket at the same time.

“Right you are son. Sorry.” She replied, trying to compose herself. Severus harrumphed and nodded imperiously.

“What did you just say to your mother boy?” a voice growled dangerously, making the three freeze in horror. They had been so caught up in their little moment of domestic bliss that they had forgotten to listen for the door.

Severus had gone deathly pale with terror. He seemed rooted to the spot, unable to speak or think.

“I asked you a question!” He snarled, advancing on his young son slowly, like a jungle cat poised to snare its prey.

Eileen jumped up from her seat, standing in front of the young boy, trying to draw her husband's ire to herself.

“Come on Toby love, he's just a kid, he was only kidding around. He didn't mean it.” Her voice was high pitched and panicked.

“Get the fuck out of my way you stupid bitch!” He screamed, grabbing her by the hair and dragging her out of the kitchen, yelling all the while. “This is your fucking fault you useless excuse for a mother! I'll teach them to mind their manners”

He deposited his crying wife in the hallway and locked the kitchen door She starting sobbing helplessly and banging on the kitchen door, crying out for her children.

Tobias Snape turned back to his son, face red with rage, grabbed his hair by its roots and slapped him full force in the face. Severus cried out in pain, and tried to flinch away but could not because of the man's iron grip on his head. His face burned with pain and humiliation, his head was ringing and his mouth tasted like copper. He was so overwhelmed and ashamed he couldn't stop the hot, fat tears from rolling down is face.

Tobias drew his hand back to strike again and found himself unable to, he felt his hand being slowly crushed under am immense amount of pressure and bent back on itself. He fell to his knees and screamed out in agony.

He wore and expression of shock on his face as he realised the source of his sudden predicament.

_Hermione_.

Her expression was serene, but her eyes showed unrestrained fury, and the air around her crackled with unrestrained fury.

“What have you done to me you little fre-” He started to cough and splutter, unable to talk anymore.

“Shut up.” She replied coldly, in a strange, harsh voice that belied her years “No-one here cares one bit for anything you have to say. We are finished with you. We are finished being afraid. Now its your turn”

Tobias Snape felt something then that he hadn't felt in a very long time. He was afraid. He was also in agony as his hand continued to twist unnaturally, causing sickening crunching noises.

“You are going to leave this house _today_ and never come back. You will not take anything that belongs to my mother and you will not attempt to contact us in any way. _Do you understand?_ ”

He nodded fearfully, anything to make the pain stop.

“Good. I'm glad we understand each other. In fact, since you are being so cooperative, let me help you pack” she said airily, and with a wave of her hand, the kitchen door clicked open, and the young girl sent the grown man flying , his scant possesions floating down the stairs and into the hallway.

The front door opened next, depositing the sobbing man, who had now released his bladder from fear or pain, on the pavement outside the shabby house. His belongings piled up neatly beside him.

The occupants of the house were dead silent as the heavy front door slammed shut on Tobias Snape for the final time. They were free.

Eileen looked at her daughter as if seeing her for the first time, lost for words. She looked between the young girl with the hard eyes, and the young boy who was staring at his sister in fear and awe.

She felt ashamed of her weakness. Her daughter's first accidental magic, it should be a joyous occasion but instead was brought on to protect her younger brother, a job that should have fell to his mother. She was a failure. Never again. Even if he shouted, or screamed, or begged. Tobias Snape was never coming back. She had allowed him to strike her child once, and that was once too many.

Hermione approached her mother gently then, pulling her from her thoughts. She hugged her mother around her waist before speaking quietly in a voice too world-weary and full of wisdom.

“You are not to blame for this. You would have done it if you could. It doesn't matter now. We're free.”

Severus approached the two females cautiously, as if afraid to intrude. They both opened their arms to him and he joined the embrace before releasing a hearty sob. The other two quickly done the same and they stood there for the longest time, holding each other and crying, knowing without reason that their nightmare was over.

**Spinners End, Cokeworth, England, 4 th May 1967**

Hermione couldn't sleep, the memories just kept on coming, wave after terrifying wave. She thought back to the day before, when the terrifying truth had burdened itself upon her.

_Time traveller. Well, kind of._

She had seen her father advance on Severus and something within her mind snapped into place like a jarring rubber band. She was filled with rage, rage that didn't seem to belong to her. She saw images of war and terror, and an older Sev, filled with bitterness and anger. A pathetic bully with a heart of stone and nerves of steel. A man unable to move past the darkness of his childhood. A man who, despite this, stood against evil until his dying day.

She just knew, or the other Hermione inside her did, that she couldn't let it come to pass again. She couldn't stand back and watch more pain, and death and misery. She couldn't let another person fall.

Visions of death and despair and torture filled her mind. A supercut of devastation, the wizarding war's greatest hits, a voice thought bitterly.

When Tobias hand met Sev's face, she lost complete control. The _other_ Hermione took over. She harnessed her wild, untrained magic and directed it at a thoroughly deserving target.

Afterwards, she was exhausted, all the magic use robbing her body of all of its strength. she had laid in bed all of the night before and most of the day after, but sleep was scarce. The memories filled her, becoming her own.

She wasn't really sure who she was now. Was she herself? Was she the battle hardened witch from her memories? Was she a child? She didn't feel very grown up. In fact, the memories made her feel very small and young indeed.

She asked herself these questions over and over again as the sun began to set once again. The memories started to slow and settle and gave her space to think.

_I am both._ She decided. _I am neither._

_Hermione Granger is who I am just as much as Hermione Snape. They both make me who I am, I need both._

With this thought, sleep finally claimed her.

_**Black Family Manor, Abergele, Wales, 22 nd August 1970** _

Arcturus Black was the epitome of the pureblood Lord. Arrogant, remarkably handsome for his age, more money than God and a taste in firewhisky to match.

Given all of this, Cepheus had been prepared to hate his Grandfather once his memories had returned to him. He remembered Sirius' disdain for his entire family from his previous lifetime and prepared to have his views on his admittedly unusual family forever changed. He'd braced himself for prejudice and hatred and darkness. He prepared his perfect pureblood heir mask and it was all for naught.

Arcturus Black, as it turned out, was a bit of a radical at heart. He had sat Cepheus down in his private study that morning and explained what he called 'the facts of life' to grandson and heir.

“Listen boy, you might fool your idiot mother and useless layabout of a father with all of your 'yes mother, no mother, anything you say mother' nonsense, but you don't fool me.”

Cepheus stared back at him gamely, features schooled into a well practised expression of casual innocence.

“I'm not sure what you mean Grandfather, it is my duty to respect the wishes of my mother and father, and to uphold the honour of the House of Black”

Arcturus snorted derisively “Yes, yes, and the sun shines out your arsehole and your shit smells like daises.”

Cepheus tried not to let his jaw drop. He'd never heard and adult curse before. The Harry part of him wanted to laugh loudly, but he buried it down deep, not wanting to appear disrespectful.

“Truth is, we're no different from the rest of them. We just have more money and less sense. And an unhealthy obsession with marrying our own cousins. But I think you already know that don't you boy.” He raised his eyebrow shrewdly at his grandson, taking a sip from the glass of amber liquid in his hand.

Cepheus wrestled with himself. Did he answer honestly? He got the feeling that his grandfather knew far more than he was letting on, and was testing him in some way. He decided to go with honesty.

“Yes sir” he said simply, not giving anymore away.

The older man nodded approvingly at him, clearly he had passed.

“I've seen a lot of strange things rattling about in that head of yours. Things that I'm not sure either of us care to discuss out loud.” Cepheus was not surprised his grandfather had been rooting about in his head, he was notoriously nosey. He indicated his head slightly in agreement, unsure where this conversation was going.

“Well you know occlumency, I can see that. I suggest that you keep practicing, I'll be testing you periodically, and I want your shields rock solid by next summer. We can't have anyone else getting to what you know. It could end us all, understand?”

Cepheus nodded again, he had already begun work on his shields as soon as he got his memories back, but it was exceedingly difficult with a childish mind and a limited amount of untrained magic. He hoped that he would be able to improve drastically once he started at Hogwarts next month and was able to exercise his magic daily.

“Secondly, I think you ought to know that I am naming you heir after me. Frankly, your father is too lazy and he lets his harpy of a wife run roughshod over his life. I've already told him this is happening and the pathetic wastrel had the gall to be _relieved_ about it. Sod. That means we have to speed up your training, that means starting next summer you'll be spending at least two weeks here at the manor, so be prepared. You'll be getting your heir ring tonight at the family dinner. Cygnus will not be happy, but don't you let him intimidate you. This is your birthright you and me are going to make the Black family a name to be proud of, understood?”

“Understood Grandfather, we'll give them hell” he grinned cheekily, making the man laugh loudly. Truthfully, this was a masterstroke by his grandfather. He had been struggling for decades to find a way to steer the family from the path of potential ruin by way of the Gaunts, interbreeding until they were so twisted and stunted they simply died out. Placing this younger, more liberal, but vitally strong boy at the helm gave the family its best chance at survival, while providing the young man all the power and authority he would need to accomplish his self appointed task.

“I know you will son. But never forget what I've always told you. The very first lesson.” He placed a strong hand on the young man's shoulders, eyes boring into him fiercely

“Family comes first” he replied steadily without hesitation, shoulders straight, staring right back at him.

“That's right. No matter what you mother, or uncle, or your anyone else says. Family is what's important. Not blood, or money or power. You look after our own, and the rest will follow.” He placed a hand on the young man's cheek, expression proud and solemn, before heading towards the door of his study.

“Now come on, I can smell your Grandmother's soup cooking, and those greedy bastards certainly won't save us any if we don't get to the table on time.”

Cepheus laughed loudly but rushed to follow.

No, Arcturus was not what he had expected at all.

**Platform 9 ¾, Kings Cross Station, London, England, 1 st September 1971**

“Oh wow Sev, look at it its magnificent” a small girl with bright red hair squealed excitedly, her unusually cheerful best friend looking on with amusement as she ran ahead, her eyes drinking in every ounce of magic around her.

“It's just a train Lily, I assume you have seen one before” he replied in a bored tone, but his eyes revealed a nervous excitement that was obvious to his equally excited twin.

“Oh so I suppose it wasn't you who got up and dressed at five o'clock this morning and waited at the door with his trunk until we all got up? Ridiculous.” A snarky voice drawled from beside Hermione, but she could hear the teasing tone beneath the biting words.

Severus blushed pink from his neck to hairline, “I set my alarm incorrectly, a simple error.” he dismissed, though he couldn't quite meet Petunia's eyes.

“A likely story” was her simple reply. She turned next to her younger sister and best friend.

“Now you two, I have taught you how to deal with anyone who gives you grief. Do not let me down. I don't want any tear stained notes bemoaning the unfairness of your lives. You're better than anyone here. Don't let any snivelling little toerag make you feel any different. Make me proud. And I want a letter a week from all of you. Even you Sev” Lily rolled her eyes, while Hermione's filled with tears that she would not let fall. She would miss this girl dearly.

They each gave the other girl a brief hug before she pulled away and promptly turned and walked in the opposite direction, back to the car to cry in private.

Gladys and Eileen looked them both over one last time before giving them all teary hugs of their own and sending them off to find a compartment, promising to see them at Christmas.

The three new students found a compartment with only one other person inside, he looked to be about their age. He had sandy blonde hair and a serious expression, seemingly absorbed in the text he was reading; _Standard Book of Spells: Grade 1._

Never one to be shy, Lily walked right in and stood in front of the boy until he raised his eyes from his book, seemingly startled by the three people who were now in the compartment with him.

“Excuse me, can we sit here with you? You aren't saving these seats for anyone are you?” she asked in a friendly tone. The boy seemed nervous and startled that anyone was talking to him in the first place.

He nodded shakily and gestured for them to sit.

“Yes, of course, you can sit. Please do. Certainly. I don't mind” He babbled, his face reflecting his sheer panic.

Severus just gave him a quelling look that clearly said that he didn't think much of the boy in front of him. They boy averted his eyes then, colour rising to his cheeks.

Hermione stared at the boy, sure she recognised him from somewhere, but not quite able to recall from where. She shot him a reassuring smile before beginning to load her trunk into the overhead compartment. She let her tabby kitten, Aslan, out of his cage before she placed his carrier above them as well. He immediately deposited himself on the boy's lap and lay on his back, demanding to be scratched.

“Sorry” She laughed “He's a bit of a diva. You're not allergic or anything are you?”

The boy chuckled quietly, shaking his head before proceeding to thoroughly scratch the demanding cat's belly, as he purred contentedly.

The three newcomers sat down finally, Hermione beside the boy and her cat, with Sev and Lily sitting opposite.

“Okay so now that you have made friends with my cat,-”

“A monumental achievement I can assure you” Severus muttered bitterly. He and Aslan were decidedly _not_ friends. They had settled on mutual disdain.

“Hush Sev, it's rude to interrupt. Anyways, I feel that we should at least be on a first name basis. I'm Hermione Snape, this is my little brother-”

“ _Twin_ brother.” Sev hissed angrily. Hermione just shot him a long suffering look of exasperation and continued.

“This is Severus, and that's Lily Evans, she's our best friend and grew up on the next street over from us. What's your name?”

Lily shot the boy a wide grin and waved as she was introduced. The boy waved back and nodded intently as Hermione spoke, as if he were trying to commit the information to memory.

“I'm Remus. Remus Lupin.” he responded shyly, sticking out his hand for Hermione to shake, which she did immediately.

“Nice to meet you Remus” she smiled brightly. She remembered him now. She let the memories run through her as he continued to shake the hands of the other two in the compartment.

She remembered his gruesome death and a flash of pain went through her. _Dolohov._ Another name to add to the list she was making. She also had fond recollections of the tortured professor who had taught her former self so much. She couldn't believe she had missed it, now that she knew who he was his features stood out so clearly. His face was smoother, less worn out, less lined by stress and worry, it was more open and boyish and innocent, and his hazel eyes brighter than she had ever seen them. His hair was also slightly lighter and not peppered with grey as she had known him. It lifted her heart.

It reminded her that all that had been, all that did not have to be. So many opportunities for change, so many lives that could still turn out so differently. She felt the sting of her previous self at his loss, but was filled with hope in the present. It was a heady feeling.

“Please excuse my sister, she has the most unfortunate tendency to _not pay attention!”_

Hermione snapped back to the present, and smiled at her companions sheepishly.

“Sorry, was just thinking about what a great year we're going to have. I have a feeling we're all going to be great friends”

Remus beamed at her, Sev just rolled his eyes, annoyed either by her irritation or her constant optimism. She couldn't tell.

“Right, well Hermione is clearly going to Hufflepuff. Where is everyone else going?” Lily quipped, making all four giggle.

“Not bloody likely, she's vicious when you get to know her. She's clearly a snake” Sev said confidently, raising that annoyingly perfect eyebrow at her again.

“No way! I wouldn't be a Slytherin if you paid me. Imagine sleeping in a dungeon! Underwater! Yuck. NO, I am going to be a lion. Gryffindor all the way!” She said determinedly, raising her head and puffing out her chest in an exaggerated manner.

“Couldn't have said it better myself love” a fifth voice joined the fray. Another boy had entered the compartment, another boy stood right behind him in the corridor. He had silky black hair that fell to his shoulders, and bright grey eyes filled with mischief. She knew this one too, she thought, She had to be sure though.

“And who might you be _LOVE?”_ she replied scathingly, annoyed by the condescending pet name.

“Oh did I not introduce myself? I'm Sirius Black. This is James Potter” he smiled winningly at her, flashing every one of his perfectly straight teeth in a manner that would make Gilderoy Lockhart jealous. James waved cheerily at them all, but his eyes seemed to linger on Lily a second longer than the rest of them, making Hermione smirk slightly.

_Gone, right from the first second_ she thought slyly. She heard Sirius speak again and drew her eyes back to him.

“Mind if we join you?”

**AN: So there it is, sorry for the wait I was dealing with some health stuff. Back now though, and an extra long one to make up for the wait. They're finally on the Express! What did you think? Let me know!**

**Thanks to everyone who has already favourited, followed, read and reviewed. You guys make my day.**

**'Til next time,**

**SJ**


	4. Everything Has Changed

Chapter 4: Everything has Changed

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment ***

***Speech in italics at the beginning of this chapter is a quote from “The Prince's Tale” chapter of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling.**

_**Hogwarts Express, Unknown Location, September 1 st 1971** _

" _Does it make a difference, being muggleborn?_ "

An uncomfortable silence filled the carriage then, no-one knowing exactly what to say. James and Sirius shifted awkwardly, neither wanting to inform the young, carefree witch of the prejudice she would face in their society. Remus wouldn't meet anyone's eyes, doubtless thinking of the prejudice that he had faced so often in his own short life. Hermione was frozen, she knew _precisely_ how cruel life could be for a bright muggleborn witch like Lily. She subconsciously scratched her left arm, a ghost of a memory of a never-there scar and unimaginable pain flooding her senses. She struggled to regain control of her senses, only to hear her brother's gentle response.

" _No. It doesn't make any difference._ "

Hermione sighed, knowing that the hard truth would serve better than the comforting lie in this situation.

“Not to anyone _decent_.” she corrected, “Not to anyone here, or to anyone who loves you. But it does matter to some people. Some people in the wizarding world will look down on you because your parents aren't magical. They'll think that you are less than they are. They'll try to make you think it too. _Don't let them.”_

Lily nodded at her friend determinedly, eyes fierce and hard despite the tears filling them.

Remus looked at the witch beside him with an expression filled with curiosity and uncertainty.

James and Sirius appeared to agree wholeheartedly, nodding vigorously.

“Hermione's right Lily. And be warned, Slytherin are the worst of them. Don't get me wrong, though they're not _all_ bad. My big brother Ceph is in Slytherin just going into his second year, and my cousins Andy and Cissa are there too but they're older. I'll probably end up there too.”

He finished this part with a gloomy air. Sev just snorted disbelievingly.

“Yeah I know, I don't see it either. Not like I have a choice though, my whole family have been in the snake pit.”

“There's _always_ a choice.” protested Hermione earnestly “ I think we should all make a promise. We choose to be our own people, we choose our friends and we choose to look after each other, no matter where we end up. Deal?”

She looked at the group of kids around her and thought of what their futures could have been, and as the images filled her once more, she felt a desperate clawing at her chest and an itch in her soul. She needed them all to look out for each other, more than she needed to breathe.

She thought of her brother, bullied and broken and pushed ever further towards the darkness. Of Sirius, haunted and alone, disowned and disenfranchised. Of James and Lily, their courage and optimism buying them nothing but an early grave and an orphaned son. They needed each other to get through this. She could see this more clearly than anything she had before.

“Deal” Sirius said immediately, looking immensely serious and yet infinitely more cheerful at the prospect of unconditional friendship.

James and Lily were the next to agree, grinning excitedly at their other friends.

“Remus?” she asked gently, nudging the boy's knee with her own.

She could see him warring within himself, his bright eyes filled with desperate yearning despite his obvious fear that someone would discover his secret. It made Hermione's heart hurt. He looked so vulnerable and so very, very young in that moment. Not yet the battle hardened, more guarded but equally insecure man she had once come to know, in this moment he was clearly a scared boy in dire need of a friend.

His longing must have outweighed his fears in the end because after not a minute had passed he quietly accepted the hand offered to him.

“And you Sev?” She asked, a dangerous look in her eyes threatening foul vengeance should he not immediately offer his agreement.

He raised his eyebrow, and responded in a bored sounding voice.

“Agreed, I suppose” he immediately returned to his potions textbook that had been previously abandoned as if no conversation had ever occurred.

No matter how much he liked to feign disinterest, Hermione saw the brief smirk pass over his face. Judging by the amused grin that Lily had flashed her when their eyes met, she had too.

Hermione beamed like a lunatic at the five others in the carriage as they went back to their previous lively debates or quiet reading, feeling something significant shift in the air.

Everything had already started to change, she only hoped it was for the better.

**_Hogwarts, Scotland, September 1_ _st_ _1971_ **

“Black, Sirius”

Cepheus perked up at this. He was excited to see his younger brother get sorted, although a bit put out that they wouldn't get to be in the same house. He had thought about asking the hat to sort him into Gryffindor again this time around, but that would just be foolish sentiment. Not exactly his style. Not in this life anyway. It was vitally important that he continue to play his part as the perfect Black heir until that time was right. So for now he would just watch, content knowing that his wildest younger brother would be living in a place where he could find real friendship.

Not that he himself hadn't found any real friends in his new house. Of course there was Andy and Cissa always looking out for him, the latter in fact seemed to enjoy his company, preferring it to the vacuous prattling of her dorm mates about the various applications for Hair-Thickening charms and how to apply a Colouring Charm to your toenails.

Quite unexpectedly though, he had found a kindred spirit in the form of Pandora Greengrass. She was a rake-thin, freckled girl who wore spectacles too big for her face and stood almost a head shorter than him. She had waist-length, dirty blonde hair and massive blue eyes that sparkled with intelligence. She had a tendency to be blunt that most people found jarring, but he personally found endearing. It reminded him so much of her daughter in another life, Luna. Thinking about her had once made his insides twist with guilt and his heart echo with the hollow sting of loss. Now, it was as though he had gotten a piece of his friend back, and served as a reminder of what he was here to do. He had to make sure that the future he had come from would never come to pass.

He just wished he had Hermione here to help him, he was all instinct and action. She was cool logic and brilliant insight. He often wondered where his friend had ended up and how he would even know when she did. He looked vastly different this time, how would they recognise each other if she did too?

“GRYFFINDOR” the hat bellowed suddenly

Cepheus looked back towards his younger brother who was rooted to the spot, face paling in shock, this made him laugh out loud in a most undignified manner, making a few of his housemates stare at him strangely. As if he would end up anywhere else.

Sirius turned towards his older brother, clearly unsure of his response. Ceph simply smiled at him encouragingly and clapped lightly, signalling his approval. Sirius grinned nervously, only a little reassured, and ran off to join his house at the opposite side of the hall. Andy looked amused, Cissa worried, but they both clapped for their young cousin just the same.

A young girl with bright red hair tied neatly into two dutch braids, who he learned was a young Amelia Bones, was sorted into Ravenclaw next, the hat barely touching her head. He chuckled as she nodded in a way that seemed to say “and quite right too” before marching confidently to the end of the table to take her rightful place among the eagles.

Cepheus heard another few names amongst the new students that he recognised and paid particular attention to their sorting.

Lily Evans was happily sorted into Gryffindor once more, as was Remus Lupin, apparently to his own great amazement if the look on his face was anything to go by.

Alice Dearborn, a tiny dark haired girl with a kind, round, slightly familiar face was sorted into Hufflepuff.

_Neville's mum!_ He realised to his amazement. He should have expected to see her fairly soon, since he had met Frank Longbottom, a loud and friendly Gryffindor in their shared Charms class last year.

Dorcas Meadowes was sorted into Ravenclaw while Mary McDonald and Marlene McKinnon were the latest additions to Gryffindor house. Marlene had reacted to her sorting by punching the air excitedly and heading for her table at a full on sprint before skidding to a stop next to Lily and Mary. Cepheus could practically feel the exasperation coming off of Professor McGonagall in waves.

“They are a rather excitable lot this year aren't they?” mused Pandora, eyes twinkling with amusement.

“You don't know the half of it” he muttered darkly under his breath.

“You're always saying strange things like that Ceph, as if you know something we don't” Pandora responded lightly, although he could hear the laughter in her tone.

“Fine, keep your secrets Harry Potter” she whispered in his ear teasingly. Cepheus choked on his pumpkin juice at that. She had always seemed to know more than she should, but had never confirmed it until now. He started to feel the panic settle into in psyche, so much so that he managed to miss the newest Slytherin get sorted.

“Calm down dear” she whispered again, clearly finding his plight hilarious “I won't tell, you're my best friend you idiot.”

That only calmed him a little, he needed to know how she knew. That brought the total number of people to guess his most precious secret up to two. He couldn't afford for it to happen a third time.

Pandora tilted her head and looked at him as though he were the dimmest creature ever to cross her path. “You were once friends with my Luna. Or will be. It's all very confusing I suppose”

“Yes” he responded simply, still not seeing what he was missing.

“Then you knew of her gifts?” she asked slowly, voice still barely above a whisper.

Cepheus' eyes widened comically then. Of course Luna had to get her Sight from somewhere. He breathed a deep sigh of relief as she nodded in satisfaction.

She leaned away from him then, continuing her previous train of thought with barely a bat of an eyelash.

“I think this group are going to be rather special you know” she stated dreamily, watching the sorting once more.

Harry couldn't help but agree. He noticed Cissa staring between the two of them with a knowing smirk on her face.

_Oh Sweet Merlin! She thinks I_ fancy _Pan._

He blushed at the thought, turning her smirk into a full blown smile. He turned away, resolutely avoiding her gaze as he returned his attention to the sorting.

Peter Pettigrew was sorted into Gryffindor, making his blood run cold. He vowed to use every single one of his well trained manipulation tactics to disrupt any friendship he might try to form with the other boys he knew as the Marauders.

James Potter looked perfectly relaxed as he strutted over to join his friends at the lion's table, smile on his face and hands in his pockets. _So apparently my dad absolutely did strut_ he thought wryly, remembering his argument with Snape in his original third year on that very topic.

“Snape, Hermione”

He froze then. _Hermione? Hermione SNAPE? Surely not._

He stared unblinkingly at the girl currently making her way to the stool that held the sorting hat. She was unmistakeably his best friend. Granted, her hair was darker, and more curly than bushy. Her teeth didn't stick out like they had the first time she arrived at Hogwarts, He thought she might have been slightly paler as well. She had changed slightly, but it was definitely her. He could've cried with the relief of seeing her again. He wasn't sure that he ever would and now she was here.

He wanted to run to her, to tell her everything and hug her tight, and tell her how much he had missed her. He had never hated being in Slytherin so much until that moment, now he would have to wait to speak to her until he could find an opportunity to speak to her in private, because he doubted that he would find Hermione in his house in any lifetime.

“GRYFFINDOR”

Cepheus beamed, a lion in any lifetime like he knew she was. He was also glad that she would be there to look out for Sirius and keep an eye on Pettigrew. He felt a brief flicker of envy at the thought that she would likely become friends with his first set of parents, but dismissed it just as quickly as it arrived and instead focused on his elation at having his friend back. She walked calmly away from the stage, looking pleased with herself.

Severus Snape was the next to be called, and Cepheus marvelled at the strangeness of seeing the man younger than he was. Although he had apparently perfected his air of disinterest from an early age, looking calm and collected as he approached the stool, the bitter sneer was not yet permanently etched into his features as it had been.

The hat appeared to take a long time to decide upon a house for the boy, which was surprising given what he remembered from the memories he had seen of the event in his previous timeline.

“RAVENCLAW” the hat finally bellowed. Snape looked momentarily disappointed, before turning his gaze to his sister and best friend, and nodding in satisfaction.

_Well that was surprising to say the least._ What had happened to change Snape so significantly that he was no longer a Slytherin. Cepheus hoped that Hermione could fill him in when they got a chance to talk

Lost in his pondering, he glanced across the hall to the girl in question and was surprised to find her staring intensely at him. He met her gaze intentionally and she gasped and looked at him questioningly. He nodded slightly, confirming her suspicions. Her expression quickly transformed into one of pure joy, a bright smile lingering on her face as she turned back to face Remus and tried to coax the shy boy into conversation as the feast began in earnest.

As Cepheus lay in his four poster bed that night, he felt happier than he had in a long time. He loved his family, but constantly having to hide such a huge part of himself from the world was exhausting, and now he had his best friend back. The person who he could be completely himself with no barriers or restrictions. His world finally felt whole again. He smiled as he drifted off to sleep, comforted by the prospect of getting to see her again tomorrow.

**Hogwarts, Scotland, September 2 nd 1971**

Ravenclaw, Hermione mused, was the perfect house for her brother. For all that he had the potential to be brave beyond imagining, he would never fit in with the rowdy Gryffindors. He was not cruel, but his waspish demeanour would make him an outcast amongst the badgers. Ravenclaw though, was the perfect place for his quick wit. His housemates would neither let him away with his snide comments or ridicule him for his academic pursuits. She truly felt that he would find a home in his new environment. Best of all though, no-one would blink twice over his friendship with Lily. He would not have to live with people who would make his life miserable for his choice in companions.

Hermione suspected this was why he chose Ravenclaw in the first place, he had decided to honour the promise he made and put his friendship before his own ambition and she couldn't have been prouder of him than at that moment. She had rushed off early the morning after the sorting to send letters off to Mother and Tuney to announce the news. She didn't think her mother would be disappointed that neither of her children had ended up in her old house, she had always encouraged them to be whoever they wanted to be.

She arrived at breakfast just as the mail was being delivered. She saw a depressingly familiar red envelope land in front of Sirius, who had gone grey at the sight of it. It started to smoke the longer it sat unopened, and eventually burst open with a shriek all too familiar to Hermione.

She felt the anger bubble up within her then, she remembered all of the vile, hateful things she had heard the woman spew at her son even beyond the grave by way of her portrait. If she never heard the voice of Walburga Black again, it would be too soon.

“IDIOT CHILD! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A WASTE AND A DISAPPOINTMENT! A DISGRACE TO THE HOUSE OF-”

The howler never got to deliver the rest of its verbal assault, as Hermione had promptly set it on fire, much to the awe of its intended recipient.

“Hermione, that was bloody brilliant!” laughed James from beside his friend. Obviously his opinion of Mrs. Black wasn't any more favourable than hers.

“Thanks, that was great. Wish I could shut her up as well in real life” Sirius muttered, somehow managing to look simultaneously grateful for her actions and annoyed that they were necessary.

“That was horrible” Lily said quietly, rarely having ever heard her own parents even raise their voices before, never mind having their ire directed towards her.

“That was nothing, wait until you hear the one my mum sends me when she finds out I plan on trying out for the Quidditch team next year. Right harpy that one.” interjected Marlene, wiggling her eyebrows comically, trying to lighten the mood of the rest of the group.

It seemed to work as Sirius let out a scoff. “You McKinnon? I'd love to see you try” he stared at her disbelievingly at the tiny girl who looked like a strong wind might blow her over.

Marlene glared at him. “Yeah. Me. I'm a Beater and I have a mean swing so watch your tongue” she snapped angrily, stomping her foot and looking about as menacing as a kneazle kitten.

This just made him laugh. Loudly. He didn't notice the little witch approach him as the tears of mirth rolled down his cheeks. She drew her arm back and promptly cracked him one right on his nose. Sirius howled in pain and held his bloody nose, looking at his attacker in shock.

She stood in front of him, hands on hips, unrepentant.

“You're an absolute arse Sirius Black, see if I ever try to cheer you up again” She then flounced away, throwing her hair over her shoulder as she went to meet McGonagall who was clearly heading down the hall to hand out her punishment.

“Making friends already I see brother” came a sarcastic voice from behind the group.

“Shut up Ceph and fix it for me will you” he said in a muffled voice.

“ _Episkey._ Sorry about the letter, I just heard. I'll be writing to mother to smooth it all over, don't worry. I'll say something about making connections and valuable inside sources, she'll eat it up.” Sirius shrugged casually at his brothers reassurances, but Hermione thought he seemed a little more upbeat than he had before.

“Thanks. Let me introduce you to everyone. This is James, and Remus and Lily and Hermione. The little one who clocked me was Marlene. We have another friend Severus, he's Hermione's brother but he's in Ravenclaw.” Hermione smiled politely, but inside she was jumping for joy to see him again, and she could see in his familiar green eyes that he was too.

She was startled by the changes in her old friend's appearance, and was glad that she could still see the boy she knew buried beneath the much neater and much longer dark hair and high cheekbones. He was also a lot taller and less skinny that she had ever known him to be. Harry in her previous life had always looked slightly underfed, it warmed her to know that in this life, at least, he was healthy and well looked after and, apparently, valued as a son. She couldn't wait to speak to him again, and vowed to find a moment alone with him as soon as she could.

“Nice to meet you all” He nodded with a genuine smile “But if you excuse me, it appears that I have a letter to write.”

They all waved their farewells and returned to their breakfasts while they waited for the timetables for the year to be handed out.

James immediately began teasing Sirius for getting smacked, re-enacting the event in an overly exaggerated manner, with Remus playing the part of Marlene and James squealing in a high pitched shriek as Sirius rolled his eyes and grabbed a piece of toast. Lily was gossiping excitedly with Mary over a personality quiz from _Witch Weekly_ the girls in their dorm had all taken the night before. She glanced over to see that even Sev was chatting amicably with a blonde girl at his table, gesturing to the text before him. She hummed contentedly as she fixed herself a cup of tea, milk with one sugar. This was how life should always be, filled with hope and promise, and friendship. And maybe it would be, after all not two minutes ago she had heard Sirius Black refer to Severus Snape as a friend and _mean it_. If that could happen, anything was possible.

**That's all for this one. Getting much closer to the reunion we have been waiting for. We should see that next chapter and then after that we will just see short snippets of their first few years to get the story moving ahead a bit. As always, let me know what you all think, and a big thank you to everyone who has already followed, favourited or reviewed so far. You guys rock.**

**Thanks so much for reading** ,

**Til next time,**

**SJ**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Reunion

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment ***

**Hogwarts, Scotland, September 4 th 1971**

Cepheus awoke suddenly, a sharp pain shooting through him from some unknown source. He shot up, blinking the last remnants of sleep from his eyes as he tried to source the pain. It took him around five seconds to trace it back to his wrist, where an enchanted galleon hung from a thin leather strap. It was designed to heat up gradually until the intended recipient tapped it twice to acknowledge the message.

_RoR. Lunch. 1pm?_

His smile split into a ridiculous grin. He would finally get to speak to Hermione today. It was the first day without classes, and they'd barely had a chance to see each other let alone speak. She had barely managed to slip him the coin at dinner yesterday.

She had bumped into him on her way out of the Great Hall after dinner, before apologizing profusely. He waved it off politely, _ever the pureblood gentleman,_ he thought wryly.

“No, really, I must remember to watch where I am going. Sev says I often have my head stuck in the clouds”

Harry chuckled lightly, all the while catching the look in her eyes. _Pay attention, I'm trying to tell you something,_ they seemed to say. He followed their path as she looked down and patted her pocket. His eyes widened slightly as he casually put his hand in his own trouser pocket, feeling something cold, and round. She nodded imperceptibly.

“Either way Miss Snape, you're apology is most assuredly accepted.”

“Hermione”

“Cepheus”

“Alright then”

They both smiled lightly before continuing on their way as if nothing had ever happened.

Ceph was pleased to find that the coin had been attached to the leather strap, as it made it much more difficult to lose. Although it had been intended as a necklace, he didn't care for the style and had wrapped the leather twice around his wrist to make the bracelet .

He tapped the gold coin twice to stop the incessant burning, and tapped out his reply.

_Of course. See you then._

The reply was more casual than he felt. His very blood fizzed with excitement. He felt like if he were to step off of the Astronomy Tower right at this moment, the sheer number of happy butterflies dancing a jig on his insides would keep him afloat.

Sometimes, these past few years he had imagined that he was going mad. None of this had really happened. The weight of loss was too heavy to bear and his already fragile mind had finally snapped under it. A few times he had told himself that it was okay if that was true, that here in his imagined world was better than the outside. But then Sirius would bark out a laugh, Reg would shuffle excitedly, his mother would stroke his hair affectionately and Pan would lecture him enthusiastically about the beneficial properties of gnome saliva. He knew this had to be real. It _had to._ The only thing that had always been missing was Hermione.

It had only been the two of them for so long. She was the only family he had left and they had clung desperately to each other. Until they couldn't anymore. Even before he had gotten his memories back he had always had the distinct feeling that he was forgetting something. Like the feeling you get when you walk into a room and can't for the life of you remember what you came in for. And then he did.

He had been panicked upon realising that he had no idea where or when or even _who_ she could be. If she had even made it back at all. This anxiety had clawed at the back of his mind ever since, stuck to his insides and making him ill if he thought about it too much.

Until the welcoming feast. Relief and joy washed over him. It was like sunrise, freeing his mind and his heart, letting it bask in the warmth, finally able to rejoice. He had his whole family again.

_And he would get to see her today!_

**Hogwarts, Scotland, September 4th 1971**

Hermione smiled as she read Harry's reply. _Cepheus' reply_ she reminded herself firmly. Merlin that would take some getting used to. She was just as excited to see her best friend as he was, but it was tinged with nerves. What if he didn't need her anymore? What if things weren't the same any more? What if, what if what if.

She shook herself determinedly, returning to her breakfast of toast and scrambled eggs. Of course he would still need her, they always needed each other, they were family.

“Hermione, are you alright?” She turned her head to see a concerned look in Remus' eyes. She smiled softly at that. He was always so thoughtful, and infinitely caring. She had always admired that. How he faced a world that showed him nothing but judgement and contempt, and gave it nothing but kindness in return. Even to those who don't deserve it. She thought back to their first Charms class yesterday, and how he had stopped Alecto Carrow from picking on Peter.

“ _And I suppose that you are some sort of Charms prodigy Alecto? Casting cheering charms from the cradle?” He asked casually, but Hermione could hear the steel in his tone._

“ _Better than the Squib over there, anyway” She shot back nastily, small black eyes squinting._

“ _Then by all mean, wow us all with your prowess” He waved his hand at her, raising his eyebrow in challenge._

“ _Fine.” she replied haughtily “Wingardium Leviosa.” She smiled smugly as her feather rose from the desk, but her victory was short lived, as it promptly exploded, small sections of charred feather blowing everywhere._

“ _Hm, not very impressive” Remus said dispassionately, while keeping his own feather perfectly afloat.”Perhaps instead of wasting your time criticising others' work, your time would be better spent practicing your own.”_

_He then proceeded to ignore her for the rest of the class. Hermione chuckled as she spoke to him quietly._

“ _You know, that's that most I've ever heard you talk at once. That was a nice thing you did for Peter.”_

_He blushed slightly, before shrugging in an unconvincingly nonchalant manner._

“ _I don't like bullies.”_

_She nodded at him in understanding, her mind going immediately to her father. She didn't like them either._

James and Sirius had been ecstatic to hear about the exchange of course, and had recounted it to anyone and everyone who would listen. Much to Remus' embarrassment and Severus' amusement.

“I'm fine Remus, I promise. Just a little tired, I was up late researching my essay for Transfiguration.”

“Well, colour me surprised” Sev muttered in amusement from the seat opposite.

“Shut up Sev, no one asked you” she shot back, which just made his smirk more prominent.

“ _Anyway,_ I think I'm ready to start writing it now, I'm going to the library after this to get started. Would any of you like to join me?”

“That essay isn't due until Thursday. It's the weekend Hermione, live a little” James replied, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah count me out too” Sirius added between mouthfuls of sausage.

“I'll come with you” Remus offered. She beamed at him.

“At least _one_ of you takes your studies seriously, Thank you Remus.” He just blushed again in response.

“Oh yes well done Remus, you're so wonderful and smart, I just love youuuuuu” Lily mocked from beside Sev, who was now trying to suppress a giggle at the redhead's antics.

“Shut up Lily, no one asked you either” Hermione said with a laugh. Despite her teasing, Lily quickly agreed to come along to the library, along with Sev who went over to the table to invite his new friends Dorcas and Emmeline to join them as well.

They all headed towards the library together, Hermione's worries for her meeting later that afternoon forgotten.

**Hogwarts, Scotland, September 4 th 1971**

Cepheus entered the Room of Requirement carefully, checking that no one was nearby to see first. It was times like these that he desperately missed his invisibility cloak. He opened the door to find an exact replica of the Gryffindor common room, and felt instantly at home.

And there, on her favourite squashy armchair by the fire, was Hermione. She stared at him uncertainly, questioning look in her eyes.

She stood up as he ran over to her as quickly as he could manage, before gathering her up in his arms in a bone-crushing hug that would make Molly Weasley jealous. Somehow before either of them knew it they were laughing and sobbing and mumbling nonsense to each other.

“You're here”

“I missed you”

“I have so much to tell you about-”

“I have a family, and they're-”

“Still can't get used to having enough to _eat_ and-”

“God I know, and _showers Hermione!_ I could've cried the first-”

Neither of them could finish a sentence, and eventually they gave up trying. It was a long time before they felt able to let go of each other, so they stood, clinging to each other and crying until there were no more tears.

Hermione was made up of relief, joy, grief and memory, all held together by the tape and glue that were Harry's arms in that moment. This is what she had been waiting for since her memories had returned to her.

Eventually, after they had sat down on the big sofa opposite the fireplace, Harry spoke.

“So, Snape's your brother?” He tried to keep a straight face, but Hermione could hear the mirth behind his words.

“Well, Sirius is yours” she huffed childishly, before crossing her arms defensively.

“I didn't say anything”

“I know what you're thinking _Cepheus”_

“Why'd you say my name like that?”

“Because its ridiculous”

“Oh coming from you, _Hermione._ Not exactly conventional is it _”_

“It's perfectly reasonable, and if you ever read you would know that.”

“What about Severus?”

“What about it?”

Harry looked at her pointedly, and she burst into a fit of giggles. He quickly joined her.

“Okay, it's ridiculous I know. But he is my brother now Harry, just as much as you are. Just as much as Sirius and Regulus are to you, so please, try to be kind okay?”

Once upon a time, he might have protested at that, but his mind immediately turned to his own parents, and to Cissa and his grandfather. People could surprise you, he knew that now. Besides, Snape was very brave in his previous life, even if he was a horrible bastard until the day he died.

“Okay I will, I promise. So, tell me about your life Hermione.”

So she did. She told him of her mother's softness and her father's cruelty. She told him of how Gladys came into her life and how she and Sev looked after each other. She told him of Petunia's strength and quiet kindness, of Lily's sunny disposition and endearing naivety. She told him of empty stomachs and not enough jumpers to keep out the cold and her first bout of accidental magic and how her memories had come back to her. It all came tumbling out of her in uncontrollable waves. She had never been able to keep anything from him

Harry had cried with her when she talked about the worst birthday she'd ever had. He stroked her hair and held her hands so tight she was afraid they'd soon lose all feeling.

“We came back here to make things better, and this is what you're given. While I lay in a comfy bed, warm safe, you were suffering. _It isn't right”_ Harry stood up, fists clenched, expression filled with anger and guilt. It was one she knew well, she had seen it upon his face too many times after they came back from a mission with less people than they had left with. She refused to see it now over her.

“Harry. _Ceph. Stop._ This isn't like what you had growing up. I am loved, I have friends and family. Hardship too, yes. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. And even if that wasn't the case, it wouldn't be your fault. The ritual put us where we needed to be, that's the end of it. “

She grabbed his arm and pulled him back down beside her before continuing, and he quickly took her hand again.

“I am grateful every day that I am here, even the bad ones, because that means that we have a chance to fix everything. We have options, and time and hope. We get to look at Sirius and Remus and decide that we're not going to let it all happen again. We get to take it all back.”

He was smiling now, through tears. If she could see herself she knew that her expression would mirror his perfectly.

“Hope” he said softly, “I missed it”

She let out a watery chuckle.

“Me too. Now tell me about your life?”

And so he did.

**A/N: So what did you guys think? I'm sorry it's a bit shorter than usual, but this just felt like a natural ending point. Don't worry, more interaction in the next chapter where they talk a bit more about future plans but I wanted to leave their reunion on its own.**

**Thanks so much for reading** ,

**Til next time,**

**SJ**


	6. I Know You

Chapter 6: I Know You

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment ***

**Hogwarts, Scotland, October 27 th 1971**

Her first few months at Hogwarts flew past at breakneck speed. Classes were almost negligible this time around, so she found herself far more relaxed than she ever had before, and with an abundance of free time. Not that she let her classwork or essays be anything but exemplary, of course. The lack of challenging material might have been frustrating if not for the other major difference from her original first year – she had friends. Lots of them in fact, it wasn't just their group of six from their train. She also found herself spending a lot of time with Mary and Marlene, the other girls in her dorm. They were girly, and silly, but also kind and funny and sweet. Marlene especially reminded her a little bit of Ginny. She was fierce and headstrong, not to mention her feud with Sirius provided endless hours of amusement for the whole of Gryffindor house.

So far she had punched him in the face three times, he had turned her hair green twice and she had called him an insufferable twat too many times to count.

She had also been spending a lot of time with Dorcas Meadowes and Emmeline Vance. Hermione, along with Sev, Lily and Remus had formed something of a study group with the two Ravenclaws. Dorcas was a quirky girl with dark skin and deep brown eyes. Her wild curls framed her face like a wiry halo. She had a quick wit and a sharp tongue, her cutting remarks putting even Sev to shame when she was trifled with. She could discuss Magical Theory and politics remarkably well for a first year, and would be first in the year if it weren't for Hermione. She was also very creative and enjoyed making her own jewellery by hand. She had given Hermione a beautiful bracelet of beads and twine in shades of purple for her assistance with an especially difficult Potions essay. Emmeline Vance was a brilliant brunette with an easy laugh and sparkling blue eyes. She was a head taller than most of her yearmates, but thin, giving her the gangly look of adolescence. She was not particularly studious, but her best friends were Sev and Dorcas, so she found herself joining their little group lest she be left on her own.

And then there was Cepheus and Pandora. Hermione found herself unable to find anything to dislike about the blonde that had become such a good friend to Harry in her stead. Much like her future daughter, her personal brand of blunt honesty was refreshing, as was the ability to be fully herself, as Ceph had informed her that she had already figured out their biggest secret. Although she could not find a good excuse to see them throughout the week, Saturday lunches were reserved for the three of them. Pandora served well as a sounding board for their planning sessions, she had a way of cutting right to the heart of the matter and finding a middle ground when Hermione and Ceph found an issue on which they could not agree. Of these, there were many.

“ _No absolutely not Harry! I will not ask that of him again, how could you even suggest-”_

“ _Well how else are we supposed to figure out-”_

“ _Cepheus” Pandora interrupted sharply “Think of what it is you are asking. Will you ask it of Regulus?”_

_He recoiled at that, panic robbing his face of all colour. “Of course not. He can't. I won't let him.” This was said with a firm tone and an air of finality._

“ _Then how can you ask the same of Severus? It is quite hypocritical of you, you know” she responded lightly. Harry knew that she was right, they couldn't ask him to become a Death Eater this time around. They couldn't ask anyone to do that for the sake of information. It was too high a price to pay._

“ _Okay I see your point, I am sorry Hermione. But the point remains, we do need a spy. We don't know how or when Voldemort will give the diary to Malfoy, and we don't have a way in.”_

_Hermione knew this, she had been trying to think of a way around it for weeks but had thus far been unsuccessful._

“ _Isn't Narcissa marrying him? You could have a look around when you pay them a visit?”_

“ _Yeah, I suppose” Harry mumbled, looking downright depressed at this. He loved his big cousin dearly and Malfoy was just as big a git now as when they had known him before, Bigger even, teenage arrogance was decidedly_ not _a good colour on him. The thought of Cissa getting married to that prat and becoming the cold, unfeeling woman from his memories made his stomach churn uncomfortably._

“ _Narcissa and Lucius? Hm, no that doesn't make any sense” Pandora added, a puzzled look on her face._

“ _Really. Why not?” Harry looked up hopefully._

“ _I just have a feeling. Your presence here has already changed so much, and I sense that they are no longer destined to be together.” She said this in a dreamy tone, faraway look in her eyes._

“ _Oh, I see” Hermione said dubiously, although it was clear that she didn't see at all._

_Harry just looked at her uncertainly._

“ _Oh your faces!... I was just surprised because I saw her and Kingsley Shacklebolt snogging behind the tapestry of Wendelin the Weird last Friday.” she burst out laughing at her own joke, doubling up and holding her sides as she laughed until tears ran down her cheeks._

_Hermione quickly joined in on the laughter, while Harry just stared at the two as if they had lost their minds._

“ _Cissa and Kingsley? Well that's new” he mused, equal parts disgusted at the thought of his cousin snogging anyone and pleased that it wasn't Malfoy._

“ _We don't know that Ceph,” Hermione interjected, trying again to remember to use his new name “ This might have happened before. But just in case it didn't, keep your ear out over the next few years in case you hear about anyone getting in too deep who might want out. Maybe we can save someone else and still have our spy”_

“ _That does sound reasonable” Pandora nodded._

_Harry sighed, he had always hated recon missions, preferring immediate action to the 'wait and see' approach, but it was the best plan they had for now. “Okay, I will.”_

That had been the first issue of many they had disagreed on. One thing they had universally agreed upon though was occlumency. They needed to learn it as soon as they were able, and had each taken to meditating every night before bed, to help them clear their minds. It was all they could do until Ceph could get lessons from his grandfather over the summer, and then relay them to Hermione the following September. In all honesty, it was very relaxing, and Hermione was finding that sleep came to her far more easily than it had before.

So, despite the ease of her lessons, she was definitely not bored. There was always something to do, like now, as she and Remus were sitting at the table by the window in the common room, trying to talk Sirius and James out of pranking the Slytherins at the Halloween feast.

“But it will be so funny. C'mon Hermione, help us out. What about you, you'll help us won't you Remus?” Sirius was on his knees begging, in an over-the-top display as per usual.

“First of all, its not funny its boring and unoriginal, you turned Marlene's hair green twice already, turning the Slytherins' hair red is dull and it's beneath you” Hermione drawled, and James gasped, clutching his chest.

“Unoriginal? Us? You wound us good lady, I'll have you kno-” He began with a purposely pompous air.

“ _And second of all”_ she continued over his mocking reply “ Neither of you know how to properly brew the potion, and neither of us are going to do it for you. Are we Remus?”

She shot him a warning glare over her shoulder, promising him pain if he did.

“Of course not, that would be reckless, and immature and irresponsible” he agreed solemnly, mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

“Oh that's convincing” she snapped, huffing in a petulant manner.

“Oh come on, you know they'll try to do it anyways, and if you leave those two alone with a cauldron the castle is likely to blow up.” He cajoled, head tilted slightly to the side, a rare boyish grin spread across his face.

It was that, more than anything that convinced her. He was rarely this willing to get into trouble, too worried to betray the Headmaster's generosity. _Education as a generosity. Ha!_ Hermione had always thought that education should be a right for all children, but could see how precious a gift it was to a boy who thought he would never get the opportunity. She hoped that this new penchant for mischief making was a sign that he was finally accepting his place among them.

“Alright, fine! But I want to make some adjustments, you boys are amateurs” James and Sirius whooped in celebration, as she huffed again, and pulled a spare notebook and quill out of her backpack.

“Thank you Hermione, we'd be lost without you!” James exclaimed gratefully.

“Indeed we would” Remus responded quietly, meeting her eyes with a shy smile.

It was Hermione's turn to blush this time.

**Hogwarts, Scotland, October 31 st 1971**

In the end 'some adjustments' had meant changing the plan altogether, and the results were spectacular. Cepheus laughed uproariously as he floated aimlessly around the Great Hall, trying to grab Pandora's hand as they passed each other. He didn't quite manage, falling just short, and the two passed each other like two ships in the night. Pandora giggled and started miming swimming through the stars in the enchanted ceiling, a ridiculous looking backstroke that had many others around them stare at her strangely.

Hermione's Anti-Gravity Elixir was a stroke of brilliance, based on an idea she had gotten from one of her favourite childhood stories. She had reverse-engineered what she could remember from watching Fred and George Weasley create their hats, and recruited Severus to covert it to allow it to work within the body. He had been less than pleased when he discovered the intended purpose, but the draw of a new potions challenge was too much to resist, just as his sneaky twin had no doubt intended. James and Sirius had been responsible for distribution, James chatting with the house elves while Sirius sneaked into the kitchens under the invisibility cloak to spike the massive vat of pumpkin juice that was supplied at meals.

It truly was a prank to be remembered. And best of all, she had convinced the boys that a school-wide trick was the only proper way to be inducted into the Hogwarts Hall of Fame, so the Slytherins were not singled out or humiliated. The effects lasted about half an hour, slowly wearing off until each student was deposited firmly and safely on the ground.

“Well, after such a marvellous display I think we must all be quite ready for bed, Goodnight everyone. Let us hope that every meal is just as interesting, albeit less taxing on the digestive system.”

Hermione looked around the hall at Dumbledore's announcement and noticed several people who did in fact look a little green. She felt a twinge of guilt at that, but it soon eased when she caught Remus' eye from his seat across from her and noticed a massive smile plastered across his face. It was the most open and joyful she had ever seen him look. He looked every inch the carefree eleven year old boy that he was, and she couldn't bring herself to regret anything that made him look so happy.

“Better than a colour-change charm?” she asked him quietly, wry smile on her face.

“Definitely” he grinned “you're a genius Hermione!”

She blushed again at the compliment. Lily coughed from beside her in a poorly concealed laugh.

“What?” Hermione asked sharply, trying to sound annoyed.

“Oh nothing” Lily answered airily, and waited until Remus had turned around to speak with Sirius before continuing “it's just that I've called you a genius at least a dozen times and you've never blushed like a tomato then.”

Hermione tried to project an air of nonchalance as she answered “well, maybe I just like him more than I like you”

“I'm sure you do” she agreed, smug smile firmly in place.

**Hogwarts, Scotland, November 3 rd 1971**

He awoke with a loud groan, reaching beside him for the small green bottle of pain potion he knew would be there waiting for him. Hermione looked him over in the early morning sunshine and wanted to cry. He had small, deep scratches all over his neck and chest, giant angry bruises showed all over his torso where the blankets had fallen down. His hair was matted with sweat and dark circles under his eyes only exaggerated the pallor of his sickly-looking skin.

She steadied herself, she knew how much he hated pity, and vowed to pull herself together before he realised she was there. She gathered her thoughts as he slowly came to, potion slowly dulling the sharp stings to a steady ache.

“H-Hermione, what are you doing here?” he asked, eyes suddenly wide with panic, voice scratchy and hoarse. Even his _voice_ sounded painful.

“I thought I would come and sit with you a while before class, it can't be fun to go through your recovery alone. Madame Pomfrey said it was okay as long as you said it was alright.”

He looked at her incredulously, mouth opening and closing like a cartoon fish. If he didn't look so miserable she would have laughed.

“It's okay Remus, I know that you're a werewolf.” He flinched, looking around frantically in case they were overheard.

“We're alone, I checked before I sat down” she said soothingly, although this seemed to do nothing to allay the young boy's fears.

“Right, well. You know then. Get it over with.” he scowled, although she could see the tears gathering in his eyes.

“Get what over with? What are you expecting me to say? That I don't want to be our friend any more?”

“Well, why would you? I'm a monster” he spat angrily, shame burning in his eyes.

“Stop it Remus” Hermione said softly “I know that you're smarter than that. Just because you turn into a wolf once a month doesn't change who you are. You're my friend, who loves chocolate, hates potions and actually pays attention in Binns' boring lectures. You know how I take my tea, and stick up for annoying little twerps like Pettigrew even when they don't deserve it. You always wear your red wooly jumper when you're homesick and you can convince me to do just about anything when you try. _I know you_ Remus Lupin. I know who you are, you're my friend and I love you. No stupid cursed bite can change that.”

Remus looked floored, tears filling his eyes once more. He looked like he didn't know what to say. Instead, he reached over and grabbed her into a hug as tight as his wounds allowed.

They sat just like that for several minutes, embracing as he cried silently and she stroke his back gently, trying to soothe his aching heart by sheer gentle kindness.

“You love me?” he asked in a voice barely above a whisper, scared to hope.

“Of course I do. You're my best friend” she said simply, shrugging as he pulled away from her.

He smiled then. A slow, beautiful smile that lit up his face and her whole world. She stared at that smile, storing it away in her mind for a day when she needed some sunshine.

“Well then, do you love me enough to share that chocolate you brought with you?”

She rolled her eyes that. That boy and his love of chocolate.

“I brought it for you, you dolt” she replied, passing the whole bar to the young werewolf, who grabbed it eagerly and began tearing the wrapper off immediately.

“You sure you don't want any? This is your only chance.” He said jokingly, only half kidding.

“Don't worry Remus, I won't ask you to part with any of your precious chocolatey goodness, fire in”

And he did. Hermione sat back on the armchair next to his bed, and watched the boy devour his treat with glee. She felt a lightness in her heart, glad that she had decided to reveal that she knew his secret. She vowed then and there that he would never be alone after his transformations again. Not even during his transformations in a few years if she could help it. She just needed the boys to hurry up and figure it out for themselves first.

**A/N: SO sorry for the long wait, I've just recently gone back to uni after years away and its been stressful to say the least. Hopefully it was worth the wait! Let me know what you all thought. Thanks for all the kind reviews this story has gotten so far, it really keeps me motivated. We'll probably only have one or two more chapters of first year and then we'll jump ahead a little.**

**Thanks so much for reading** ,

**Til next time,**

**SJ**


	7. Snapshot

Chapter 7: Snapshot

**A/N: Two chapters in two days, shocking I know! I've just been so motivated to write today.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment ***

**Hogwarts, Scotland, December 22 nd 1971**

“Well I still don't see why you have to stay here all alone for the whole of the Christmas break!”

“I have a full moon on the thirty-first Hermione. It's safer for me to just stay here, and besides I don't want to upset my parents. It pains them to see me afterwards and I'd rather spare them that at least.” Remus sighed exasperatedly, with the tired expression of a person having an all too familiar argument for the hundredth time.

“Yes as you've said a million times. And as I've told _you_ a million times, they're your parents, it's their job to worry and fuss. They must miss you, I'm sure they'd rather have you home if they knew you'd be here alone.”

“They wouldn''t.” Remus muttered bitterly, but Hermione just dismissed him with a wave of her hand.

“Even if that's true, it still doesn't explain why you don't want any of us to stay here with you. I can stay, I want to.” Hermione said this with more conviction than she felt.

She was incredibly torn. She truly did want to stay with Remus, he needed her more than her family did at that moment. However, until she had known the sneaky wolf's holiday plans she had been really looking forward to getting home for a couple of weeks to see Mum and Gladys and Tuney. She wanted to hear how Tuney's new school was. Of course they had exchanged letters but it wasn't the same. She wanted to walk around the park with Sev and Lily. She missed Mum's warm hugs and the low buzzing sound that always emitted from the old wireless in the kitchen. She missed the smell of Gladys' home-made ginger snaps that always seemed to permeate the air around her house. She missed _home._

But of course, she would never tell Remus any of this, lest he take on the burden of guilt for even more things he had no responsibility for. Honestly, if she didn't know better she would have said that Remus and Lily had been having an affair and that Harry was the product. The crazy mop of hair and the general knack for troublemaking put paid to any questions of his paternity however.

“You are a great friend Hermione. Thank you, I truly appreciate the offer, you don't know what it means to me. But you have to go home, I know how excited you were to see your mum and I couldn't be the one to keep you from that. Please just go, it would make me happy to know that you're happy and enjoying the holiday.”

Hermione bit her lower lip in thought. Maybe there was a way she could do both. _Yes, a compromise,_ she decided. She would need to talk to the Headmaster unfortunately to make it work, but hopefully such a simple request would not bring her _too_ much attention from the ageing professor.

“Okay, if you're sure” Hermione said hesitantly, hoping that her idea would work out the way she hoped.

“I'm one hundred percent sure, now get upstairs and finish packing so we can head down to breakfast” Remus said cheerily, and if his smile seemed a little too forced, neither of them mentioned it.

“What do you mean _finish packing_. I can't believe you think I would have any packing left to do the day before we have to leave. Honestly, it's like you don't know me at all” She huffed haughtily, flicking her hair over her shoulder in a way that was eerily reminiscent of Fleur Delacour, before flouncing out of the common room clearly expecting her friend to follow her.

He chuckled at that, a real smile on his face once again, and as expected followed his temperamental friend as she exited.

_**Black Family Manor, Abergele, Wales, 24 th December 1971** _

“Well, you've certainly been working on clearing your mind boy, and that's a good start. But not good enough for what you're doing, you'll need to lock your mind up tighter than Gringott's security . We'll be starting some basic shielding exercises this next two weeks. Now, did you read those books I gave you?”

“Yes sir” Cepheus responded immediately, his tone one of polite deference as he had been taught. “I wondered if I might ask you a question though?”

“Well, better be quick about it we don't have much time today” Arcturus answered abruptly.

“Why are you doing this? With all due respect sir, you've been head of the family for a long time now. If you didn't like the path we were going down, why do nothing to stop it? I'm sorry, I'm honestly not trying to be rude but I just don't understand why you need me to turn the family name around.”

Arcturus stared back at his grandson with an intense expression on his face. He looked as though he were warring with himself, struggling to decide whether or not to answer his impertinent question. Appearing to at last come to a decision, he started to speak;

“It's not as simple as all that though is it? Use your head! I didn't become head of the family until late in my life. Your great-grandfather Sirius was a bastard. He believed in the old school pureblood dogma with every breath in his miserable body. He was vicious and controlling and never gave one whit about me or my opinions, only that I obeyed his every command and made the House look good doing it.”

Arcturus had poured himself a generous glass of Firewhiskey and was glaring at it as if he could set it alight with the force of his resentment alone.

“He decided where and if we would work, who we would befriend, who we would marry. There was a girl I loved once, a half-blood from a poor family. Her name was Trina and she was everything to me. But of course my father caught wind of it and demanded that I cast her aside. To my shame, I did what he said. Obedience and duty were all I had known. The following week I was informed that I was to be married to your grandmother.”

Cepheus felt guilty for asking the man to relive what was clearly a painful time in his life, but he had to be certain that he could trust the man to protect his secrets.

Arcturus shook himself free from the memories that he been lost in for a moment and continued his tale;

“Don't get me wrong, your grandmother is a wonderful woman. She helped me through a very dark time in my life, she endured the worst of me and made sure that I came out of the other side whole. We grew into our love, but we were the lucky ones. I stood back and watched as he took away the choices of my brothers and my cousins , my nieces and nephews and even my own children. Poor Orion, married off to his own cousin, he was horrified. Like me though, he was a slave to some pathetic notion of duty and honour. We were all sickened when he married little Cygnus off to nineteen year old Druella Rosier when he was just a boy himself.

I stood back and watched as he brainwashed them all until they were all shared his twisted view of the world. By the time I was in it was far too late. They fell for the hype; hook, line and sinker. We were ruined. I knew that they would all start producing heirs, and that they would make them in their own image, and eventually we would fall. It all seemed so clear to me, as if I could see it all laid out in front of me. No hope. None.

Not until you came along. I've seen what we became in your future, but I also know that you're here to change things for the better. A strong-willed, sharp, forward thinking leader is just what this family needs. You could make us strong again. It's too late for that idiot Bella, and that Merlin-be-damned tattoo she thinks I don't know about. But the rest of you could be great.”

Cepheus didn't know what to say. He was truly honoured that his grandfather believed in him that strongly, but felt the familiar weight of responsibility settle about his shoulders. The Black family legacy was not an easy one to carry.

Arcturus approached his grandson then, and placed a hand on his cheek. He waited until the younger man met his eyes.

“Don't worry so much son, I know you'll do us proud.”

“Thank you grandfather. Your faith will not be mislaid” He nodded seriously, “And I have a request. I feel it is vitally important that you do not let any more of our family be forced into marriages they do not want. It is unfair and unnecessary and it could ruin us all.”

“Agreed. But I can only do so much, you will have to do your part. If any issues should arise, you need to encourage your brothers and cousins to come to me first, make sure they know I will not turn them away.”

Cepheus sighed with relief, at least this time if Cissy ended up married to Lucius it would be because she truly loved him. He couldn't wish for anything more.

“I will, I promise”

“I know you will. Now, back to our lesson, and then we can go through to the dining room and maybe you could sweet talk your grandmother into whipping us up something for lunch.”

**Hogwarts, Scotland, January 1 st 1972**

Remus let out a loud moan, familiar pain making his muscles burn and throb. He had experienced one of his worst transformations to date. The wolf was restless and angry the night before and he'd had an extremely rough night. Not that he remembered most of it.

He reached for his customary pain potion and downed it in one. It took the edge off the pain but he was still exhausted and disheartened. It had been an especially lonely Christmas and now a solitary New Year. It was not without any positives however. He smiled as he thought about the beautifully hand-knitted scarf and matching hat in a pleasant shade of midnight blue that Hermione had sent him for Christmas along with a tin of home-made chocolate fudge. He had received gifts from all of his friends, and he was immensely grateful, but the personal gift from his best friend was his favourite.

“What's making you grin like a loon then? Care to share?”

Remus snapped his head around in surprise at the familiar voice. The object of his thoughts was sitting in the armchair beside him, mischievous smile upon her face.

“Hermione, what are you doing here? How?” He asked in startled glee. She was there beside him once again, he was no longer alone!

“I asked the Headmaster if I could come back early to be with you, he didn't take much convincing really. I don't think he wanted you to be alone either. As to how, I caught the Knight Bus to Hogsmeade and walked the rest of the way”

“You shouldn't have. Thank you, I'm so happy to see you. But you should be with your family” He was so incredibly touched that she would cut her precious time with her family short for his benefit He didn't think he deserved that.

“Don't be silly Remus, they'll get along fine without me. I wanted to be here with you. And besides, remember what we all promised on the train? We all look out for each other. That means you _are_ family now.”

Remus looked overwhelmed at that declaration and pulled her into a tight hug, uncaring of his pain, trying to communicate his gratitude and affection for this remarkable young witch he was lucky to call his friend.

“You better heal up fast Lupin, because there's a wicked snowstorm outside and I want to make a snowman!”

He laughed loudly, this was turning into a great holiday after all.

**Hogwarts, Scotland, March 29 th 1972**

James and Sirius had been acting shifty all day, and they had been whispering all throughout dinner shooting Hermione furtive glances, annoying her to the point of anger.

“What?! What is with the staring and the whispering. Spit it out!” She raged, hands on hips in a pose that she was startled to realise reminded her of Molly Weasley.

It seemed to affect the fourth year Prewett twins similarly, if their slightly fearful glances were anything to go by.

“Not here” Sirius said, solemn expression looking foreign on his handsome face. It was a look mirrored on James' , and it looked even more out of place on him.

Intrigued, she followed the two boys out of the hall and into an abandoned classroom on the third floor. She chuckled inwardly as she realised that it was right across from the room that Fluffy had occupied in her own time.

“Okay, so I'm here, what's up?”

“Hermione, you and Remus are close aren't you?” James began.

“Yes, why?” She asked suspiciously, wondering at the direction of this conversation.

“Well we've noticed he seems to be sick a lot, and he missed class fairly often. Have you noticed?”

“Yes, I have actually” She agreed, not willing to volunteer any explanation that would betray her friend's trust in her.

“Well has he said anything to you?” Sirius asked “Because we have a theory, it might seem insane, but hear me out, what if...”

Hermione grinned.

**Hogwarts, Scotland, March 31 st 1972**

“You told them! I can't believe it Hermione. I thought you could be trusted! Do you have any idea what could happen if-”

“Of course I didn't tell them. I can't believe you could even _think_ -”

“You knew! Why didn't you say some-”

“So it's true then?” James interjected quietly, causing the rest of the chatter to cease immediately in the same abandoned classroom from a few days previous.

Remus sighed, a heavy, bone-tired sound that made Hermione's heart ache for him. For all that his accusations had stung, she understood why he had reacted so extremely. His illness affected every aspect of his life, and living a lie took its toll on him.

“Yes, it's true” He replied, resigned look on his face, “So you can go now, I won't blame you if you don't want to talk to me anymore”

Sirius snorted at that “Not bloody likely. What kind of friends do you take us for?”

For the second time, Remus looked absolutely gobsmacked.

“Yeah, it's hardly your fault you have a furry little problem. It's like Hermione with her bossiness, or Sirius' snoring. Not ideal, but we love them anyway” James added, grinning madly.

Remus laughed wildly with relief and Hermione wanted to cry. Damn teenage hormones.

She walked up to Remus and placed a hand on each cheek and spoke to him softly.

“One day, you're going to stop being surprised when people accept you. One day you won't ever worry that you're not loved. One day, you're going to stop waiting for everyone to leave, and just accept that you are loved”

He met her eyes with an expression of awe. He had never felt such warmth or love, and he knew he had the best friends in the world.

“I'm sorry I accused you of betraying my trust. You're my best friend-”

“Oi!” James and Sirius protested indignantly.

“Best female friend,” He amended, and the boys nodded in satisfaction “I know I can trust you”

“No you don't” She smiled “Not yet, but you will. I understand Remus, and I forgive you.”

There was a moment of comfortable silence between the four young people, a moment in which they revelled in the feeling of newly strengthened bonds of friendship.

“But, I do think we should clue in Lily and Sev” she added, breaking the peaceful moment.

“I don't know,” Remus said hesitantly “I'm not really supposed to tell people.”

“I know, but I think Lily suspects something and Sev's already asking questions. We all spend too much time together for them not to find out eventually. We can trust them I know it!”

She said this so earnestly, with so much conviction, that Remus had no choice but to agree.

“Okay” he conceded “If you're sure”

“I am” She nodded firmly. They sent James to go and collect the final parts of their little group. Things were finally coming together.

**Hogwarts, Scotland, April 28 th 1972**

“Okay Hermione, we're all here what did you want to talk to us about?”

They had met again in “their” classroom, specifically on the night of the full moon so that Remus would be otherwise occupied. She hated using his condition this way but she knew that he would never agree to this if he found out what she wanted to attempt.

“Yes dear sister, do tell us what you have to tell us that requires so much secrecy” Severus said mockingly “Got any other werewolves hidden somewhere?”

“No just the one for now” she replied brightly, refusing to rise to his baiting.

“Well then what is it love?” Sirius asked smoothly, but she could see that he was intrigued. James and Lily were practically bouncing in their seats with curiosity. It really was startling at times how obvious it was that they were made for each other. She just couldn't imagine them being as adversarial as she knew that had been in her old timeline.

“C'mon Hermione we're dying here” Lily implored, as James nodded in agreement like an overexcited puppy.

“Okay I will” She agreed. “But first of all, tell me what you know about Animagi...”

**A/N: Honestly guys, I just wanted to take a moment to thank you all for being the most kind and supportive readers I could have asked for. Your reviews honestly give me life and make writing this story a massive source of joy for me. I try to reply to all my reviews but to the Guests who I can't, I read every review and your input is much appreciated. Love to you all.**

**Thanks so much for reading** ,

**Til next time,**

**SJ**


	8. Meanwhile

Chapter 8: Meanwhile

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment ***

**Room of Requirement, Hogwarts, Scotland, January 15 th 1972**

“So we just wait for them to figure it out? And then we start?” Cepheus asked, managing to sound only slightly disappointed. He was torn; on the one hand he was desperate to get going on the undoubtedly long journey towards becoming an Animagus, but on the other hand he was almost certain the achievement would mean more if he shared it with his best friends.

“I'm going to, but if you and Pandora want to get a head start I promise I won't mind.” It was only partially a lie. Secretly Hermione hoped that her oldest friend would wait for her so that they could go through the process together. The way they used to do everything. She hated that their roles in opposing houses had caused them to drift farther apart than they ever had since they had become friends so long ago, after the troll incident that never was.

At the same time, however, she knew that this had been a private dream of her friend's since he had learned about his fathers talent in their alternate third year. She would never dream of holding him back from that now that he finally had the time and the opportunity. With that in mind, she smiled at him encouragingly, hoping that she looked convincing enough.

“No it's fine, I'd rather we do it together” Cepheus replied with a dismissive wave of his hand. He had waited this long, a few more months or even years wouldn't hurt.

“Of course we will, the two of you are a team. And now I get to join the two of you on this amazing journey to remake the world. It's all so very exciting!” Pandora beamed brilliantly at the two of them.

“Happy to have you aboard ma'am!” Cepheus laughed, doffing his non-existent hat and bowing in a show of mock deference that had Hermione grinning.

“As you should be, whichever cause I make my own should be honoured that I have deigned to pay it any small measure of attention. I am a very important person, don't you know.” The blonde sniffed imperiously, look of carefully practised contempt looking bizarre upon the usually kind face.

It was a perfect impression of the snobbish pure-blooded woman that he and Pandora had both grown up around. It made him laugh uproariously, he was extremely amused despite the fact that he also found it more than a bit disturbing.

“But of course Lady Greengrass, let me kiss your boots!” Hermione threw herself to the floor feverishly, as if she were about to perform said act, and just as Pandora was about to raise one slightly scuffed boot she cast a silent _Glacius._ At that moment the floor beneath them turned to ice, causing both Cepheus and Pandora to fall promptly onto their behinds.

“Touché Miss Snape” Pandora clapped delightedly as she giggled.

“Ouch Hermione! I think I bruised my arse” Cepheus pouted, only making the two girls laugh harder.

“Mental, you are!” He scoffed exasperatedly, in a way so achingly familiar it caused Hermione to freeze.

_Ron._ She realised guiltily how little she had thought of him in this timeline. It was mostly in moments like this, moments of much needed levity, that she thought of him. She thought back now to his easy smile and his warm hands. She thought of him when James went off about how _This is the Cannon's year Hermione I'm telling you!_ Or when Sirius wheedled her for help with his homework. Or when Cepheus would scoff at her and roll his eyes good naturedly.

_Merlin how she missed him_. But it was a good kind of missing, she realised. The kind of missing that made her smile in nostalgia and lose herself in the good memories. It was the kind of missing you have when your best friend moves far away. The kind where you know that you'll see them again, but that things will never be the same as they once were. The kind of missing where that doesn't have to be a bad thing, because you just _know_ that exciting things are going to happen for them, and for you. It's the kind of missing that simply means _moving on._

“Hermione? Everything alright?” Cepheus asked cautiously. Hermione shook herself from the deep thoughts, sad to have interrupted their moment of fun.

“She's fine Cepheus” Pandora answered in her stead, “She was just visiting an old friend.” The blonde had a warm, knowing expression on her face as she locked eyes with the other girl.

Hermione smiled brightly, nodding at the question in Cepheus' gaze.

“Okay, whatever then” He said slowly, reluctantly dropping the subject, “What should we work on for the rest of the afternoon?”

“Occlumency I think” Hermione decided, “But first, I want to see you two more often! I think we should find a way to explain our friendship. Maybe eventually then you two could train with all of the rest at the Animagus stuff as well.”

Harry looked pleasantly surprised at her idea, Pandora just smiled serenely as was her default.

“Well, are you struggling with anything? I could pretend to be tutoring you in something?” he suggested.

Hermione just stared at him incredulously then. She continued to do so until he started to squirm uncomfortably.

“Okay, maybe not then” he conceded, cheeks reddening slightly. He hated that, he had forgotten how much _blushing_ was involved in puberty.

“You two are being awfully ridiculous, for two seemingly intelligent people” Pandora stated plainly, giving them both a condescending look that make them feel like five year olds who hadn't yet learned to tie their shoelaces. When neither of them managed to clock on to what she was getting at, she sighed in a long-suffering way before explaining.

“You two are making things infinitely more complicated than they need to be. You have been introduced before. Here's what you do...”

**Hogwarts' Library , Hogwarts, Scotland, January 18 th 1972**

“No that's not what I'm saying! I'm saying if you _were_ to add a clockwise stir-”

“You're a _first year Sev._ I hardly think you know better than a man that has over forty years of experience in the field, and literally _wrote the book_ on the subject. It's not whether improvements can be made that I doubt, it's that if there _are,_ that you're the one qualified to make them”

Hermione rolled her eyes at her brother and Dorcas' back-and-forth. This was a regular feature of their bi-weekly study sessions. She barely knew how to do her homework any more without the hiss of angry whispers in the background to accompany her.

“Well, they certainly seem enthusiastic” a familiar voice commented wryly from behind her.

_Cepheus!_ She thought excitedly, but reminded herself to keep her tone and expression light.

“I don't know if enthusiastic is the word I'd use. Adversarial maybe.” She replied, making Remus and Emmeline chuckle.

“Perhaps you're right Hermione” Ceph inclined his head in agreement, Pandora smiling her usual dotty smile.

“Perhaps, what can we do for you this evening Cepheus” Hermione asked, as per their plan.

“I heard from my brother that you lot have kind of a study group going”

_Not technically a lie, just because Hermione told me first,_ Cepheus reasoned.

“Well, yes, it's nothing formal, but you're more than welcome to join us if you wish.” Hermione offered kindly, not noticing the frown pass over Remus' face.

“That would be great. Pandora and I are woefully short on study partners. Thanks Hermione!” This was said with a genuine smile. Now they would be able to spend more time together, and maybe he could make friends with some of the others as well.

“Then pull up a chair, Remus and I are working on Defence, Dorcas and Sev are 'debating' Potions, and Emmeline is pretending to write her Charms essay while actually reading _Witch Weekly._ Take your pick.”

“Ooh, the new issue, I haven't got that yet. Budge up Emmy” Pandora said enthusiastically, immediately making herself at home, much to Emmeline's excitement.

“I'll probably join you two with Defence then, no way am I getting in the middle of _that_ ”

Hermione laughed, but couldn't help but agree. The 'debate' had gotten more heated, and she could have sworn she heard the words 'dunderhead' and 'nincompoop' thrown in there somewhere.

“No problem, come and sit beside me then” she gestured the empty seat to her left.

“Yeah, sure, sit down. Make yourself comfortable.” Remus muttered, his tone suggesting that this was the absolute last thing he wanted the other boy to do. Cepheus looked taken aback at Remus' rudeness for a moment, before a look of comprehension was followed quickly by a smirk and he proceeded to do as instructed.

Hermione frowned. She was not used to Remus being so rude and unfriendly. She desperately wanted the two boys to get along and had, apparently wrongly, assumed that they would without issue. She decided to let it go for the moment, perhaps they just needed time to warm up to each other.

**Slytherin Common Room, Hogwarts, Scotland, March 29 th 1972**

“Andy please, _please_ just think about what you're doing for a minute. I understand why you think you have to do this, I swear I do, but you can't just leave!”

Cepheus immediately tensed up at the sound of his cousin's voice floating down from the girls' staircase. He had never heard her like that before. It sounded like she was _crying._ Cissa _never_ cried. The last time he had seen her do so was when they were very small. Even then, it had been a rarity.

Whatever this was, it couldn't be good.

“I don't want to leave Cissy, but I have to. Father will kill me if he finds out, you know that. Not to mention whatever Trixie would do.” Andromeda's voice sounded suspiciously thick, and Ceph thought that she might be crying too.

He waited at the bottom of the staircase, planning to heard them into an abandoned classroom at the earliest opportunity to find out what the hell was going on.

The sound of Narcissa's sniffling sobs drew closer as they descended the staircase, but neither girl spoke any more.

They were clutching each other's hands tightly when they finally arrived at the elegantly furnished common room, pale faces stricken with fear and grief.

“What on Earth is wrong? Who died?” Ceph asked sharply, unhappy at seeing his two favourite cousins so frightened.

“Me, if I don't leave here tonight” Andy quipped with a strained voice and a tight-lipped smile.

“Rubbish, no-one is going to kill you. They wouldn't dare! And besides, I won't give them the chance” Ceph declared passionately, causing a fond look and a slightly warmer smile to cross Andy's face, before the cool mask snapped firmly back into place.

“That's sweet Ceph, but I really don't think there's anything you can do about it” Andy said soothingly, her patronising tone only bothering the young boy slightly, there were more pressing matters to attend to presently.

“We're not doing this here, come one there's a classroom not far away from here we can ward so we can speak privately. No need to air family business here in the common room where any nosy sod can listen in.”

The sisters looked uncertain, but followed their younger cousin anyway.

Once they arrived in an abandoned classroom three doors down from the Slytherin common room, Cepheus locked and warded the door with the strongest privacy charms he knew. The two older girls looked at him in disbelief.

“Ceph, where on earth have you been learning those type of wards!” exclaimed Cissa.

He just flashed them a grin and responded “Grandfather.”

This was a lie of course, but it seemed as good an explanation as any. The girls seemed to accept this regardless, and they all sat down around a desk in the middle of the room to continue their discussion.

“So, Andy, what's wrong? Why do you have to leave?” Ceph asked in a businesslike tone.

“I'm having a baby” She muttered, cheeks tinged pink as she stared resolutely at the floor.

_Oh for the love of Merlin I'm thick!_ Cepheus chastised himself. Of course she was having a baby. A baby that had once been a dear friend of his. How could he forget about Tonks! He wanted to smack himself, but instead schooled his expression to deal with the matter at hand.

“Ted's?” He asked gently, knowing the answer already.

“How do you know about Ted?” Andy gasped in disbelief, making Ceph snort in amusement.

“Please Andy, was it supposed to be a secret?” He asked, chuckling at the expression on her face, feeling only slightly guilty for his foreknowledge.

“I didn't bloody well know, how did you?” Cissa asked, clearly personally offended that her younger cousin should know something of which she herself was unaware.

“I know a lot of things. Talked to Kingsley lately?” He asked lightly, enjoying teasing his older cousins a bit.

Rather than looking embarrassed as he had intended however, she went deathly pale, horrified expression painted on her face. Cepheus instantly felt guilty. He had been trying to lighten the mood and instead he had made things infinitely worse.

“Oh calm down you two. Nothing's going to happen I promise.”

“Well excuse me if I don't take your word for it.” Cissa sniffed angrily, before turning to her sister, “Andy I need you to take me with you, if father finds out-”

“Nothing. Nothing will happen. I've already spoken to Grandfather. It was one of my conditions for

taking my heir ring early, we all get to marry whoever we want. No more contracts, no more betrothals, no more carefully chaperoned meet and greets. The adults and I all had a family meeting about it at Christmas break. They're banned, there's nothing Uncle Cygnus can do about it. It's all done Cissy.”

The blonde girl froze comically for a moment, before her expression slowly morphed into one of pure joy. She started to cry, pulling her younger cousin towards her, dancing him in wild circles around the room in a manner most undignified. Walburga would be horrified.

“Ceph you brilliant little monster I could kiss you! Now I don't have to marry that self-important ponce Malfoy!”

Cepheus laughed and celebrated with his cousin merrily until he caught Andy's expression. She stood at the side of the room, tears in her eyes and a sad little smile across her face.

“Andy, what is it?” Cissy asked kindly, having caught on to her sisters melancholy by now as well.

“Well it's not the same for me is it? It's a muggleborn who loves me. They'll never allow I, I know it. I'm so glad for you though Cissy, you deserve to be happy with someone who loves you as much as Ted loves me.” she reached up and cupped her hand to her sister's cheek, looking at her with a soft expression, before slowly turning away to exit the room.

“Andy you don't know what you're talking about. The only thing that'll never be allowed is you walking away from us. Your father might not accept it, but I know for a fact that Grandfather will.”

“That's crap Ceph, and you know it! He's just as bad as the rest of them, look at what he raised his sons to be. There's no way on any plane of existence that he just accepts my _mudblood_ husband and half-blood child into the family. You're dreaming.”

“I'm not Andy. There are things I can't tell you, I promised I wouldn't. I just know that he won't let anyone hurt you, or cast you out. Please go to Grandfather, or let me do it for you. Just give me one week, and if things don't seem like they're not going well I promise I won't try to stop you.”

Her expression seemed sceptical, he would have been more surprised if it hadn't, but she also seemed to be considering his words.

“Please Andy, just give him a chance. It's only a week. I don't want to have to love you or my niece or nephew from afar.” Narcissa implored. She, at least, seemed to have faith in her cousin's words. Or maybe she just hoped they were true.

Andromeda sighed wearily, never able to say no to her younger sister.

“Fine” she conceded “One week”

**Hogwarts' Library, Hogwarts, Scotland, April 13 th 1972**

“-terrified. Yeah apparently he was shaking in his dragon skin boots, poor boy” The whole table of first and second years giggled at that.

“Well, can you blame him Ceph? Your Grandad sounds terrifying.” James laughed.

“Oh he is” Sirius agreed seriously, “I certainly wouldn't want to be the one to tell him I got his favourite granddaughter in the family way”

“Following in the grand family tradition Sirius?” Cepheus teased lightly.

“Piss off Ceph” the younger boy laughed in response, sticking two fingers up at his brother for good measure.

“So what happened?” Remus interjected snappishly, clearly in no mood for the Black brothers' bantering.

“Wedding's June 25th, Andy says you're all invited by the way. She's getting pretty excited for the wedding considering she spent a week sulking that she wouldn't be allowed to just elope.”

“That's wonderful! We'll definitely be there won't we gang?” Hermione said, clapping her hands excitedly. She was so pleased for Andromeda, and Tonks too. They would grow up in a family full of sisters, and cousins and so much love. Narcissa and Andromeda could grow up as close as they always should have been.

Another part of her was just relieved to see their efforts would not be in vain. This was just another piece of evidence that they would be able to change things for the better, and do things right this time around.

“Of course we will!” Lily agreed emphatically, always excited to be included. Severus glared at his sister in a way that suggested there is nothing he would enjoy less than a wedding, but agreed just the same.

Everyone offered their acceptance with varying degrees of enthusiasm. Remus seemed particularly reluctant. Hermione had been getting increasingly annoyed with her friend's rude behaviour towards Cepheus. Whenever she had mentioned it to either boy though, they had each dismissed her worries; Remus with an outright denial, Cepheus with a laugh and a reassurance that she needn't worry about it.

She did worry about it though. There was clearly some underlying issue here that she wasn't seeing. She vowed, not for the first time, to monitor the situation and get to the bottom of it.

“So, Ceph, how did the rest of the family take it? I know your Grandfather was alright, but what about the rest?” Lily asked curiously.

Sirius and Cepheus shared an uncomfortable glance at that.

“Not well at all, I'm afraid. Uncle Cygnus has flat out refused to have anything to do with her, mother and father too. Aunt Druella wasn't pleased either but she wants to go to the wedding, and see the baby when it's born. Her and Cygnus haven't spoken to one another since Grandfather announced he was giving Andy and Ted a house and an allowance as a wedding present. Bellatrix was the worst of all though “ Cepheus finished, shifting in his chair.

“Why, what did she do?” Hermione asked, trying her best not to shake at the mention of the terrifying woman.

“She made all sorts of threats against Andy, Ted and the baby. None of which I care to repeat” Ceph said with a disgusted glare “The be all and end all of it is that Grandfather and she had words, and she's out of the family. Which just put Uncle Cygnus' nose even further out of joint. It's all a big mess, but Andy is safe, happy and protected and that's the important thing.”

“Protected?” James asked interestedly.

“Once they graduate, the house they're moving into has been given the most impenetrable wards money, and the Black family library has to offer.”

“Mm, I'm sure it has. Shame it's that same family she needs protecting from” Remus remarked snottily.

Hermione was mortified. Sirius looked miffed at his friend's attitude. Strangely, Cepheus just grinned, looking very much like he was struggling not to laugh. What the hell was happening?

“Right you are Remus, a damn shame” Cepheus agreed brightly, clearly ignoring the younger boy's bad manners.

Hermione, however, was not so forgiving.

“Remus, can I speak to you for a moment?” Hermione hissed angrily, yanking him by the back of the robes as she stood up, dragging him up with her and out of the library doors.

**Fourth Floor Classroom, Hogwarts, Scotland, April 13 th 1972**

“Hermione, let me go! What on Earth is wrong with you?” Remus yelled, pulling himself free from her death grip.

“Me? Me? What's wrong with you?” She yelled back, face flushed red with anger.

“I don't know what you're talking about” Remus replied firmly, stubborn set to his jaw and hard look in his eyes.

“Do you think I'm _stupid?_ ” She hissed in reply, anger forcing adrenaline through her veins, making her practically vibrate with rage, “You've been walking around like a dragon with a head cold for weeks Remus and I'm _sick of it_.”

Remus had his arms crossed defiantly across his chest as he opened his mouth to answer.

“No Remus don't you dare! Don't tell me there's nothing wrong. You don't want to tell me what's going on, then say that, But stop insulting my intelligence by pretending there's nothing there when we both know that there is” Hermione's voice was quiet now, her tone ice cold and hard.

Remus just sighed and ran a hand over his face. “I don't know what you want me to say. Fine. There is something wrong, but had you ever considered that maybe it's simply _none of your bloody business!”_

“I'm your friend. Or I thought I was at least. I'm worried about you.” Her voice was tinged with hurt now.

“No one asked you to worry about me! Go fuss over your new best pal Cepheus if you need someone to mother so badly. It will be much more pleasant for you, I'm sure, no nasty little werewolf problem that needs taking care of with that one is there?”

Hermione was struck speechless. _He's jealous,_ she realised _._ She couldn't fucking believe it. She had to fight to stop herself from rolling her eyes and screaming to the heavens in frustration. First with Ron, and now Remus. Was she just incomplete without at least one jealous ego to cater to? And jealous of the same bloody person as well. Why did these things keep happening to her?

“You jealous _arse_ Remus Lupin! Do you really think I'm that fickle. Or that shallow for that matter? If you think so little of me that you don't think I can have and care for more than one friend at a time then I don't know why you ever wanted to be my friend in the first place!”

“Friend, Ha!! Remus snorted derisively “You should see how you are with him, you're so bloody _comfortable._ You're always so happy to see each other it's _sickening._ Not that I blame you, he is very pretty I suppose” he finished bitterly, refusing to meet her eyes.

“You go out with him then! I don't fancy him, but I won't apologise for enjoying his company, he's funny and smart and I get on with him extremely well. But he's my _friend._ Only my friend”

“You don't fancy him?” Remus asked, quirking one eyebrow in suspicion.

“No I do not. But even if I did, I like to think that I'd have the support of my best friend. Why do you care so much who I fancy anyways?” Hermione asked, shrewd look in her eye.

Remus started to blush furiously at this, and seemed to stutter for a moment, scrambling for something to say.

“I-I don't. I just don't want to lose my best friend. I've never had a best friend before, and I suppose I just feel a bit... protective? I'm not sure. I'm sorry.” He finished, eyes fixed firmly on the wall behind Hermione's head.

“You're forgiven, I don't know that I'd like some other girl muscling in trying to take my place either.” Hermione said with a giggle, making Remus look slightly pleased with himself.

“But that's not what's happening here. I promise, no one can take me from you. They'll have to pry you away from my cold, dead hands! And besides, Ceph has Pandora, he doesn't need to steal me away. He's a great person you know, and I'm sure you'd like him if you gave him a chance!”

“I'm sorry, I _was_ being a jealous arse. I'll try harder to be nice I promise. To you and to Cepheus” Remus was smiling now, the most genuine smile she had seen in days.

“Be sure that you do then” She nodded in agreement “Now get over here and give me hug!”

And so he did, and as per usual, all was forgiven between them.

_These bloody boys are going to be the death of me,_ Hermione thought wryly to herself.

**A/N: Another chapter down folks! Bit of a time jump coming next chapter, it's time to get things moving along. Some big changes taking affect this chapter, what did you guys think? Don't forget to review and let me know.**

**Thanks so much for reading** ,

**Til next time,**

**SJ**


	9. Consequences

Chapter 9: Consequences

**A/N:I'm so sorry for the long wait between updates folks! Real life has been hitting me pretty hard of late, and I've been finding it a little difficult to motivate myself to write. Thank you all so much for your kind reviews and for your patience. Hopefully now that things are calming down a little, I can find my muse again. Now onto the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment ***

**Hogwarts Express, London, September 1 st 1972**

“Hermione!” Remus called out excitedly, rising from his seat to greet her with a massive bear hug and a smile before grabbing her trunk and placing it in the overhead storage space. “It's good to see you.”

“Remus, I only saw you at the Potters' two days ago!” Hermione laughed fondly. It was true, despite her initial fears, she had managed to spend time with all of her friends over the summer. Severus and her had spent the majority of their time between their own home and the Evans', of course, but there had been so many opportunities to spend time with her friends, she had barely had a chance to miss them at all. The wedding had been first of course, given that it had been the first day of the summer.

It had been beautiful, Andy and Tonks had been so clearly overjoyed at their union it had brought her to tears. Much to Severus' clear amusement of course. Remus had discreetly handed her a handkerchief while he valiantly tried to contain his own mirth, only allowing a small smile to escape. The day, thrown by Melania and paid for by Arcturus had been tasteful, but extremely decadent. It was clearly a society event, a statement from the Black family that they very much approved of the match.

And if a few uppity purebloods made some off-colour comments about the small but clearly visible bump sported by the bride, they made sure not to do it within her or Arcturus' hearing. Either way, the young students were all thrilled to spend time together outside of school and decided to make plans to do it again whenever possible.

Then a few weeks later there had been the invite to spend the weekend at Potter Manor, along with Severus, Lily, Marlene, Mary and the Marauders. It had been a glorious few days spent swimming in the pond that belonged to the expansive grounds, and well as having picnics, sunbathing and generally enjoying the summer. The boys of course, spent the majority of their time flying and playing countless games of pick-up Quidditch. Severus included, much to his sister's surprise. The Potter's had been incredibly kind, their female house-elf Lufty had been simply charming, and Hermione was quite taken with Dorea's quick wit and easy manner.

The Evans' had allowed Lily to invite the study group over twice for dinner, and Cepheus and Sirius had invited the whole friend group over to the family manor for one memorable afternoon in which they were introduced to Arcturus and Melania Black. The Black family patriarch had an intimidating presence and an expression to match, but when he spoke he was surprisingly warm and funny. He had them all in peals of laughter as he regaled them with tales of Sirius' early days as a prankster, and the less than intended consequences.

Sirius hadn't found this so funny, strangely enough. The most amazing part though, was that he had barely batted an eye at Petunia's presence. She had been invited at Sirius' urging, after meeting her earlier in the summer at the Evans' and being extremely amused by her frosty response to his antics. He had taken it upon himself as a challenge that he would get her to laugh at him at least once before summer was over.

Hermione had never felt so content. Yes, she knew that there were harder times ahead, and there would be pain, but right now she couldn't bring herself to be all that concerned at that moment. All of the small changed she and Harry had made had brought them all closer together as a group, and had somehow made room for one more as Petunia had fit into their group with surprising ease. She had played big sister to all of them, the way she always had to Hermione, and was surprised to find herself well-liked for it.

Hermione got the impression that Petunia was still not particularly well-liked at her school, she had seemed lonely when they had returned for the summer, and even more so when they had departed from King's Cross earlier that morning.

So it must have been a shock when she realised just how many of them in her little sister's friend group looked up to her with awe when she had verbally eviscerated a girl in Diagon Alley who had pushed past Lily without apologizing. It wasn't just that though. Marlene and Mary were immensely grateful at the various hair tricks she had shown them, while James and Remus loved to watch how increasingly desperate Sirius got as she remained unmoved by his many, _many_ attempts at humour. Even Emmy and Dorcas had enjoyed having an older girl around to confide in over the summer if they needed to.

That was how Petunia found herself in the position of resident older sister and trusted confidant of a whole gaggle of second year Hogwarts students. They had all bade her farewell at the station and promised to write to her regularly. Truthfully she had seemed a bit intimidated at the prospects of keeping up with so many correspondents.

Hermione smiled at the thought as she proceeded to flop herself down on the seat beside Remus, who was being bullied by Aslan into giving him a belly rub as per usual.

“I know, but that's two days too long!” he insisted, making Hermione smile and roll her eyes at her friend's antics.

“That cat is a truly appalling judge of character” Sev sneered as he sat himself down opposite them. He and Aslan were still not on speaking terms, even after a year of familiarity with each other.

“You leave Aslan alone, it's not his fault you're a grumpy git!” Hermione snapped defensively, unable to abide any criticism of her best boy, or Remus for that matter. “And I happen to think that befriending Remus shows just what an excellent judge of character he is actually” she finished with a smile towards her friend.

Sev and Lily just laughed at this while James rolled his eyes and Sirius smirked before speaking.

“Of course you do, love”

Hermione just huffed indignantly at their childish insinuations, ignoring the blush rising to her cheeks, and the matching one on Remus' as they refused to meet each others eyes.

“Oh don't ignore us Hermione,” Lily implored “It's okay, we all know that Remus is your favourite”

Severus smirked as his sister replied “Well of course he is, you don't see him joining in on all of your nonsense, do you?”

“Absolutely not.” Remus agreed, eyes twinkling, “I would never resort to such base teasing”. A blatant lie of course, he frequently teased her about the way she doted on her cat, and about her crazy hair, and the way she chewed her quills down to nothing, The list was endless, really .

James looked outraged and indignant at this statement.

“That's a load of Hippogriff dung! Just the other day you were on my case for over twenty minutes about-”

“Yes?” Remus inquired, clearly trying to hold in his laughter.

“Nothing. You're right Hermione, Remus is clearly the best of us all” James quipped quickly, eyes darting almost imperceptibly towards Lily, who was clearly curious to know what he was about to say. Now it was Hermione's turn to smirk knowingly.

“Clearly” Hermione agreed, handing a chocolate frog to a smug looking Remus, who was still scratching Aslan's furry belly.

**Room of Requirement, Hogwarts, Scotland, November 20 th 1972**

Cepheus could barely contain his excitement. After months of mediating and theory books and mental exercises and research, not to mention the brewing time, tonight they were all finally going to take the potion to discover their Animagus form. He had wanted to do it the previous full moon, but Hermione was the unofficial manager of this project and she had felt that they had all needed a little extra time.

He and Pandora had been brought in on Remus' 'secret' on the last full moon before term had ended before the summer, and so had been brought in on the Animagus sessions ever since. They met all as one group only on full moons, but continued to do all of the necessary work on their own in between. Pandora had 'discovered' the RoR only a week before, a fortuitous discovery indeed as they had been in desperate need of a place to safely take the potion that Hermione had been brewing in the second floor girl's bathroom, much to Sirius and James' amusement.

“Alright everyone?” He was greeted with a multitude of friendly greetings as he took his place in the circle between Panda and Sirius's they all meditated to get into the proper head space, as had become their custom

“What's with the decor?” He asked curiously, noting the low lighting and the veritable sea of soft pillows that covered the floor of the otherwise bare stone room.

“Well, the lighting is to help us concentrate,just like when we usually meditate” Hermione explained, “And the pillows are for when we pass out after we slip into our visions”

“And you're sure we will pass out then?” James asked, trying and not quite managing to keep the nerves and excitement out of his voice.

“As sure as I can be, yes” she nodded, “And remember, we don't tell each other what we are until we're _all_ awake so we can all tell together.” She said this last part in her signature bossy tone, giving them all a stern look that would make McGonagall proud. Cepheus grinned before nodding his agreement, as did everyone else, except from Severus who simply rolled his eyes.

This was clearly enough for Hermione though, as she soon started handing out small vials of bright orange liquid. Cepheus gave his a sniff and regretted it immediately, it smelled horrendous. Like rotten eggs. It was not at all appetizing.

“Well then” Lily smiled, raising her vial before pinching her nose, “Bottoms up!”

She downed her vial of the foul potion in one go, and the rest almost instantly followed. Hermione and Ceph waited a few extra minuted to make sure that no-one had any adverse reactions before downing their own. Cepheus felt his whole stomach rebel as he struggled to keep the potion down. It hadn't tasted any better than it had smelled, it was truly revolting. He started to feel lightheaded as he slowly faded into unconsciousness, letting the potion do it's work.

When he opened his eyes he was in a space filled with nothing but whitish-grey fog, and he could see his own breath, yet he didn't feel cold. He didn't feel warm either. He just felt like nothing at all, floating free, weightless, his mind clear and body comfortable as he noted the many dark shadows moving around behind the fog with some interest. Some rational part of him thought that maybe he should be scared of the shadows, but that seemed so stupid and pointless to Cepheus, what use did he have for fear in this place? He just continued on in his floating, peaceful and unburdened until he saw one of the shadows reach down for him and felt it _grab_ at his ankle painfully with its talons and yank upwards.

_Talons?_ Cepheus mused, still unconcerned by this strange turn of events, even though now he was very sure that he should be. Oh well.

He felt the rush of cold air smack him in the face as soon as he emerged from the fog, snapping him out of his state of bliss. He started to panic as he felt himself carried higher and higher, and heard the beating of strong, powerful wings.

Without warning, the talons suddenly released him, sending him hurling at breakneck speed back towards the fog. Only, it wasn't fog anymore, it was a very solid stone floor. Cepheus felt his heart start to beat wildly as his mind started to race. What had went wrong? Why hadn't the potion worked? Was he about to die here? _Could he_ even die in a vision?

Just as he had started to close his eyes and brace for impact, he felt a rush of wind under his arms.

_No, not his arm – his wings!_

He opened his eyes as he felt himself glide gracefully over the stone floor, which of course was no longer a stone floor. What the hell had Hermione put in that damn potion? It was now a lake, still and beautiful, reflecting a bright red sunset. Cepheus looked down into the reflective water as he flew above it with more grace than he'd ever had as a human.

He was a large black and grey peregrine falcon. This was amazing! He had always wanted to fly, to be light and free of responsibility and just let the wind carry him away. That's why he had joined the Quidditch team as Seeker in his second year.

Well, now he could. He couldn't wait to share his form with his friends.

**Room of Requirement, Hogwarts, Scotland, November 20 th 1972**

Hermione woke up to find all of her friends chatting animatedly, drinking the cups of pumpkin juice she had left out for them. She sat up slowly and reached for her own, trying to stave off the dryness on her mouth and throat. She cast a quick _Tempus_ charm and was shocked to find that it was almost two in the morning. She cleared her throat and waited until she had everyone's attention before speaking.

“Okay guys, it's late so we'll have to make this quick, and we can talk more about it tomorrow”

“Oi! It's you we were all waiting for” Lily pointed out cheekily, making James laugh a little too loudly.

“Fair enough, but my point still stands. You go first” she conceded, indicating for the redhead to begin the sharing.

“Okay,” she agreed cheerily, “I'm a deer, a girl one. A doe isn't it?”

James looked thunderstruck, making Hermione physically shake from the effort of not laughing. Cepheus just beamed, happy to see the connection between his first parents and now good friends.

“I'm a stag” James blurted out, though it was nowhere near his turn.

Lily looked surprised for a moment before giving him a beaming smile “Well aren't we just two peas in a pod? What a coincidence!”

Cepheus was struggling against his own laughter at the thoroughly puzzled look on James's face at her casual acceptance of their shared forms. He couldn't understand how Lily didn't make the connection, but Hermione knew that this was just another instance of her typical naïvety. She would never question the oddity of matching forms because, to her mind, the wizarding world was an odd place, and as far as she knew this was perfectly ordinary.

“Yeah, two peas....” James muttered, looking slightly crestfallen. Sirius barked out a laugh as he patted his friend consolingly on the back.

“I'm a dog” he offered, trying to move past his friends awkwardness.

“We're all aware of that Black, but what's your form?” Severus shot back wryly.

“An easy joke, not up to your usual standards Sev” Pandora interjected casually, causing the boy in question to snort huffily.

“My form _is_ a dog you prat!” Sirius added “a big, black one”

“Whatever, just make sure you don't give us all fleas” James chimed in.

“I'll have you know I'm a very clean dog!” Sirius puffed out his chest proudly at this, causing the rest of them to erupt into giggles.

“Well I'm a horse” Pandora confessed simply, “A pretty grey and white one. She was so free when she ran, it was quite lovely.” There was a slight wistfulness to her tone that sounded alarm bells in Cepheus' mind. She sounded almost _sad._ Pan was never sad!

Come to think of it, she had sounded a bit like that on and off for a few weeks now. He couldn't think of anything that had changed, but promised himself to speak to Hermione, and together they would keep an eye on their usually cheerful and carefree friend.

He pulled himself away from his thoughts just in time to hear Severus confess to being a raven. The dark, shrewd bird suited this version of Severus he thought. And it would be nice to have someone to fly with when the time came, he thought. Hermione looked thrilled for her brother, just as she had for Ceph when he revealed his own falcon form.

“Oh that's wonderful Ceph! I know how much you love to fly! You too Sev, You can fly together!” she exclaimed happily, practically bouncing in her seat, much to Sev's embarrassment.

“Yes, wonderful. Now tell us your form!” he snapped, clearly uncomfortable being the centre of attention for a moment longer than necessary.

“Oh. Right. My form. Yes. Right. Of course.” Hermione babbled, before biting her lip nervously, blush inexplicably rising to her cheek.

“Hermione, it can't be that bad really. Whatever your form is we won't laugh I promise” Cepheus offered kindly, secretly desperate to know what had his friend in such a tizzy.

“Speak for yourself” Sirius added, but quieted down at a stern look from his older brother.

“It's not bad!” Hermione protested, “I actually like it rather a lot.”

Now Cepheus was just confused, as was everyone else if their expressions, which he was sure mirrored his own, were anything to go by. Except Pandora of course, she looked just as serene and unmoved as always.

“Well then bloody well tell us, we're all knackered!” James demanded, obviously still in a huff over Lily's lack of reaction to their shared forms.

Hermione seemed to shake herself free of some of her nerves at this, nodding her head resolutely before speaking. “Well, my form is, its. Well it's a .... a wolf” she admitted quietly, to dead silence.

The silence was broken after a few seconds by a loud gasp from Lily. She had smacked her hand to her mouth in a perfect comical impression of shock, her eyes meeting James' in realisation.

“Lily, is everything okay?” James asked hesitantly, clearly not wanting to upset the redhead.

“Fine. I'm going to bed, Bye everyone!” she squeaked out, before jumping to her feet and practically running out the door.

Severus, who had watched this entire exchange with a scowl, arose and started to follow his best friend out.

“I'm leaving too. Goodnight” he said shortly before making his speedy exit, letting the heavy wooden door slam shut behind him.

“Well that was dramatic” Sirius commented cheerily.

“That's an understatement” Ceph agreed, amused expression on his face.

“Well, I'm glad you all find it so funny.” James said quietly, looking utterly miserable.

“I can't believe that no-one has commented yet on Hermione's wolf form. I would've sworn blind that she would be teased mercilessly by now. Oh well, perhaps you have all matured ” Pandora mused.

James gasped. “You take that back!”

“Matured? Never!” Sirius yelled indignantly, before trying to stifle a yawn. “ It's too late and I'm tired. We'll deal with Hermione's passionate and undying love for Remus in the morning.”

“We'll do no such thing!” Hermione objected.

“I don't think there will be any stopping them” Ceph chuckled, “Let's all just get to bed, you've got to go see Remus in the hospital wing in a few hours yeah?”

“Fine.” she huffed, standing up to join the others as they all slowly took their leave, heading towards their respective dormitories for a well deserved night's sleep.

**Great Hall, Hogwarts, Scotland, 19 th December 1972**

It had been almost a month since Hermione and Cepheus had decided to keep an eye on Pandora and she had to concede that he was right. It wouldn't be obvious to anyone who didn't know her well, but the more Hermione watched, the more she was convinced that something was very wrong. She laughed a little less, her tone a bit less dreamy, Her stare a little more vacant. She talked less about the future and instead insisted on throwing herself whole-heartedly into her Animagus studies.

To put it plainly, Hermione was worried. Anything that could shake Pandora's eternal optimism simply could not be a good thing. She would soon find out just how correct that assessment was.

That morning, Cepheus and Pandora had decided to join the Gryffindors at their table for breakfast. They two Slytherins were chatting animatedly with James and Sirius about their latest Transfiguration essay, while Hermione was fixing breakfast for a pale and shaking Remus, only a day out from the full moon. She was just finished pouring him a cup of tea and was about to put together a bacon sandwich when she heard a drawling, too-familiar voice cut through the noise.

“Ah Pandora my dear, I have just received the happy news from my father.” Lucius Malfoy, seventh year Slytherin prefect, was definitely gorgeous, with the arrogance to match. Even his voice made Hermione's skin crawl, and the smug look of superiority on his face as he looked at the younger snake made her feel further unsettled.

“Lucius” Pandora acknowledged coolly, pureblood mask fully in place “Yes, I was thrilled to hear of our... joyous union.” This last was said with a moue of distaste, showing clearly what she thought of the man in front of her.

“Quite” he agreed, before running his eyes over the group of second and third years with a sneer. “You should enjoy this time over the next few years with your... _friends_ darling, you certainly won't get any once we're married”

_Married? What the fuck. No!_

Hermione could see her expression of horror reflected in Cepheus', his green eyes wide and unbelieving.

“Why, are we going somewhere?” she asked casually, clearly feigning disinterest as she buttered a crumpet, not deigning to raise her eyes to meet her future husbands.

Lucius' face flushed red, he was clearly unused to being ignored in such a fashion. “Certainly not. But I would expect any wife of mines to be more _selective_ and _discerning_ about her choice of friends.” His eyes clearly ran over Lily at this, look of disdain painting his aristocratic features.

“Funny, I would expect the same of my husband” she replied lightly, staring pointedly at his left arm, “I fear we will both be sorely disappointed. Good day Lucius”

Lucius did not respond well to this clear dismissal, hand twitching towards the wand holster at his hip. Remus, still shaking, stood up at this and spoke.

“Come on Malfoy, I think it's time you left. Surely you have better things to do than bother a bunch of second and third years. Perhaps some kittens that are in need of torturing?”

Hermione laughed out loud at this, despite her current state of shock at this entirely unexpected turn of events. She noticed that many of her friends had joined in, including some of the upper years. The Prewett twins laughed especially loudly.

“Yes, very amusing. And who might you be?” Lucius asked smoothly.

“Remus Lupin.” he replied, hard look in his bloodshot eyes.

“Hmm, Lupin, where have I heard that name before?” the blonde mused out loud, although Hermione could already see the look of first recognition, and then cruel triumph in the hard blue eyes and started to panic. He was about to reveal Remus' status to the school!

“Say, any relation to Lyall Lupin? Nice chap, works for the Department for Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures? Better known as the Monsters Division? No? Well I heard the _funniest_ story the other day, fantastic bit of irony really. Apparently-”

His anecdote was interrupted by a tap on his shoulder. During his little tirade, he had failed to notice Hermione, face filled with cold fury, who had slowly began to rise from her place at the table and climb up onto the bench. As short as she was, this brought her face almost level with the older boy.

“Yes, what do you wa-”

_Smack!_

She punched him so hard that he stumbled back several steps, blood gushing from his nose in rivulets. Hermione could feel herself shaking with anger. How dare he? How dare he come over here and attack her friends? How dare he marry Pandora?

“Piss off Malfoy you foul bastard! Go and take your vile stories somewhere they're wanted, and stay away from my friends!”

“Who do you think you are, little girl? How dare you? I'm Lucius Malfoy, heir to the Malfoy fortune!” Lucius yelled through his bloody nose, clearly both apoplectic with rage and stunned that anyone would dare to attack him with physical violence.

“I'm Hermione Snape and I don't give a fuck. Stay away from my friends!” With that, she jumped down from the bench, and stalked angrily out of the Great Hall, leaving a school full of shell-shocked students and teachers behind.

“Hermione _swore_ ” Lily commented with awe.

“Hermione _punched someone_ ” James added in.

“Hermione is going to get _detention_ ” Sirius said, in a tone of pure disbelief.

The only person who didn't look surprised was Severus. “I told you all she was vicious” he stated smugly.

Remus looked simply overwhelmed, moments ago he had been convinced that he was about to lose everything. And then Hermione had just up and attacked someone for him. No-one had ever protected him that fiercely before and to be honest he didn't know what to do with it. He finally decided just to be immensely grateful, and promised himself that he would always defend her just the same.

“I guess we should have expected it” Lily said, “There was only ever one way she was going to react when someone tried to mess with Remus”

James and Sirius agreed heartily with a chuckle, while Remus' ears turned a fetching shade of red.

Meanwhile, Cepheus and Pandora had gotten up and left the hall in search of their curly-haired best friend. They found her sobbing her eyes out, curled up with her head on her knees in a hidden alcove on the second floor.

“That was some performance in there” Cepheus commented, sliding down the wall to sit beside her.

“Spectacular, really” Pandora agreed, joining them on the floor, sitting cross-legged in front of Ceph.

“I'm so sorry Pandora. This is my fault. If I hadn't done the stupid ritual then you would've got to have a happy marriage to Xeno”

Pandora snorted, “That crackpot? I doubt it! There's eccentric and then there's plain insanity. Although he is kind enough I suppose.”

“You don't want to marry him? Then why-”

“I imagine the Lovegoods were the best family to offer for me. Now that Narcissa isn't going to be contracted to Lucius, I imagine our parents wanted to tie our two families closer together in business and this was one way to go about it.” she sighed sadly before continuing, “I am a bit sad about it, but I always knew that I wouldn't marry for love. At least we have a good few years until graduation, I don't have to marry him until then.”

“I'm so sorry” Cepheus responded, squeezing her hand comfortingly, tears of anger and guilt swimming in his own eyes, stubbornly refusing to fall.

“Hey now, none of that” she said gently, grabbing Hermione's hand with her free one “You two have done so many amazing things, changed so much for the better. This is just an unintended consequence, that's all. It's not the end of the world, I'll be fine. I wouldn't take back any of it just to have a different husband who I still wouldn't love.”

Hermione nodded, eyes still watery as she pulled the blonde girl in for a tight hug. Pandora laughed and pulled Cepheus' by the hand until he joined their teary embrace.

“Well aren't we a sight?” Hermione chuckled, finally pulling away to wipe her eyes.

“Hey, I just had a thought...” Harry said, guilty expression in his eyes as he smoothed out his rumpled robes. “I mean, I know it's awful and I really wish that you didn't have to marry Malfoy,” Pandora nodded and motioned for him to continue, “But do you know what it _does_ mean?”

Hermione's eyes widened as she realised what he was trying to say.

“We have our connection to get the diary.”

**A/N: Still unbeta'd so I apologise for any mistakes, I try to catch them as best I can but I know I'm not always all that successful! I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. Please let me know what you think guys**

**Thanks so much for reading** ,

**Til next time,**

**SJ**


	10. Inevitable

Chapter 10: Inevitable

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment ***

**A/N: Honestly, I'm blown away by you guys, your lovely reviews have given me so much joy, and most importantly the inspiration to write again. Much love to all of you.**

**A/N 2: Also, before I forget again I've set up a pinterest board for this story with some ideas for fancasts etc. You can find it by googling pinterest and NifflersNogtailsNargles. Check it out if you feel like it.**

_**Black Family Manor, Abergele, Wales, 23 rd December 1972** _

“Fancy a drink? You look like you could use one.”

Petunia scowled to herself before turning to eviscerate this unwanted interloper for interrupting her in her brooding. She certainly did not want a drink from any of these stuck up ponces, and she was certain once he found out about her dirty muggle heritage, he would rescind the offer. It wouldn't be the first time that evening.

“In all honesty, I could do with one myself. I only found out about all this magic stuff recently, and it's a bit much really”

She turned her head so quickly as to be legitimately concerned she might have whiplash. There was someone else here without magic? Why hadn't Lily or even Hermione told her that there would be before abandoning her to the wolves? Or to the wizards, to be more accurate. Granted, Hermione had been practically manhandled away from the rest of the group by a dark haired boy, who seemed oddly wary of Petunia, almost immediately once they had arrived.

“You aren't magical? “ Petunia asked, cringing at the obvious relief in her tone. She was trying her best to find her way in this new world, but it was more than a bit overwhelming. And she missed her sister more than she could say. Lily had been drifting away from her since the moment she had met Severus, but at least then Petunia had Hermione to help fill that gap. Now magic had come and taken her away as well. It was difficult not be at least a little bit resentful, and grateful for a small piece of normality when it came along.

“Definitely not. Apparently my dad's what they call a 'Squib'.” The boy's perfectly straight nose wrinkled in disgust at this turn of phrase.

“What on earth does that mean?” Petunia asked with a raised eyebrow as she took the offered glass of punch without drinking it, she could only imagine the term wasn't intended to be complimentary.

“Someone with magical parents who doesn't have any magic themselves. How that's any different from a muggle I'll never know. They have such strange names for things in the magical world.”

Petunia surreptitiously eyed the boy as she hummed her agreement. He was rather striking, truth be told. His dark hair was cropped close to his head at the back and sides, with a mop of thick curls on top. His cheekbones sat high upon his delicate face, and dark lashes framed chocolate coloured eyes.

“I suppose they do, really. So how did you end up here then if neither you or your family is magical?”

“My Dad and Arcturus are cousins, but none of the family have had much to do with us since they put dad out on his ear the second he turned seventeen. Well, none of them except Aunt Dorea, Dad's sister. She always popped in to make sure we were doing alright, looked after us after mum died. Either way, they've definitely never invited us to any stuffy Christmas Balls before.”

“Oh, I'm sorry” she offered softly, not quite knowing what else to say. She had never been particularly adept at handling emotional conversations, much like her father. It wasn't that she was unfeeling, as such, she just felt intensely awkward with any obvious outpouring of emotion.

“No worries, it was a few years ago. What about you? How did you end up here?”

“My younger sister Lily, she's friends with Arcturus' grandsons. I spent some time here over the summer and that was okay, but tonight...”

“I know, it's awful. The way some people look at you, honestly. You'd think we walked in in our ugliest underthings, grunting away in want of any civilized manner of conversation”

Petunia couldn't help the surprised chuckle that escaped her at that. It was, after all a fairly apt description.

“My Dad warned me that they'd be like this, that's why he never told me about all the magic stuff before this past summer. I'm glad I know though, it's always good to have more family. Even if most of them are arseholes. Anyways, I never caught your name?”

She giggled again before replying. “Petunia, Petunia Evans.” She offered him her hand and he took it cheerfully. She felt the first stirrings of butterflies in her stomach even with this minimal contact.

“Pleasure to meet you Petunia, I'm Dorian Black.”

“Dorian, after Dorea?” Petunia enquired wryly.

He flashed her a grin, showing every one of his straight white teeth and dimples to die for. Petunia was half sure she had melted into a puddle at that moment, so was surprised to find herself still solid when she nervously tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear, trying to ignore the rampant flip-flopping going on in her abdomen.

“Good catch, most people don't notice that. Yeah Dad named me after his sister.” He stared at a spot over her shoulder before frowning, “Speaking of. Petunia, it's been lovely chatting to you, but I can see Dad waving me over, I think he's had enough and wants to go home.”

She felt her heart sink. For the first time all night she had felt like herself, and now it was over. She would be left to face the disdain of the wizards alone once again.

“Oh, okay. Bye then” Her tone was flat and devoid of emotion. She didn't want him to see how disappointed she was, and fought not to swallow the embarrassing lump that had formed in her throat.

He started to walk away, before stopping suddenly, turning about face and sauntering back towards her in a manner she guessed was supposed to be casual. Petunia perked up at his renewed attention, hoping that he had decided to stay a while longer after all.

“You don't happen to have a phone do you?”

Taken aback, but not wanting to let it show, Petunia just scoffed at this.

“Of course I do, I'm not a Neanderthal.”

“Or a wizard” Dorian grinned.

“Or a wizard” she conceded, trying to mask her own smile.

“Well can I have it then?” he responded, his voice suddenly nervous.

Petunia was more amused than anything now, she knew fine well what he was trying to ask, but couldn't resist toying with him a little.

“My phone? Certainly not! Get your own” she tried keep her tone serious, but wasn't sure she'd been entirely successful until she heard his stuttered reply, and saw his face start to turn the most intriguing shade of pink .

“What?! No! I mean... I _have-_ ”

She couldn't help it, she burst into a fit of laughter at the panicked look on his face.

“You're having me on!” He finally realised with a surprise laugh.

She raised one perfectly manicured eyebrow at him again. “Obviously.”

She rummaged through her handbag, fishing through a sea of hair lacquer, combs and far too many bobby pins to count before finally emerging victorious, pen in hand.

“Oh, I don't have any paper” He realised, scratching his head in a way Petunia found adorable while he looked around the room, seemingly waiting for a solution to present itself.

“Give me your hand” she instructed, finally having mercy on the boy. She made sure to write her name and number down _extremely_ carefully, lest it get smudged and ruin her chances of hearing from the friendly boy again.

“Right. Excellent. Really excellent. Maybe I'll give you a call then?”

“That is typically what phone numbers are used for, yes” She teased him with a smile.

“Talk to you soon then, we can continue our discussion on the wonderful weirdness of wizards”

She smiled so brightly she thought she must look as deranged as a happy Hermione. “Sounds perfect.” she agreed. It really did.

“ _Dorian!”_

“ _Coming Dad!_ Right, well I'll be off then.” He lingered for a minute before finally walking away towards the irritated voice that had called him.

Petunia watched him walk away wistfully, stomach twirling around freely now. She tried to wipe the dopey smile off her face but for some reason she just couldn't stop. Gorgeous boys like that never paid her a minute's worth of attention back home. And why would they? God knows she wasn't the prettiest, or the most clever, or even the nicest of her classmates. Not like Lily. Not like her Mum. Not like Hermione. She felt the familiar twinge of jealousy and shoved it down deep, unwilling to let it ruin this perfect moment for her. Yes, she was plain, and her tongue was too sharp, and she wasn't particularly friendly, but Dorian hadn't seemed to mind. Not if the way he had smiled at her was any indication.

She was still happily staring off into space when a high, panicked voice that sounded vaguely familiar cut through her musings.

“Tuney, Tuney, we need your help!” It was Lily's little friend Alice that she had met over the summer. She was a sweet girl, and had written to Petunia a few months back asking how to deal with a group of bitchy older girls that had been giving her grief. Of course Petunia had obligingly sent along some of her best put downs and been pleased a few weeks later to hear that they had worked perfectly. Not that she had any doubts that they would, of course.

“What's wrong? Is it Lily?” Petunia responded immediately, all traces of her previous warm glow vanished.

“No. Sirius dumped a whole bucket of water over Marlene as a prank. We managed to get her dress fixed up with a drying charm, but it made her hair go all puffy and when we tried to fix her makeup like you showed us she ended up looking like a clown. Now she's locked herself in the loo and won't come out. Can you fix it?”

Petunia drew herself up in a businesslike fashion and gestured for Alice to lead the way. Once she got there she shooed all of the other second and third year girls, Lily among them, away from the door, ordering them back to the ballroom before knocking.

“Marlene, it's Tuney. Can I come in?”

She heard a sniffle, before the unmistakeable sound of a lock clicking. The older girl quickly entered the bathroom, locking it behind her before kneeling down to inspect the younger blonde.

“What on earth have they done to you?” It wasn't awful, in all honesty, but they had caked the makeup on so thick the girl looked twenty rather than twelve. Not to mention the red rimmed eyes from crying.

“I told them it was too much. They didn't listen.”

“Well next time, just wash your face and go without rather than let those monsters at you, you have wonderful skin, and you're so pretty you can pull off a bare face. Lucky little witch” She said this last with a mock-bitter tone, earning her a watery chuckle as she grabbed her many hair accessories from her handbag. She started brushing out the girls curls, wild enough to rival Hermione's, and applying mousse liberally to smooth them down.

“Thanks. D'you just carry all that stuff around with you all the time?” she asked, clearly puzzled.

“Of course I do, you never know when you'll have a hair emergency do you?” Petunia winked, before swiftly securing the smooth chignon with a few bobby pins.

“There you are. Perfect, now lets fix that face.” She handed over a packet of wet wipes and went hunting for her mascara and lip gloss, to complete the look. A few minutes and a lot of wipes later, Marlene looked as good as new. She sent Petunia a smile so wide she couldn't help but feel proud of herself.

“Now, you get out there and deal with that hooligan Sirius Black. Don't _ever_ let any boy make you cry.” She said this in a slightly scolding tone, the way she would with Lily, who hated it.

Marlene though, just flashed her a mischievous grin before replying, “I already did, I walked right over there and upended the punch bowl right over his massive git head!”

“Good enough, I suppose” Petunia allowed, cheering internally.

“Honestly Tuney, thanks. Lily is so lucky to have a sister like you. All I have are brothers and mum says they're far more trouble than they're worth. She's not wrong. I'm going to head back in if you want to come?” Petunia had to swallow down yet another lump in her throat at the compliment.

“No I'm okay, I'm just going to top up my lippy, you go in” she responded, truthfully just wanting to stay away from the judgemental eyes of the snotty purebloods outside for a few minutes more.

“Okay, I'll see you in there. It's.... Is it still okay to keep writing you when I'm at school? It's nice to have someone older to talk to about stuff.”

“I said it was didn't I? Now go on and show off your new hair-do, I don't want my hard work going to waste.”

Petunia smiled brightly at her reflection as she adjusted her hair in the mirror once Marlene had left the spacious bathroom.

_Maybe there is a place for me here,_ she thought to herself, _Maybe I don't have to be exactly like Lily to be a part of her world. Maybe I can carve out a place for myself. Maybe I don't have to be alone._

A wonderful warm feeling spread throughout her body, the dreadful burden of loneliness she had carried with her for the past few years lessening slightly. It radiated from her chest to her fingertips as she thought of the cute boy, _Dorian,_ and the letters, and the admiration from Lily's friends, and she felt uplifted. It felt a little like hope.

**Black Family Manor, Abergele, Wales, 23 rd December 1972**

“ _Legilimens!”_

Hermione felt beads of sweat pool at her upper lip as she fought the intrusion once again. The man in front of her had been testing her shields relentlessly for almost half an hour and her head was starting to pound, her vision was blurry and her ears were ringing. Still though, she hadn't given in. She felt her chest swell with pride at the thought. Her new shields, far better than in her previous life, had been hard fought and hard won, but she was confident that they would hold up to all but the most skilled of legilimens.

“Well done girl, you're better than I would've thought. You need to work more on your false memories mind you, the attention to detail is what really makes or breaks the illusion and the inconsistencies will be obvious to anyone skilled enough. For our purposes though, you'll do.”

_I'll do?_ Hermione bristled at his assessment, pride seriously bruised. She wasn't used to being criticised, not in this life anyway, and she found that she didn't care all that much for it. She remembered a version of her that had once thrived on constructive criticism and advice from her superiors. At the moment, she couldn't think of a single reason why. She felt shame and anger twist uncomfortably in her gut as she fought to keep her face neutral.

“Thank you, sir” Her tone was cold and emotionless, and she could see Cepheus staring at her quizzically. Arcturus just barked out a laugh, eerily reminiscent of a future version of his most unruly grandson.

“Need to work on controlling your face, too. Listen here girlie, You more than anyone know just how serious a task you have ahead of you, and-”

Hermione opened her mouth to interrupt but was stopped by a raise of the older man's hand. She was enraged. _How dare he lecture her! As if she didn't know the risks involved. As if she hadn't watched friends die right in front of her._

“-listen! There's no place for pride here. You might have a handful of memories from some other version of you, but that doesn't change the facts. Right in the here and now, you are a _child._ A talented, fairly quick one at that, but no less a child. You've got a lot to learn, so sit down, shut your mouth and have the good sense to absorb everything the world has to teach you. If you're so clever, lady, then you know how important it for you to be the best you can be.”

Hermione felt the same twist of shame at the reprimand. He was right, she knew. This was most definitely something about herself that she would have to work on if she was to live up to her full potential. Where in another life she had been just as intelligent as she was now, she had been equally as unsure of herself, prone to fits of self doubt. In this life though, she knew exactly how good she was, and took great pride in it. Clearly to an unhealthy degree. Thinking further on it, it was definitely a trait she shared with her twin brother. No, she would need to keep herself in check and take any advice she could get from people who knew better, lest she cross the thin line that separated confidence from arrogance.

“I'm sorry sir. You're right. I'll work on it.” she nodded stiffly, still not completely certain how to behave around the eldest Black. He seemed to swing between being as formal as Professor McGonagall and as gruff as Alastor Moody at any given moment, with no discernible pattern to account for the switch. She decided to go for respectful, determining that to be the safest approach in either case.

“Good. There's nothing wrong with knowing your worth. You're a talented girl Miss Snape, but there's always someone out there who's better. Remeber that, and don't allow yourself to get complacent.” He offered her a small smile before crossing the room to ruffle Ceph's hair on his way out of the study.

“Oi! Grandad, watch the hair!” He ran his fingers gently through his carefully styled hair with a scowl, trying to set it back into place. Clearly, Harry in this life was slightly more concerned with his appearance. Not surprising, considering Hermione couldn't think of one Black who wasn't at least a little bit vain. Even Tonks had spent far too long on any given morning making sure her clothes were ripped _just enough_ to be considered artful instead of scruffy. Arcturus just barked that laugh again before leaving to re-enter the Christmas party.

“Honestly Ceph, your hair is fine, stop fussing!”

“Fine, Let's go then.” He stopped his obsessive preening with a huff as he made to follow his grandfather out the door.

Hermione was just gearing up to deliver a playful jab at his new found vanity as they walked down the hallway when she was stopped in her tracks by a thoroughly breathless Regulus Black. Usually the picture of poise, the young boy looked slightly ridiculous bent over with his hand on his knees as he panted, searching for air to fill his lungs. As a bookworm and fellow hater of all outdoor activities, she could tell that he needed to work on his fitness. She might have laughed if she were not so concerned by the look on his face. He was pale, paler than usual, and his expression was stricken, as if he wasn't entirely sure of what he had just seen.

Cepheus quickly jumped into action, kneeling down to grasp his youngest brother firmly by the shoulders and shake him gently. The look of brotherly concern was plain to see as he spoke in a gentle tone.

“Reggie, mate, is everything okay?”

Regulus just shook his head slowly, eyes filling with tears as he straightened up, finally coming back to himself.

“What happened then? Come on, tell us what happened and we'll get it sorted out yeah?”

He nodded, opening and closing his mouth a few times before finally managing to squeak out; “Mother...Sirius...in the drawing room, she was....hurting him.”

Hermione was shocked by the immediate change in her best friend. Where Harry's rage had been fire; bright and destructive and impossible to hide, Cepheus' was ice. A hard veneer of cold, calculating fury washed across his face, obliterating any trace of his usually eminent good nature. His posture became stiff and formal, and when he spoke, his tone was clipped and cool. He simmered in a way that reminded her, worryingly, of an older Severus right before he would lay into Harry for some perceived slight.

“Reg, go to the hall and get grandfather. Hermione, this is family business, you can't come. Go back to the party, I'll tell what I can when I can.”

She was more than slightly hurt by his dismissal. _Weren't_ they _family? Hadn't she always stood beside him when there had been trouble? Were things so different between them now that he no longer trusted her to help him?_ Her face must have betrayed her thoughts, because as soon as Regulus had turned and started jogging in the opposite direction, her best friend leveled her with a glare.

“Hermione, I don't have time for your hurt feelings right now. You _can't_ come. You're a half-blood completely unrelated to my family, with my mother being who she is you'd only exacerbate things. So please, _go back to the fucking party!”_

She nodded glumly, “Yes, of course. You're right. Exactly right, go to your brother.” He moved forward and squeezed her shoulder tightly, offering her a moment of comforting reassurance before moving swiftly down the long hallway that lead away from the ballroom.

Hermione took a deep breath, trying to get her shaky breathing back to some normal pattern before returning to the party. She tried her best not to think about what Sirius might be going through down the hall, or about her wounded pride. Instead she forced her mind to wander to Christmas, and the new red and gold scarf she had knitted for Remus. She had only just learned from her mother how to use more than one colour, and was exceedingly proud of herself. She had also made him some tablet, hoping to indulge his sweet tooth in something other than chocolate for once. Not that it was any better for him, but at least she could expand his horizons somewhat.

As if summoned by her thoughts of him, she found Remus leaning casually against the wall nearest the door, smirking at her when she met his eyes, as if he had been waiting for her. Something within her glowed with warmth at the thought.

“Daydreaming again? I hope you went somewhere pleasant?”

She smiled, this was her favourite of all of their little games. “Oh yes, away to a far off land on the back of a Chimaera to complete some noble quest with the assistance of my loyal werewolf companion. Many shenanigans and much skulduggery ensued.”

“Naturally.” he agreed, pushing off the wall with his foot to join her as she walked towards the drinks table. “So, this werewolf. Anyone I know?” he inquired, small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Certainly not. He's far too gentlemanly to hang around with the likes of you!” She stuck her nose in the air imperiously.

“Ah, my deepest apologies. I did not mean to offend madam. How may I repay you for my presumption?” He bowed and scraped in an exaggerated manner all the way over to the punch bowl, handing her a glass solemnly. She was guffawing loudly at his antics as she accepted the drink, and when she caught the disapproving stares from the older witches and wizards present, it only made her laugh harder. Remus looked rather pleased with himself as he grabbed a drink for himself and straightened back up.

“Have you seen Sirius by the way? James was asking about five minutes ago but I haven't seen him since Marlene dumped the first punch bowl on his head.”

Hermione sobered immediately, all of a sudden feeling guilty for her momentary distraction. Sirius was going through a horrible time and here she was, laughing! Remus must have sensed her shift in mood as he reached over and grabbed her hand as if it were the most natural thing in the world, squeezing it reassuringly. _There was that warm glow again._ He asked again, softer this time, brow wrinkled in concern.

“Hermione, where's Sirius?”

“I don't know, exactly” she answered quietly, biting her lip anxiously as she watched a gaggle of girls from her year enter the ballroom from who knows where. She hated lying to Remus more than anyone but she knew that he, like her, would want to go charging in to help. “Some family thing came up, Ceph said, but it didn't look like anything good.”

“Right.” He relaxed slightly, but not all the way, his hand still holding hers a little tighter than was strictly necessary. “Well, try not to worry, he'll most likely be back soon and it'll have been nothing.”

Hermione hummed non-committally, eyes downcast. She doubted very much that it was nothing. She had hoped that Sirius would escape this particular betrayal this time around. Apparently some things were simply inevitable, not matter what they tried to change.

“Oi! You two, it's supposed to be a party! My God, you look like someone just told you Quidditch was cancelled” James bounded towards them with Severus and Lily in tow, voice booming as he admonished them.

“Overjoyed?” Hermione deadpanned.

“Indifferent?” Remus smirked.

“Oh I'm sorry I forgot I was talking to a pair of Quidditch haters. Also known as Lucifer's minions, just so you know.”

“Minion? How dare you! I'm an associate at the very least.” Hermione scoffed with feigned anger.

“That's not inaccurate.” Severus muttered under his breath.

“Fine then. You can be Satan, Remus can be _your_ minion.” Lily said brightly, eyes sparkling with mirth as she took in the sight of their joined hands.

“Gladly” Remus said happily, refusing to rise to the bait, although his ears were very obviously turning red.

“Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom, this scene is simply sickening” Severus said grumpily, shooting Remus a mocking glare.

Hermione smiled again, cheered by the easy banter of her friends. This is what they could do to help. If Sirius couldn't have his mother's love, she would make sure that he got it in spades from them, from their little Hogwarts family. They would fill all the cracks and empty spaces with laughter and light, just like the Evans' had done for her and Sev all those years ago.

_**Black Family Manor, Abergele, Wales, 24 th December 1972** _

“ _Has she ever done this before?”_

_Hesitation. “A few times. When you were away at Hogwarts that first year. A couple of times over the Summer when you were staying with Grandad. She always made sure I was healed up before anyone saw.”_

“ _Merlin Sirius, Why didn't you say anything?”_

“ _I dunno, Ceph. It's embarrassing. It's weird. My mother hates me so badly that she likes to beat me up sometimes. Not to mention the curses. It just felt too... too personal I suppose.”_

“ _I thought you and me could talk about anything?”_

“ _Not this. You're the Golden Child. Something like this would never happen to you. Everyone loves you.”_

Cepheus sat at the bedside of his younger brother, holding his hand as he slept. The bruising across his ribs and torso were already fading to a pale yellow, aided by the pot of orange bruise paste on the bedside table. The cut across his lip and eyebrow were gone, and the black eye had faded away too, leaving his pale face flawless. He looked years younger as he snored gently, reminding Cepheus of the toddler who had followed him around, calling him “Seffy” until he was five.

His hands still trembled in his sleep, an after effect from the curse. Ceph ran his thumbs over the back of the one he was holding, silently begging forgiveness. He couldn't believed he had missed it. Couldn't believe he had honestly thought he had his mother handled. What was it grandfather had said to Hermione?

_Don't get complacent._

That's exactly what he had done. He had gotten complacent, hadn't kept a close enough eye on the situation and now Sirius had been the one to pay the price.

“ _Ceph, why would mum do that? I don't understand”_

_Sigh. “I don't know Reggie. I don't know if she's mad, or bad, or just sick.”_

“ _What are we going to do? I don't want to go home. That was... it was scary.”_

“ _I know mate. Don't worry, we won't be going home for a good while, Grandfather is sending for our things, we'll be staying at the manor for the foreseeable future.”_

_A firm nod.“Good. I'm glad. D'you think Kreacher can come and stay too?”_

“ _No, I'm sorry Reg, he belongs to Mum and Dad. He has to stay there.”_

_An angry huff. “He's a person! He's my friend. He shouldn't BELONG to anyone”_

Cepheus smiled at the memory of his youngest brother. Hermione was going to _adore_ him. Pandora would too. The smile promptly dropped from his face as he heard Sirius whimper from his place in the bed as he shifted in his sleep. He had honestly thought that his presence in his mother's life had changed her somehow, made her better. He just hadn't been able to reconcile the woman who had cared for him when he was ill, and held him so gently when he had cried as a boy, with the twisted portrait he had known at Grimmauld Place. He knew she could be sharp with her words, and her views on blood purity offended him on a deep level, but he had thought that at her heart she was still trying to do her best for her sons. How could he have possibly thought his presence had tempered her?

_How's that for arrogance Grandad?_ He thought bitterly.

“I hope you're not moping in here, cousin?” Narcissa floated gracefully across the room to sit in the vacant chair beside him at Sirius' head.

“Moping? No. I'm just lamenting how spectacularly I've failed as a brother and heir.” He remarked bitterly, sounding very much as if he _was_ moping.

Narcissa chuckled humourlessly as she reached over to stroke Sirius' hair softly, in a way that was almost maternal.

“When I was five years old,” she began, not looking at him as her attention was still focused on Sirius hair, “Aunt Walburga hit me in the hand with a full-powered Stinging Jinx at the Samhain Gala because I tried to sneak an empire biscuit before the guests had arrived. My hand was so swollen and bruised I had to go to St. Mungo's to get it fixed. Mother and Cousin Dorea were so angry they cursed her blind for three whole days.”

Cepheus snorted as he thought of the two women; it certainly sounded like their brand of justice. They weren't unlike Hermione in that way.

“Sounds like them. I don't see what point you are trying to make though. Other than to tell me that my mother has always been an awful person.”

“Exactly” Narcissa agreed, finally locking eyes with him. “Walburga has _always_ been awful. You've only been spared her ill will thus far because you are the heir; her shining jewel. Reggie is spared because he stays out of her way and never does anything of note except read and chat with that ridiculous elf, but that wouldn't have been able to last forever.”

Cepheus opened his mouth to disagree, but Narcissa stopped him, gently removing his hand from Sirius' and placing it in her own. “No Cepheus. None of this is your fault. You did the best that you could, but it was always going to be this way between Sirius and her. He's too loud, too irrepressible and too good to ever be able to play the part of the perfect son the way you do. And even if he wasn't, it still wouldn't be enough for her. I need you to really hear this, and understand me clearly; you are a wonderful person, we all love you dearly and you done every single thing that you could to help.”

Cepheus nodded slowly and then, to his great embarrassment, he started to cry. Narcissa gathered him up into her arms and rocked him gently, pushing his hair back from his face and whispering soothing sentiments into his ear until finally, he fell asleep, exhausted with emotion.

She levitated him through to his own bedroom before carefully removing his shoes and pulling the covers up to his chin.

“Goodnight, cousin. Sleep well, it'll all look better in the morning.”

**A/N: Okay, so this chapter ended up being super long! Let me know what you guys think.**

**Thanks so much for reading** ,

**Til next time,**

**SJ**


	11. Marauders Assemble

Chapter 11: Marauders Assemble

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment ***

**A/N: Here's another one, a bit more light hearted to make up for the end of the last chapter. I was super nervous to do this scene and had to deal with some major writers block, but I hope it turned out okay.**

**Hogwarts, Scotland, March 10 th 1973**

Hermione could feel herself tremble with excitement as she lay awake in her four-poster bed, waiting for her first morning alarm to go off signifying the earliest acceptable time to get up. She had been eagerly anticipating this day for weeks, preparing for it for the better part of a year.

Today was the day they would reveal their Animagus forms to Remus.

Hiding it from him until now had been nothing short of a miracle. Firstly, there was that uncomfortable two week period after they had discovered their forms when James and Lily hadn't been able to look each other in the eye without blushing, making Sev even surlier than usual.

“ _Hermione?”_

“ _Yes?”_

“ _What's wrong with James and Lily? Why are they acting so strangely with each other? Normally you can't get them to shut up. Have they said anything to you?”_

_Hermione looked him straight in the eye. “I have no idea what you're talking about Remus, they seem perfectly fine to me.”_

_Remus frowned in confusion, eyes flicking over to Lily who was currently engaged in an odd and overly polite dance of “after you...no I insist” with James after they had reached toward the same toast platter._

“ _Sirius? Any ideas?”_

_Sirius plastered the most unconvincingly innocent expression on his face that Hermione had ever seen. “Remus mate, I honestly think you might be seeing things. Everything is right as rain, right James?”_

_James, as it happened, was not paying attention. He was too busy staring at Lily wistfully, butter knife suspended in the air over his toast as he watched her shuffle quickly out of the Great Hall towards to library._

“ _Ouch! What the hell was that for you git!” He rubbed his forehead, which now sported a bright red mark from where Sirius has just hit him with an orange, painfully zapping him back to the present._

“ _I was just telling Remus here about how everything is_ completely normal _and how there have been absolutely no significant developments between you and Evans whatsoever.”_

“ _Were you?” James asked, still rubbing his head, looking faintly baffled until he caught Hermione's severe look over Remus' shoulder. “Oh. Right. Yep everything is one hundred percent absolutely average here.”_

_Remus stared at them all with a look that suggested he was debating whether or not his friends needed to be committed to the Janus Thickey Ward._

“ _Okay, if you say so. I think I'll just go and join Lily and Sev in the library then.”_

_Hermione cringed at the faint hint of annoyance in his tone, and shot him what she hoped was an apologetic smile. He caught her eye and sighed, indicating his head in a way that said he would let it go._

Then there had been the incident with Sirius. Just before Christmas he had gotten stuck with a tail for four days while the rest of the group worked frantically to find a reversal spell, only to be saved by a thoroughly amused Gideon Prewett. He had slipped Hermione a small, battered copy of a book she'd never heard of called “Transfiguration Terrors: Ten Fail-Safe Fix Alls” when he had seen her searching desperately for a solution in the library. He departed with a wink and the advice to try page 52. Thankfully, it had worked like a treat and the tail was gone. Not before it had been seen by Remus, however.

Sirius, a consistently terrible liar, panicked and said the first thing that came to his mind. Namely, that Marlene had cursed him after he nicked her favourite bra from the Quidditch changing rooms. Remus had been unconvinced, whether he doubted Marlene's notoriously terrible transfiguration skills or Sirius' current possession of all of his limbs after such a prank was unclear. Either way, he demanded proof. He had been annoyingly suspicious of his friends ever since the James and Lily incident. Although to be fair to Remus, mysteriously growing a tail overnight was pretty odd behaviour even for Sirius. In the end, it was left to Hermione to elicit Marlene's help.

“ _Marlene. Lovely Marlene. Have I congratulated you yet on making the Quidditch team? What a talented Beater you are. Fantastic arm.” Hermione flopped down on the blonde girl's bed cheerfully._

“ _Yes. Two months ago, along with James and Sirius. You signed the card Dorcas made us.” She glared at her dark-haired friend as she steadied her hand to continue painting her toenails a fetching shade of purple._

“ _Oh. Right. Well, congratulations again. It's well deserved, truly.”_

“ _What is this? What do you need?” Her eyes narrowed suspiciously._

_Hermione sighed. Apparently her skills at charm and deception weren't much better now than they had been in her other life._

“ _Okay, so here's the thing...I need your bra.”_

“ _My bra?” Marlene raised her eyebrow in a near perfect imitation of Petunia._

“ _Yes, And I need you to go along with an extremely odd and ill crafted lie.”_

“ _Oh is that all?” she scoffed sarcastically, but Hermione could see the amusement glittering in her pale blue eyes._

“ _Yes. Oh wait, No. Also, you can't ever ask me why.” Hermione thought this may have been the most bizarre favour she'd ever asked of a friend in either life._

_Not as bizarre as asking your very breakable teenage friends to teach your oddly endearing giant half-brother English, though. So at least she was marginally less ridiculous than Hagrid._

_Marlene looked to be considering it. “Okay, you can have it. But only if you help me adjust my hair removal potion to make it resistant to Hair Growth serums and thickening charms.”_

“ _Done.” At the time it had seemed like a fairly low price to preserve the surprise for Remus. Sirius, who had spent the better part of January completely bald, disagreed._

Nevertheless, the proof was obtained and the lie maintained. By the time they had all managed their complete transformations, the entire group were sick and tired of the sneaking around, and wanted to reveal themselves to Remus immediately. Hermione though, had argued that it was only 2 weeks until his birthday. Surely they could keep it a secret until then? She had nagged, wheedled and cajoled the rest until they had fallen in line. Ceph had been the easiest, he knew from years of friendship that absolutely not good could come from arguing with her when she was so determined. Sirius, the most desperate to show off his skills had been the hardest to convince. She regrettably had to result to threats against his precious (only recently fully grown back) hair to get him to agree. Sev hadn't really cared either way.

That had brought them to today. Hermione jumped out of bed the second her alarm sounded signalling seven o'clock. It was fairly early for a Saturday, even by her standards, but she had a busy morning ahead. She had managed to get the House Elves to agree to allow her to make Remus' cake herself, and to help with the preparations for the small birthday lunch she had organised for everyone at noon. She felt the nervous anticipation buzz through her veins as she hurried through her morning routine.

_Oh I really hope he likes it._

**Room of Requirement, Hogwarts, Scotland, March 10 th 1973**

Remus was not a stupid boy. He knew that there was something his friends weren't telling him, but he had decided to let them keep their secrets if that's what they wanted. He couldn't pretend not to feel more than a little hurt to be left out, but then again hadn't he kept a massive secret from them for months when they had first become friends?

But maybe that was why it stung so much. He had thought, after trusting all of them with his biggest secret, maybe they would trust him just as much. It didn't help that he seemed to be the only one not in on whatever it was that was going on. He had fallen into more than one painful bout of rejection and sadness, convinced that his friends had grown tired of him. But then, Sirius would force him to come out and join in on one of his more ill-advised pranks, or James would slip him an extra chocolate frog at lunch, or Hermione would march up to his dorm room to find the scarf she knitted him for Christmas and proceed to wrap it around his neck, insisting that he'd catch his death otherwise. It was very confusing. It didn't seem like they were pulling away. In fact, apart from the blatantly obvious lies and general shifty behaviour, nothing had seemed different at all.

He was lost in his pondering as he exited the Common Room, intending to head to the Great Hall for an early lunch after his shockingly long lie-in, when he was accosted by two very familiar soon-to-be deceased dormmates of his.

“Remus, old chap, this is a kidnapping. You are being kidnapped, come along now don't fight it.”

Remus glared at where he thought Sirius might be standing, not that it would make one bit of difference considering the makeshift blindfold they had placed on him. They had somehow, within the space of ten seconds, managed to have his arms and legs bound with spell-o-tape, gag him with what he dearly hoped was a clean sock and cover his eyes with a Gryffindor tie.

As far a birthdays went, this wasn't the best start. _Not the worst either though,_ he thought darkly as he remembered his fifth birthday spent in St. Mungo's, still recovering from Greyback's attack a few weeks earlier.

“Stop struggling mate, we're on strict orders from Hermione!” Maybe-James insisted. Remus tried to scoff, but ended up choking on a bit of cloth instead. The thought that Hermione of all people would approve this kind of manhandling was ludicrous. No, this was an obvious case of James and Sirius' artistic interpretation. He decided at this point that the best course of action was just to give in to their prodding, and let them march him to wherever it was he was supposed to be going, lest he wake up covered in hundreds of finger-shaped bruises.

They had been walking for what he calculated to be about five minutes when he heard one of his captors knock three times on a door. He was then unceremoniously shoved through to fall flat on his face.

“James, what the fuck is this?!” Lily shouted indignantly, “Hermione said to _collect_ him not kidnap him!” Remus grunted his wholehearted approval of Lily's anger.

“Well he's here isn't he” James replied sheepishly.

“Lily did you make sure the- Oh Merlin! Remus! You complete and utter twats!” Hermione rushed to help Remus up off of the floor and started hastily removing the tape and gag, checking him over for injuries as she went. “Are you alright?” she asked worriedly as she removed his blindfold.

He was dumbstruck. A beautiful hand-painted banner, Pandora's work most likely, reading _Happy 13th Birthday Remus!_ Hung on the wall over a table heaving with all of his favourite foods. Chicken sandwiches, two types of soup, biscuits and – _oh my god!_ The most marvellous looking chocolatey chocolate cake he'd ever seen. The small room, looking similar to the Gryffindor common room, was decorated liberally with red and gold balloons and streamers, and all of his friends were gathered in the centre, looking at him with warm smiles. Or in Hermione's case, nervous anticipation.

“Surprise?”

He let out a loud, whooping laugh as he grabbed her and spun her around in a giddy circle.

“This is brilliant, Hermione!” He set her down gently, grasping her elbow as she stumbled dizzily, gratitude and affection obvious in his gaze, “No-one has ever done anything like this for me before. Thank you!”

Hermione gifted him with her her widest, goofiest smile as her heart soared. This was exactly what she had wanted when she had put together this little party. More than anyone she knew, he deserved one day of pure joy. Neither noticed they had been locked in a silent exchange of emotions until they were interrupted by an indignant voice.

“Hey! We helped too! Pandora painted a banner, Lily and Sev decorated, and Sirius and I arranged a whole kidnapping! Where's our hug? Honestly, the ingratitude!”

Remus was too happy to be embarrassed at being caught staring at Hermione, _again._ He approached the aforementioned boy with a glint in his eye that hinted at trouble.

“Oh I'm sorry James, where are my manners? It wouldn't do to have you left out” James looked like he was regretting his earlier interruption, not liking the look his friend was giving him.

“No, I was just er-kidding. That's alright mate.” But it was too late. Remus, who was considerably stronger than his scrawny, bespectacled friend, grabbed him by the middle and picked him up easily. James laughed and yelled as he was spun around faster and faster, until they both began to stumble, finally collapsing in a wheezing heap.

“Better?” Remus chuckled, breathless.

“Much.” James nodded back, wide smile plastered across his red, sweaty face.

“Bloody Gryffindor nonsense” Severus grumbled, his tone at odds with the small smirk he wore.

**Hogwarts, Scotland, March 10 th 1973**

“Okay, so we have one more surprise.” Remus raised one eyebrow suspiciously as Sirius' stood up with a dramatic flourish.

“Finally, _finally,_ our lord and master Hermione has allowed us to let you in on the secret that we've been keeping from you for the better part of a year.” His face fell at Remus' utter lack of surprise that his friends had been hiding something from him.

“You could at least act a _bit_ surprised Remus,” Lily huffed, clearly not thrilled at the realisation that they had not been as inconspicuous as she'd hoped, “We've worked bloody hard on this surprise, and Hermione has been a nightmare!”

“I have not!”

“Yes you have,” Severus agreed, ignoring his sister's look of betrayal as he continued “You can't all honestly have believed you were fooling him. You Gryffindors have all the subtlety of an Erumpent in heat.”

“Watch yourself, _little brother,_ or I'll be forced to remind you just how sneaky this particular Gryffindor can be!” Hermione snapped, narrowing her eyes in warning, much to Remus' amusement. Cepheus however, looked fearful while Pandora looked as unaffected as always. He coughed twice, clearing his throat as he brought everyone's attention back to the matter at hand.

“Right then, back to this super secret surprise we can all agree I had absolutely no idea about until this very moment?”

“That's the spirit!” James replied as Lily shot him an amused grin.

If Remus had thought that Hermione had looked nervous earlier, now she looked downright apprehensive. She stood up, wringing her hands and biting her lower lip nervously as she looked around the room, seemingly unable to find the words to begin.

“Remus, you know that we all love you, dearly,” she finally began, continuing as Remus nodded his agreement, “And we all hate that you have to spend the full moon alone, and so we all thought-”

“You thought,” Lily interrupted unhelpfully, “This one was all you Hermione.”

“Yes, _thank you_ Lily” Hermione sighed. “Well _I_ thought we might be able to come up with some kind of way to make things a bit easier for you, and I think we-” A cough from her left that sounded suspiciously like Cepheus, “ _I_ have found a solution. What do you know about Animagi?”

Remus blinked in confusion. _This_ was the big secret? He was more than slightly touched at the sentiment but it hardly seemed worth the months of sneaking around.

“You want to become Animagi?” he clarified. He continued on when he was met with silence. “I appreciate the thought more than you know, but the magic is extremely advanced. There aren't many fully trained witches and wizards who could manage it never mind.... what the fuck?!”

He had failed to notice that in the midst of his little speech Sirius had risen from his chair raising his wand and, in a move quicker than the pause between one word and the next, transformed. Remus looked as though he had been hit over the head with a large brick. He shook his head in disbelief, unable to comprehend what he had just seen. Lily was the first to break, loud laughter bursting out from within her, quickly joined by a rare giggle from Sev. All at once, the rest of the group joined in, thoroughly entertained by the punch-drunk expression on Remus' face.

“Wha- how?” He managed to croak out.

“We've been working on it since we found out, and we finally managed it a couple of weeks ago” Hermione supplied, taking pity on her shocked friend.

“Can I see?” He asked quietly, still unsure whether to believe the evidence of his own eyes.

James grinned and transformed, leaving a young stag in his place. In minutes he was joined by Sev's raven, Cepheus' falcon and Pandora's majestic dapple grey horse. “Not a word” Hermione warned out of the side of her mouth as Lily nervously gathered herself for her own transformation. Remus nodded surreptitiously as he smoothed out his features, determined not to react if his red-headed friends' form was as embarrassing as he guessed it was.

He was shocked then, to discover that on the contrary, her form was gorgeous. A beautiful doe that gambolled merrily about the room. He wasn't sure why Hermione had felt it necessary to warn him, until the young stag joined her, strutting proudly into his line of sight. He fought back a laugh as he realised the reason for the caution, not wanting to embarrass Lily, despite the fact that given the opportunity she wouldn't be likely to return the favour.

“The weirdness between James and Lily before Christmas?” he asked quietly, smiling slightly as he saw Hermione nod back, clearly holding back her own laughter. Well that was one mystery solved.

“Aren't you going to show me your form?” He asked , crossing his arms and nudging Hermione slightly with his hip. He was astonished to see his most confident and composed friend blush as red as a beetroot. What could possibly have her so flustered?

She took a deep breath, trying to make the colour disappear from her face by sheer force of will. She would _not_ be childish about this. If bloody James Potter could deal with this, then so could she. Hermione gave her friend a shaky smile and made her way over to the centre of the room, too focused to notice the rest of her friends transition back to their previous two-legged states to watch Remus' reaction to her form. She closed her eyes and focused on the rhythm of her heartbeat, willing hands to become paws, hair to become fur, nose to become muzzle. After a few seconds that lasted an age she finally felt her transformation complete, and opened her eyes to focus on the awe -struck expression on Remus' face. He crossed the room slowly, holding out a hand and slowly running it over her back, petting her in a way that could only be described as reverent. If she had tear ducts, Hermione was sure she would have cried at the tender look he gave her.

All of a sudden, Remus didn't find Lily and James' situation so amusing. He was overwhelmed and overjoyed and confused and grateful and a million other emotions that didn't fit neatly into any category. Seeing Hermione's form, it finally hit him that he wasn't alone any more. He didn't even notice the silent tears that had slipped from his eyes as he turned around to face his friends, the ones he was sure he would never have after Greyback had infected him. The friends he was sure would turn their backs the second they learned what a monster he was. The friends who continued to surprise him with their compassion and dedication.

“Thank you. Thank you all. I'm not sure how I could ever make this up to you, but I promise I'll try. I never thought I was worthy of kindness, or friendship, but you have all given it to me freely. And now this. You don't know how much it means to me.”

“Piss off Moony, you numpty.” This from a clearly crying Sirius, who proceeded to immediately grab the other boy into a tight embrace.

“Hey, don't forget about me!” James pouted, running towards his friends to join in. Lily grabbed a reluctant Severus towards the rapidly growing group hug. Hermione transformed back into her human form and made her way over, bringing Ceph and Pandora with her. As she sobbed and laughed along with the rest, she leaned over to whisper to Ceph; “I can't believe we get to be a part of this. Thank you for coming back with me.”

“I wouldn't want to be anywhere else” he replied, squeezing her tightly.

Remus' head emerged from the middle of the huddle “Wait a minute. Moony?”

“It's your Animagus name. Your _Marauder_ name. James and I have decided to give this little ensemble a name. And the nicknames are so we can talk about Animagus stuff around other people and not seem suspicious.”

“Absolutely not.” Severus said firmly, extricating himself from the hug and folding his arms stubbornly.

“We've been over this, we took a vote. We will hence forth and forevermore be known as the Marauders. It's been decided, deal with it Sev” James replied smugly.

“Okay, and does everyone else get one of these _delightful_ names? I mean, Moony? Really?” Remus tried to look annoyed, but was still too happy to be completely successful.

“Yep. Everyone got assigned someone to give a name to. We drew names out of a hat and everything. James got you, you lucky boy.” Sirius gave him a cheeky wink before flopping down onto a nearby sofa.

“Okay, so what's everyone else's then?” He asked, not entirely sure he wanted to know.

“Well, we were going to do the reveal tonight, since you know now” Lily explained, getting comfortable in the armchair she was squished into beside Sev.

“I'll go first.” Hermione announced, having finally wiped the tears from her eyes and settled into the sofa beside Sirius. “Sev, you're Poe.”

“Poe?” he asked suspiciously, “As in Edgar-Allen?”

“Because you're a -”

“Raven, yes I get it. Very clever.” He rolled his eyes, but the fact he wasn't sneering showed that he knew it could have been much worse.

And so it went on; James became Prongs , courtesy of Lily, Sirius was named Padfoot by Remus on the spot and Lily became Bambi.

“Bambi was a boy!” Lily yelled indignantly, clearly not a fan of her name despite the fact that it was one of her very favourite films.

“You tell me how many other famous deer you've heard of then!” Severus snapped back, “And anyway, it's not like we're ever going to use these ridiculous names.” Sure enough, from that day onwards Sirius would call Lily 'Bambi' at every available opportunity.

“Ceph, what did you call Pandora?” Remus interrupted, swiftly moving on from the spat that was clearly about to break out without intervention.

“Starlight, Star for short,” he mumbled in reply, feeling heat rise to his cheeks.

“Well, that's quite lovely, thank you Cepheus.” She smiled brightly, eyes sparkling behind her round glasses.

“Okay Star-girl,” Sirius nodded, “What's Ceph's name?”

“Harry” she deadpanned. Hermione froze, while Ceph looked like he had been slapped.

“Harry? That's a stupid name” James scoffed.

“Hey! That's my dad's name you prat!” Lily huffed angrily.

“A stupid name for a _bird._ ” He insisted.

“Well, I think it's quite a lovely name for a falcon. Especially one with green eyes.” Pandora said airily, ignoring the strange looks she was getting from around the room. All at once Hermione and Ceph realised what she was doing. She was giving Harry his name back! She was playing up her dotty act so that he could go by his old name again. The girl was brilliant. It also made Hermione wonder how often Luna had done the same back in her old timeline. Ceph's smile was brilliant as he spoke.

“Harry it is then!”

“It can't be a _normal_ name!” Sirius groaned, “That goes completely against the spirit of the assignment.”

“Pandora picked Harry, so that's what I'll answer to. It's that or nothing.” Ceph, no – _Harry,_ said firmly, glaring at his younger brother.

“Fine! Harry it is then. You are a strange girl Pandora, but we love you anyway” Sirius acquiesced.

“Thank you! Hermione's name now, Padfoot.”

Sirius grinned wickedly as he looked Hermione dead in the eye.

“Everyone, meet Sunny.”

Remus and Hermione groaned in unison, trying to fight their twin blushes as the room descended into mad laughter once again.

**A/N: Well? What did you think? I am sincerely hoping to move the timeline along significantly in the next few chapters, but no promises since you all know how terrible I am at that!**

**Thanks so much for reading** ,

**Til next time,**

**SJ**


	12. Make it Good

Chapter 12: Make it Good

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment ***

**AN: Okay guys, angst up ahead! But also some sweetness so never fear. Thanks again to all of you awesome reviewers last chapter, you guys really inspire me and push me to write more.**

**Hogwarts, Scotland, September 8 th 1973**

It was only a week into Hermione's third year and already her friends were causing her untold grief. Sirius had been moody and distant since Regulus had been sorted into Ravenclaw, much to his Grandmother's delight, and Severus had been shooting James dirty looks ever since he had caught Lily staring at the back of the other boy's head in Transfiguration. Lily had snapped at poor Alice when she had innocently announced her newfound crush on James to the dorm, reducing the small girl to confused tears and to top it _all_ off, Marlene and Mary were arguing over a lost hairbrush which had resulted in no less than three screaming matches before the offending item was discovered underneath a pile of Marlene's dirty Quidditch robes. Thank Merlin for Remus.

The final straw for Hermione was when Sirius had punched James in the face at breakfast over some ridiculous Quidditch dispute. James, in an impressive display of speed and agility, immediately launched himself at his best friend sending them both sprawling to the floor, fists flying. Hermione, no stranger to fights in either lifetime, seemed to momentarily forget her wand as she dove towards Sirius who appeared to have somehow gained the upper hand and was now sitting on top of a struggling James. She grabbed him by his drawn back elbow, hanging on with both arms, determined not to let her two friends continue hurting each other until a teacher could arrive and break it up. It didn't take long until McGonagall waded in and started issuing detentions. All three of them had ended up with a week's worth, and a combined seventy five point loss. Hideously unfair in Hermione's opinion since she had been trying to _break up_ the fight, not that her Head of House believed her after her performance with Lucius Malfoy.

Either way, Hermione was _seething._ She was boiling mad at all of her friends for their ridiculous behaviour, but more than that she was concerned. Usually, Sirius and James were closer than brothers, and it seemed wrong somehow to see them trying so earnestly to hurt each other. Not that the fighting was unusual behaviour for Sirius these days. He had been a little more aggressive and moody since the Christmas Ball when he had been forced to move in with his grandfather, skating a thin line between funny and cruel with his pranks. They had gotten used to him snapping at anyone who got in his way when he was in a mood, but this past week had gone far beyond that. He had been picking fights with anyone who would take the bait, and blatantly refused to pay attention in any of his classes. Despite Remus' advice to just leave it alone and let him deal with things on his own, Hermione had decided that she needed to talk to Sirius and see what was going on. Every time she saw hints of the broken man she had once known breaking through on the face of the boy it was like a hot needle had pierced her heart.

She knew that Harry felt the same way, he had tried getting his younger brother to talk three days ago, but had been greeted with nothing but a stone-faced command to mind his own business. Hermione wasn't sure what made her think that she would be any more successful, but she had to try. She made her way up to the third year boy's dormitory, only to hear a male voice coming from that very direction. She knew she shouldn't be nosy, she wasn't _Harry_ for Merlin's sake, so she turned to walk away. Then she heard another familiar voice; a _female_ voice. Curiosity getting the better of her, she sat down against the door frame, listening.

“-on't know what you hoped to achieve with all of that Black, but it's not going to help you.”

“I wasn't hoping to _achieve_ anything McKinnon. Except punching James in his stupid fat head”

Hermione rolled her eyes. James Potter was the scrawniest boy she had ever seen, eleven year old Harry Potter excepted.

“Of course, I always go around punching my friends for no good reason.” she scoffed “And I didn't just find you up here crying like a baby either. Keep living in denial, it suits you.”

He had been crying? Hermione fought the urge to burst through the door and smother him in a Molly Weasley style hug, but she knew that he would not appreciate the coddling or the obvious eavesdropping.

“I wasn't crying!” Sirius insisted hotly, although his voice sounded oddly thick. After a few seconds of silence when Hermione assumed Marlene had fixed him with a disbelieving stare, he finally conceded. “Right, Fine I was crying. Happy now? You can go and tell everyone that Sirius Black is a big girl's blouse, congratulations.” Hermione winced at the familiar bitterness she heard in his tone.

“I wasn't planning on telling anyone,” Marlene replied, voice soft “I just thought that maybe you might want to talk to someone.”

There was a beat of dead air that stretched on for what must have been at least half a minute before finally; “Why is my family so crap?”

Marlene chuckled quietly “All families are at least a little bit crap. My dad and my two next oldest brothers are great, but my oldest brother Marcus pissed off three years ago to marry some ugly pureblood Flint, taking their family name and everything. He told us we were an embarrassment because we're poor, filthy blood traitors. We're not even poor. Not that it matters, but still. Dad earns okay money as an administrator at the DMLE and Mum has her dressmaking business, we do alright. And we're pure bloods, we just don't lord it over people like he thinks we should. But then again, we were never quite good enough for Marcus. And then there's Mum, she rules the house like a fucking dictator, she has all these ideas about how a _young lady_ should behave and I am most definitely not it. I think Marcus got most of his personality from her. Honestly, I spend most of my time at home wishing I was here. So you're nothing special Black, we all have problems.”

Hermione suddenly felt guilty for listening in to what was clearly a very private conversation, but was too afraid to move lest she made a noise and alert them to her presence. She didn't want them to feel embarrassed, and so she stayed where she was.

“Yeah that's really harsh.” Sirius said solemnly “My mum used to knock me about a bit, last Christmas it was so bad I ended up with a concussion and me, Ceph and Reggie have been living with Grandad ever since.”

Hermione heard Marlene's angry intake of breath and couldn't help but smile at her hot-headed friend.

“Your mum is a _fucking arsehole_ Sirius. I hope she gets spattergroit so bad that she ends up with scars all over her face and arse so that she can be as ugly on the outside as she is inside!”

Sirius let out a loud barking laugh at the imagery. “Thanks Marley, me too!”

“Marley?” she scoffed, clearly not a fan of the name.

“Yeah. It suits you I think.” Hermione had to stifle a giggle, she could practically see the scowl on the girl's face.

She sighed. “Fine, Marley it is. Now tell me how your having a rubbish bin for a mum somehow translates to you punching your best friend in the face?”

“It doesn't, I suppose.” He admitted quietly, “But I'm just so angry all the time.”

“I can see that.” Hermione heard the squeaking shift of one bed and then footsteps. If she were to guess she would say that Marlene had just gotten up from one bed and moved to sit beside Sirius. “But I don't see how taking it out on the people who love you makes anything better. All you're going to do is push them away.”

_Fat chance,_ Hermione thought wryly. Nothing short of surgical intervention would keep James from Sirius. Even after the fight, all he had wanted to do was find Sirius and make sure he was alright, but unlike Hermione he had taken Remus' advice and given the boy his space, and was currently working off his nerves on the Quidditch pitch.

“Or maybe that's what you want?” she continued, “You're trying to jump before you're pushed.”

“No. Yeah. I don't fucking know, okay!” Sirius shouted, before promptly and immediately bursting into tears. Soothing shushing noises filled the air, and Hermione hoped that Marlene was holding him tightly.

“Reggie was sorted into Ravenclaw, did you see?”

Marlene, apparently unphased by the sudden non sequitur, answered in the affirmative.

“Mum still sends him letters. And Ceph. Has done since they left, Dad too. Constantly begging and pleading for them to come home, saying how much they love them. They've never sent me a single one. I thought for sure once Reg didn't sort in Slytherin either they'd stop. But they didn't, he got another one this morning. All I got was one letter from dad a few days after Christmas happened saying he was sorry and that it was better for everyone if I just stayed away.”

“Bastard.” Marlene snapped angrily. Hermione couldn't agree more.

“Yeah,” he laughed “She never hit Ceph or Reg either. I mean, I am so fucking grateful they didn't have to go through that, obviously I am, It's just...”

“Why you and not them?” Marlene supplied.

“Yeah.”

“You're free Sirius, and she hates you for it. You're free in a way your brothers aren't. They're great people and I like them a lot, but they do what they're told. They dress right, and have 'proper' manners and toe the line. They have their quiet rebellions, Ceph with his choice in friends, and Reg with his House Elves but ultimately, they do what's expected of them. You though, you don't even pretend that you can be controlled by anyone. You run wild and love hard in a way that she couldn't even if she tried, she doesn't know _how._ Any spark of individuality she once had was snuffed out of her a long time ago by the weight of expectation. And then you come along and you're everything she secretly wishes she could be, and she resents it so much, and the jealousy churns around and around inside and twists her up into something ugly. It makes her want to stamp it out of you. To steal your light away. Don't let her. There's nothing wrong with you. It's all her. ”

Hermione realised that she hadn't breathed for the entirety of her speech. She didn't know that Marlene could be so deep, and the haunted quality to her voice made something in her stomach clench uncomfortably.

Sirius cleared his throat. “That's.... Thanks Marley. How do you....?”

“Let's just say that your mum and mines were sprung from the same landfill.”

A rustling of fabric was followed by a loud exclamation from Sirius.

“What the hell? That's.... that's fucking _twisted_ Marlene. How did you get that? _”_

“Blood quill. But you can't tell anyone, okay? Promise me Sirius?” Her voice sounded pleading and panicked all of a sudden.

The clenching sensation tightened until Hermione was sure she would vomit right where she sat. A blood quill? Were there _any_ of her friends who hadn't been through hell and back before they were old enough to apparate?

“I won't” he promised, but he sounded unsure. “But maybe you should-”

“Did you?” she challenged.

“No, but I wish I had. Just think about it okay? And if anything like that ever happens again please come to me. My family can keep you safe. Here.”

“What's this?”

“It's my portkey necklace. It'll take you directly to Black Manor, Grandad's place.”

Hermione felt relief spread through her, at least Marlene would have somewhere go to be safe if she needed it.

“Thanks.”

“How do you deal with it McKinnon? How do you just go around acting like everything is okay?”

“Because I have some good family who love me, great friends, and the knowledge that every day that I live my life the way I want to – I win.”

“That's it?” he scoffed.

“That's it.” She confirmed, “You have some great people here, who would do anything for you. Let them be there for you, and stop being an arsehole.”

They both giggled then, before finally sobering up when Sirius spoke. “Your dad? And your brothers? Do they know about this?”

“Not really. They don't get to see me much when I'm home because I'm always having to help mum with the dresses. I think Matty and Miles suspect _something,_ but they're all up and out of the house with families of their own, and dad works a lot. It only really started a few years back.”

“Why haven't you told them?”

“I don't want to give her the satisfaction. I don't want her to know that it hurts.” There was something like pride in her voice at that. Hermione wanted to scream. This was almost exactly like Harry in his fifth year. Was she the only Gryffindor in history to have any sense of self preservation?

“Well that's just plain stupid. She _knows_ it hurts. That's why she does it. Just say that it's weird and you're embarrassed. Or that you're scared of what she'll do if you tell. It might be less – I don't know – _stoic_ or whatever it is you're going for, but at least it's honest.”

“I just don't want to break my family apart, okay? Is that so wrong?” She snapped defensively.

“Of course not.”

There was a beat of silent understanding that passed between them, a peaceful calm, until;

“...Black?”

“Hm?”

“Why the _fuck_ is my bra hanging above your bed?”

Hermione swiftly stood up and ran for her life.

**Hogwarts Library, Hogwarts, Scotland, September 12 th 1973**

“Sev, we need to talk.” Hermione cast a quick _muffliato_ as she sat down.

“I've already told you, if the bruise paste isn't working, I can't help you.”

“No not that.” She scowled at her brother from across the table, rubbing self-consciously at her still-bruised left cheekbone from where Marlene had thrown her hairbrush as hard as she could at her face in retaliation for giving Sirius her bra.

“Well what then?” He demanded impatiently, “can't you see I've got Arithmancy homework due? I need to get it out the way now if I'm to make it to our regularly scheduled full moon fun.”

“I am aware that you're trying to be sarcastic, but I know that you actually _do_ think its fun, otherwise you wouldn't be out there every full moon, frolicking with the rest of us.”

“I do not _frolic_ ,” he sniffed, “I'm simply keeping my Animagus skills sharp.”

“Hmm, very convincing Sev.”

“Now who's being sarcastic? What do you want _Sunny?_ ”

Hermione bristled, she hated that blasted nickname, mostly because it brought heat to her cheeks each and every time someone used it. Bloody Sirius.

“We need to talk about the way you've been acting with James.”

He stiffened, and his eyes went hard. Hermione rolled her eyes internally, this certainly wasn't going to be easy.

“I have no idea what you're talking about.”

“Shut up. I'm not interested in your denials Severus. I'm your sister, I know you better than anyone. You glare at him, blatantly ignore him at times, and the other day in potions you downright mocked him.”

“I can hardly help it if he's too dim to manage a simple Anti-Sickness Potion” he dismissed with a wave of his hand as he turned his eyes back to his half-written assignment.

“That's bollocks and you know it! It was a dig, you're just lucky that boy is incapable of holding a grudge against a friend. You embarrassed him in front of everyone and it's not on!” When he ignored her, flicking through the heavy textbook he was using for research, Hermione continued. “This is about Lily isn't it?”

That did it. He closed the book with a heavy thud, anger burning behind dark eyes. “I don't like the way he looks at her! He thinks he has some sort of claim on her just because they share a stupid form.”

Hermione tried not to lose her temper, remembering all too well the fragile egos of thirteen year old boys. The last time around, her two best friends had ignored her for months over a scruffy old rat and a broomstick.

“As opposed to the claim you have on her just because you're her friend, you mean?” she was careful to keep her voice even, and to ignore the blush making its way to his usually sallow cheeks.

“Yes! Well, no. I just, I don't like it! Lily's been my friend since we were five years old and now he comes along and thinks he can just take over. I won't let him do it.”

“Let him do what? Look at her?” she tried to be gentle with him but couldn't help the exasperation that edged its way into her voice.

“Yes. Lily's mine, and now he's making her look at him too. I won't let it happen.”

All thoughts of consideration for her brother's feelings were now cast aside, and Hermione was furious.

“Do you hear yourself? Lily's _yours?_ She's a girl not a fancy cauldron, and she can look at whomever she pleases. You can't own people, or control them!” She could feel her chest heaving as her heart rate started to increase. The way he had spoken, that look on his face, he had reminded her of-

“I know that. I didn't mean it like that. She can do what she likes, but I don't have to be happy about it do I? I don't have to be friends with the git.”

“No, you don't. But that's not what this is, you're trying to make Lily choose and you're punishing James when he hasn't done anything wrong. I never knew you could be so manipulative Sev. Like father like son I suppose.” Severus looked as though she had slapped him, all traces of jealousy and anger replaced with slack-jawed hurt and surprise.

“I am _nothing_ like him You take that back!” he demanded, tears swimming in his eyes, refusing to fall.

“Oh really?” Hermione laughed, voice oddly high and shrill. She ignored Madam Pince's curious look and continued her tirade. “ _Who was that bloke Eileen? I don't like the way you were looking at him Eileen. Fancy a piece of that do you? You're mine Eileen, if I can't have you, no one will!”_

“Stop it! I'm not like that. Shut up!” His voice sounded distraught, pupils dilated with fear.

“Maybe not now,” she agreed, her voice as cold as he had ever heard it, “But this is how it starts. Leave off James, and let Lily make her own choices. And if that's James, then _respect_ that. I mean it Sev.”

“Fine. I'll leave off James. Can I go now?” He had finally managed to compose himself, sneer plastered over his face, although his hands still shook where he had begun to gather up his papers.

Hermione nodded once, dismissing him silently as she tried to push down the guilt she felt, tried to push down the overwhelming urge to apologise and beg his forgiveness. He grabbed the last of his things and made a hasty retreat from the library, no doubt in need of some time alone after her verbal assault. Hermione couldn't stop a stray tear from falling as she hoped that she hadn't damaged her relationship with her twin irreparably. He was her first friend, the only one who she had known for her entire life and she hated having to hurt him like that.

“You did the right thing Hermione.” She jerked her head up, surprised to see Pandora and Harry standing before her, invisibility cloak gathered up in his left hand.

“You followed me? How did you get the cloak?” She asked, not sure whether to be grateful or annoyed by their presence.

“Borrowed it. Thought you might need some moral support.” Hermione doubted that James was aware of his own generosity, but decided that she was definitely grateful for her meddling friend's presence. She started to softly cry as he and Pandora both pulled up a chair at either side of her, Harry putting an arm around her shoulder while Pandora patted her back.

“He needed to hear it Hermione. The way Snape was before, with my mum, it wasn't.... it wasn't _right._ Maybe now he'll be able to move on, and you'll have saved their friendship too.”

“Harry's right, he'll thank you for it one day. It was a kindness.” Pandora's airy voice washed over her like a gentle wave, easing her burdens.

“Thank you guys, I feel much better now.” she gave them a small smile, wiping at her eyes as she did.

“That's what friends are for” Pandora said sagely.

“Right you are star-girl” Harry agreed, smiling at the pair of them fondly. “And since you're such a good friend, care to help us out with our Runes essay?”

“Go on then.” Hermione laughed, rolling her eyes. Some things never changed, and for once that was a comforting thought.

“Great! I'll fetch us some books shall I? Harry, you break out those snacks I know you have stashed in your bag.”

Pandora smiled as she made her way towards the back wall of the library where she knew the books on ancient Sumerian runes were kept. She had just located the text she had been looking for when a familiar oily voice came up from behind her, turning her veins into ice.

“Hello, Pandora. Enjoying your first term back at school?”

“Lucius,” she greeted stonily, “What are you doing here? You graduated did you not? Or are you being forced to repeat a year? Your poor father must be so embarrassed.”

He responded smoothly, appearing unbothered by her jibe, but the slight tightening at the corner of his mouth told a different story. “Actually, father is having a meeting with the board of governors and I couldn't pass up an opportunity to visit with my lovely bride-to-be. And getting lovelier every day I see.” He ran his eyes over her lasciviously, making her tense in discomfort.

“Thank you, but I am extremely busy with school work at the moment, so if you'd excuse me.” She grabbed the heavy tome and made to walk back toward her friends, only to find her path blocked.

“Oh but we've barely had a moment together since the betrothal, surely you can spare a few minutes for your future husband?” His tone was dripping with mock-sweetness,and it made her skin crawl.

“How are your studies? Are you enjoying spending time with your little friends? I hope you are. While you can. After we're married, I expect you'll be far too busy for mudbloods and blood-traitors. The Malfoy heirs won't raise themselves after all.”

Pandora was a girl who was extremely slow to anger. She relied primarily on calm and cool logic over fists and screaming matches when it came to problem solving. Most of the time, she had no use for anger. Now though, looking at the smug grin on the cruelly beautiful face of her fiancé, her formally icy veins roared to life, fire pouring into them. Clearly, he had expected to deal with a young, easily intimidated pureblood bride. He was sorely mistaken. She gently placed the book onto a table beside her before raising one hand to cup his face tenderly, and when she spoke, her words were honeyed and gentle.

“Oh Lucius, what am I going to do with you?” She ran her eyes over his face, searching for something, making him shift uncomfortably. “You have some strange ideas about marriage, but never fear, I'll help you. A marriage is a partnership, two people working together towards a greater goal. You'll tell me your dreams and I'll help you get there. I will tell you mines and expect you to do the same. They say marriage is about give and take, and that's true. I'll give you everything you need my love, but let me be clear; I will _never_ allow you to take anything from me that I don't intend to give. That includes my friendships, my independence, my dreams. They belong to me, and you can't have them.” She patted his cheek twice before turning on her heel and walking right past him, past the stacks, past the table where Hermione and Harry sat and straight through the library doors, leaving a sputtering Lucius Malfoy in her wake.

**Room of Requirement, Hogwarts, Scotland, September 12** **th** **1973**

“Pandora? Star? Are you in here?” Harry entered the room to find it was just as they had made it for Remus' birthday, minus the decorations. On the floor, sitting on the rug by the fireplace, was Pandora, dried tear tracks and red eyes the only evidence of her distress. She was sitting cross legged, serene, watching the flames as though they held the answers to all of life's greatest mysteries.

“Can I sit with you?” He asked gently, unsure if he would be welcome. He had spotted Lucius Malfoy emerge from the stacks moments after Pandora had made her exit, and knew that it couldn't mean anything good. He hadn't tipped off Hermione, just in case she decided to try her hand at amateur boxing again, but instead made his excuses and left to find his friend. He knew that despite the eternally unvexed front she put up for everyone, her engagement to the Malfoy heir made her miserable, and it made his heart ache for her.

“Yes of course, come and sit.” she patted the ground beside her in invitation, budging up slightly to make room.

“What happened with Malfoy?”

“Nothing happened Harry,” she sighed, “He's a foolish, spoiled man too used to getting his own way. I dislike him rather a lot, but it can't be helped.”

Harry cringed, from Pandora, that was scathing. “What are the terms? Can't you just, I don't know _not_ marry him?”

“I could,” she mused, “but under the terms of the contract, if I back out, father would forfeit his business and a good chunk of his vault to the Malfoy family. We're already struggling as it is, that's why father made the deal in the first place, the money. I can't do it to mother, she isn't well, and it would destroy her.”

He wanted to cry. He didn't think that anyone should ever be forced to marry someone that they didn't want to. Everyone deserved love, and Pandora more than most. She was pure sunshine, she made everyone around her feel better just by being herself, and she was an unwavering friend. She was just good, a genuinely good soul was rare in this world, but she was definitely one of them.

“I'm sorry Pan, is there anything I can do to help?” The words felt empty and useless, but he had to offer. If there was any way he could make even a part of this situation a tiny bit better he would do it for her.

“Yes, actually, I think there might be” she said softly, still staring into the flames. “Tell me Harry, do you love me?”

He was taken aback by the question, but didn't hesitate when he replied. “Of course I do. You're my best friend.”

“Oh good.” she said lightly, finally turning her head to face him. “Then I know what you can do. What I want, more than anything, is to be kissed just once by a boy who I love, who loves me back.” Her voice cracked with emotion, and the tears started to fall slowly again.

Harry was stunned. Out of a million possibilities this was one he had never considered. Not that she wasn't beautiful of course, he had just never considered kissing her. Now though, with her blonde hair flowing freely half way down her back, blue eyes staring intensely into his, pale skin glistening with tears, it made more sense than anything ever had before. It was simple. He couldn't believe he had waited so long. Of _course_ he should be kissing her. Right now in fact.

He leaned forward, taking a shaky breath as he saw her lips pucker slightly in anticipation. He drew his right hand slowly towards her face, wiping away a tear with his thumb as he leaned in. It was soft, and gentle. Two mouths pressing together sweetly, making stomachs swoop and lips tingle. She moved her hand to rest on his chest as he slid his hand into her hair and deepened the kiss. Soon soft caresses became heated, tongues met, a fist tightened in his shirt, a hand tangled itself in her hair, and oxygen became a thing of the past. It was beautiful, and perfect, and heartbreakingly sad because he knew that she wasn't his. He couldn't keep her. But he could give her this, this one kiss to sustain them, and then no more.

Eventually, the need to breathe won out and they were forced to part, panting heavily as their foreheads met. Harry removed his hand from her hair and instead clasped it with hers. She smiled and squeezed, silently asking him not to let go, so he didn't. They kept holding hands even when they turned back towards the fireplace, staring in silence.

Eventually, Harry was the one to break it; “Star, was that... that was good yeah?” he asked, hating himself for the obvious nerves in his voice.

She smirked into the fireplace, amused by his question. “Yes Harry, it was perfect. Thank you.” He puffed his chest up proudly, his second first kiss had gone far better than his first.

The smile suddenly slid from Pandora's face. “Harry, I'm engaged. This can't happen again. I'm sorry.”

His chest constricted painfully. He had known that going in, but he hadn't known how breathtaking she was then. It seemed too cruel and unfair.

“I know.” he said grimly, clinging to her as desperately as she was to him.

He stood up, helping her to her feet and spinning her around to face him. He placed his hands firmly on her hips and pulled her towards him.

“Harry what are you-”

“If we only get today, if I only get to kiss you this once, then lets make it count.” He pleaded.

She laughed lightly, giddy with grief and excitement as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Okay, Mr. Black, then kiss me. And make it good.”

**A/N: It's all happening! What did you guys think of Marlene? What about Lucius? Lemme know!**

**Thanks so much for reading** ,

**Til next time,**

**SJ**


	13. Valentine's Madness

Chapter 13: Valentine's Madness

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment ***

**AN: It's a bit early, but Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Here comes a little action, a little fluff and a lot of Remus for anyone who's been missing him.**

**Room of Requirement, Hogwarts, Scotland, February 10 th 1974**

“I've been thinking.”

“Of course you have” Harry wasn't sure there was ever a moment when Hermione wasn't contemplating or planning _something._

“We've been back a long time now, and we have to start making some major moves, otherwise we risk wasting this opportunity we've been given.” Every day this thought had persisted, growing louder in her head by the day. Every time she looked at one of her friends, she was battered by images of what could be. Lily, brave and lifeless and broken before her time. Sev, bitter and dark. Remus, ragged and ostracised and heartsick. Over and over the images played themselves out before her like some twisted highlight reel of misery.

“I know.” Harry sighed, annoyed. “But I really don't know what we can do about it right now. There's only one Horcrux we even have access to, never mind the fact that we've no means to destroy it.”

“Hasn't your grandfather had any luck with-”

“No. He's been trying, but basilisk venom is expensive for a reason. No new stuff has come on the market for over a hundred years, and he's not been able to track down anyone who still has a supply.”

“That's what I was afraid of...” Hermione trailed off thoughtfully. Harry didn't like the expression he saw on her face then, mostly because he was far more used to seeing it on himself. It was a look that meant she was about to suggest something incredibly stupid and dangerous. Jumping onto the back of a dragon to escape a poorly executed bank heist, for example.

“What? What are you thinking?” he asked warily, hoping her thoughts didn't mirror his own.

“We'll have to go down to the Chamber of Secrets, slay the basilisk and take its fangs.”

Harry's hopes were instantly dashed. He half-recalled an old saying about great minds and fools who thought alike, and thought that it might apply here somehow.

“I know” he agreed quietly, trying not to remember the smell of blood and the searing pain as deadly venom coursed through his veins. His eyes fluttered shut at the memory of a pale Ginny Weasley lain out on the damp floor like a paper doll, and the gut-wrenching dread as he realised that he was going to die at the tender age of twelve, and the absolute certainty that he still had so much left to do. He didn't want to go back to that place, but he knew that he would have to, or else their second chance here in the past was worse than pointless. It was either this, or learn fiendfyre, and while he was sure Hermione would get there eventually, the practice alone would be hazardous.

“I'm sorry Harry. I know how difficult it must be for you, going back there. But you won't be alone this time.” Hermione slid her hand into his, letting him draw comfort from her for as long as he needed. After a few minutes of silent contemplation, he spoke.

“So, I assume you have a plan then?”

Hermione scoffed, offended by that notion that she wouldn't. “Of course I do. First of all what we need to do is...”

**Hogwarts, Scotland, February 11 th 1974**

Normally, he was an extremely patient person, and very little could get on his nerves. Today though, Remus Lupin was annoyed. Valentine's fever had swept through the castle at an alarming rate, causing the average IQ of its population to drop by at least ten points. Everywhere he went, girls were giggling and pointing, and boys were stuttering and blushing awkwardly, or else scrambling to get a a last minute date to Hogsmeade for later that day. It wasn't even a real holiday for Merlin's sake. Honestly, if he seen one more couple slobbering over each other, he was sure he would puke. Deciding to take a shortcut behind the tapestry on the fourth floor so he could avoid the crowds on his way to breakfast , Remus took a hard left only to find himself face to face with-

“Oh for fuck sake.”

“Oh, hello Remus. On your way to breakfast?”

Remus groaned in embarrassment. There, leaning up against the wall looking thoroughly dishevelled, but not bothered in the least by his interruption, was Pandora. And the young man who had dropped her like a sack of hot potatoes as soon as he heard Remus' voice was Cepheus. He looked equally unravelled with his tie askew and his normally perfect hair sticking up at odd angles. It wasn't _surprising_ necessarily given the way the two had been metaphorically joined at the hip as long as he had known them. It was certainly _unexpected_ however, to walk in on the pair snogging like their lives depended on it. Remus was sure he would never be able un-see Harry's hand pawing desperately at Pandora's behind, his pure and innocent image of the girl forever ruined.

“Er. Yes. Headed that way just now so I'll just, ah, leave you to it. Excuse me.” Remus had barely made it five steps before he felt a hand grip his shoulder tightly.

“Remus mate, can I walk with you a minute?” he asked lightly, though Remus could hear the tension in his voice.

“Yeah sure you can. Don't you need to wait for Pandora though?” he gritted his teeth and tried to pretend that he wasn't screaming inside. Was there no end to the ridiculous soap opera that was Valentines week at Hogwarts? All he wanted was a bacon sandwich or two, maybe three, and to head to Hogsmeade to buy his body weight in chocolate without getting sucked into any drama. Was that too much to ask? Apparently so.

“No, she needs to head to the Room of Requirement to get her book bag, she left it there last night. That's where we were heading. Well not right this minute obviously. But we were on our way.” On any other day, Remus would have been amused by the other boy's babbling. Today though, he wished he would just get to his point and then go away and leave him in peace.

“Yes, fine. What can I do for you Harry?” Remus scowled slightly, feeling his stomach growl in protest at the delay. _Four bacon sandwiches, at least,_ he promised himself as he fought to slow down to keep pace with the older boy.

“What you saw back there. You can't tell _anyone._ ” Harry pleaded.

Remus stopped dead in his tracks, suddenly fuming. “Why? Are you _ashamed_ of her in some way?”

His voice sounded low and dangerous, and had he not been so offended by the suggestion Harry would've taken several steps back.

“No! What the fuck? No, of course not. She's engaged you prat!” Remus appeared to be appeased by this, as his look of contempt was quickly replaced by one of concern.

“I had forgotten. Lucius Malfoy?” at Harry's tense nod he sighed sadly. “I take it this little tryst of yours isn't something the contract allows for then?”

“No, it does actually.” Harry shifted uncomfortably before gesturing to a bench just few feet from the passage's exit. The pair sat as he explained.

“Star's dad isn't a terrible person, just old fashioned. He loves her in his own way, or so she tells me, and wanted to make sure that she wouldn't be mistreated. He refused to add a fidelity clause for her unless they put one in for Malfoy too. Naturally he didn't want to have to wait four years for her to grow up before he could do anything himself, so they left it out. He done the same thing with a clause forbidding physical harm, that one made it in, but at least this way they're both protected. It's all very _modern,_ as far as these things go.” He spat the last part out with clear contempt, and Remus felt something within him twinge at the bitterness behind his words. He sensed that Pandora meant more to Cepheus than he was prepared to admit at that moment.

“So, if it's allowed, then why all the secrecy?” Remus asked, confused.

“I have my grandfather working on something to get her out of the contract, but if the Malfoy's know how important it is to us they'll never let her go.” Remus nodded in understanding, even though he clearly didn't have a clue what he was talking about. Remus' father was a pureblood more by circumstance than by design, far removed from the upper echelons of society, and his mother was a muggle. He'd never had to learn all of the intricacies of that world, and he'd never been more grateful for that fact.

“And besides,” Harry continued, tone suddenly teasing, “It's extremely fun.” he waggled his eyebrows suggestively, drawing a reluctant laugh from Remus and lightening the mood considerably.

“Apparently so,” he agreed wryly as he got up from the bench, “It certainly seemed like you were enjoying yourself.” The other boy smirked, clearly choosing to ignore the blush staining his cheeks.

“And I promise, I'll keep it to myself. But you might want to find a place to snog that has a bit more privacy. May I suggest the room of requirement?”

“Thanks, mate, I appreciate it.” Harry stood up to shake his hand gratefully before they resumed their walk towards the Great Hall. It wasn't until they reached the doors and were about to go their separate ways that he spoke with a wide grin; “And as to your second point, how do you think her book bag got left there in the first place?”

Remus was still chuckling as he sat down at the Gryffindor table in his usual seat across from Hermione. He could have wept with joy as he clocked the plate of bacon sandwiches she had clearly kept aside for him.

“How can you possibly be laughing on a day like this?” Hermione snapped moodily, slapping his hand as he reached out for a sandwich.

“Ouch!” He pouted, clearly not smiling any more. “What on Earth has gotten into you? And why won't you let me have a sandwich?” He was far more interested in the answer to the latter, so of course she chose to answer the former first.

“This whole place had descended into madness. Surely you've noticed it?” she said sulkily, shooting a dirty look at a pair of fifth years far more interested in eating each other's faces than tasty, tasty bacon sandwiches.

“Of course I have. Bloody nonsense. Not even a real holiday,” he grumbled distractedly, his earlier sour mood returning as his eyes darted between the increasingly inappropriate couple and the full plate that was _just_ out of his reach.

“Well, there is _some_ truth to the the story of St. Valent-”

“Hermione! Good Lord woman why won't you just give me a bacon sandwich? I'm a growing boy! I'm withering away over here!” Hermione stared at him blankly before descending into a fit of giggles.

“Oh here you are you ridiculous boy! Have your bloody sandwiches! I just needed to know that I wasn't the only one here whose brains haven't been addled by hormones. I'm glad to see that your madness was only hunger-induced.”

Remus just groaned contentedly as he finally bit into his first sandwich. He was sure right then that all he would ever need in life to be blissfully happy would be a grumpy Hermione and a bottomless plate of bacon sandwiches. They were both equally delightful as far as he was concerned.

“So, after breakfast why don't we grab Padfoot and Prongs and head to Honeydukes? I'm running low on Sugar Quills and you need Chocolate.” Remus beamed at her with his cheeks filled with food, giving him the appearance of a demented hamster. He swallowed it down before finally agreeing.

“Hermione, you are the perfect girl. Now, let's go and hate Valentine's and eat chocolate until we're sick together.”

**Hogsmeade , Scotland, February 11 th 1974**

“What do you mean you have dates? Why did you walk down here with us then?” Hermione demanded as she glared suspiciously at James and Sirius.

“We're meeting them at the Three Broomsticks. It was the weirdest thing, “ Sirius explained. “There we were, just sitting in potions minding our own business-”

“Dropping the wrong ingredients into each others cauldrons you mean” Remus muttered under his breath.

“Like I said, minding our own business” he continued casually, “And then all of a sudden McDonald and Dearborn come up to us and tell us that we're taking them to Hogsmeade. Didn't even ask, just informed us. Well, McDonald did, Dearborn didn't say much.”

“So who's going with who then?” Hermione asked, curious now. She could only assume that James was supposed to go with Alice, given her long term crush on the boy. Which was funny really, considering Frank Longbottom had asked Lily to go with him a week ago and she had agreed.

“They didn't see fit to tell us that part” James admitted, “but Mary's pretty, I wouldn't mind going with her.” He didn't sound particularly enthusiastic, and he had seemed a little down all week. _Oh James, you're just breaking hearts all over town aren't you?_ She thought to herself, trying not to smile. In the fight for his heart, James was already a goner. No-one would stand a chance against Lily.

“Whatever you like mate, I'm not fussed either way.”

“Charming.” Hermione huffed, not impressed by her friend's attitude. They were girls, not items on a takeaway menu.

“Oh don't be jealous sweetheart, I'll be your date next time” Sirius cooed, before running away at top speed, laughing as he dodged her Stinging Jinx, dragging James behind him.

“And there goes another two. It's not even Valentine's day and everyone has lost their minds.” she sighed as they started the short walk towards the sweetshop, which she could already see was filled to the brim with students.

“The whole place has lost its' marbles” Remus agreed. “Did you hear that someone let all of Hagrid's chickens loose yesterday afternoon?”

“Oh?”

“Don't worry it wasn't James or Sirius, they were busy setting Peeves loose in the trophy room to annoy Filch. Apparently he was thrilled. His new favourite thing to do he said.” Hermione laughed loudly, knowing that this was an activity the poltergeist would enjoy even in her her own time.

“Anyway, the point is that they never found the rooster. They looked everywhere and apparently it just vanished, There's a rumour making the rounds that some desperate girl stole it to use as a ritual sacrifice in order to get a date.” He looked far too amused by the notion.

Hermione ignored the urge to shift guiltily with the knowledge that the missing rooster currently residing in a soundproof cage in her newly-expanded backpack and focused in on her outrage instead.

“And why does it have to be some _girl?_ I've seen plenty of boys around this place act just as desperately as any of the girls. They're all equally moronic, and yet people are always so quick to assume it's girl.”

Remus looked at her with something like fondness as he replied. “ _I'm_ not saying it was a girl. I'm just saying what I heard. I'm with you; equal levels of idiocy from all sides.”

Hermione smiled slightly, not noticing that at some point during their discussion his hand had slipped into hers and they had managed to walk right past Honeydukes. The pair continued chatting and walking happily, clasped hands swinging between them as they walked, not stopping until they reached the border of the village just shy of the Shrieking Shack.

“Oh. I didn't notice we'd been walking this long” Hermione said, slightly surprised as she took in the view before her.

“Me neither.” Remus muttered, suddenly very aware of his hand in hers. He started to shake internally, and his mouth went dry. Somehow, without his permission, this innocent shopping trip between friends had started to feel distinctly date-like. He wasn't sure what to do with that information. Should he ask her if she wanted it to be? Should he let go of her hand? Should he put an arm around her?

Hermione took the decision out of his hands as she let go of his hand and wormed her way into the crook of his shoulder, clearly wanting him to put his arm around her shoulders.

“Do you know people are starting to think its haunted?”

“Hm?”

“The shack.”

“Oh. right. Well, they're not completely wrong” Remus commented lightly.

“Haunted by an adolescent werewolf and his merry band of Animagi? ”

“Exactly.” He smiled as a pleasant warmth spread through him. It all felt so _normal._ Here, with his arm around a girl he was now certain he liked, cracking jokes and strolling through Hogsmeade. It was beautiful, and he couldn't help but close his eyes and breathe in the moment. Just one of a million like it that he never thought he'd have but that kept coming anyway. He felt Hermione shift in his arms, and was surprised to find her face only inches from his when he opened his eyes.

“Remus, Close your eyes.” she whispered. He did as instructed, a thrill of anticipation running through him in the seconds before her lips met his. It was quick, a tender moment where her lips brushed against his, but it made his stomach swoop. It felt like the time over the summer when Lily and Hermione had taken them all to a fair and the roller-coaster had made a sudden drop. Just like that day, he wasn't sure that he could breathe or speak for a full minute afterwards.

When he finally opened his eyes, she was gone.

**Third Year Boys' Dormitory, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, February 11 th 1974**

“So, Remus, how did your date go?” James asked casually, polishing his broomstick as if he wasn't particularly interested in the answer.

“Remus had a date?”Peter interjected with interest . Remus huffed in annoyance. He liked the other boy well enough he supposed but he always too nosy for his liking, and there was something duplicitous about him that he couldn't quite put his finger on. There was no way he was telling James and Sirius anything while the other boy was there.

“No. Now piss off a while Petey, Marauder meeting” Sirius barked, shooing him out the door and sealing it with an Imperturbable Charm.

“Nosy little git. D'you know it was him who started that rumour about me and Marley? He told Miranda Bobbin we were fooling around in the dorm, and now everyone's saying it.”

“You do have her bra hanging above your bed like a trophy, sealed with a Semi-Permanent sticking charm and all.” James reasoned, “and you were locked in here with her alone for ages a few months back.”

“I was upset about Walburga! She was just being a mate!” Remus raised an eyebrow at this. Despite the recent bonding experience, it seemed as though things between them had rapidly returned to business as usual. Just three days ago she had called him an “arrogant pig-stick” and knocked his goblet of pumpkin juice right out of his hand. In fairness, he had been trying to flick peas into her hair at the time.

“We know that mate!” James reassured him, “Peter's a wanker. But you can see how he could twist things, you can see how it looks.”

“But I've never even snogged anyone!” He groaned miserably. “I was hoping that would change today, but Alice just spent the whole time making sad moon eyes at Prongs”

“Yeah, and Mary spent the whole time glaring at me. Birds are mental.” James looked genuinely baffled while Sirius and Remus tried to stifle their laughter.

“Well, at least none of you lot have kissed anyone either then.” Sirius consoled himself.

“I have.” Remus said quietly, trying to contain his smile.

“WHAT? When? Who?” James demanded, jumping up from his bed onto Remus, causing him to fall back, pinned to the mattress by his friend.

“Hermione, stupid.” Sirius said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “It was, yeah?” he looked to Remus for confirmation.

“It was. Today in fact.” He stopped fighting it, and allowed himself to grin massively.

“It worked! It worked! Lily is a genius!” James clambered up onto his feet and starting jumping on the bed like an exuberant toddler.

Remus was momentarily confused before he realised what the boy was talking about. “You left us alone on purpose?” Sirius nodded, shooting him a cheeky wink.

“And this was Lily's idea?”

“Yes. She's a _genius!_ ” This from James, who was still jumping on the bed, causing Remus to jerk violently as he tried to sit up.

“Oh Merlin, she's going to be insufferable after this.”

Sirius just shot him an amused shrug before running up and joining James in using his mattress as a trampoline.

**Room of Requirement, Hogwarts, Scotland, February 14 th 1974**

“So...I kissed Remus.”

“Ah. I've been snogging Pandora since September.”

“Hmm... happy?”

“Yep. You?”

“Yep. Shall we go find the diadem then?”

“Yeah let's go.”

Hermione smiled at the exchange, they had never needed many words between them. She quickly put it out of her mind though, bringing her complete focus to the task at hand. They had a Horcrux to destroy.

**A/N: Finally, a bit of Remione for you! What did you all think?**

**Thanks so much for reading** ,

**Til next time,**

**SJ**


	14. Black Holes and Revelations

Chapter 14: Black Holes and Revelations

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment ***

**AN: Sorry for the long gap between chapters, real life has been hitting me real hard right now, so I had to take a short mental health break. Hopefully this action-packed chapter will help make up for it!**

**Room of Requirement, Hogwarts, Scotland, February 14 th 1974**

“ _So...I kissed Remus.”_

“ _Ah. I've been snogging Pandora since September.”_

“ _Hmm... happy?”_

“ _Yep. You?”_

“ _Yep. Shall we go find the diadem then?”_

“ _Yeah let's go.”_

Ceph and Pandora? Oh that was perfect. Prime blackmail material. The potential for mischief and mayhem was limitless. Sirius smothered a laugh, pressing his hand against his mouth from his place underneath the invisibility cloak. He knew it was more than a bit underhanded, following his older brother around this way, but he had been acting strangely for months. And besides, he had a duty and divine right as a younger brother to snoop.

He had been sneaking away for hours at a time, usually around the same time as Hermione, and always had a less than marauder-worthy excuse for his absence. He _had_ thought that maybe he and Hermione had been sneaking around behind Remus' back, and vowed to catch them in the act and give them a piece of his mind. Now it was obvious that wasn't the case, and he felt like a first-class idiot. He should have known better, neither of them would do that to Remus. And now he had at least a partial explanation as to where his older brother was spending most of his time. Pandora and Ceph. It made perfect sense! Apart from the teensy little issue of the girl's engagement of course, but Malfoy was a prat anyway so who cared?

So, it was obvious that Hermione and Ceph were not here to engage in any sort of amorous activity, but the point remained; what the hell were they up to? And what in the name of Merlin's saggy left bollock was a diadem?

He followed quickly behind them as the door swung shut only to find himself in room that could best be described as the world's biggest and least-organised bric-a-brac shop. Either that or a hoarder's wet dream. This was supposed to be the Room of Requirement. Who on earth would need a room like this? _Maybe someone hard up for cash,_ he though as he recognised some of the furniture as being the kind of antique that Cissa always cooed over. But then again, what was the point in the piles and piles of half-finished homework assignments? He vowed to come back here with James at his earliest convenience and explore. Now though, he forced himself to focus on the matter at hand, keeping his footsteps light as he followed behind his bossiest female friend.

“Wasn't it near the Vanishing cabinet?”

_Vanishing cabinet? I wonder where it goes.... No! Focus dammit!_ Sirius strained to hear as they spoke in low, hushed tones.

“Yeah, right inside it I'm sure. But it's been a while, I can't remember exactly where the c- Oh wait! Right there. Let's go!”

Sirius felt his insides squirm with excitement. There was adventure afoot, he was sure of it! He sped up to turn the corner, revealing a small clearing with an ugly greenish-black cabinet at its centre. Harry reached out to open the doors before sifting through its contents, emerging triumphantly with a small silver tiara.

“There, got it. Let's get out of here. We need to get down to the Chamber, I don't want to keep hold of this thing any longer than is absolutely necessary.”

“Agreed.” Hermione nodded firmly, opening a small handbag so that he could place the mysterious jewellery inside.

_A tiara? What the bloody hell was going on here?_ Sirius frowned in confusion. He wasn't sure what he had been expecting but it definitely wasn't this. What Chamber? What was so bad about this 'diadem'?

He followed them out the same way he had on the way in, quickly darting through the door before it could slam closed. The castle was eerily quiet. He was no stranger to the empty corridors at night, but they were usually accompanied by a giggling James or a maniacal Peeves wreaking havoc on Filch's nerves. On any other day he would be gleefully running at full speed back towards the Gryffindor common room before he got caught out after hours, not creeping quietly as he stalked his older brother and the girl he was apparently closer with than anyone thought.

They seemed to be heading downwards, down the stairs until they finally stopped at the second floor. They took a hard left until they reached – _The girl's bathroom? Moaning Myrtle's bathroom?_ This little escapade was making less and less sense the longer it went on.

He held his breath, taking careful steps, flinching with every one as they echoed against the tiles. Ceph and Hermione were standing in front of one of the grimy sinks, whispering to each other so quietly he had to strain to hear anything at all. One thing though, rang out clearer than anything else:

_Chamber of Secrets._

_The_ Chamber of Secrets? The previously excited swooping in his stomach turned promptly to dread, a heavy weight dropping down into his gut and solidifying into a hard ball of apprehension. Surely they had to be kidding? Hermione was a lot of things, but stupid wasn't one of them, and even his decidedly conceited brother wasn't _that_ arrogant. He tried to reassure himself that if there was any way either of them had found the actual, honest-to-goodness Chamber of Secrets, which almost definitely didn't exist, they would have immediately gone to a teacher. Sirius was all about adventure, but ancient monsters of legend were a serious business, not to be trifled with.

Just when he had finally managed to convince himself that he had been right all along, and that _Chamber of Secrets_ was some sort of disgusting euphemism for 'shag pad', he heard a strangled hissing sound. He felt himself start to shake as he came to the startling realisation that the horrible noise was coming from his older brother.

_No. Absolutely not. He would_ know _if his brother was a Parselmouth. He didn't know what was going on but it wasn't that, it wasn't._

He was still reeling from one shock when another reared its ugly head. A high pitched scraping noise filled the space around him as the structure that held the sinks started to shift, revealing a large black hole in the tiled floor. The annoyingly Gryffindor part of him was intrigued by what could possibly lie within, but his baser instincts were screaming in protest. He let out a loud gasp as he watched Ceph and Hermione immediately jump down into the hole one after the other, and with barely a though he raced down after them. He might not have known what was going on, but he knew he couldn't let them go alone.

He took a deep breath, tightening his grip on the invisibility cloak before jumping down into the hole, only to find himself going for the most disgusting ride of his life. The slide was dank, slimy and smelt terrible, much like he imagined the Slytherin common room to be. This only further confirmed his suspicions, they were designed by the same man after all. He landed with a thud and a sickening crunch. He patted himself down, checking for injuries when he came to the thoroughly gross realisation that the crunching had come from the ankle-deep pile of rat skeletons that littered the stone floor beneath him. _Well, isn't this cheerful,_ he shook out the cloak, releasing a cloud of bone dust. He grimaced, silently pleading with Merlin, Morgana and Circe that he hadn't gotten any stains on James' precious cloak, otherwise Slytherin's monster, whatever it may be, would be the least of his worries.

Throwing the aforementioned cloak back over himself, he followed the faint sound of voices that floated back towards him from the tunnel ahead. As the voices grew louder, he could have sworn he heard the sound of... clucking? He turned the corner and sure enough, there stood Hermione, cradling a rooster of all things in her arms as though it were a small child.

“It's okay boy, you're alright my love, I just have to quiet you down for a little bit, You'll be back at Hagrid's before you know it. _Silencio._ ”

Well, that solved the mystery of Hagrid's missing rooster. He would have to apologize to McKinnon. Just yesterday he had accused her of being so desperate to get in his trousers that she had turned towards to the Black Arts. In fairness, she had then immediately proceeded to vanish said trousers in front of the entire common room, revealing his least favourite pair boxers to the world. He didn't even _like_ Unicorns, they were just a joke gift from James, and the rest of his pants had been in the wash!

He did wonder where she had been keeping the rooster though, It must have been here beforehand because there was no way it would fit in that tiny little handbag. What was that weird phrase Remus was always saying? Curiouser and curiouser.

The horrible hissing noise assaulted his senses for the second time, and right now there didn't seem to be any denying it, Cepheus was a Parselmouth. He felt something like hurt stab at his heart that his older brother could tell a relative stranger such a massive secret, but hide it from his own brother. It didn't make any sense, none of this did. He watched silently as the creepy metal snakes slithered away from the door's edge, releasing their hold. The heavy door swung open, and previously invisible lanterns roared to life independently, bathing the cavernous space ahead in an eerie green light. What was it with this guy and green? Sirius rolled his eyes at the ancient wizard's obvious flair for the dramatic, not sensing the hypocrisy in his disdain.

“Okay Harry, this is it. You know the plan.” Hermione's voice was steady, but Sirius could see the way her hands shook slightly, and the scared lump in her throat that she tried to swallow down.

“I do. Let's just get this over with.”

The change that came over Cepheus as he said this caused Sirius to freeze for a few seconds. This boy, no, _man,_ in front of him was not the one he had grown up with. He looked older, hardened, almost battle worn. He had met an Auror, Moody, at his grandfather's house over the summer. He had that same look in his eyes, the same stiff posture that Ceph wore now. It was like he was... a soldier.

He forced himself to step over the threshold, watching as Hermione waved her wand again.

“ _Obscuro! Obscuro!”_

What in the name of- Blindfolds, now? Okay, so maybe this _was_ some weird sex thing. It was doubtful, but what else explained all of this? First Parseltongue, then the rooster and now the blindfolds?

_Wait._ He felt something flicker at the back of his mind. A spark of recognition. _Parseltongue. Snakes, Roosters. Blindfolds. That must mean-_

_Oh shit._

He quickly closed his eyes and crouched down on the ground, trying to stay as still and as small as humanly possible. He must be wrong, it was ridiculous. But he'd much rather be an alive idiot than a dead one. And yet, what else could it possibly be?

He heard Cepheus say something in Parseltongue again, and the sound of stone on stone, the ominous grinding sending shivers down his spine. There was a wet, slick sound that could only be scales on the floor, a whooshing of displaced air and an acrid, smoky smell that seemed to permeate the atmosphere. He could hear footsteps splashing as one of his two unwitting companions crossed the chamber.

“ _Finite!”_ Cepheus' voice rang out and echoed around the room, drawing the attention of the giant snake, if the sudden change in the direction of sound was anything to go by. What the hell were they playing at? Sirius felt like he needed to cry, or vomit with the fear. He had never been so scared of anything in his entire life, not even when his mother had turned her Cruciatus curse on him. That was different. That had just hurt. He had only been scared for his _own_ life, his own sanity more than that. This, this utter certainty that his older brother was about to die, and the helpless knowledge that there was absolutely nothing he could do to help was more than he could bear.

All of a sudden, he saw a bright flash of light, visible even behind his closed lids. The rooster, the beautifully, wonderfully obliging rooster let out an almighty crow, filling up the space around it. The sound that followed the best one he'd ever heard definitely qualified as one of the worst. It was an inhuman screech, a high-pitched keening sound that could only have meant that the giant serpent was about to meet its end, and fighting furiously against its fate. After what seemed like an age, he heard Hermione dispel the blindfolds and make her way further into the chamber, Ceph not far behind. He didn't yet dare to open his eyes, still shaking with fear, until he heard absolute confirmation that it was safe.

“It's dead. Let's get the fangs.”

Sirius opened his eyes and found himself overtaken by a rage unlike anything he'd ever experienced. There they sat, the slayers of all things ancient and snakelike, casual as anything while they used what looked like a large pair of pliers – _Where the hell did they come from? And where did the rooster go?_ \- to pull out the largest four basilisk fangs, as though it were an everyday occurrence.

“What the fuck is going on here?”

Hermione jumped back in fright, losing her footing and ending up falling arse first in a puddle of scummy chamber water. In the same instant, Harry whipped his head round, brandishing the pliers like some sort of weapon, ready to meet the owner of the phantom voice with extreme force if necessary. The fact that neither he or Hermione had their wands in hand either hadn't occurred to him, or didn't particularly bother him.

On any other day, Sirius would have laughed at the bizarre sight before him, delighted to cause such a stir. Today though, he just wanted answers, and he wanted them _now._ He pulled the cloak off with a flourish, revealing himself to the pair, who paled immediately.

“Don't just stand there gawking. I asked you a question. _What the fuck is going on here?_ ”

The pair exchanged a brief look that seemed to contain an entire conversation, after which Hermione nodded resignedly, gesturing for Harry to speak. _Even I can't communicate silently with Ceph like that. How is it that Hermione can?_ Sirius tried to ignore another painful stab of jealousy as he continued to stare expectantly at his older brother, who he apparently didn't know nearly as well as he thought, and waited for him to begin speaking.

“Padfoot,” he began, seeming unsure where to begin. He opened and closed him mouth several times, finally seeming to come to a decision, although the wary expression remained fixed upon his face.

“Sirius, What do you know about Occlumency?”

He scoffed, _More than you think brother._

**Room of Requirement, Hogwarts, Scotland, February 24 th 1974**

As it turned out, in the grand tradition of younger brothers everywhere, Sirius had snooped on Harry quite a bit through the years. He had even dared to listen in on one of the many lessons he'd had with his Grandfather over the summer after his own first year, thankfully not managing to hear anything of note. What he had managed though, was to pilfer one of his older brother's Occlumency textbooks, which Harry had simply assumed he'd loaned to Hermione.

Miraculously, Sirius seemed to have become quite proficient in the art without any help, despite his youth, inexperience and his naturally impatient temperament. He was not quite as skilled as Harry or Hermione, but it was enough to allow them to clue him in as to the full truth of their existence once they had secured a promise from him that he would continue to practice and submit to regular testing with either of them or his Grandfather.

He had been disbelieving at first, until they had sworn upon their magic and promised to show him some of their memories at the earliest available opportunity. Of course they would be select memories, carefully chosen to spare him many of the more painful aspects of their past, of his future.

“ _This doesn't...I mean, will it- You're still really my brother yeah?” Sirius asked, excitement at the prospect of seeing some memories from the future momentarily forgotten._

_Harry let out a shocked laugh. “Yeah, 'course. I'm pretty sure that the many hours mother spent pushing us both out of her body can attest to that. You can't get rid of me that easily.”_

_Sirius seemed to brighten considerably, before pausing to contemplate something. “You said your name was Harry, before?” The boy in question nodded, confused by this seemingly tangential question._

“ _Pandora knows!” He cried triumphantly, “That's why she gave you that stupid Marauder name. Sneaky little witch.” He chuckled merrily, inordinately impressed by his own cleverness._

“ _Yeah, she has a bit of the Sight, you know.” Harry agreed, beaming with pride. “Didn't even have to tell her.”_

_Hermione felt her heart lift as she watched the two brothers bond. For so long she had feared what would happen when the truth was eventually revealed, and it had always been the plan to tell their friends at some point. It gave her hope to see that, at least in this instance, there had been no explosive reactions. She had her doubts that her own brother would be so forgiving, however._

And so they had decided, all four of them once they had been able to successfully arrange a meet up with Pandora, that their friends had a right to know sooner rather than later. They had put out word to the other Marauders and Regulus, who would become a full marauder as soon as he achieved his own Animagus form, that there was to be an important meeting the following Sunday after dinner, and Hermione knew that it was going to be a long one. Almost everyone was settled into their place, the room transformed into the large pit of pillows it had been the day they had discovered their forms. It was exceedingly comfortable, and one of their regular spaces for gatherings such as these.

Remus was uncharacteristically late, but judging by the red lines and ink smudges across his cheek he had fallen asleep in the library doing homework. Hermione smiled at him fondly as he rushed to take his usual seat beside her in the circle, flopping down with all the grace of a new born Erumpent. She tried not to sigh dreamily like the schoolgirl she was as she took in his sleep-mussed hair, sticking up endearingly at the back. She allowed herself a small, dopey smile instead, choosing to ignore the way Lily smirked, or how Severus grimaced uncomfortably.

Ever since their kiss she had found her mind wandering to him more often. Which was saying something, when one considered how often she'd thought of him before that. She found him drifting across her mind at odd hours of the day, drawing her attention away even from her beloved reference books. Despite his near-permanent residence in the periphery of her mind, they hadn't shared another kiss since the first. Instead, the changes in their relationship were slow, and subtle. In fact, she had started to think that she had completely misread the situation completely and that he hadn't returned her feeling at all until two days after the Hogsmeade trip. He had tracked her down in the library, pulling out his books to study alongside her before gently, silently, taking hold of her left hand, not letting go even as he struggled to turn the page of his book. From then on it had been carrying her bag between classes, and an arm on the back of her chair, just little reassuring touches to let her know that he returned her esteem, and she treasured every one of them. The hand holding alone caused her to feel sick with giddiness.

“Sorry I'm late.” He muttered apologetically, reaching out to give her hand a firm squeeze. She beamed again, unable to help herself.

“That's okay. We waited for you.”

“Yes, Hermione was quite insistent.” Pandora interjected cheerfully, making the younger witch blush, much to the amusement of the rest of the group. All except Reg, who just looked mildly disturbed. Apparently he was still firmly in the 'girls are gross' phase.

“Right, well. Anyway. Shall we get started?” Hermione twisted a curl around her finger, flustered in a way that was entirely atypical for her.

She took a deep breath, suddenly nervous. She was acutely aware of how frustrating it was to only be given half of the information you needed by someone you trusted, and of how much it chafed when they didn't seem to trust you as fully as you did them. She hated asking her friends to jump though hoops this way, and despised the fact that she found herself suddenly sympathetic to Dumbledore's position in her other life. There was a great responsibility that went along with knowledge, a constant sense of self-doubt, endlessly questioning herself over how much information to give away, and how much needed to be kept under wraps.

“Well I just want to start by saying that I love you all, and that I'm very sorry for what I have to ask of you.”

The atmosphere in the room changed in an instant, levity finding itself quickly replaced with an air of seriousness. She took in the faces around her, a mixture of confusion and curiosity mixed in with an obvious understanding that whatever this conversation would be, it wouldn't be pleasant.

“Well, you've clearly decided to ask it of us anyway, whatever it is, so do get on with it.” Severus had never been one to beat around the bush, and was clearly eager for his sister to get to the point.

“Okay.” She nodded slightly, taking a deep breath to steady herself. She relaxed slightly as she felt Remus stroke the back of her hand soothingly, and when she glanced at him from the corner of her eye, she found him smiling at her encouragingly. Bolstered by his solid presence, she began.

“I have a secret that I've been keeping form you all. A very big, life-altering, not to be repeated outside of this room or else people could die kind of a secret. And I want more than anything to tell you, all of you, but I can't, not right now. I need you all to do something first, so that no-one can force you to tell.”

She took in Severus' scowl, and noted the way Remus had stopped stroking her hand, and almost lost her nerve. It wasn't until she caught Harry's eye that she was able to continue.

“I understand that it seems pointless to ask you all here only to tell you all that I have a secret, only to then not tell you. I just don't want to lie to any of you anymore.” She could hear the shaky plea in her voice, begging them to understand.

Lily, Merlin bless her soul, seemed the most accepting of this less than informative speech.

“Whatever it is Hermione, I trust you. You'll tell us when you're ready. What is it you need us to do?”

She could have cried with relief. James, at least seemed to agree, nodding earnestly as the redhead spoke. Sev seemed unmoved, scowl still marring his boyish features. Poor Reg just seemed mightily confused.

“It's not just your secret though is it?” A cold, hard voice came from beside her, causing her heart to sink into her stomach.

“What?” She tried to act confused, but she could tell that she hadn't been convincing. She cursed her terrible acting skills, not for the first time, as she tried to think of a way to explain herself.

“You know what I'm talking about. It's him too.” Remus yanked his hand out of hers, gesturing towards an alarmed looking Harry. “He can barely look at any of us, and he's the only one who doesn't look surprised in the least by all this cloak-and-dagger nonsense.”

Hermione felt her insides grow cold at the disgust in his voice. Apparently, despite her assurances years before, somewhere deep down Remus had still harboured some deep-seated jealousy centred around Harry. All previous composure forgotten, she turned fully around to face her sort-of boyfriend, searching his face, begging him silently to look at her.

“Remus. Please, whatever you're thinking I can assure you you're wrong!” she reached out towards him, only to have him flinch away from her touch.

“Really? Because from where I'm sitting, it seems like you and your _real_ best friend have been keeping secrets from the rest of us, and are trying to package it all up as though it's all you. I thought you didn't want to lie to us Hermione?”

She was at a loss. She knew that everything he was saying was the truth, and yet she couldn't find it within herself to apologise, or to offer him any kind of comfort. She didn't believe for one moment that he would have reacted half as badly if it had been Lily instead of Harry she'd shared her secrets with. She had already soothed his ego once before, she refused to do it again. If he wanted to act like an arse, then fine. Even though it would pain her to do so, she would just have to leave him to his temper and continue on without his support.

“Fine. Yes, this involves Cepheus as well. I just didn't want to complicate things any further by bringing him into the mix. Do with that as you will.” She let the ice drip from her voice as she turned back to face the rest of the group.

“You two aren't...” James asked cautiously, gesturing between Harry and Hermione as he eyed Remus warily, “Like together or anything are you? Because no offence but I would hardly consider that life or death, not matter how good he is at snogging.”

Sirius started to giggle madly, while Hermione and Harry flashed each other identical looks of nauseated horror.

“Absolutely not!” Harry responded emphatically, causing him to get some strange looks from around the room. Sirius' giggles had turned into full-blown barking laughter now.

“I don't know, it might be life or death. He is _quite_ good at snogging.” Pandora's statement, along with her matter-of-fact delivery, caused complete silence to fall around the rest of the room while Sirius lost it completely, collapsing back into the pile of cushions behind him, tears of mirth springing from his eyes. Harry just groaned as he buried his face in his hands to hide his flaming embarrassment.

“You have a girlfriend Ceph?” Regulus asked brightly, the first one to recover from the unexpected announcement.

“A _secret_ girlfriend.” Pandora corrected. After a brief explanation of the complex circumstances surrounding their relationship, the group agreed to keep this new development to themselves. All except Remus, who reminded the couple in a biting tone that he'd already agreed to keep their secret the week before.

“Well, congrats and all that, but I think we've wandered from the topic at hand a bit,” James pushed his glasses up his nose, making him look oddly businesslike. “What was this thing you wanted us to do.”

“Shockingly, I find myself in complete agreement with Potter.” Sev drawled, “Can we please get to the point before we either perish from hunger or of die old age. At this rate, I'm not sure which would take us first.”

Hermione suppressed a smile at the light teasing quality apparent in her brother's tone, at least he appeared to be no more annoyed than usual. She took that as a sign that their relationship was firmly back on the right track after their altercation in the library months earlier.

“Yes, Sorry. Tell me, what do you all know about Occlumency?”

“Hey! Sirius didn't you have a book about that a couple of years back?”

The boy in question eyed his younger brother suspiciously. “Yeah. How did you know that?”

“I nicked it.” He grinned proudly, clearly not ashamed in the slightest of his sneak-thievery.

Sirius looked thoroughly affronted. “From my bag? That's my personal property you little twerp!”

Now it was Harry's turn to descend into a fit of laughter. _Ah,_ he thought as he wiped at his eyes, _Justice._

**A/N: Oh, some action and some angst for you all. What did you guys think? Let me know!**

**Thanks so much for reading** ,

**Til next time,**

**SJ**


	15. Swings and Roundabouts

Chapter 15: Swings and Roundabouts

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment ***

**A/N: This one is almost entirely Remione. Buckle up and BYOT, this one's gonna be an emotional rollercoaster.**

**Spinner's End, Cokeworth, England, July 6 th 1974**

Hermione stirred her tea absent-mindedly as she mulled over all the ways her life had changed in the last five months. The most surprising change was how close she'd grown to Lily. Although the girls had grown up together, the redhead had always been Severus' best friend, leaving Hermione to develop the strong friendship she had with Petunia. Despite this, Lily had become Hermione's champion, shielding her against the worst of Severus' distrustful sneers and Remus' cold shoulder. She was always quick to share her chocolates and regale the other girl with funny anecdotes of Davy Gudgeon's latest attempts to impress the perpetually unattainable Connie Dunbar.

Unsurprisingly, where Lily went, James followed. While Sirius remained stoically by Remus' side, trying unsuccessfully to talk the moody werewolf round, James had decided that Hermione needed him more. The three had formed an odd little group, but it was certainly never dull. James and Lily were similarly good natured; both talented, kind, friendly sorts, but academically they could not be more different. The majority of their time spent together consisted of various wagers and dares to determine whether they would spend the evening in the library studying or exploring the castle and generally getting into mischief. The games had gotten so blown out of proportion that by the end of the year McGonagall had placed a school-wide ban on wagering of any kind after Lily had bet James that he wouldn't be able to sneak catnip into the stern professor's personal desk. It had resulted in a fifty point loss for Gryffindor and a month's worth of detentions for James, but the general consensus among the students was that it would've been worth twice that if it meant once again getting to see the Deputy Headmistress higher than a Hippogriff on a hen weekend trying to teach seventh year Advanced Transfiguration. Needless to say James' success had earned him an entire week of tomfoolery, and anything academic that wasn't homework had been summarily forbidden, much to Lily's intense discomfort.

But a deal was a deal, after all.

Despite the general cheerfulness that surrounded her though, Hermione still found herself unable to fully enjoy the end of her third year. She missed her best friend. After receiving the necessary information about Occlumency, he had stormed out of the Room of Requirement, refusing to speak a word to her. He still hadn't been speaking to her when they'd left for the Hogwarts Express, leaving her to face the increasingly probable scenario of an entire summer without him. It wasn't so much that she missed the hand holding and the kissing, although it had been exceedingly pleasant, it was the fact that she missed her best friend that was eating her up inside. She missed his quiet comfort, his dry wit, his innate ability to cut to the heart of any matter and soothe her worries. She missed running wild with him on full moons and leaving him treats in the infirmary the morning after, which he had returned unopened the first time she'd tried.

He seemed determined not to be her friend, and Hermione was beginning to realise that eventually she would have to respect his decision. As much as it hurt, it also made her blood boil. He was acting like an entitled, immature little git and she wasn't sure that she wanted to be friends with _this_ Remus anyway, never mind anything else. He hadn't tried to fix things, he hadn't let her explain or even given her even the slightest benefit of the doubt, despite their supposedly solid friendship. He had wounded her pride, hurt her feelings and rejected her attempts at reconciliation and she wasn't entirely sure how they would be able to move past that if and when he did manage to extract his head from his arse. She sighed loudly, melancholy settling over her like a dark shroud.

“Earth to Hermione? What's wrong little love?”

She jerked her head up, surprised to find her mother and Gladys sitting at the kitchen table with her nursing their own cups of tea. She had been so lost in her musings that she had completely forgotten they were there.

“Sorry Gladys, I was miles away.” She offered her pseudo-aunt a bland smile before taking a sip of the strong, sweet liquid from her favourite floral mug.

“That's alright chickadee, Lily says you've been having a rough go of things this past few months. Had a little falling out with a friend, I think she said?”

Hermione blushed at the sharp look her mother gave her, not wanting discuss Remus with either of the women. She had already discussed it with Petunia and her advice had been uncharacteristically terrible.

“ _Get shot of him I say. Honestly Hermione, you need someone like my Dorian. He says that if you have a problem in a relationship, you've just got to face it head on. You'd never catch him giving a girl the silent treatment. He's great like that. It's like the other day when we...”_

What had followed could only be described as a forty-five minute lecture extolling the many virtues of one Dorian Black, who it appeared Petunia had been dating rather seriously for the last six months. She was thrilled that Tuney was happy, but being in love had made her rather tiresome to be around at times. For the millionth time, she thanked God for Lily. Lovely, uncomplicated, unattached Lily.

So really, one lot of completely unhelpful advice was plenty for her. It appeared however, judging by the sly smirk on her mother's face that reminded her far too much of her twin brother, as though she would be getting it regardless of her feelings on the matter.

“So, “ Eileen began, tone deceptively casual, “This friend, he wouldn't happen to be a boy would he?”

Gladys eyes seemed to widen in realisation, before taking on a conspiratorial gleam. _Oh Lord, here they go,_ Hermione thought with an internal eye roll.

“Hm? No I don't think so. Well I had better be off I told Lily-”

“Lily, dear? You must be getting your days mixed up, Lily is at the pictures seeing that new film with Sev. You know how she loves her Robert Redford.”

Indeed she did. The girl had every single one of his movie posters plastered to her wall. It would have been creepy if it weren't for the fact that she was also obsessed with the cinema generally, and that every wall of her bedroom was covered floor to ceiling in various posters, magazine cut-outs and memorabilia from her favourite pictures. Which was why she spent a large chunk of her holidays trying to take in as many as she could before she had to go back to school, making her entirely useless as an escape plan.

“Oh right. I meant to say Tuney, we were going to-”

Gladys was grinning widely now, clearly enjoying herself. “Try again Hermione, Petunia is going shopping with Dorian for outfits for that net-work festival thingy.”

“Knebworth?” Hermione asked with interest. It didn't seem like Tuney's scene, but she could admit that she was terribly jealous, vowing to go herself as soon as she was old enough.

“Yes, that. So why don't you tell us about this boy then, since I seem to have run out of daughters for you to forget to have plans with.”

Eileen laughed throatily, seeming to be thoroughly enjoying her daughter's discomfort.

“Fine,” she huffed. There really did seem to be no escaping them at this point. “His name is Remus.”

“That's a nice name” Eileen commented happily, triumph evident in her dark eyes.

And so, Hermione explained the entire situation to them. Well, not the _entire_ situation. All talk of secret meetings and illegal Animagus transformations were wisely left out of the story. Mostly she told them about her blossoming relationship with the teen werewolf (another fact she kept to herself) and about his completely groundless jealousy in regards to her close friendship with Cepheus.

Gladys nodded sympathetically, but Eileen seemed to have gone worryingly still, face growing harder with every word.

“Oh lovey, he's just a teenage boy. They're all useless at that age, he sounds like a lovely boy with a good head on his shoulders. Just give him some time and I'm sure he'll come around. Just you make sure you make him work for it when he does. In the mean time, you focus on having a good summer with your girlfriends, don't waste your youth moping over a boy. Even an _impossibly beautiful_ one.”

Hermione blushed. She hadn't meant for that to slip out in her description of him, but Gladys had a way of making her drop her guard so that she often found herself revealing far more than she had originally intended. The older woman flashed her a teasing smile, looking so much like her oldest daughter it was startling.

Eileen remained silent, worry pouring out of her in waves. Hermione felt her heart twist painfully as she recognised the faraway expression her mother wore, a familiar distant stare that reminded her of the worst parts of her childhood. She could tell that Tobias Snape was the cause of it, and rushed to put her mother's mind at ease.

“I know what you're thinking Mum, but Remus isn't like that. He's gentle, and kind. Even if he is being a git at the moment. And I would never let _anyone_ tell me who I can be friends with, or how to live my life. I promise.”

This seemed to clear the fog slightly from Eileen's eyes, but the tension in her shoulders told her daughter that she wasn't entirely reassured.

“Your father seemed kind and gentle at first too. He was so handsome, and charismatic. He made me feel beautiful, and rebellious. I was so focused on how good he made me feel that I didn't notice all the pieces of me he'd chipped away until it was too late.” Her eyes filled with tears as she reached across the table to clasp her hand over Hermione's.

“I know how strong you are my girl, but you have to be careful where you place your heart. And don't ever let love blind you to a man's faults. Don't make my mistakes.”

Hermione nodded solemnly, not bothering to hide the tear that slipped out from between her thick, dark eyelashes. Gladys looked at the mother and daughter as they held hands tightly and felt her own eyes start to water. It made her think of her own mother, and how she wished she'd lived long enough for them to share such a powerful moment with one another. Unable to stand it any longer, she gathered the two females up into a group hug, squeezing them tightly until they begged for air.

She released them with a chuckle, wiping at her eyes. “Right. Enough of this sad stuff. All I want to say is that Hermione, you're a tough cookie, and I'm sure Remus is a lovely young man. Eileen, you're a hell of a woman, you've been through more than most and you've come through it with grace. I'm lucky to have you for friend. Now let's get a fresh cuppa to go with that gorgeous lemon drizzle cake I brought over.”

“Isn't that the one Petunia baked last night? Wasn't that for tea with Dorian's dad tomorrow?” Hermione asked suspiciously.

Gladys just flashed her a mischievous smile before getting up from her chair to boil the kettle.

Hermione laughed loudly as she basked in the comfort of home and thought to herself, _My God, I love these women._

**Spinner's End, Cokeworth, England, July 6 th 1974**

Remus wandered aimlessly up and down the worn-out street with the grimy looking grey stone houses, sure that he'd passed that particular park twice already.

“Oi! Where you off to then you muppet?” The loutish youth in the battered baseball cap preened as his fellow yobs crowed with laughter. Ah, yes, he was sure he'd interacted with these particular young gentlemen once before. He rolled his eyes as they swigged beer from their cans, full of bravado as if they weren't teenagers hanging about getting drunk in a children's play park. He ignored their yells, continuing his trek along the flat stretch of road, hoping he'd stumble across the right address soon. He continued on in this same tired pattern for another half hour, almost getting in an altercation with the youth (who was apparently named 'Big Steph') when he'd thrown a half full beer can at the werewolf, soaking him. Settling for throwing him a two-fingered salute instead, Remus decided to call it a day. Wet, distracted and miserable, he hadn't noticed the man walking towards him until it was too late. They collided with a smack, knocking the teenager to the floor, much to the amusement of Big Steph and his gang.

“Stephen Maxwell is that you? Is that beer? You lot best clear off out of here before I have to have a word with your mother!” The teens ceased their laughter immediately, making a hasty retreat from the park, six-packs stuffed into blue carrier bags at top speed.

“Oh, I'm sorry son, here let me help you up. You have to be careful you mind where you're walking around here. It's not a nice place for a young man to wander about alone.”

Remus took the man's offered hand gratefully as he scrambled to his feet.

“I know that sir, I was just on my way home. Sorry for bumping into you like that, I was a bit distracted.”

The man smiled at the young man's manners. He definitely wasn't from around here.

“No worries mate. Will you be alright getting home? Where are you from?”

Remus mumbled his reassurances that he would be fine. In reality he had lost his way several hours ago, and hadn't a clue what time the last train home would be. His usually impeccable common sense had abandoned him that morning, overruled by his excitement over his successfully completed project and his desperate need to see Hermione to show her the results.

The man chuckled, clearly sensing Remus' lie. “My girls get that exact same look on their faces when they're trying to spin me a yarn. Come on lad, I've just got to pick up the wife and drop her back at home, then I'll help you find your way to the station on my way to collect my youngest.”

Nodding gratefully, he hurried to follow the man. They had barely walked five feet when the man enquired as to what had prompted Remus' visit.

“Well, I was trying to visit a school friend of mine, but I couldn't find the address.”

The man raised an eyebrow, “Oh yeah? Give us it here and I'll see if I can help you find it.”

He obliged, handing the worn piece of parchment over to the friendly older gentleman with the strangely familiar face and vibrant red hair.

The man's eyes widened in surprise before a wide smile broke out across his face.

“Well that's a helluva coincidence, young man. I happen to be going to that very residence right this minute to pick up my wife. Are you Hermione's friend or Sev's”

Remus whooped internally. _Finally, a bit of luck._

“Er, both really. But I'm here to see Hermione.”

The man smirked knowingly, and suddenly Remus knew _exactly_ who the man was. He had seen the exact same one on another redhead too many times not to recognise it instantly.

“Sorry, but you wouldn't happen to be Mr. Evans would you?”

“I would. But please, call me Harold, Mr. Evans makes me feel as old as I am.” Remus nodded in agreement before the pair resumed their walk.

“So, you must be Remus then? Yes, I've heard all about your little lover's tiff from my Lily.” The teen blushed furiously as he stared determinedly at the pavement ahead, not sure how to respond.

Harold laughed again, pleased as punch to have embarrassed the young man. He seemed like a good sort, but the boy had upset his Hermione and he couldn't let that go entirely unpunished.

“You're not wrong to look scared. The girl is a sweetheart, but she can be an absolute menace when crossed. Just be honest, give her your most sincere apology and then hope for the best.”

Remus gulped. He could certainly attest to Hermione's ferocity, he'd seen it first hand when she'd broken Lucius Malfoy's nose. His heart twinged at the memory. Another example of what a good friend he had in the witch, and how terribly he'd mistreated her. He'd promised himself that day that he would always protect her the way she did him, and he'd let himself down miserably.

He remained silent for the rest of the journey, lost in his pondering. So lost, in fact, that he found himself surprised when they made an abrupt left turn, up a neat little garden path towards a small grey house, practically identical to the others on the block. _No wonder I missed it._

He stopped at the front step, expecting Harold to knock on the door. He was surprised when the man simply turned the handle and walked in without incident. He had known that Hermione and Lily's families were friendly with each other, but this level of trust and familiarity was startling.

“Gladys, sweetheart are you ready to go? I've to collect Lily and Sev at eight o'clock so we best make a move.”

A short blonde woman with startling green eyes shuffled her way into the hall, bright pink mug in hand. “Coming Harry, just let me finish my brew. Did you have a good time a- Oh. Who's this then? And why have you left the poor lad standing at the door like a lonely little pint of milk?”

Remus grinned at the turn of phrase. He could definitely see how Lily had ended up the vivacious witch she was with these two for parents.

“Who?” he asked, momentarily distracted as he plucked the mug from his wife's hands, taking a sip himself. She started pointedly between her husband and the door until he finally came back to himself. “Oh! Right.. HERMIONE! Gentleman caller here for you! Goes by the name of Remus?”

There was a brief moment of silence followed by the rapid thumping of footsteps as they made their way downstairs. Remus' breath hitched when he saw her. She was wearing her favourite Doors t-shirt and bell-bottom jeans, and he was sure that she hadn't filled out either nearly as well the last time he'd seen her wear them. He found himself unable to speak as he took in the sight of her hair, freed from its usual hairband and flowing freely about her shoulders, framing her slightly flushed cheeks fetchingly.

He felt as though he'd lost all control of himself. A fact which became evident when he opened his mouth to speak.

“Vorry.” _What? What the fuck is 'vorry'?! Stupid werewolf._ He cleared his throat and tried again, trying to ignore the new woman that had entered the hallway.

“I meant sorry. Very sorry. Prat. Not you! I meant me prat. I'm the prat!” He furrowed his eyebrows in frustration, unable to account for his sudden bout of waffling. “Alright, let me start again, Hermione I-”

That's when Hermione lost it. Standing on the fourth step, holding onto the banister for purchase, she doubled over with laughter. The Evans' weren't far behind, soon chuckling merrily along with her, and even the dour looking woman beside them looked thoroughly amused.

He let out a put-upon sigh, accepting his role as prize idiot. It was the least he deserved.

After a few minutes Harold and Gladys Evans had calmed down enough to gather the woman's belongings and head for the door. The woman, almost as short as Hermione, patted him affectionately on the cheek like a favourite aunt on her way out before shooting the young girl a significant look. Harold was still smiling as he clapped the young man on the shoulder, leaning over to whisper parting words in his ear.

“Smooth, lover boy. Very smooth.”

While all of this was going on, Hermione was shooting her mother a pleading look. Ordinarily she wouldn't be allowed out after dark, but she had a feeling that this talk would require privacy her bedroom just wouldn't provide. After taking a few moments to consider it, Eileen nodded her head in acquiescence.

“Ten o'clock. Not a moment later Hermione.”

“Thanks mum!”

“And tell your friend he can stop on the couch tonight. I'll not have a young boy hanging about Cokeworth station alone at night.”

She nodded obediently, instructing Remus to call his mother from the landline. After thanking Hermione's mum and gaining permission from his own without much trouble, the two headed out into the night air.

They walked for ten minutes in silence until they reached the same park that had been occupied by Big Steph and his friends only an hour before. They each sat down on a rickety swing, unsure where to start. Remus cursed himself once again, he hated this awkwardness he'd created between them. _Well,_ he thought, _I broke it so now I have to fix it._

“I'm an arsehole.”

She raised one eyebrow, “I'd say that's an accurate assessment.”

A small smile tugged at his lips. At least she was talking to him, that was a good sign.

“A jealous, petty arsehole and a terrible friend. I'm sorry I didn't trust you. You're entitled to your own secrets, and I never should have taken it personally the way I did.”

She sniffed, hurt all over again by the memories of his cold treatment as they flooded her mind.

“No you shouldn't have. But why the sudden change of heart? Why now? You haven't said a word to me in _months_ Remus.” She was mortified by the way her voice cracked as she spoke, but held her head up high, determined to stare him right in the eye as he explained himself to her.

“I wanted to speak to you. Really, I did!” He insisted desperately. “But I wanted to do something. Something to prove that I trust you, and that you can still count on me.” His voice had grown small and quiet, as though he were suddenly unsure of himself.

Hermione looked at him sceptically. “Oh? And what is it that you've done then?”

He gulped, hoping that she would understand what he had attempted to do.

“Well, you said you wanted everyone to learn Occlumency. But the thing is I-I can't.”

He decided to continue when Hermione just looked at him blankly.

“Well not so much can't as don't need to. You understand?”

“No. Obviously not.” Her words were terse and clipped. Clearly she was not amused. “Remus, why don't you just make your bloody point already?”

He rubbed his sweaty palms against his jean-clad thighs before launching into a full explanation.

“Well. It's Moony. He acts like a safeguard of sorts. If anyone tried to break into my mind all they would get would be a rush of instinctual ramblings. That's how Padfoot described it when he tested me anyway. Hence, no Occulumency. Are you with me so far?”

All she offered in reply was a stiff nod, sending his nerves into overdrive.

“Right, so at first I was so angry, so hurt that you couldn't trust me that I lashed out. Did I mention how sorry I am about that by the way? Well, it can't hurt to say it again. I was an arse. And worse than that I was a stubborn one. I knew I was wrong almost right from the beginning but I was so determined to be angry. And it didn't help having Sirius in my ear constantly telling me how stupid I was. It didn't take me long to figure out that he knew more than he was letting on, and that just made everything worse.”

He closed his eyes to shield against the memory of the pain that realisation had brought. He had rated below Cepheus _and_ Sirius. It had stung to say the least. He noticed the slightly guilty look in her eyes as she stared at the dirty concrete below their feet when he continued.

“Anyway, none of that is important now. Once I pulled my head out of my arse I realised that I couldn't just _tell_ you how sorry I was. I had to do something to prove myself. That's when I started to look further into Legilimency. Did you know that there are lots of different kinds?”

She hummed her agreement. She had read about them when she was learning herself, but outside of the standard 'mind-reading' she hadn't seen the point.

“Hermione. I want to show you something I've been working on. I need you to know how much I trust you. I need you to see how much you mean to me.” There was something raw and vulnerable in his tone that she didn't know what to do with. It was as though he were laying himself bare for her, but she couldn't quite figure out how.

He turned himself sideways so that he was straddling the swing, holding out his hand for her to take. Cautiously she took it, looking intensely into his eyes, desperately searching his face to figure out what he was trying to tell her. She thought she saw a spark of something, a subtle amber glow, growing slowly brighter until-

“ _Remus darling, it's getting dark, its time to come in and get settled for bed.”_

“ _Five more minutes Mummy? I want to see the man in the moon, from the story!”_

_She laughed, and it was lovely. He liked it when Mummy laughed, it made her so pretty._

“ _Okay Remy, but only five okay? I'll be back, I've just got to go and take the kettle off the stove.”_

“ _'Kay.”_

_He bounced excitedly where he sat, cross legged by his favourite big tree at the back of the garden. He could just see the moon start to peek out from behind the clouds when he heard a horrible, scary growling noise. He snapped his head round to the back door, hoping Mummy would be back soon._

_There it was again, the growling. He dropped his book, scared as he turned around to see where it had come from and then-_

_Pain. Horrible , burning pain. He cried and screamed. Where was his Mummy? He wanted his Mummy. Mummy would take the pain away, where was she? The growling faded away into the distance as he heard the sound of a woman crying._

“ _Remus!!_

_*~*~*_

_He pressed his face through the gaps in the fence, staring longingly at the children as they all played together in the little park._

_They looked like they must be having so much fun, swinging as high as they could on the big swings and jumping off at the top. He watched as one girl landed funny, skinning her knee. Another girl rushed over to help her up, handing her a tissue from her pocket and saying something that made the girl laugh. Just like that they were off again, running towards the climbing frame without a care in the world._

_Remus let one tear slowly slip from his eye. Only one though or else Daddy would get sad. He didn't want to make him sad, but he couldn't make the tears stay in either. Out of anything in the whole world, the only thing he wanted was a friend._

_He felt a large hand squeeze his shoulder and looked up to see his father staring down at him, frowning._

“ _Remus, son, we've talked about this. You can't be hanging around near the other kids, it's not safe.”_

_He looked down at the floor guiltily. “Sorry Dad. I wasn't going to talk to anyone or anything, I promise! I just like to watch sometimes.”_

_He sighed and ran his hand over his face. He was always doing that. Mummy said he was just tired._

“ _I know mate, but you could hurt someone. Or make them sick. You're a good lad, I know that's not what you want.”_

_He looked at the little girls, who were now taking turns going down the slide, and shook his head vigorously._

“ _No Dad. Sorry.”_

“ _It's alright. Lets go home and we'll see if we can talk mum into making us some of her famous choccy biscuits yeah?”_

_*~*~*_

“ _I'm Remus. Remus Lupin.” he responded shyly, sticking out his hand for Hermione to shake, which she did immediately._

“ _Nice to meet you Remus”_

_Wow, she was the prettiest witch he'd ever laid eyes on! And she was talking to him. And look at all those curls! They had to be the maddest and most wonderful thing he'd ever seen. He trembled as they shook hands and hoped that she wouldn't notice. He wasn't used to having someone touch him. Dumbledore had said that he wouldn't infect anyone so he wasn't worried about that, but it still felt strange and new._

“ _\- have a feeling we're all going to be great friends.”_

_Friends? He couldn't help the massive grin that spread itself across his face._

_*~*~*_

“ _Hermione!” Remus called out excitedly, rising from his seat to greet her with a massive bear hug and a smile before grabbing her trunk and placing it in the overhead storage space. “It's good to see you.”_

“ _Remus, I only saw you at the Potters' two days ago!” Hermione laughed fondly._

_Exactly._

“ _I know, but that's two days too long!” he insisted, making Hermione smile and roll her eyes at her friend's antics._

_The way she smiled at him filled him up, making him giddy and tugging at his heartstrings._

_*~*~*_

“ _Yes, very amusing. And who might you be?” Lucius asked smoothly._

“ _Remus Lupin.” he replied snappishly. Oh how he hated this smarmy git. Him and his bastard of a father, who seemed to make it his life's work to ensure that Remus' father would never get promoted in the Ministry, all because of some old school rivalry._

“ _Hmm, Lupin, where have I heard that name before?” the blonde mused out loud, although they both knew_ exactly _who he was. Remus tensed, fear gripping him like a vice as he could see his whole world begin to collapse around his ears. His secret was about to be revealed._

“ _Say, any relation to Lyall Lupin? Nice chap, works for the Department for Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures? Better known as the Monsters Division? No? Well I heard the funniest story the other day, fantastic bit of irony really. Apparently-”_

_His anecdote was interrupted by a tap on his shoulder. During his little tirade, he had failed to notice Hermione, her face filled with cold fury as she slowly began to rise from her place at the table and climb up onto the bench. What on Earth was she doing? As short as she was, her place on the bench brought her face almost level with the older boy. It was ridiculously endearing, but also very confusing. What was she doing up there? And was that Peter Pettigrew trying to look up her skirt?!_

_He made a mental note to clock him one in the face for that later. If he hadn't been expelled, that was._

“ _Yes, what do you wa-”_

Smack!

_She punched him so hard that he stumbled back several steps, blood gushing from his nose in rivulets. Remus looked at her in utter disbelief, while some feral part of him that sounded like Moony rejoiced, howling in triumph._

“ _Piss off Malfoy you foul bastard! Go and take your vile stories somewhere they're wanted, and stay away from my friends!”_

“ _Who do you think you are, little girl? How dare you? I'm Lucius Malfoy, heir to the Malfoy fortune!” Lucius yelled through his bloody nose, clearly both apoplectic with rage and stunned that anyone would dare to attack him with physical violence._

“ _I'm Hermione Snape and I don't give a fuck. Stay away from my friends!” With that, she jumped down from the bench and stalked angrily out of the Great Hall, leaving a school full of shell-shocked students and teachers behind._

“ _Hermione swore” Lily commented with awe._

“ _Hermione punched someone” James added in._

“ _Hermione is going to get detention” Sirius said, in a tone of pure disbelief._

_The only person who didn't look surprised was Severus. “I told you all she was vicious” he stated smugly._

_Remus was simply overwhelmed, moments ago he had been convinced that he was about to lose everything. And then Hermione had just up and attacked someone for him. No-one had ever protected him that fiercely before and to be honest he didn't know what to do with it. He finally decided just to be immensely grateful, and promised himself that he would always defend her just the same._

_Every time he thought that he couldn't love the girl more, she went and done something like this._

_*~*~*_

_Hermione, laughing as he swung her about in his arms._

_Hermione, smiling as snow caught in her eyelashes and her nose turned red from the cold._

_Hermione, discussing Arithmantic formulae with the Professor while slyly slipping am exhausted Remus a chocolate frog under the table._

_Hermione, crying in his arms because Severus hadn't spoken to her in a week after she'd shouted at him in the library._

_Hermione, cursing Pettigrew's tongue with boils after he called Marlene a slag._

_Her lips on his. Her hand in his. His heart beating wildly in his chest, with only one possible cause, Hermione._

_*~*~*_

Hermione was sobbing by the time she was brought back to the present. The way he felt about her, the way he _saw_ her. She was sure she had never looked that beautiful. She had never felt so cherished, or so _seen._ And the things he had been through, the things he had shared with her had been so intensely personal that she felt uniquely privileged and honoured that he'd chosen to let her in. He might as well have flayed himself alive, laying his soul bare for her inspection.

Remus dropped her hand, staring down at his lap feeling like a raw, exposed nerve. This was it, he had laid it all out on the table, everything he had. He hoped it would be enough. He really wanted his friend back.

He chanced a glance up and was surprised to find her kneeling in front of him, trying to catch his attention.

“Remus, _thank you._ But why?”

He didn't need to ask what she meant. “I needed you to know that I _do_ trust you. With everything I have. I was just being stupid. Can you forgive me?”

She answered him without words, cupping his face in her hands as she placed a slow, sweet kiss to his lips, making him forget the world around him for a moment. Their second kiss lingered much longer than the first, their tongues gently probing, exploring as they learned each other. They were both slightly breathless when she pulled away, and it took several seconds for him to comprehend the fact that she was speaking again.

“So. What was it that finally made you realise you were being an idiot.”

Remus grinned, knowing the answer would make her happy.

“Sev.”

“Sev?” She asked, confused.

“Yeah, he called me an imbecile and pointed out that I wouldn't be acting like this if Ceph was a girl. Bugger all but accused me of being a misogynist before he slapped me upside the head and told me to get my act together and stop hurting his sister or else he would be forced to poison me in my sleep.”

Hermione laughed loudly, easily picturing the scene in her mind. Like Remus her brother drove her to the very brink of insanity at times, but it was good to know that he always had her back.

“I'll be sure to thank him then.”

The pair exchanged another smile, and jointly decided to make the most of the rest of their time together by playing on the swings. They swung as high as they would go, only jumping off when they reached the top, laughing uproariously as they hit the ground.

_I was right,_ Remus thought to himself with a contented smile, _This is fun._

**A/N: Guys, I cannot express to you how much I love the way this chapter turned out. I hope you all like it as much as I do. Let me know what you think!**

**Thanks so much for reading** ,

**Til next time,**

**SJ**


	16. Pretty Little Fool

Chapter 16: Pretty Little Fool

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment ***

**Also, anything you recognise in this chapter is a direct quote from the books, I'll try to use them sparingly, and only when necessary.**

**A/N: Sorry for the wait guys, I was reeeeal sick for a couple of weeks and then had to deal with a major case of writers block. Hope this one makes up for it.**

**Hogwarts Express, Somewhere in England, September 1 st 1974**

Lily watched on in amusement as Remus and Hermione swapped small, secretive smiles. She rolled her eyes internally at the way they blushed and looked away whenever they caught each other staring. It would be nauseating if it weren't so bloody cute. Lily was a true romantic at heart, and she couldn't help but be happy that her friends had finally made it up over the summer. Ever since the day he had turned up out of the blue at the beginning of the holidays the pair had been practically inseparable, with each taking turns to make the hour-long train journey to visit the other.

Their reconciliation, happy though she was about it, had brought some unexpected consequences for herself. Between Hermione's blossoming romance with Remus and Petunia's increasingly annoying obsession with Dorian, Lily had found herself starved for female company. Unless she wanted to hang around with her Mother and Eileen of course, but that was just asking for trouble. Instead, she'd found herself spending a lot of time with Sev and the Gryffindor Marauders. Well, two of them anyway. Many a long, sprawling summer day had been spent splashing around in the lake behind Potter Manor, sipping on refreshing home-made lemonades and trying not to get drawn in to Sirius and James' antics, with little success.

She smiled as she thought back to the day the group of four had spent engaged in an epic battle. Lily had perched upon Sev's shoulders while James sat atop Sirius' as they each tried with all their might to push the other into the water below. They both took their tumbles, losing count of their losses as they wheezed with laughter, delighted by the silliness of it all. They had played for hours, long after the sun had disappeared behind the clouds, sending their teeth chattering. It had only been Mrs. Potter _(“Call me Dorea dear”)_ calling them inside for hot chocolate and biscuits that had ended the game.

In the end, despite the lack of girl time, it had been a rather enjoyable summer and she had been surprised to find herself missing the two silliest Marauders over the last few weeks while James and his family had been visiting the Potters' Château in France. So really, life had been good of late. Mostly. There had been one horrifyingly awkward encounter only two weeks before she'd boarded the train to head back to school. She and Sev had been walking home from the cinema, allowed to do so by themselves since it was still light outside, when it had happened.

“ _Don't you think it would be lovely Sev?”_

_He grunted, that funny grumpy sound that she knew was supposed to be dismissive. “What?”_

“ _To be kissed like that? I think it would be so romantic.”_

“ _Hmm. Looks pretty disgusting to me. All those tongues wriggling around, no thanks.”_

_She grinned. She could always count on Sev to tell her exactly how he felt, it was one of her very favourite things about him. He might pretend to be all dark and brooding with everyone else, but to her he was just Sev._

“ _Okay, maybe not like that_ exactly _. But I do think I would like being kissed.” She glared at him when he opened his mouth to comment. “A_ nice _kiss. A sweet kiss.”_

_She sighed dreamily, not caring that Severus would roll his eyes at her girlishness. She was a girl after all. And she did want a kiss. She was the only one of her friends who hadn't done it, and her innate curiosity was driving her to find out what it was all about. She needed to know. Why did it make Hermione's eyes go so soft when she spoke about kissing Remus. Why did Harry get that stupid goofy grin on his face every time he emerged from the RoR with Pandora? Why couldn't Petunia just shut up about Dorian? It was driving her mental._

_She was so lost in her thoughts she didn't notice that she'd almost walked right into a lamppost until she felt Severus' arm shoot out to stop her. He stared at her with one eyebrow raised, smile tugging at the corners of his mouth._

“ _Honestly Lil, you're almost as bad as my sister.”_

_She gasped in mock indignation. “You take that back!”_

_He laughed loudly, usual sour expression momentarily absent. “Never!”_

_He ran away giggling while Lily pursued him as fast as her legs would carry her, all the way to the small park across the way from Spinner's end. She finally caught up with him at the swings, where neither of them had played in years._

“ _Fancy a swing?” He asked wryly, gesturing for her to sit while he pushed her._

_She accepted with a smile, throwing her legs back and forth like she was five-years old again. She looked back, catching Sev's eye. Things were always so_ easy _with him. They understood each other perfectly, and she thought that life would be so simple if she could just fall in love with her best friend. Maybe she could. Everyone else seemed to be pairing off and finding love. Why couldn't they have each other? She batted away the image of a certain messy haired, bespectacled friend as it flashed through her mind. No. Severus was her very best friend, and she knew that he liked her. She had seen him looking, and she knew that she could fancy him if she tried._

_She eyed him subtly as she swung back and forth. He really was quite beautiful in this light. The lowering sun cast a halo around his head, reflecting against soft shiny black hair. She took in the way he wore his half-smile, the way it transformed his face entirely and considered for the first time that her best friend was not wholly unpleasant to look at._

_She slowed the swing to a stop, meeting his gaze with a quiet intensity. The smile drifted away as he stared back, searchingly. She raised one hand and gently tugged at a lock of his now shoulder-length hair._

“ _This is getting fairly long. Do you think you'll keep it that way?”_

_His voice sounded shaky and nervous as he replied. “I'm not sure. Do you think I should?”_

_She laughed softly, “I like it, it suits you. But you shouldn't wear it hanging over your face the way you do. Don't hide Sev, you've no reason to.”_

_She searched her pockets for a hair elastic, coming up empty. After a minute, she was struck with an idea._

“ _Here, turn around.” He did as he was bid, standing stock still as she undid the leather string bracelet she wore around her wrist, using it to tie his hair in a low bun at the nape of his neck._

“ _There. That looks much better.”_

_He turned around and gave her a look that could only be described as tender. She thought that this should probably have excited her, but instead her gut just clenched uncomfortably._

“ _Thanks Lily. Here, since you gave me your bracelet.”_

_She smiled as he slipped his own braided thread bracelet, the one he had worn since Hermione had bought it for him at a fair when they were ten, from his wrist and tied it around hers instead._

“ _Friendship bracelets Sev? Aren't we a bit old?”_

_He grinned again, “Never.”_

_There was a moment of heavy silence, their breaths and heartbeats filling the empty space between them. She heard his breathing hitch and stutter when she raised her hand again, tucking an escaped strand of hair behind his ear._

“ _Will you do something for me Sev?”_

_He gulped audibly, making her smile gently. “Yeah?”_

“ _Would you kiss me?” He looked momentarily stunned, as though his entire system had refused to go on for a few seconds, trying to process what she had just said. Unable to speak, he nodded stiffly, raising shaky hands to her shoulders before leaning in and slowly pressing his lips against hers. She closed her eyes, responding to him immediately._

_Just like that, they were kissing. They were kissing and it was... awful. Oh God it was terrible. This was what she imagined kissing her brother would be like if she had one. It was dispassionate, awkward and not at all what she'd thought snogging would be like. After an endless minute of relentless dry pecking, she pulled back, trying to hide the disappointment that she knew was written all over her face._

_She forced herself to meet Sev's eyes, and was simultaneously delighted and offended by the repulsed grimace she saw there._

“ _Well that was...” she trailed off uncomfortably, fiddling with the band on her wrist._

“ _Terrible?” he said bluntly, never one to sugar coat things._

“ _Yes.” she agreed, relieved that he had been the one to say it. “Not that you were doing anything wrong, it just felt a bit like kissing family.”_

“ _And you have a lot of experience with that?” He asked coolly, arching one eyebrow._

_She pushed him in the chest hard enough to send him stumbling back a few steps. “Shove off you. Race you back to mines? Tuney made another lemon drizzle cake yesterday.”_

_He smiled, slightly less widely than before, but took off after her at full speed anyway._

Things had been slightly off between them ever since, but Lily was confident they'd get back to normal soon enough. In the meantime, she couldn't wait to get back to school and show Hermione how far she'd come with her Occlumency, and to catch up with Mary and Marley. The pair had spent a week in Italy together with Mary's family and she was excited to hear all about it.

“I'm just saying mate, if you don't want to get slapped then maybe you shouldn't provoke her like that.”

“I was defending her honour!”

She snapped her head up as James and Sirius entered the compartment, the latter's cheek looking slightly redder than usual. This reeked of Marlene. Those two were the biggest drama queens ever to grace the halls of Hogwarts,Lily was sure. It was no wonder they hated each other, too much competition for the spotlight. It was practically inevitable that one of them was either going to be married or murdered by the other one day. Only time would tell which urge would win out in the end.

James snorted in amusement. “The day that girl needs your protection is the day I paint myself green and insist you call me Salazar.”

Sirius glowered, looking extremely petulant as he crossed his arms over his chest and flopped down into the empty spot beside Severus.

“Well I don't like that people are still believing that shite Pettigrew was spreading around about me and her.”

“And you 'defending her honour' dissuades those rumours how exactly?” Severus drawled, thumbing through an old copy of _Potioneers' Digest._

Sirius looked thoroughly vexed by this logical point, while James just smiled smugly, sending Lily's heart fluttering. She ignored it faithfully. _If she pretended not to notice, then surely it would eventually go away on it's own?_

“So Bambi, how was the rest of your summer?” Sirius asked cheerfully, apparently quickly recovered from his bad mood. She noticed that this sudden shift seemed to directly correlate with the cauldron cake Remus had slipped him between soppy stares at Hermione.

She and Sev immediately shifted their eyes away from each other, deciding by silent agreement never to speak of the embarrassing kiss ever again.

“Oh it was quite quiet really. Just went to the pictures a few times, hung around at home and annoyed Tuney. The usual. You?”

“Grandfather had an old Auror friend of his stop by to give Ceph, Reggie and I some duelling lessons. It was wicked! Merlin you should see Ceph duel, I had no idea! Poor Reg though, he could barely get one shot off.”

Lily was scandalized. “You used magic outside of school! The Statute of Secrecy _specifically_ says-”

She was cut off by Hermione's poorly-concealed giggles, promptly followed by Remus' full-blown belly laughter. She looked around the compartment to see if anyone else had a clue what was going on. Sirius looked like he was the only other person who might have a clue what was so funny, smirking in amusement. Meanwhile Severus just looked annoyed, scowling at the obnoxious laughter. James just caught her eye and shrugged, grinning. Lily couldn't help but melt a little bit. _Only a very little bit_ , she assured herself as she smiled at him in return, earlier indignation forgotten.

“What about you Prongs? How did your summer end up?” she asked brightly, trying to ignore the incessant _thud-thump_ of her racing heart.

He pushed his glasses up his nose and paused to mess up his hair before answering. _I wonder if he knows what a prat he looks when he does that,_ she thought fondly.

He looked her right in the eye, smiling as he spoke. “I dunno. It was okay, the first half was much better than the second.”

He held his stare for a few seconds, seemingly satisfied only when he saw the heat rising to her cheeks. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears now, and her palms were suspiciously damp. She let her hair fall forward over her face to hide her blush as she lamented her current position. There was no denying it now, all the signs were there – _She had a crush on James Potter!_

**Room of Requirement, Hogwarts, Scotland January 11 th 1975**

    _"And what is all this noise about? Explain."_
    
    _"Potter attacked me, sir—"_
    
    _"We attacked each other at the same time!" Harry shouted._
    
    _"and he hit Goyle—look—"_
    
    _"Hospital wing, Goyle,"_
    
    _"Malfoy got Hermione! Look!"_
    
    _He looked coldly at Hermione. "I see no difference."_
    
    _The girl let out a whimper; her eyes filled with tears. She turned on her heel and ran all the way up the corridor and out of sight._
    
    _"Let's see. Fifty points from Gryffindor and a detention each for Potter and Weasley. Now get inside, or it'll be a week's worth of detentions."_
    
    Severus forcibly ejected himself from the Pensieve, shaking his head as he fought back the bile that threatened to make its way up his throat.
    
    “This is nonsense Hermione. That's not me. I don't know what ridiculous scheme you're concocting here with Black, but I don't believe a word if it.”
    
    He cursed his voice for betraying him as he heard it crack and squeak, providing clear evidence of his distress. No matter, he decided, it didn't change the validity of his argument. He wasn't sure how his sister had managed to create false memories of such impressive quality, but if anyone could do it, it would be her he was sure. After all no one could accuse Hermione of being unintelligent. Far more devious and cruel than he had previously believed, yes, but not stupid, and she could be incredibly creative when the situation called for it.
    
    It only stood to reason that the memory was a fake really. Either that or the pensieve Black's grandfather had procured was cursed in some way, made to distort the truth. Merlin knew that the entire family was dark, present company excluded. Or perhaps his sister was playing some elaborate joke on them all, and wasn't from another reality at all.
    
    Yes, this explanation made the most sense, he thought. After all, the whole story was too preposterous to be true in the first place. This smacked of Marauder mischief. It must be like the time Hermione had made matching friendship bracelets for Sirius and him, and then proceeded to laugh herself sick. It was simply a joke that only made sense to her.
    
    He looked at his sister expectantly, waiting for her to admit her deception, to announce the punchline and have a good laugh at his expense. Instead, he felt his stomach sink as he saw his twin's eyes slowly fill with tears, sympathy pouring out if her in waves.
    
    “I told you it was a bad idea to show you my memories of the other you. I _told you_ that he was an entirely different person from the one I know. That man was a lonely, sad, bitter man who had a very hard life and no friends. He's not you Sev.”
    
    She reached out to place her hand on his shoulder, perhaps to offer him comfort, or maybe to soothe his increasingly powerful full-body shakes. Either way, he didn't want her comfort or her pity. He shrugged her hand away violently, instead turning around and promptly vomiting all over his shoes. He retched painfully through sobs as the twisted version of himself played through his mind over and over again.
    
    He felt two pairs of arms catch him as he collapsed to the ground, barely noticing as the remnants of vomit vanished before his knees collided with the stone floor. He stared, unseeing as a familiar scent invaded his nostrils, cradling his head to her chest, stroking his hair gently, whispering words of comfort that hadn't been exchanged between them since they were children.
    
    “It's okay Sev, have a good cry. It's alright I'm here I'll look after you, I won't let anyone see. I'm going to make it all better I promise.”
    
    Too fraught to fight it, he allowed the words to wash over him, cooling his nerves until the shaking slowly started to subside. Later, he would be humiliated to learn that the other pair of hands that had held him, rubbing soothing circles into his back, had belonged to Harry. Right at that moment though, all he could feel was devastation.
    
    Finally, after what felt like an age, he was able to speak without sobbing. Now that he could, he articulated his fears, voice hoarse and raw as he did. “Hermione, how could I- I would never call Lily a … that word! I wouldn't!”
    
    She nodded in understanding, but didn't say anything in reply, allowing him to get everything off his chest at once.
    
    “And those spells! They were clever, but they were _evil._ I never want to make anything like that cutting spell. And I … And Lily... And James! God Hermione, I just stepped right over his... his body.” He swallowed down a fresh wave of panic as the image assaulted him again, closing his eyes to shut it out. “They died because of me. Because I joined... You-Know-Who. I ended up just like father, just like you said.” Another tear slipped from the corner of his eye as he hung his head in defeat.
    
    He heard a sharp intake of breath as his sister drew back to lock eyes with him. He was taken aback to see the fierceness in her expression, suddenly finding it very easy to believe that the girl before him had once fought a war.
    
    “Fuck that.”
    
    “What?” he must have looked as puzzled as he felt. He wasn't sure what reaction he'd expected, but it certainly hadn't been that.
    
    “I said, Fuck. That. Fuck all of that. You're fourteen, you haven't done _any_ of those things. I'm the one that's lived two lives, not you. That Severus was the very worst version of you, and you've already made a million good decisions that he would never have been capable of making.”
    
    He scoffed, as far as he could see the only real difference between the man in the pensieve and the boy he was now was time. “Oh really, like what?”
    
    She smirked, glad to see a spark of her surly brother returning. “Like choosing Ravenclaw so you could always be friends with Lily. Like being friends with the Gryffindors and becoming an Animagus to help out a friend. Like letting Lily go, and making Remus see what an arse he was being.”
    
    He felt his ears start to redden and scowled. Bloody werewolf couldn't keep a thing to himself. “A gargantuan feat, I assure you.”
    
    Hermione giggled, for once delighted to hear her brother disparage her sort-of boyfriend.
    
    “That's true enough.” He met her eyes and finally allowed himself a small smile.
    
    She beamed, looking as deranged as she always did when she was pleased.
    
    “Life's all about choices Sev. And if you ask me, you've made some pretty wonderful ones so far. Give yourself a little bit of credit. And you're forgetting the one thing you have that the other Snape didn't.”
    
    “Oh? And what's that?” He raised one eyebrow suspiciously at the mischievous gleam in her eyes.
    
    “Me.” She puffed out her chest and tossed her riotous curls over her shoulder. He blew out a laugh against his will. _Gryffindors._
    
    “Lucky him.”
    
    “Oh hush,” she waved a hand dismissively, “You love me and you know it. The point is, I will _never_ let your ego get big enough to make those kind of stupid decisions.”
    
    “And who'll be there to keep _your_ ego in check?” he teased, secretly immensely grateful for his sister's unshakeable self-confidence, letting it bolster his own in times such as these.
    
    “Tuney.” She declared, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
    
    “Ah of course, nothing like a good dose of Petunia Evans' tough love to put you in your place.”
    
    She laughed, holding out her hand to help him up. He accepted gratefully before begging off back to the Ravenclaw dorms. Although he felt infinitely better than he had before, he still needed time to think things through. All he knew for certain was that no matter what, he would never become that man from the pensieve again.
    
    
    . **Room of Requirement, Hogwarts, Scotland January 11** **th** **1975**
    
    “Harry?”
    
    “Hm?”
    
    “D'you reckon we did the right thing? Letting them see some of the memories?”
    
    “Yeah I do. We gave them each the choice, and we only showed them as much as they wanted to know. And besides, Remus was hilarious.” Hermione tried to suppress a grin at the memory.
    
    “ _Er, his hair is blue... are babies supposed to have blue hair?”_
    
    “ _I was your professor?! Merlin that's so wrong. I feel like such a lech. Oh God, Sirius will have a field day, no-one tell him!”_
    
    “ _What age am I here? Oh well, hope you like the silver fox look Hermione.”_
    
    Of course, Hermione had told him everything over the summer, so he had been somewhat prepared and had asked not to see the most painful moments. Lily, on the other hand, had been extremely disturbed by her counterpart's tragic ending, and hadn't wanted to see any of it except whatever had lead to the giggle fit on the train to school back in September. This had lead to a thoroughly embarrassing session of show and tell in which the entire group had gotten to see the old Hermione in all her former glory, all self-righteousness and propriety. Sirius had roared with laughter at the comparison between the two Gryffindor girls.
    
    “Not as funny as James.” Hermione protested.
    
    The boy had possessed a manic look of glee in his eyes unlike anything she'd ever seen when he had emerged from the memory of Harry's first flying lesson.
    
    “I'm not sure whether he's put together that Lily and he have a child together, or if he's just _really_ thrilled to be father to the youngest seeker in a century.”
    
    Harry chuckled lightly, but she could see the joy beaming out of him at her words. For all that in this world he was Cepheus Black, with an entirely different family, she knew that the part of him that was Harry Potter would never get tired of seeing his parents alive and well. To have such clear evidence of their pride on top of that must have been a gift beyond words.
    
    “Maybe both? Sirius took it well I though.” Hermione nodded her agreement. Frankly she had been surprised by just how much the boy had taken in stride. Apparently getting out from under his parents' feet a few years early had done wonders for his temperament.
    
    “ _Well really, Azkaban looks like it does quite the number on my complexion. No thank you, I don't think that's an experience I'll be repeating this time around. Such a handsome face, hidden away from the world for twelve whole years? What a waste! What a tragedy!”_
    
    That had only left Reg, they hadn't had any memories to show him, and he had been quite reluctant to hear about his own future. Instead, he had asked to hear more about creature rights and legislation passed by the Wizengamot in the future, and what could be done to prevent or help along certain laws. He certainly was a pragmatic little snake, and Hermione had been thrilled to share her knowledge.
    
    “Rightly or wrongly, I'm glad we told them.” Hermione mused. “I think secrecy was a big part of the problem with the Order the first time. If we're going to win, we have to work as a team.”
    
    He tilted his head, tone slightly teasing. “Together 'til the end, whatever that might mean?”
    
    She smiled, leaning her head against his shoulder. “Until the very end.”
    
    
    
    **A/N: So, there it is. I hope it was worth the wait... Lemme know what you guys think!**
    
    
     **Til** **next time,**
    **SJ**
    


	17. Drive Me Wild

Chapter 17: Drive Me Wild

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment ***

**A/N: Okay folks, I know I should really be getting on with the story, but I couldn't resist writing a bit of Remus/Hermione fluff for you all in honour of my nine-year anniversary/ recent engagement to my dude. First slightly (VERY SLIGHTLY) lemony scene in this chapter. These will be appearing occasionally from now on, you have been warned.**

**A/N2: Holy Hippogriffs! I just noticed that this story recently hit 300 followers! That's so crazy to me, thanks guys :)**

**Hogwarts, Scotland, March 10 th 1975**

“So, in the future, when I was your professor... did you fancy me at all?” Hermione tossed her hair over her shoulder and let out a hearty laugh, making his pulse stutter a few beats. She looked beautiful like this, with her hair windswept and wild, cheeks flushed a fetching red from the biting March winds. They had been walking around the grounds for over an hour, having head out straight after class. They had only intended to take a turn around the lake but had gotten caught up, as they so often did, discussing anything and everything, from elf rights and magical theory, to his childhood and her experiences from the first war.

“No, I certainly did not! That would have been highly inappropriate!” She denied, although the impish grin on her face told a different story.

“Are you sure? Not even a teeny, tiny one?” He flashed her a teasing smile, stopping to take a seat underneath their favourite sallow tree, tucked away at the furthest end of the lake from the castle just shy of the forbidden forest.

She plonked herself down beside him with zero grace, throwing her backpack to the ground with a heavy thud. She crossed her arms, sticking her nose in the air, her tone falsely imperious.

“Such impertinent questions. I'd expect better from you Professor Lupin.”

He felt his cheeks redden even as the giggles took hold. _Professor Lupin._ He couldn't stop the secret flush of pleasure that ran through him every time he heard the phrase. It sounded right somehow, and he couldn't help but harbour the clandestine fantasy that one day someone would call him that for real.

Eventually, the pair trailed off into silence, each lost in their own thoughts. It was a peaceful, companionable quiet that seemed to settle comfortably into the air around them. He revelled in the feel of the gentle breeze as it moved through his hair and the weight of Hermione's head as it rested on his shoulder, the two of them staring off into the distance where the lowering sun painted the sky a breathtaking abstract of swirling pinks and soft oranges. He smiled as he heard the girl beside him sigh happily. She was always so expressive – how she had managed to keep such a massive secret from the group for so long was beyond comprehension. Hermione was talented at many things, but the girl could not lie to save her life, and despite her impressive skills as an Occlumens, her emotions were always broadcast across her face for anyone to see.

“Remus, are you sure you don't want to do anything else for your birthday? Surely dinner in the kitchens isn't all you want? It's not too late for me to gather the gang together and organise a little party.” She picked at the sleeve of his old woollen jumper, clearly anxious, worried as she always was that she wasn't doing enough.

He lifted his arm, wrapping it around her shoulders to offer a reassuring squeeze. “I could think of worse ways to spend an evening than watching the sun set with my extremely lovely girlfriend.”

He froze as he felt her stiffen beside him. _Shit._ He felt the panic start to rise, his mouth growing dry as he tried to find the words to take back what he'd just said. G _irlfriend._ Was she his girlfriend? He wasn't sure. Of course, they hand exchanged a few small kisses since the summer, and they spent most of their free time together, but they hadn't actually broached the topic of official titles. He cursed himself internally. What if he had ruined things between them? What a fine birthday gift that would make. He opened his mouth, hoping to say something, _anything_ that might rectify the situation. Instead, he was mortified when all that came out amounted to little more than incoherent babbling.

“I- I meant. Not that you're my- What I meant to say was-”

“Girlfriend... Yes I think I like the sound of that.” She relaxed back into his arms once again, eyes soft and twinkling with amusement.

He felt his heartbeat start to quicken again, not from panic now, but from something infinitely more pleasing. He turned his head towards her, awestruck.

“You do?”

She tilted her head up towards him, eyes filled with something he couldn't name. “Yes, Quite.”

Before he had a chance to react she had grabbed him by the front of his jumper, pulling him towards her and kissing him breathless. This was unlike anything they'd done before. Her hands clawed and clutched at him desperately, making him moan in appreciation as his hands grasped her hips firmly. Their tongues battled fiercely, each swirling and sliding against the other, sending waves of pleasure crashing through him. Somehow, without any conscious thought on either of their parts, he had ended up with Hermione sitting in his lap, writhing and moaning as her hips moved over the extremely apparent erection straining against his trousers. He growled as she bit his lip hard, pulling back her hair as he kissed his way down the column of her throat. Months worth of built-up tension tried to break its way free, leaving them lost in a haze of lust.

She sighed and shivered as he nipped and sucked at her pulse point, running her hands through his soft, sandy hair. She closed her eyes, all senses firmly fixed on the delicious nibbling when without warning, she felt him grow rigid below her as he let out a strangled cry. It was not like any sound she'd ever heard him make before, and it had taken several confused seconds and a long look at Remus' horrified expression for her to realise what had happened.

She buried her head in his shoulder, trying to hide her laughter from him. A teenage boy's ego was a fragile thing after all, and she didn't want to embarrass him further.

“Oh Merlin Hermione I'm sorry!”

She drew her head back and patted down his fringe, trying to plaster a reassuring smile on her face. “Remus it's alright, we both got a bit carried away.” His eyebrows furrowed, concern evident from his expression. “Not that I didn't enjoy it,” she clarified quickly, terrified that any doubts he had as to her enjoyment would dampen the prospect of any repeats in the future.

He breathed a sigh of relief, finally able to meet her eyes. He was still fifty percent sure that he would die of embarrassment if anyone found out he'd made a mess of himself after only a few minutes of heavy snogging, but the other fifty percent of him was too ecstatic to care. _Hermione was his girlfriend! Officially!_ It was the best birthday present he could have asked for.

She stood up, smoothing down her hair and clothes before offering a hand to help him up. He accepted gratefully, suddenly finding he had an urgent need to get back to the castle and find a bathroom where he could get himself cleaned up. Not to mention that now the sun had fully set, and they might very well find themselves in detention if they didn't head back soon. They gathered their things and started the ten minute walk back to the main doors, holding hands and exchanging small, secretive smiles as they went, neither caring that they'd ended up without time for dinner.

They arrived back at the Gryffindor common room with only minutes to spare until curfew, having stopped several times along the way to indulge in yet another exhilarating round of kissing. She smiled at the gentlemanly way Remus helped her climb down from the portrait hole, unaware of the audience eagerly awaiting their return.

“Oh my God Hermione, is that a hickey?!”

Her hand flew to the tender spot on her neck at Lily's shocked yell, ignoring James and Sirius' matching expressions of glee to fix Remus with a murderous glare. He gulped, deciding that on this occasion, discretion might be the better part of valour as he hastily retreated towards the boys' staircase.

“Oh my, look at the time. I really should be heading to bed. Night Hermione!” He was already half way up the stairs when he heard her call after him.

“You're lucky it's your birthday Remus John Lupin!”

**Gryffindor Boys' Dormitory, Hogwarts, Scotland, March 10 th 1975**

“So, _someone_ had an eventful evening.”

Remus fought to keep his breathing deep and even, hoping that if he ignored the boys and kept his drapes closed that they might leave him alone.

“Come on Moony, we know you're not asleep, it's only eight o'clock.” He sighed heavily as James threw back the rich, heavy curtain, clearly unconcerned by such a trifling thing as his dorm-mate's privacy.

“I dunno Prongs, maybe he really _is_ asleep. Maybe he's all worn out from getting hot and heavy with our very own Miss Snape. I mean, she did look well and truly sha-”

“Oi!” He sat up, scowling. He should've known he would never have been allowed to get away with keeping the events of that evening to himself. His two best friends were too bloody nosy for that, worse than a couple of gossiping old dears really.

“Ah Moony, so good of you to join us!” Remus fought back the urge to smack the smug smile from his annoyingly handsome face.

“Yeah, now we can hear all about your wonderful, magical evening with the future Mrs. Lupin. Go on mate, we want to know everything.”

James plopped down on Remus' bed beside him, making himself comfortable, as was his wont. He kicked his shoes off onto the floor as he waved his hand to indicate that the boy should start talking. Never one to be left out, Sirius shucked his own shoes before climbing onto the bed himself, sitting cross legged at the foot. Despite himself, Remus smiled at the casual ease of their friendship. No matter how very, _very_ annoying they could be, he never failed to appreciate the almost cavalier way they had accepted him into the fold of their confidence. He supposed if there were anyone he could trust with the details it would be them. And besides, he was dying to talk about it all with someone. After a few moments of contemplation, he decided to tell them everything.

Well, _almost_ everything. No need to mention any embarrassing trouser-related incidents.

The boys listened intently, looking shocked and intrigued in equal measure as he told his tale. They were so enraptured they didn't notice the door to the dormitory open, or the soft footsteps as they moved across the floor.

“So that's it then? Hermione's your girlfriend?” James asked, sounding genuinely thrilled for his best friend.

“Of course she is! Why else would she be grinding on him like a Kneazle in heat?” Sirius scoffed, shoving his bespectacled friend in the shoulder. In response, the boy grabbed the nearest pillow and whacked him over the head with it. Sensing an impending pillow fight, Remus decided to divert their attention by answering the question instead.

“Yes, she's my girlfriend.” He grinned as Padfoot whooped loudly in celebration as he jumped on top of him, closely followed by James, creating a joyfully undignified dog-pile of giggling teenage boys.

Two beds over, a boy sat stewing. He simmered and fizzed as he listened to them carry on as if they hadn't a care in the world. He was sick of being left out, sick and more than tired of being told he wasn't good enough to join their special little friendship club. Everyone treated him as though he were little more than a particularly annoying fly buzzing around their ears, barely worth their notice. Well, he would make sure that they all regretted it. Especially that stuck up swot Hermione Snape, who'd laughed in his face when he'd tried to ask her to Hogsmeade last week.

“ _You can't be serious? You do nothing but skulk around like a sneaky little rat, spreading vicious rumours like they're the plague. You gossip and snipe and snivel like it's your full time job, and you've not a loyal bone in your body! What reason could I possibly have to say yes!”_

He cringed at the memory. Everyone thought she was so smart, so perfect, so _kind,_ but he had seen the way her face flushed with pleasure as she cut him down to the quick. She had revelled in his humiliation, and for what? Because he had told a few people that Marlene and Sirius had messed around a bit. It was the _truth._ At least it _could be_ true. Why else would her bra be hanging over his bed? It wasn't his fault that people had taken to calling the girl a slag. Even if he privately agreed.

No, Peter was certain he hadn't earned either her derision or her obvious disgust. Well, he was far cleverer than people gave him credit for, with a vindictive streak running through his very veins, and he was determined to make them all regret ever pushing him aside.

**A/N: I know this one is little shorter, but this just felt like a natural stopping point for the chapter. As always, let me know what you guys think!**


	18. Brothers

Chapter 18: Brothers

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment ***

**A/N: Here we go again! TW: Brief description of child abuse, nothing graphic but worth a warning anyway I'd say. Take care. Another shorter one, but I felt like this POV deserved it's own chapter.**

**A/N: TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY – I'VE LOST ALL SELF-CONTROL!**

**Great Hall, Hogwarts, Scotland, March 14 th 1975**

_My heart,_

_I hope this missive finds you well, and in good spirits. Your father and I miss you dearly. I cry for you often, my darling boy, trapped in that Manor with your grandfather. A most disagreeable man to be sure, but he is your Head of House, so I find there is very little I can do to bring you home where you belong._

_Perhaps you can appeal to him? I know that he respects your opinion, as well anyone with a modicum of intelligence should. And no-one could accuse Arcturus of stupidity, that I will allow. Grimmauld place feels empty without my two boys there to keep me company. Kreacher, the wretched little thing, has been next to useless without you around, and your father spends most of his time sulking in his study, bemoaning the loss of his son and heir. The sentimental fool even misses the other one. Oh blast that horrible child for bringing such ruin upon our house! I dare not even write his name for fear that I will scorch the parchment with the heat of my rage._

_Tell me, how is Cepheus? How is my boy? Just as all of my letters to you, my letters to him have gone unanswered. Are you on orders from your grandfather not to contact me? I know you must be, you were always such n obedient child, so sweetly obliging. Never fear my little prince, I know that you would write me if you could. I heard from Aunt Cassiopeia that you made Seeker for the Ravenclaw team. I know you must still be terribly disappointed that it's not Slytherin, but never underestimate the value of a keen mind or a quick wit. You shall be a boon to Ravenclaw house, of that I have no doubt. I have sent along your favourite treacle fudge courtesy of Kreacher to congratulate you._

_I hope to hear from you soon,_

_All my love,_

_Mother_

Regulus swore and crumpled the parchment into a ball before promptly setting it on fire, watching it turn to ash as he lamented his situation. It was unlike him to allow such an obvious show of emotion, but he knew that his brother was looking over from his place at the Gryffindor table, and felt that it was important for Sirius to know where he stood; firmly by his side. No matter how much he missed his parents. And he did miss them, fiercely, despite everything.

He knew that he shouldn't, though. These past few years he had started to see that his mother was a truly disturbed woman. He still had nightmares sometimes about the darkly elated look on her face as Sirius' screams rent the air. Her face had been red, upper lip wet with perspiration as her pupils expanded, blown so wide they almost swallowed her entire iris. She had been grinning, baring her teeth in satisfaction as her middle son cried and bled on the floor at her feet. The louder he had sobbed, the wider she had smiled, the more faraway the look in his father's eyes had grown as he stood there. Doing nothing.

As for Regulus, he had been rooted to the spot, frozen by fear. It was as though every one of his muscles had been petrified, his insides turned to ice as his heart beat mercilessly against his chest. He had never felt so small or so weak in his life, desperate to reach out, to stop it, but unable to do anything but stand there. It wasn't until she abandoned the wand altogether, dragging the boy up by the roots of his hair, slapping him so hard the sound echoed around the drawing room with a loud _crack,_ that he was catapulted into action.

He had to find someone, _anyone._ But who could help? He knew that he wasn't supposed to discuss family business in front of strangers, but there were strangers _everywhere_ at the Yule party. He ran and ran until his lungs burned, determined to grab the first person in the family he could find. After a few eternal minutes he found Ceph, talking to the pretty witch with too much hair.

“Mother...Sirius...in the drawing room, she was....hurting him.” he had managed to choke out. Thankfully they had managed to get to him in time before any irreparable damage was done. In reality.

In his dreams though, he kept running and running, for hours as the the empty wood-finished hallways stretched out endlessly before him until he ended up back in the study where the floors ran red. He would collapse, out of breath, into a pool of blood, reaching out to touch the cold, pale hand of his older brother. The thing haunted him more than anything though, was that in the dream, even in death, Sirius was smiling.

He would always wake up, drenched in sweat, his face wet with tears. Thank Merlin for the Silencing charms Hermione had taught him to put around his bed when he had told her about the nightmares. She was the only one who knew, and he hadn't even told her on purpose. She had stumbled into the kitchens in the middle of one night in November of his first year while he had been there getting hot chocolate from the elves. Chatting to them had always cheered him up.

“ _Reggie? What are you doing up at this time?”_

_He smiled as he took in her dishevelled appearance; her already wild hair was sticking up at odd angles, her wrinkled pink pyjamas slightly too short at the ankles and covered in a faded pattern of frogs. Her grey holey t-shirt looked to be about three sizes too large and read “Harley! Made in Milwaukee”._

“ _I could ask you the same question.”_

_She looked startled by his response and he smiled wider. Apparently to catch Hermione Snape off guard all one had to do was catch her first thing in the morning. Or in this case, in the middle of the night._

“ _Ah, fair enough. I couldn't sleep, you?”_

_He frowned slightly. She always seemed so put together, what could possibly be keeping her up at night?_

“ _Same, just thought I'd come for a cup of hot chocolate and a bit of a chin wag with the night-shift elves. They always have the best stories.”_

_The youngest elf, Turvy, giggled and blushed as she magically dried and folded a mountain of crisp white sheets. “Oh, young Master Black is too kind. We is always happy to be having him here. Even when we knows he is supposed to be being in his bed!” She said the last park with a mock glare._

_Hermione beamed. “I know they do. It's because this castle isn't nearly as quiet as it should be of an evening, and the elves see everything.”_

“ _Miss Hermione is being a very smart witch. Will you be wanting any marshy-mallows on your hot chocolate?”_

“ _That would be perfect. Thanks Turvy.”_

“ _Oh yous is both being very polite, isn't you?” She shot the pair a happy grin as she snapped her gnarled little fingers, making a mug of perfectly warm sweet liquid appear in front of the girl sitting at the bench opposite._

“ _So Reg, tell me, what's keeping you up this fine evening?” He thought for a moment about lying, fobbing her off with some off-handed excuse, but something made him stop. There was a certain knowing look in her eye, an air of tired recognition and shared experience that told him she knew exactly what was robbing him of sleep. And so he told her everything, barely sparing a second to be embarrassed when slow tears started to slip down his cheeks._

And why should he be embarrassed? _He thought to himself suddenly,_ its fucking sad. I'm sad and for once in my life I'll have a little cry if I want to. _And he did._

_After he shared everything with her, she'd shared a few of her own nightmares. He had a feeling that like his, a lot of them were more memory than dream. She wiped his eyes and taught him the silencing charms on the condition that he promised to come to her for some Dreamless Sleep if he ever needed it. He agreed, and after that they had become fast friends. They shared secrets, gossiped and bonded over too many late night kitchen runs and passionate discussions on House-Elf Rights. There wasn't much he didn't share with her, and she in turn confided in him about her nightmares, about Remus, and more recently about her fears for the future._

For the first time, in perhaps his entire life, he could honestly say he had one person outside of his own family he could trust with anything. It was incredibly comforting to have a friend. That was why he found himself getting up from the Ravenclaw table, vanishing the smouldering ruins of his mothers rambling letter, and exiting the Great Hall towards the library in search of Hermione. He was half way down the first-floor corridor when he heard sniffling coming from the small window seat to his left.

He turned his head towards the noise, only to be met bya most surprising sight. His fellow Ravenclaw and dorm-mate, Rabastan Lestrange. Rab was a pureblood boy, one more carefully stoic than any of the Black brothers on any given day, and yet here he was crying openly in the middle of a corridor, letter clutched so tightly in his had that his knuckles were turning white.

Regulus was stunned. What could possibly have caused this? He had known Rab his entire life. They had never been friends necessarily, but they had attended all of the same events growing up and had played together as young boys. Never in all that time, not even when they had been very small children, had he seen the boy so much as frown, let alone cry. Something must be very wrong.

Considering, not for the first time, that he may be spending too much time with Gryffindors, he lifted the boy by the collar of his robes and pulled him into an empty classroom nearby, immediately setting every privacy ward he could think of over the entrance. And there were a lot he could think of. Grandfather, Cepheus and Hermione had each been teaching him wards individually. Not that any of them knew that, but Regulus felt than one could never know too many spells.

“What the hell are you playing at Black?” Rab snarled, his red puffy eyes somewhat dulling the intimidating effect he was obviously trying to give off.

Regulus just smiled kindly, hoping he looked reassuring rather than just barmy.

“There, I've put up a fortress-load of wards. Now you can have your cry in private without anyone bothering you.”

_Ah, barmy it is then,_ he thought to himself. The look the other boy was giving him would have been comical if his hands weren't still shaking.

“I don't know what you're talking about. I wasn't crying.”

He sighed, it wasn't as though he had expected anything different he supposed. All purebloods were the same, himself included.

“Okay then.” He shrugged, “I just thought you could use some privacy, but I'll take the wards down if you want.”

The other boy just stared at him, confusion visible in his deep brown eyes. They stayed like that for a few minutes, neither making any effort to move towards the door. It wasn't long until the boy couldn't hold it back anymore and his lip started to tremble as his eyes filled with tears. He sagged down into the chair Regulus had hastily fetched for him, burying his head in his hands as his dark hair flopped over his face. Unsure what to do now, Regulus hesitantly placed a hand on the boys shaking shoulders.

He wished he was better equipped to offer him comfort, but in truth he was very new to this business of emotional honesty and wasn't sure how to proceed.

“It's from my brother.” Rabastan said after a while, nodding his head to indicate the letter he still held in his hands.

“Oh?” Regulus had to suppress a shudder at the thought of Rodolphus Lestrange. He was an intimidating man, with cruel eyes and a sharp voice that sounded like splinters. He'd been mightily upset when cousin Bella had been betrothed to him, almost as upset as she had been. For all her faults, she had always been kind to him, and he had hated to see her married off to that brute.

It had all been arranged rather quickly, and through a slightly more mature perspective he had figured out that Uncle Cygnus had caught her kissing her childhood friend Amaia Shafiq at a Summer Ball, and married her off as quickly as possible to avoid a scandal. He still remembered the way she had cried the night before her wedding. Horrible, piteous keening that made him cover his head with a pillow just to muffle the sound.

Any man that could reduce Trixie to tears wasn't a man to be trifled with.

“Yeah,” he sniffed, swiping furiously at his eyes. “Apparently father passed away last week.”

Regulus' eyes widened in shock. “And he's just telling you _now?_ In a _letter?_ That's awful Rabastan, I'm so sorry for your loss.”

“That's not even the worst of it,” He said bitterly, “Now Roddy is my Head of House, and I have to do what he says. He's informed me I'm to be introduced to a _special friend_ of his over Easter.”

He paled. _Surely not?_ He sank down into his own seat beside Rabastan's.

“You don't mean.. _him,_ do you?”

Rab's usually smooth dark skin looked waxy and pale as he answered in voice barely above a whisper. “The Dark Lord. Yeah.”

“But you're only _thirteen_!” Reg exclaimed, voice sounding squeaky and panicked in a way his grandfather definitely would not approve of. “What could he possibly want from you?”

“Apparently it's about 'meeting the right people' before my induction right after O.W.Ls.”

He was at a loss, he didn't know what he would do if he were the one being forced to face that monster. A few select memories from Hermione's pensieve were enough to convince him that he never wanted to be in the man's presence.

“Why are you telling me all of this?” In lieu of comforting words, he asked a question that had formed in his mind as soon as the other boy had started talking.

“I don't know.” he confessed quietly, staring resolutely down at the parchment in his hands. “Maybe I just needed someone to talk to.”

Regulus nodded, he could certainly understand that. Hadn't he only a short while ago been on his way to find Hermione for the very same reason. Well, this had certainly served to take his mind off his own family problems for a short while anyway. Maybe that was why Hermione was always meddling in other people's affairs?

“And maybe it's because I think I should warn you.”

“Warn me?” He squinted in confusion.

“Apparently Bella had been talking about taking you along to a gathering soon as well. Roddy says she's quite fond of you.”

He felt his stomach clench in dread even as he forced his face to remain smooth and unconcerned. _Him? Go to a Death Eater meeting?_ He made a mental note to never again be alone with Trixie if he could avoid it.

“Thanks for the warning, I'll keep it in mind.”

He indicated his head slightly before standing up and taking a deep breath. “I think I'm alright now, if you could take the wards down.”

“Just a minute.” Reg waved his wand over the boy, casting a subtle cooling charm on his face and gently steaming the wrinkles from his robes. Now, no-one who wasn't looking for it would ever know that he had been crying.

For the first time that day, the boy shot him a smile. It was small, and slightly sad, but it was there.

“Thanks Reggie.”

“No worries.” he waved the boy off as he started to dismantle the wards before continuing, “And I don't mind listening if you ever need to talk again, you know.”

Rabastan snorted. “So you'll be what? My confidant?”

“Or your friend?” He suggested hopefully as he took down the last layer of warding.

Rab didn't say anything in reply as he headed towards the door, and just as Regulus was starting to feel the disappointment set in, the boy turned back with his hand still on the doorknob.

“Alright then, Friends.” He held out his hand for Reg to shake, which he did eagerly.

_Hey, look at that!_ He thought, _I'm getting good at this friendship thing._

**A/N: So, a bit more of Regulus, whom I adore! And a bit of a different take on Rabastan too. Please let me know what you guys think?**

**Til next time,**

**SJ**


	19. Starlight

Chapter 19: Starlight

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment ***

**TRIGGER WARNING!: Please pay attention to this warning. There's a flash forward(ish) section in this chapter. This is the section all in italics. It will contain Pregnancy Loss, Major Character Death, Infant Death and Violence. Nothing will be graphic but it's all in there so please take care of yourselves.**

**A/N: Here's another one. Time to see what our favourite boy hero has been up to, it sure has been a while since we've seen him. Found these lyrics just too perfect not to include.**

_The starlight  
I will be chasing a starlight  
Until the end of my life  
I don't know if it's worth it anymore _

_-Muse_

**Great Hall, Hogwarts, Scotland, March 16 th 1975**

_Cepheus,_

_Regrettably, I have not made much in the way of progress regarding the issue you had asked me to look into. So far the Malfoys are proving more stubborn than I had anticipated. Apparently Cissa's unceremonious breaking off of her engagement to their boy was hardly the civil exchange she had led us to believe, making them less than receptive to any overtures from a Black. Greengrass, on the other hand, is proving himself to be both an astute businessman and a potentially useful ally. I may align with the man even if my efforts prove fruitless._

_I get the impression that although he was fully aware of who he was getting into bed with, metaphorically speaking, when he aligned himself with the Malfoys, he had very little choice in the matter. Either way, this negotiation will not be an easy one, and I feel I must warn you of the very real possibility that I may not be able to get you what you want, much as it pains me to admit. The contract is iron-clad, so unless the Malfoys give it up of their own accord there is little to be done without the penalty clause being enacted._

_I know this is not the news you had wished to hear my boy, and I am sorry for it. If you want the advice of an old man, here it is; Don't waste a minute. Be happy with your witch, and in time perhaps you can convince her to hang the contract and come away with you anyway. Perhaps you can't, but either way you'll have a sea of happy memories to help you weather the storm. Don't get lost in grief and worry over events that may never come to pass, all you'll do is miss the life that's happening around you._

_Grandmother sends her regards along with some home made shortbread to share with your lady. She also told me to insist that you bring her to family dinner over the Easter break. I told her it would be inappropriate given the circumstances, but was none too kindly informed to, and I quote: “hang tradition from the highest broomstick, I want to meet my future granddaughter!”_

_Remember to keep on top of your classes, and stay focused on your mission. We're so proud of you son._

_All the best,_

_Grandfather (and Grandmother!)_

Harry swallowed down the embarrassing urge to cry. It wasn't anything he hadn't expected really, but this was the first time he could remember that his grandfather hadn't been able to fix everything for him. He knew that the man would keep trying, and felt a rush of gratitude and affection knowing how willing he had been to approach the Malfoys despite his life-long disdain for the entire clan. Despite this though, he couldn't help but read the subtext present throughout the entire missive. If Arcturus Black was admitting even the possibility of defeat, they had already lost.

He raged silently. It wasn't fair! How could he just sit back and watch while Pandora, _his_ Pandora, married that Malfoy prat? And only two years from now too.

_Don't waste a minute,_ Grandfather had said. Not that there were too many of those as it was. Only two years worth. He tucked the letter into his Potions textbook before stowing it away in his backpack. He had intended on heading to the library to finish his essay after breakfast but found he had quite lost his appetite. He glared angrily at the table as he sat in silence, filtering out the quiet chattering that filled the mostly empty Great Hall. He was pulled from his brooding by a familiar burning sensation against his wrist.

_R U OK?_

He lifted his eyes ever so slightly to see that Hermione had arrived at breakfast, Remus and Lily in tow. She wasn't looking back, seemingly engrossed in the tea she was fixing for the group, but he could see a subtle glint of gold as she tucked her charm back up into her sleeve. He sighed, shaking his head slightly in exasperation. Sometimes that girl knew him too well. Apparently no amount of Occlumency or comportment training could hide him from Hermione.

_NO_

He shot off the simple reply before returning his fiery gaze to the same particular knot of wood he had been staring at moments before. He swore under his breath as his wrist burned again. Couldn't a man get a moment's peace to wallow?

_ROR? 10 Mins?_

He smiled slightly. Apparently not. He sent his affirmative reply before gathering his things and leaving for the main staircase. Despite himself, he was looking forward to spending some much-needed quality time with his best friend for the first time in weeks. He was extremely happy that she and Remus had found happiness with each other, but the young wolf did have a tendency to monopolize her time. Not intentionally, but anyone with eyes could see how easily the pair got wrapped up in one another. It were as though there was no-one else in the room when they were together. He only wished it were like that with him and Pan.

She was beautiful, kind, and ridiculous. He adored her for her silly oversized glasses, and the way she wove feathers through her hair. He drowned himself in her kisses, and seared the memory of her fingerprints like a brand onto his skin. Their love was wonderful and all-encompassing, but they could never be allowed lose themselves fully the way Remus and Hermione were. They couldn't revel in the bliss of their feelings, or allow themselves to be quietly, beautifully content. There was always an undercurrent of frantic desperation running just below the surface of every touch, an air of wistful longing behind every laugh, a bracing for impact with every 'I love you'. It was exhausting.

He found his mood had dipped again as he finally reached the seventh floor. He reprimanded himself as he paced back and forth, waiting for the door to appear. He had known when they first started that he wouldn't get to keep her. She had told him that they weren't forever, but as usual he had stupidly thrown himself head-first towards the danger. He had allowed himself to fall further and further each day, all the time knowing that all he had waiting for him at the bottom was pain as he hit the ground.

He yanked the door open with more force than was strictly necessary, only to be stunned as found himself faced with an exact replica of the kitchen at the Burrow. Apparently, in his anguish, the Room had decided to provide him with the place he found most comforting. His senses assaulted him with memories of the scent of home-made treacle-tart, the soft feeling of warm woollen jumpers and the sound of raucous laughter wafting through from the sitting room. A million happy moments flooded his consciousness as his eyes grew itchy and wet, filled with wistful nostalgia and the yearning for home. For the first time since his trip back, he wished for his old life.

He longed to hear Ron's laugh again, or to smell Ginny's hair. He would have given anything in that moment for just _one_ of Mrs. Weasley's hugs, suffocating though they were. Somehow life here just felt more complicated, filled with secrets and half-truths. It was just another place where he could never fully be himself, a place where the girl he loved would be marrying another man.

He never noticed the sound of the door opening as he sank into the well-worn wooden chair at the magically-expanded table.

“Harry? What is this place?”

He hastily swiped at his cheeks before turning around to face his unexpected companion.

“The Weasley's place, from my time. Pan, what are you doing here? I was expecting-”

“Hermione? Yes I bumped into her on my way here and asked her to let me come and talk to you in her place. It's very charming you know, this place. I'm not surprised you'd turn to it for comfort.”

“But how did you know-” He paused when he saw the expectant look on her face, suddenly sure he was missing something.

“How did I know? Really Harry? Haven't you learned by now that I know _everything_? ”

Of course, her Sight. He smacked himself mentally, how could he have forgotten?

“I thought that was Hermione.” he quipped, trying to force himself to smile.

“No, she just _thinks_ she knows everything.” She corrected lightly, her tone matching his forced cheer.

“Ah yes, that's it.”

They sat in silence for a few seconds, an air of unease filling the air around them.

“Harry, I know what you've asked your Grandfather to do, and I'd like you to stop.”

He felt his entire body tense angrily, but managed to keep his tone cool and sharp. “You'd like him to stop. Am I allowed to ask why?”

She sighed sadly, that same burdened sigh he'd heard the other million times they'd had this argument.

“You know this marriage has to happen. I've _told_ you-”

“But you haven't told me _why?_ Dammit Pandora this isn't _fair!_ You can't ask me to just stand back and watch while you marry someone you don't love. It'll finish me. _”_ Unable to hold himself back any longer, the words exploded out of him as his heart gnawed and throbbed with panic.

She sank to her knees before him, grabbing his chin and pulling hard to force him to meet her eyes.

“Do you honestly believe I _want_ it to be this way? That at some point over these last few years I have taken leave of all my senses and somehow grown to desire _Lucius Malfoy_ for a husband?”

Harry, raw and senseless, spat back angrily; “I don't know, maybe you fancy yourself Lady of Malfoy Manor. A lot of fancy parties and frilly dresses in that job description. Or maybe it's Prince Lucius and his stupid hair.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, he wished that he could grab them from the ether and stuff them back inside his stupid mouth. He could see the hurt shining in her eyes, despite the hard set of her mouth and jaw, her pureblood upbringing transforming her into someone new entirely. She let go of his face and started to rise, smoothing her robes as she spoke in tone of icy indifference.

“Perhaps you're right. What's freedom after all, compared to _parties?_ What's love, and excitement and true happiness, in the face of _frilly dresses?”_ He felt a heavy ball of guilt settle in his stomach, a hard lump sticking to his throat as he struggled to find words profound enough to convey his regret.

“Well, now that I know you think so little of me I won't bother discussing the issue any further. Kindly assure your grandfather that although I am grateful for his concern, it is no longer necessary.”

He jumped up as she turned to walk away, her anger growing more apparent with every click of her Mary Janes.

“Pan! I'm sorry. Pan, please stop. Please wait Star!” He grabbed her wrist just as she reached the door, desperation holding him firmly in its grip.

To his immense relief, she did stop, although she didn't turn to face him. He ran his hands through his hair, causing it to stand comically on end. Pity he didn't feel much like laughing.

“I'm an arse. I'm so sorry. I knew none of that was true even while I was saying it. Well, except the part about Malfoy's stupid hair, that's true enough.”

Pandora, who had finally turned to face him, eyed his own mop of hair dubiously. He winced.

“Okay, fair enough, maybe I'm not one to talk but still. Where was I? Oh shite. Well, basically I'm just sorry. A sorry arsehole with hair as stupid as Lucius Malfoy who can't even-”

That was as far as he got before he was interrupted by the glorious sound of Pandora giggling. He smiled at her in return, a confused smile that only served to set off a fresh wave of laughter.

“Oh, I do love you Harry Potter. You and your big mouth.” She practically skipped the two steps it took to reach him before pushing herself up onto her tiptoes to place a soft kiss on his lips.

“But be warned, if you ever speak to me like that again, I swear you'll not be speaking to _anyone_ for a good long while.” He shivered, torn between fear and arousal. She may look angelic, but the girl could be terrifying when the mood struck her. That all her threats were delivered with a kiss and a sweet smile did nothing to lessen their effectiveness.

“Fair enough. Now can we talk?”

The smile slipped almost immediately from her face, replaced with a look so glum he wished he'd never spoken.

“I suppose we should.”

He nodded his head, taking her hand as he gently guided her to the comfy sofa in the familiar sitting area the Room had kindly provided access to.

“So. Why don't you tell me why you think you have to go through with it. Don't give me that rubbish about contracts and money, you _know_ that I have more than enough to sort you and your family thirty times over.”

She shot him a sharp look of warning. “Even if I _were_ to let you do that. Which I wouldn't, by the way. It's one thing to be bought and paid for by a swine like Lucius, but another thing entirely to let you do it. It's not a debt I could ever repay.”

She must have seen him gearing up to protest, jumping in quickly to continue. “ _Second of all,_ I don't _think_ I have to do this. I know it. I've _Seen_ it.”

He snorted in disgust, “Prophecies, again. I'm so sick of prophecies. They never mean what you think they do, and half the time they're self-fulfilling. Bloody load of hippogriff sh-”

“This isn't prophecy. That's not how my Sight works Harry. It's visions, and visions of visions. It's definite points, surrounded by vague possibility. It's knowing what _might_ come to pass, and what _has to._ ”

“And this...this has to?” He heard his voice crack and wobble as he spoke. She'd never discussed her gift with him before, not really, and he'd never asked. It had always felt too personal. Now he wished he had asked sooner.

“Yes. I'm sorry Harry.” For the first time since this entire wretched conversation began, she allowed herself to cry. A single tear, that slowly dragged down her face, carrying within it the entire weight of her grief and sorrow. She reached out a hand, placing it in his as she closed her eyes.

**Elsewhere, Time and Date Unknown**

“ _Don't do it Pan. Please Star, come away with me. Hang the future. Hang all of it. Lets just run, we'll figure it out together. Don't ask me to be without you. Don't make me watch you sign your life away to him. Marry me instead.”_

_She looked older, they both did, but only slightly. Harry stared at the pair in confusion._ _What_ was _this?_ _He studied the ancient-looking dressing room, larger and far showier than the one at Black Manor. He took in the long, complicated braid she wore, ending at the small of her back, all manner of delicate wild-flowers weaved through it, and the floaty blush-coloured dress. She looked perfect, like some fairy queen from the old stories. He noticed the perfectly tailored suit his future self was wearing and it didn't take long for him to come to the conclusion that he was at Pandora's wedding._

_Why had she brought him here? This was the absolute last place he wanted to be right now._ _He didn't want to see the pained looked and undisguised longing shining in his future-self's eyes. Was this his future? Would he be forever pining for her? He could practically see the way future-Harry's heart split open, spilling all over the floor for her._

“ _Okay. Yes, Let's go” He had never heard her voice so unsure, so small._

_He gaped at her, clearly unable to comprehend what he'd just heard._

“ _Yes?”_

“ _Yes.” She sounded more confident now, her eyes shining with happiness. “But quickly, before anyone sees.”_

“ _I'm on it!”_

_They both jumped in fright, guilty expressions easily discernible through the shock._

“ _Merlin Hermione. You have got to stop doing that!” Harry exclaimed, sighing in relief._

“ _What? Eavesdropping, or walking in on your private moments?” she teased, tucking one neat curl behind her ear. Present Harry smiled to see the small diamond on her ring finger. No surprises there. Now, where was-_

“ _Both, I would imagine.” Ah, there was Remus “We shall endeavour to stop from this day forward, I promise. Our wedding gift to you.”_

“ _I thought our wedding gift was causing a distraction so they could actually_ get _married in the first place?”_

“ _What we can't get them two gifts?”_

“ _Of course we can, I'm just saying-” He smiled as their voices trailed away, bickering as they made their way down the corridor, presumably to cause the aforementioned distraction._

“ _Harry, I'm scared.”_

_He took her hand and brought it to his lips, brushing a soft kiss against the knuckles. “Me too. But it's going to be great. It's me and you, alright? Forever.”_

_She smiled a watery smile, took one steadying breath and clasped her hand tightly in his. “Okay. Let's go. Are you sure your grandfather will help us?”_

_Harry chuckled. “Are you kidding? He'll be thrilled at the chance to stick it to old Abraxas. Let's do it.”_

_Just like that, he grabbed her hand and the two were dashing through the halls of Malfoy Manor, matching looks of unbridled glee upon their faces. They laughed, exhilarated as they finally made it to the gate. Harry grabbed her face and kissed her hard, the lovers locked in a heated embrace as they disappeared with an audible pop._

_Present-Harry didn't know what to make of it. Wasn't this exactly what Pandora had just said could never happen? Before he had time to ponder the thought any further he was whisked away to another place._

_They were in what appeared to be a small cottage by the sea, a clearly nude Pandora lying face down on a large white bed as her husband traced small patterns across her back with his fingertips._

“ _Stop it Harry. That's ticklish.”_

_He smiled widely, making the patterns smaller and smaller until she turned around and swiftly smacked him on his well-muscled chest. Present-Harry tried to avert his eyes away from her bared breasts. Well, mostly. It wasn't as though it were anything he'd never seen before._

“ _I said stop. Don't make me spank you.”_

“ _Perish the thought.” He smirked, a weird smile present-Harry was sure he had never worn. “After all, that's more your thing eh, love?”_

_He blanched. Oh God, were those his bedroom eyes? Was that smile supposed to be_ seductive _?!_

_She laughed heartily, making her breast jiggle ever so slightly. Apparently future-Harry noticed this too, pouncing on top of her and snogging her thoroughly. His hands slowly stroked her sides, making her shiver and moan, before sliding one hand up to cup her breast. He squeezed her nipple lightly, eliciting a loud yelp of pain from the blonde witch._

_The man jumped away instantly, wand drawn from under his pillow with wide eyes. Harry recognised that scared look instantly; they were at war once again. Finally deducing that there was no threat, he scanned his eyes over his wife for injuries. Finding none, he stared at her confused, waiting for an explanation._

_She didn't offer one. Instead she just glared resolutely at the blanket where it had fallen on the floor, refusing to talk. Eventually, Harry relented and asked the question.“Okay, what was that? Why did you scream?”_

“ _You squeezed too hard. It hurt,” She said moodily, still staring at the floor._

“ _Like hell. You don't usually mind.”_

“ _Not usually pregnant.” Her reply was muttered quietly, but she may well have shouted for all the impact it had. Harry was on his feet, face white as a sheet as he paced back and forth._

“ _Pregnant?”_

“ _Yes.” Her eyes filled with tears at her own whispered words. “Are you angry with me?”_

_He sighed, running his hands through his hair as he returned to his place on the bed beside her._

“ _Angry? Of course not. There's nothing I want more than to have a baby with you Pan, it's just...”_

“ _The war? Yeah.” She offered him a rueful smile as he nodded stiffly in reply._

“ _And now we'll have to get you to a different safe house. They need this one for the active fighters.”_

“ _I know. It's sad, I really love it here.”_

“ _Me too.”_

_They sat in silence a while, only broken when Harry started to smile. It was a wide, crazy, Hermione-like smile that caused Pandora to frown at him in concern._

“ _Are you alright Harry?”_

_All of a sudden, he whooped and jumped up on the bed, bringing his wife with him._

“ _A baby Pan, Our baby. I'm going to be a dad!”_

_She laughed until she cried as the couple jumped up and down on the bed, looking more than a little childish as they did so._

_They collapsed onto the bed with a sigh, breathless._

“ _Maybe it'll be okay you know, having a baby while all this is going on. Sirius manages it after all, it can't be that hard.”_

“ _A surprise to all of us, truly.” Pandora agreed, smiling properly now._

“ _So when is it due? The baby?”_

“ _The end of July.”_

_Pandora's brow wrinkled in confusion as both Harrys gasped in silent horror._

_They were in a different house now, and yet it seemed familiar to Harry somehow._

“ _Mummy, why is Pandora screaming like that?” a child's voice asked innocently, with more than a hint of fear colouring her tone._

“ _Because having a baby really, REALLY, hurts.” Andy replied, too busy to come up with a comforting lie as she bustled around the bedroom gathering supplies. “Ted, would you please come through here and fetch Dora?”_

“ _Sorry love, I had to deal with Sirius. He just came through the floo asking for help with Lily, who's apparently gone into labour too. I sent him over to Molly, don't you worry.”_

_She sighed in relief. “Thank you love. There must be something in the water, Alice had her little one only yesterday.”_

_present-Harry followed a harassed looking Andy as she walked along he hall to another smallish bedroom where a sweat-soaked Pandora lay crying out in agony._

“ _Make it stop Harry. It hurts.”_

_He held her left hand tightly in his as he reached his other hand round to stroke her hair soothingly._

“ _I know love, I'm sorry. You're doing so well, I'm so proud of you.”_

_She let out a sob. “That doesn't help at all. You're no good at this. I'm getting a new husband once this is all over.”_

_Andromeda was forced to cover her laugh with a cough as she took in Harry's affronted expression from her place at the foot of the bed._

“ _Fine. Whatever you want Star, let's just get through this first.”_

“ _Alright, looks like it's time to start pushing. Come on chickie, as hard as you can for me!”_

_What followed was by far the most horrifying, disgusting thing present-Harry had ever seen, and he had spent the better part of his youth fighting a war. After it all though, all that remained were two perfectly red wrinkled little human beings wrapped in blue blankets and their beaming parents._

“ _Oh Harry they're so perfect.”_

“ _They are. I can't believe we made them.” The awe in future-Harry's voice was captivating. Finally, he had a proper family, one that was completely his own. Finally he knew exactly where he belonged. It was overwhelming, and if present-Harry shed a few tears too, well, at least there was no-one else around to see it._

_There were lots of memories like that. Little moments as well as big. His oldest sons, Alphard and Arcturus, learning to smile. Learning to walk and to talk, becoming their own little people. They each had dirty blonde hair, courtesy of their mother, with the classically handsome Black features and piercing green eyes. Despite the similarities in appearance, the two boys had vastly different personalities. Where Alphard was sensitive and kind, Arcturus was just as sharp and cunning as his namesake. They were followed by a daughter not two yeas later, a girl named Selene after Pandora's now late mother. She was an angelic baby, all dark hair and bright blue eyes that sparkled with curiosity._

_While their lives grew ever fuller and more rich with each passing year, Harry and Pandora seemed to grow more and more haunted with every memory, looking over their children as though they could never take in enough of them. It looked painfully familiar._

_It was just like they were now. There it was, the undercurrent of desperation and panic, the need to grab on and never let go. Present-Harry felt a sense of dread start to pool at his stomach._ What was it they knew?

_They were in another cottage now, the family never seeming to stay long in any one place. The now three-year old twins didn't seemed to mind though; to them life was one big adventure._

“ _Alfie! Alfie look! I'm Horntail!” The toddler stomped his feet and let out his best roar as he bared his teeth._

“ _Oh cool, I want to be one too!” Soon the small living room was overrun by two overexcited children yelling and laughing at ear-splitting volumes. Inevitably, all the noise proved to be too much for little Selene who promptly began wailing at the top of her lungs._

“ _Okay my little monsters, time for baby dragons to go to bed.”_

“ _No mummy!”_

“ _Just a bit longer please!” Present-Harry smirked as he took in their twin pleading looks, so like his own. His amusement though was tinged with a hint of sympathy for his boys, they were about to learn what he had so long ago; that look_ never _worked on Pan. Grandmother maybe, but not her._

“ _I'm sorry boys, but it's getting late and you're upsetting your sister. Now go upstairs and get changed, and pick out a bedtime story for Dad and I to read after we get Selene settled.”_

_Thoroughly dejected, the twins shuffled out of the living room and up the stairs. Harry watched on as his future self took the fussing one-year old from her mothers arms. He held her close, rubbing small soothing circles on her back until her sobs subsided and her eyes started to droop with exhaustion. Pandora looked on with a small smile, her eyes soft as she took on the sight of her husband with their daughter._

“ _You're so good with her.”_

“ _Yes, it's almost as though she were mine” he teased lightly, earning him an exasperated eye-roll courtesy of his wife._

“ _You know what I mean. I know the world isn't all we want it to be, and that the future is uncertain, and that we don't have everything you want for us-”_

“ _I hope this is going somewhere.”_

“ _Hush up,I'm talking,” she admonished with a glare. “I know this isn't the life you wanted for us, but I just want you to know that I wouldn't change a moment of it. I love you, and I love our life, and there's not a day goes by that I'm not grateful that you stole me away.”_

_Both Harrys felt overcome with a rush of affection and love for the strong woman before them. How could they ever have gotten so bloody lucky?_

_Just as he reached out a hand to hold hers, they were interrupted by a loud popping sound from outside._

“ _What was that?”_

“ _Probably just some late trick-or-treaters I expect.” Pandora ventured, although her brow furrowed in concern._

“ _Trick-or-treaters don't apparate Star.” Wand in hand, he straightened his spine and relaxed his shoulders as he readied himself for a fight._

“ _Here. Take Selene to the boys' room and don't come out until I say it's safe. No matter what you hear don't come out.”_

“ _What? No! Harry I-”_

“ _Please don't argue, I need you and the kids to be safe. Please.” He silently begged her to heed his words as he placed a bruising kiss against her lips and a soft one on his daughter's head._

_Present-Harry felt a tightness in his chest as he watched a terrified Pandora steel herself as she flew up the stairs two at a time, forcing herself not to look back. Harry slowly crept towards the front door, wand pointed directly in front of him. His hand was surprisingly steady considering his audibly shaky breathing. After less than a minute, the door swung open to reveal-_

“ _Hermione? Oh my God, what happened?”_

_An extremely pregnant Hermione collapsed through the door, her face waxy and pale. She was covered in dirt and grime, the front of her dress stained with blood. There seemed to be blood everywhere, even her hands had turned a sticky orange-brown_

“ _Harry- I need to... Oh God. Remus.... I want Remus.” She was almost incoherent, coughing and sobbing in turns as she seized in pain._

“ _Remus? Is he at home? I can go-”_

“ _No! Gone! All gone...” Harry's face drained of al colour as he cradled her head in his lap, stroking her hair as he subtly tried to find the source of the ever-expanding pool of blood. His stomach sank as he came to the rapid realisation that it had be coming from between her legs. He had to call someone._

“ _It's- It'll be okay 'Mione I promise. Let me just go and call Andy. You need help, I can't-”_

“ _ALL GONE HARRY. Why are they always all gone? Don't leave me Harry.” She let out a loud keening sound unlike anything he'd ever heard._

_He had started to cry now too, “I-I won't. Just tell me what you want me to do. I'm here, I won't leave you.”_

_The clouds seemed to clear from her eyes slightly as a fresh wave of pain overtook her wrecked body. She met his eyes as her skin faded to a horribly familiar shade of grey. She was dying._

No! No, no no! Why the fuck was Pandora showing him this. He wanted to leave, to get out of this hellish place. He couldn't see this. Not Hermione.

“ _H-Harry. Voldemort knows. He's coming. Now. Be safe... I love you.”_

“ _What? How? Hermione?!”_

_It was no use, her eyes had become glassy and fixed even as the blood continued to pour from her body. Harry shook his head in silent denial. She just couldn't be dead. It was impossible. This wasn't what they had come back for. It wasn't supposed to be like this! He jumped up suddenly, a noise from the garden snapping him back to attention before the fresh tears had even finished falling from his eyes. Instincts honed by years of fighting made little allowance for grief._

_He made his way outside, determined not to let anything or anyone near his family. He pressed one finger to the small tattoo behind his left ear, hoping that someone on the other end would hear his cry for help, but knowing that it was probably already too late for him. No matter. He had walked to his death once before to save the people he loved, and he would do it again a million times over._

_A flash of green light missed him by inches as he threw himself to the ground. He recovered quickly, bringing himself to his feet as he shot off a chain of dark cutting curses mixed with a Blood-Curdling Hex. He wouldn't waste his time sending stunners at an enemy who was shooting to kill. The hooded figure laughed a high, cold laugh as he dodged the spells with surprising grace._

“ _Very good Heir Black. I see not all of your kin are as soft as your simpleton brother. Oh how he cried as I slaughtered his children right before his eyes.”_

_Harry felt his insides grow cold._ Sirius.

_He pushed on though, his mind fixed firmly on his wife and children who he was now sure would not be able to apparate away to safety if he didn't do something. He sent a slicing hex chased with an entrail-expeller. The first hit landed, opening up a small cut in his assailant's upper arm. He didn't seem to notice though as he continued his monologue undeterred._

“ _Of course, no-one can fault him on his bravery. He didn't give up your location even as his wife cried and begged on the floor while I tortured her. Pity. I could have gifted her with a good clean death. Not like your youngest brother. I don't take kindly to traitors.”_

Reg. _Finally losing his concentration, Harry let out a roar of grief and pain as he sent a bright red jet of light towards Voldemort. It was a spell borne from years of suffering and toil, it sapped all his strength and brought him to his knees, and yet it still wasn't enough._

_Stepping just out of the spell's range, Voldemort tutted in mock-disappointment._

“ _I must admit, I'd thought this would be more difficult._ This _is the one who protects the all-powerful child of the prophecy? How... inadequate._ Avada Kedavra.”

_Green light filled his vision, and Harry knew no more._

_Another flash of memory assaulted present-harry, who was still too shocked to fully comprehend what had just transpired._

“ _Not Alfie, not Alfie, please not Alfie!” Pandora clutched her son tightly to her chest, begging. Her other two children lay dead on the bed as she sobbed._

“ _Stand aside, you silly girl . . . stand aside now.”_

“ _Not Alfie, please no, take me, kill me instead—”_

“ _This is my last warning—”_

“ _Not Alfie! Please . . . have mercy . . . have mercy. . . . Not Alfie! Not Alfie! Please— I’ll do anything— ”_

“ _Stand aside. Stand aside, girl!” She turned her back on him then, whispering soft words of love and farewell as the toddler stared at her with wide, terrified eyes._

“ _Mummy, I'm scared.”_

_She tried to smile as she kissed his forehead. “I know baby, but it's all going to be okay, I won't let anyone hurt you.”_

_She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She placed her son down on his feet, smoothing down his hair and drinking in the sight of him one last time as she stood tall, turning to face her attacker._

“ _No. Please. You can take me instead, just leave my son be.”_

_The man regarded her with something akin to disgust before he spoke._

“ _So be it.”_

_Harry closed his eyes, sure that if he were forced to witness the death of one more person he loved today, he would crack. Was_ this _to be his future then? Was it his fate to love, and love again, only to have it all cruelly ripped away from him every time? He felt a deep sadness sink into his bones at the notion. Why bother with love at all then? Maybe Dumbledore had it all wrong before._

_He shook his head in protest. No. Even if this was to be his fate, a short life lived with love was worth a thousand lifetimes without it. He had believed that the day he walked to his death in the Forbidden Forest, and he believed it now._

_Finally, he opened his eyes only to find himself in yet another unfamiliar setting._

“ _You must take him in, Narcissa. There is no-one else.” Dumbledore's tone was grave and sombre as he appealed to the young woman before him. She was as beautiful as she always was, her appearance softened somewhat by the infant she rocked in her arms. She looked exhausted, the bags under her eyes deep and dark, the rims red from crying._

“ _But Grandfather-”_

_._

“ _Is too old and embittered by grief. He's become obsessed with revenge. That's no environment for a child to grow up in.”_

“ _And am I not burdened with grief of my own?” she asked sharply. “In the space of less than a week I have lost two sisters, three cousins and a husband. I have three young children of my own to care for and little means of feeding them without my grandfather's assistance.”_

_Blue eyes twinkled behind gold half-moon spectacles as he replied. “Do not think I misunderstand the weight of the task I have set upon you my dear. It is vital though, that the boy should be hidden away. I shall help you in whatever small way I can, but you must take your family and hide away in the muggle world.”_

_Narcissa's eyes went hard as she considered his words. “Why? Why would you have me do this? It can't simply be to protect the boy from his fame. My family have plenty of resources to do that themselves, as I'm sure you're aware.”_

_The man sighed, looking every inch his not-inconsiderable age. “You always were a sharp girl. There is another reason.”_

_He paused, looking unsure how much he should give away. The young woman before him offered nothing more than an expectant look, waiting for him to continue._

“ _The Dark Lord is not dead.”_

_She gasped, drawing her daughter a little more tightly to her breast. “How is that possible? Everyone is saying he was destroyed.”_

“ _And so he was” Dumbledore agreed, “Destroyed, but not quite dead. It is my most fervent belief that he will rise again, and when he does he will most certainly come after young Alphard.”_

_Narcissa drew one hand to her mouth as her eyes filled with tears._

“ _Alright” she whispered. “I'll take him. Bring him to me.”_

“ _I will have Hagrid drop him off first thing in the morning. Take the night to rest and get your affairs in order. You do the wizarding world a great service Narcissa Shacklebolt.”_

“ _Fuck the wizarding world.” Harry gaped. Narcissa didn't_ swear. _“All I care about is protecting my young cousin from that beast.”_

_Smiling slightly, Dumbledore conjured a stunning crystal decanter and two matching glasses before pouring a generous measure of mead into each._

“ _To Alphard then.” Narcissa accepted the drink gratefully, tilting it in the direction of her old headmaster._

“ _To Alphard Black.” she agreed, her tone slightly sarcastic. “The Boy Who Lived.”_

**Room of Requirement, Hogwarts, Scotland, March 16** **th** **1975**

Harry yanked his hand from Pandora's as though he had been burned by it. He could barely see through the storm of anguish and revulsion that had taken root inside him. He had condemned his son to his own miserable fate. Was this the universe's cruel way of proving a point? That there truly was nothing he could do to change the future? That destiny would have it's due no matter what he did? He was unravelling, mentally coming apart at the seams when he was stopped dead in his tracks by Pandora's quiet declaration.

“We can stop it.”

He froze. What was it she had said earlier? _“It's visions, and visions of visions. It's definite points, surrounded by vague possibility,”_ Was this only one of those possibilities?

“Do you see now?” Her voice sounded thick and heavy with tears as she spoke. “Do you see what will happen if I don't marry Lucius?”

He was floored. All of that pain and misery, caused by one decision. Is this the weighty responsibility Pandora lived with every day? He didn't know how she could stand it.

“Yeah. Yeah I get it now. I'm sorry...I'll leave it alone.” His lower lip wobbled as he drew her close to him in a hopeless embrace.

“Then promise me you won't ask.”

“What?”

“Promise me you won't ask me to come away with you ever again. Because I don't think I'll have the strength to say no again.”

He stared straight into her pleading eyes and crumbled. These were the eyes he'd seen crinkle with laughter as they made their escape from Malfoy Manor, and screw up with pain as she delivered their children. He'd seen them roll back in pleasure as he made love to her, and narrow in anger when he stayed out too late with Sirius. He'd seen those eyes soften and glow as she cared for their children and defiantly stare down Voldemort as she refused to let him take away any more of her babies. She was the love of his life, and now he had to let her go.

“I promise.” He could've sworn he saw his own devastation reflected in those eyes as he lowered his head to offer her a sweet kiss.

“It was a beautiful life for a minute there though, wasn't it?” He said gently.

“It was.” she agreed, before finally allowing herself to fall apart.

**A/N: Wow, longest chapter to date. I really needed to break out the tissues writing this one! Hopefully you all enjoyed it and don't hate me too much. Let me know!**

**Til next time,**

**SJ**


	20. Sit Still, Look Pretty

Chapter 20: Sit Still, Look Pretty

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment ***

**A/N: Yeesh guys, the world has changed a lot since I last posted. I'm not gonna lie, finding the motivation to write has been difficult. Thanks for sticking with me, and sticking with the story even though I made so many of you cry with that last chapter! Hopefully this slightly lighter offering makes up for it.**

_Could dress up  
To get love  
But guess what?  
I'm never gonna be that girl _

_-Daya_

**Library, Hogwarts, Scotland, March 26 th 1975**

It wasn't her business. Really, it wasn't. She should just focus on her essay.

But then again, she couldn't do her essay without _Transmogrification and its Ramifications: An Historical Guide_ by Barnabus Grimlad. The book he was currently holding but was _still not reading._ She clenched her teeth, fuming. She had been waiting patiently for forty-five minutes and the boy had yet to even crack open the spine. And as if that weren't infuriating enough, she had spent that entire three-quarters of an hour listening to him whinge and moan about his tragic love life. Amongst some other very strange things she was one-hundred percent sure she wasn't supposed to be hearing.

“I'm telling you Hermione, it's awful. We can barely look at each other now without bursting into-”

No. Absolutely not. She knew she had heard that particular track over twenty minutes ago. She stood up suddenly, determined look upon her face. She marched over to the pair with purpose, refusing to be subjected to one more round of woeful lamenting without the comfort of her book.

“-And now I'm just not sure what to say to … Oh , er hello?”

“Are you finished with that book?”

He looked thoroughly perplexed, running a hand through his already messy hair as he found himself faced with a rather peeved looking red-headed Ravenclaw.

“Sorry, who are you?”

She sighed in irritation, clearly he was determined to make her life as difficult as possible.

“Amelia Bones. Now, the book?”

He stared back at her in a manner that suggested she had phrased the question in high-elvish, even though she was _quite_ sure she had spoken plain English. Mainly because she didn't speak high-elvish to begin with.

“The book. I assume the concept is not new to you? You have the Grimlad I need sitting right there by your left elbow.”

The girl, the one she thought might be Hermione Snape from her Ancient Runes class, regarded the scene with an air of polite amusement. Clearly she was unphased by either her friend's stupidity or the apparent rudeness of the five-foot nothing stranger stood before her.

“Right. Sorry, I need it for my Transfiguration homework. I'll make sure to get it to you as soon as I'm finished though.” He flashed her what she was sure was supposed to be a charming grin as he pulled the heavy tome to the centre of his desk and flipped it open.

She scoffed angrily, her patience quickly wearing thin. “Oh? And when do you suppose that will be? Sometime this term? Given that it took you _forty-five_ minutes to open the damned thing, I'd like to set some realistic expectations.”

The grin dropped quickly from his face, replaced instead with a look of sheer affront. “Listen, I don't know what your problem is, but I got here first and I need this book. You'll just have to wait.”

She could've screamed as he smoothed out a piece of parchment and quill, seemingly ready at last to start taking notes. It was as clear a brush off as she'd ever seen, and Amelia Bones was not a girl to be ignored.

“Fine, I'll leave to you to your _homework_ ” she spat icily, “but in future, when you decide to start talking about time-travel, prophecies or anything else surrounding your truly bizarre love life, maybe try a silencing charm.”

She smirked as his jaw dropped comically. Putting on her best haughty pureblood act, she tossed one braid over her shoulder and sashayed casually back towards her own table with one final parting shot.

“And just a small piece of advice. No girl wants to be with someone who whines as much as you do. So instead of worrying about losing your girl to an arranged marriage, I'd worry about losing her to sheer lack of sexual attraction.”

Yes, it was petty, but she felt so much better as she gathered up her things and made her way out of the library. Especially when she heard the quiet exchange between the pair as she passed.

“No!... Well, maybe a bit. You have been talking about it an awful lot.”

“Oh Merlin!” Harry buried his head in his hands, mortified.

“But it's perfectly understandable! You're going through something very difficult right now and she shouldn't have-”

“She was right. I've been wallowing. It's about time I pull myself together and start living. If I only have a short time left with Star, I'm going to make every second count.”

Amelia smiled as her heels clicked against the stone floors of the hallway. She might still think that Black was a wanker, but that didn't stop her from enjoying the warm, fuzzy sense of satisfaction she always got from being proven right. She hummed a jaunty tune as she continued on her way up towards Ravenclaw tower.

Moments later, her peace was interrupted by the clattering of loud feet as they rushed to catch up with her.

“Amelia! Amelia, wait!” Instantly her good mood evaporated into thin air, as though it had never been there to begin with.

“Yes, Black? What do you want?” Her tone was abrupt and impatient, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She was exhausted and just wanted to get back to the common room so she could sit in her comfy chair by the window. Preferably before that absolute horror Bernard Edgecombe stole it. Bloody prat thought the entire tower belonged to him just because he was a seventh year.

“Erm, I just wanted to make sure the book got to you. I'm just going to use the Hollinsby instead.” He looked slightly uncomfortable as he held out the aforementioned text for her to take.

She stared at him blankly. What was his game?

“Why?”

He rose his eyebrows in surprise. “Didn't you say you needed it?”

She eyed him up and down, still unsure of his intentions. “Yes, I do.”

“Well, here you go then. Take it.” She continued to stare at him disbelievingly. “Come on, Bones. This is not light, my arm is killing me.”

Finally deciding that this was not some kind of elaborate trick (or that the risk of it being one was so small as to be negligible), she took the book from his hands and placed it neatly into her book-bag. He looked furious as she charmed the entire thing feather-light.

“Dammit, why do I always forget to do that?” She almost laughed at his indignant tone, but felt it would be unkind in the face of his own gesture of reconciliation.

“Perhaps you could have the incantation tattooed on your forehead so that you always remember” she suggested wryly, earning a small chuckle from the older boy.

“That would hardly be helpful now, would it? I don't exactly go around staring at my own face in the mirror all day.”

“Really? That's not what I heard.”

“Oi! Rude. It's not too late for me to take that book back, you know” he warned, although his eyes sparkled with mirth.

“You can pry it from my cold, dead hands.” she deadpanned, only half joking.

“Hmm,” he appeared to contemplate her words as though she were actually issuing a challenge. “Nah, too much effort. How about I just invite you to a party instead?”

“A party?” she wrinkled her nose in disgust. She wasn't exactly a party girl. Not that she didn't enjoy socialising, she just really did _not_ enjoy drunken idiots.

He laughed at her less than enthusiastic response, not seeming offended in the least. “Well it's not really a party. More of a gathering of people really.”

“Sounds like a party to me” she muttered suspiciously.

“Well it is like a party. Except there won't be any booze. Or any food or music. Unless Sirius decides to sing again.”

“Sirius? Wait, this isn't one of your little meanderer's club meetings is it?”

“Marauders” he corrected, nodding.

Without more than a moments consideration, she declined. She had seen the way Potter and Black and their lot were always getting themselves into some kind of trouble, and Amelia could not afford trouble at any cost. Not if she wanted to make Minister for Magic by the time she was forty.

“No, it's okay. Thank you for the offer, but I honestly can't think of anything I would enjoy less.” Mind made up, she gave a courteous nod and went to continue on her way only to find her path blocked by Black, who had stepped in front of her.

“Please? I feel like I need to clear up some of the stuff you heard back there in the library.”

She was incredulous. Surely they didn't have entire _meetings_ dedicated to the dissection of his love life? Now she wanted to go even less than she had before, if that were possible.

“Honestly Black, I have no interest in hearing any more about your love life.”

“My love life? What? No! I meant the, er- the other stuff.”

Oh. Of course. She was an idiot. Ignoring the blush slowly creeping up from her chest, she reconsidered the invitation. She couldn't deny, morose teenage drama inside, certain parts of the conversation she'd heard were very intriguing. Time travel for example.

“Alright then Black. I accept. Send me an owl with the time and place and I'll make sure to be there.”

He graced her with a sunny smile, making his face slightly more tolerable to look at. “Excellent. And by the way, you don't have to keep calling me Black.”

Embarrassed, she admitted, “I don't actually know your first name.”

“Oh?” he raised one eyebrow, clearly entertained by her discomfort.

“Well, how would I? You haven't given it to me yet!”

He smirked at her infuriatingly as he held out a hand for her to shake. “Alright then, let me introduce myself. The names Cepheus, but my friends call me Harry.”

“How nonsensical.” she noted, taking the proferred hand. “Nice to meet you Harry.”

They had just stepped away from each other when they heard a high pitched screech coming from somewhere around the corner.

“What the fuck did you just say to me? Where did you hear that? Answer me right now!”

Harry's face grew pale. He knew that tone well. It meant that someone was about to die. Or at the very least, be maimed for life.

“Sorry, got to go.” he shot his new friend an apologetic smile and took off at a run. “Hermione? Hermione what's-”

Amelia watched him until he disappeared round the corner, digesting the events of the last hour. It had been a strange day, she mused, but promising all the same.

Now, if she hurried she could still beat Edgecombe to her chair.

**Great Hall, Hogwarts, Scotland, March 28 th 1975**

Hermione rolled her sore shoulders slowly as she tried to work out the tension of the past few days. Between the ridiculous rumours floating around about her, and the full moon the night before she was exhausted. Remus had been agitated by all the gossip and as a result Moony had been far more excitable than usual. The whole gang were covered in scrapes and bruises, ones they promptly glamoured as to not upset Remus. This was a habit they'd developed a year earlier when he'd tried to write his parents to bring him home after seeing a nasty cut on Lily's forearm.

It had been cleaned and healed easily enough by Hermione, but Remus had felt so terrible that he'd wanted to leave school. If he knew that they all sported such injuries almost every full moon , well, she didn't think she wanted to know how he'd react.

“Alright Hermione?” She paused in her stretching to look up at the boy who had spoken. He looked vaguely familiar, but she couldn't quite remember his name. He was a Ravenclaw certainly, judging by his tie. A seventh year maybe? What was his name? Billy? Bertrand-

“Bernard. Bernard Edgecombe. Pleased to meet you.” Suddenly Hermione was less enthused to greet the newcomer. If he was anything like his hateful future daughter, she was sure she didn't want anything to do with him. Although, maybe she should make _some_ effort. He did seem a friendly enough sort, after all.

“Nice to meet you Bernard, What can I do for you?”

He ran his eyes up and down her her figure with a greedy look in his eyes, making her feel instantly uncomfortable. When Remus looked at her like that she felt beautiful and strong, but this seemed different somehow. It mad her feel slimy, as though his gaze alone made her filthy by association.

“I'll take a 'date' if you're giving them out.” Her eyes narrowed as she felt the first stirrings of anger bloom to life in her chest. These bloody rumours again. She couldn't believe the gall of some people! Remus was sitting right beside her, eyeing the newcomer with obvious displeasure.

“No, sorry. As you can see, I have a boyfriend, so I won't be giving away any dates.” She kept her tone flat and even as she gestured to the boy beside her, hoping to convey nothing but complete and utter disinterest.

“C'mon Snape, that never stopped you before,” he cajoled, leering at her.

“I have no idea what you're talking about,” she snapped, glaring daggers at the greasy older boy.

“Don't give me that,” he scoffed, “Everyone knows you're giving it to Lupin, Black _and_ Potter on a regular basis.”

“Piss off Barnaby, or whatever the fuck your name is. I am not _giving it_ to anyone, and even if I was, it sure as shit wouldn't be you.” Appetite well and truly gone now, she gathered up her things and made her way towards the doors, ignoring both Remus' low growling and the concerned looks of her friends.

In her anger, she failed to notice the way Edgecombe's face grew stormy, or how quickly he reached for his wand. All she noticed was a jet of blue light over her shoulder. Immediately, battle scenes and screams of pain flashed through her head as she froze, eyes closed, bracing for impact. After a few seconds of nothingness, she sighed in relief, assuming he had missed his target.

It wasn't until she opened her eyes that she noticed the dead silence. She looked around the room, her eyes searching, confused. She looked over to Lily for clarity, who quickly motioned for her to pull out her pocket mirror. To her horror, she found her previously glamoured love bites visible for all to see. Worse than that, her injuries from the previous night's activities were also showing. Dark bruises and bite-shaped marks covered her legs, her arms scratched and red.

She gasped as her eyes immediately swivelled to meet Remus'. His grip on his butter knife turned his shaking knuckles white, the shade an almost perfect match to his pale face. Her heart tugged painfully as she ached to reach out to him, to offer some kind of comfort, all the while not daring to do anything that might provoke further questions. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, the low-pitched muttering that had been slowly building exploded into a frenzied cacophony of gleeful speculation.

For the second time that morning, Hermione found herself scrambling to catch up. It wasn't a feeling she was accustomed to, nor one that she particularly enjoyed. Thankfully it only took her a few seconds to locate the source of this latest round of hysteria. Once she did though, she wished that she hadn't. Some enterprising person had taken it upon themselves to cast the same spell she'd been hit with at James and Sirius. Of course, their bruising matched hers almost perfectly. She thanked the heavens that no-one had yet thought to check Lily. Or, Merlin forbid, Sev. She could only imagine the rumours that would fly then. Even more damning than the bruises though, was the fact that Sirius seemed to be sporting a hickey of his own, right at the centre of his throat. Hermione briefly wondered at the the source before she was distracted by other, more urgent matters.

“Wow, kinky. Seems to me like you're giving it to _everyone_ , Snape.” She barely had a second to contemplate Edgecombe's less-than-gentlemanly assessment before Remus was on him. He knocked the older boy to the ground, punching every square inch of him he could reach. All injuries from the night before forgotten, she flew at the pair of fighting boys. She jumped on Edgecombe's back just as he'd managed to flip over, giving him the upper hand. She pulled at his hair, scratching his face as he blindly punched at the ground, narrowly missing Remus. Never ones to be left out, Sirius and James waded in, trying to pull their friend up from the ground while aiming a few well-placed blows of their own.

“ENOUGH!”

Hermione stopped in her tracks. She was thoroughly taken aback by the volume and authority conveyed in just a single word. She was even more surprised when she realised it had come from the usually laid back Lily. This was Lily as Hermione had never seen her before. Her face was calm and hard, fury glittering behind piercing eyes as she glared down at the sweaty pile of chastised teens.

Having got to know both of his parents so well, she had always assumed that Harry had gotten his natural authority and talent for leadership from his father. Now though, as she observed the guilty expressions worn by each and every boy involved, she _knew_ that he got it from his mother.

“This is ridiculous. All of you, at least pretend to be civilized people and get up off the floor. Go back to your dormitories right now and cool off before I _make_ you.”

Hermione couldn't help but smirk as the boys scrambled quickly to their feet and hastily stumbled towards the door as instructed.

“Hermione, that means you as well.” She opened her mouth to protest, outraged, but promptly closed it at the fierce expression shot her way by the diminutive redhead.

Irritated, but deciding that she'd made enough of a spectacle of herself for one day, she complied. With every last ounce of grace she could muster up, she turned on her heel and flounced out of the great hall.

“Nicely done, Miss Evans. However, in future I do request that you leave your chastisements until _after_ I've had the opportunity to speak with the students in question”

“Sorry Professor McGonagall.” She fought back a grin as she felt the heat rising to her cheeks.

.

“Never mind. Kindly tell your wayward classmates from me that they now owe a week's worth of detention each.”

She nodded in understanding before making her own exit to pass along the message.

Throughout the entire scene, Severus had been sitting stock still at the Ravenclaw table, seething. Unlike the rest of the school though, his eyes hadn't been focused on the fight. Instead, he was fixated on the unnaturally smug face of one Peter Pettigrew.

Unlike the rest of the school, he had seen the gleeful expression of the beady-eyed boy as he shot the blue spell at Black and Potter. He'd seen the malevolent pleasure twist his features as Remus had shook, and Hermione had gone pale.

He had done this. Severus didn't know how or why, or how much the boy truly knew of their monthly adventures, but he was going to find out.

**A/N: So there it is. I know its not one of my longer chapters, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Thanks again for sticking with the story, you guys rock! As always, let me know what you thought.**

**Thanks so much for reading** ,

**Til next time,**

**SJ**


	21. Aftermath

Chapter 21: Aftermath

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment ***

**A/N: Hey again! Thanks for sticking with me. I'm glad so many of you liked the last chapter. I hope you'll find this one just as enjoyable.**

_Did you break but never mend?  
Did it hurt so much you thought it was the end?  
Lose your heart but don't know when  
And no one cares, there's no one there_

_But did you see the flares in the sky?_

_Were you blinded by the light?  
Did you feel the smoke in your eyes?  
Did you see the sparks filled with hope?  
You are not alone  
'Cause someone's out there, sending out flares_

_-The Script_

**Fourth Year Boys' Dormitory, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, March 26 th 1975**

“Remus, please!” her voice came out in a desperate sob as she pulled the soft red jumper from his hands.

“Let go Hermione. I'm leaving, and that's that.” His tone was firm, cold, as though he were someone else entirely. He prised the garment from between her fingers before folding it neatly and placing it in his trunk.

“You can't! We need you here. _I_ need you.”

“What you need is for me to get as far away from you as possible. Before I hurt you anymore than I already have.” For the first time since leaving the Great Hall, she saw the emotion behind his eyes. It was the same expression she'd seen in his eyes that day in the park when he was a child. It was a sad, desperate ache, a lonely wistful longing for a happiness he thought he could never have for himself. It almost broke Hermione right there where she stood.

“It's a scratch. They're only bruises,” she insisted, her voice growing high and panicked. “I can take it. They don't even hurt!”

Remus smiled slightly at that. He reached out his hand to tug on one of her wild curls, looking amused as he watched it spring back into place. “You're a terrible liar Hermione.”

She smiled back through tears, not quite managing to stop one from spilling over onto her cheek.

“Okay, maybe it hurts a little bit. But it's nothing I can't handle. I'm stronger than you think you know.”

He smoothed his thumb over her cheek, wiping away the tear. “Not possible. You're the strongest person I know.”

She felt a spark of hope ignite in her chest at that. “So you'll stay?”

The smile dropped from his face immediately, quickly followed by his hand which snapped back to his side.

“No.” The spark was extinguished in an instant, and Hermione's strength along with it. She dropped down onto the bed behind her, letting her head fall into her hands. She couldn't believe that Remus was leaving. It wasn't supposed to be like this! She had come back to fix things and yet somehow every choice she made only seemed to make things worse. Suddenly, she found herself feeling slightly more sympathetic towards Dumbledore. _Slightly._

Remus crouched down beside her, grabbing her two hands in his. “You might be alright with being hurt. You might be strong enough to take it. The thing is, I'm _not._ ”

She opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off. “No. I never should have come here in the first place. I love you, and I'm sorry that I ever put you in any kind of danger.” She wasn't sure which of them had started crying first, all she knew was that when his lips met hers, all she could taste was salt. Their kissing was frantic, messy and rough. She clung to his shirt desperately, begging him not to go. He buried his hands in her hair, trying to get lost in her one final time.

Neither were sure how long had passed by the time they found themselves a tangle of limbs on James' bed, Remus' tie askew and her hair thoroughly mussed. It must have been a while, Hermione deduced as she noticed the darkening sky outside the dormitory window.

She buried her head in his chest, taking in the scent of him.

“Please don't go.” Her voice was quiet, barely louder than a whisper as it rang out through the dormitory.

He tightened his hold on her slightly, eyes fluttering closed as though the words were physically painful. “I don't want to.”

“Then don't.” she sat up suddenly, her voice louder now. “Honestly Remus, this is ridiculous. You don't want to go. I don't want you to go. So just fucking _stay._ ”

He pulled himself up to perch on the edge of the bed, his expression conflicted. “Staying would be selfish.”

“No.” she snapped, angry now. “Leaving would be selfish. Yes we got hurt. So fucking what? We've all been hurt before and we'll get hurt again. And you know why? Because we _love you_ Remus John Lupin.” She stood up, impassioned.

“Love hurts sometimes. Do you know how many times James has broken his arm playing Quidditch?”

Remus frowned. “That's complete-”

“Five!”

“Five?” his expression seemed to fall somewhere between horrified and impressed.

“Five.” Hermione nodded. “And that's just his arm. And look at Sev. Do you know how many chemical burns he's had from mucking about with his potions? Too many to count. And yet, James still plays Quidditch, and Sev is still working on ways to improve his Draught of the Living Death. And you know why? Because they love it. Every painful moment of it is worth it to them. Just like we love you. Just like you're worth it to us.”

Wordlessly, Remus crossed the room and headed towards his trunk. Hermione's heart sank. It hadn't worked. He still wanted to leave. She bowed her head, defeated.

“Hermione?”

She raised her head to find a beaming Remus starting straight at her, trunk cradled in both hands.

“You're worth it to me too.” She laughed as he tipped the trunk on its side, emptying its contents all over the dormitory floor. Elated, she ran across the room at full speed into his arm, kissing every part of his face she could reach as he spun her around in a circle.

Right then and there, Hermione decided that she didn't care if people thought she'd been with the entire Hogwarts population. As long as she had Remus, she knew she'd be alright.

**Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, March 26 th 1975**

Peter squirmed excitedly at the sound of Snape's anguished pleas. This entire affair had worked out far better than he ever could have hoped. Although he was still fuzzy on the details, his cleverly planted rumours had somehow resulted in Lupin's withdrawal from the school. He couldn't believe his luck!

He was almost vibrating with malicious glee as he heard the telltale sounds of sniffling from his place at the door. She was _crying._ Who was the pathetic one now? He congratulated himself on a plan well executed as the room fell silent. _Was this what power felt like?_ He wondered. To take a few words, whispered into the ears of the right people, and turn them into devastation for the ones who'd wronged him. He thought it must be. It was a new sensation for Peter, a boy who'd felt weak for his entire life, and he found that it suited him.

He knew that he would never be the most handsome, the most popular, not like Black or Potter, but maybe he _could_ be the most powerful. Something stirred deep within him at the thought. It was a hunger, an absolute need unlike anything he'd ever felt before. For the first time, perhaps ever, Peter felt strong. He had a purpose. He wanted to be a major player, a king maker, the one behind the scenes pulling all the strings.

He'd been so lost in thought that he hadn't noticed the pair on the other side of the door start talking. Not until he heard something unexpected. Was she... laughing?

She was. And now Lupin was too. He reeled back in shock. How could they be laughing? How could they be happy? He pressed his ear firmly against the door, scowling as he heard Lupin's earnest promise not to leave the school.

No! Peter was enraged. All his previous joy vanished in an instant. What was it with these people? Why would they never _just stay down?_

He stormed away angrily, so caught up in his ire that he failed to notice as he brushed past an extremely peeved, very disillusioned Severus Snape.

**Hogwarts Express, Scotland, June 20 th 1975**

Amelia heaved a sigh as she sank down into her chair in the very full compartment. For the first time, she felt sad to be heading home for the holidays. Not that she wasn't excited to see her parents of course, and she was excited to attend her big brother Edgar's wedding later that summer. No, Amelia was mostly just sad to be leaving her friends behind, She'd never had any friends to miss before, nor had she wanted them. She'd spent the better part of her time at Hogwarts fully immersed in her studies, and she'd liked it that way. She hadn't known how wonderful it would be to actually have friends. Especially friends like the Marauders. Although she supposed that she was a marauder now too. Hermione had even started helping her find her Animagus form. Privately, she was hoping for some sort of winged form. She imagined how useful it would be for getting out of tight spots. She was sure that she would find herself in lots of them once she became an Auror.

Despite her earlier apprehension, the marauders had turned out to be a rather brilliant group of young people. Of course, they were every bit as boisterous as she'd feared, but what they lacked in restraint they more than made up for in fierce friendship.

Once she'd been accepted into the fold, it was like becoming part of a family. Hermione fussed over her, chastising her and bringing her snacks in the library when she'd been so lost in homework she'd forgotten to eat. Remus and Lily made wonderful study partners, always having some obscure reference to hand. Sirius and James made her laugh, and James had even punched Kyle Henley in the face for calling her a bitch once. Severus and Regulus were all snark and wit, but she could see how sweet they each were in their own way. Cepheus and Pandora were always kind to her, the former being the one to come and find her when she'd found out that Grandma Bones had passed away in May. He had put an arm around her shoulder and held her while she cried. He whispered words of comfort in her ear an she just knew that he understood.

She was distracted by a giant ball of fur as it landed on her lap. “Hello, Aslan. How are you today?” The cat purred contentedly as she scratched him behind the ears, as if to tell her that he was very well, thank you.

“So, it's just me the little demon has a problem with then?” Severus drawled, scowling at the offending animal.

“Perhaps it's the fond nicknames?” Amelia quipped, highly amused by the pair's long-time rivalry.

He snorted, “Please. That thing has had it out for me since the day we brought it home.”

“He, not _it_ Severus.” Hermione snapped. “And don't change the subject.”

Clearly, Amelia had missed something.

“I'm doing no such thing. I've already told you that I have no idea how Pettigrew ended up on that Quidditch hoop. I was studying in the library with Reg.”

“Bollocks!” Hermione exclaimed, startling a previously snoring James from his sleep.

“Whose bollocks?” he asked sleepily.

“No-one, sorry James, go back to sleep” she said gently. The other boy nodded, letting his eyes drift shut once more.

Much more softly this time, she continued. “I don't believe you. We both know that Reggie would lie if you asked him to.”

Sev shrugged, unconcerned. “True. But what possible reason could I have to bother with a little weasel like him?”

Hermione paused, brow furrowed in thought as Remus looked on, observing the scene with amusement.

“I don't know,” she conceded, “but you've had it out for him for months. First there was the thing with the itching powder-”

Amelia stifled a grin at the memory. Somehow, all of Peter's clothes had been infused with some sort of concentrated itching solution. Nothing the teachers had tried had managed to neutralise it, and he'd sported an unsightly red rash for over a week.

“I was cleared of any involvement in that” Severus protested.

Hermione continued as though he'd never spoken.

“- and then there was the week were he tripped down the stairs _four times._ ”

“He's not exactly graceful is he?” Sev asked, raising one eyebrow sceptically.

“And the singing?”

“I was helping Slughorn in the dungeons”

“The hair?”

“I was with you in Hogsmeade!” he scoffed. “Honestly, Hermione.”

He rolled his eyes in exasperation, but Amelia could see the victorious glint in his eyes.

Hermione slumped, defeated. “Look, Sev, I have no love lost for Pettigrew. You know that.”

Severus nodded his head in acknowledge as she continued. “It's just that these things can escalate. There's always some sort of unforeseen consequence, and I don't want you getting into any trouble.”

His face softened slightly at this. “If I _were_ to have done anything, know that it was well deserved.”

Remus flashed him a grin of approval at this. He didn't much care for Peter himself.

“And I suppose, if I were responsible, I could be convinced to tone down my efforts slightly.”

Hermione laughed airily. “Thanks, Sev.”

He nodded again before grabbing his notebook from the bag at his feet.

“Although, that's just me. I can't speak to whoever the person is who has it out for poor Peter.”

Amelia joined in on the laughter, unable to hold it in any longer. Yes, it was definitely good to have friends.

**A/N: And so concludes year 4! Please let me know what you all thought. There may be a nit of a time jump in the next chapter, just to get things moving along.**

**Thanks so much for reading** ,

**Til next time,**

**SJ**


	22. Birth, Life, Death

Chapter 22: Birth, Life, Death.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment ***

**A/N: Hey all, just a quick reminder that there has been a time jump this chapter. I'll be giving you a quick round-up of fifth year throughout, but this chapter primarily takes place in the summer before sixth year. Also check out my Pinterest, NifflerNogtailsNargles, to see pictures of what I imagine the tattoos to look like.**

_Life is not a love song that we like  
We're all broken pieces floating by  
Life is not a love song, we can try  
To fix our broken pieces one at a time_

_I like that you're broken_

_Broken like me  
Maybe that makes me a fool  
I like that you're lonely  
Lonely like me_

_I could be lonely with you_

_-lovelytheband_

**_Spinner's End, Cokeworth, England, August 18_ _th_ _1976_ **

Silence. Hermione sighed. There had been too much silence this summer. She had known that her mother wouldn't take it _well_ , but she hadn't expected her to stay angry for quite so long. Maybe Severus' ability to hold a grudge hadn't come entirely from their father. It was only a tattoo, after all.

Granted, she mused, it wasn't every day one's sixteen year old twins came home with matching tattoos, but this relentless cold-shoulder seemed like a bit of an overreaction to her. And it wasn't as though they had been a purely aesthetic choice. Although she _was_ rather fond of the thunderbird that currently decorated the skin of her right forearm. To her frustration though, she had been unable to tell her mother the true nature of the ink.

“ _What in the name of Merlin's baggy left ball-sack is a kinship mark?” Harry snorted at Sirius' crude phrasing, earning him a sharp glare from Hermione._

“ _I found out about them while I was researching the Dark Mark.” She watched Regulus stiffen slightly at her words, clearly he was familiar with the term._

“ _Those ugly snake tattoos Voldemort marks his followers with?” Lily asked cautiously._

_Hermione nodded. “Yes. From what I've managed to work out, the Dark Mark is a bastardized version of a kinship mark.”_

“ _Which brings me back to; what the fuck is a kinship mark?”_

“ _For Christ sake Padfoot, give her a minute!” Remus barked. It was two days until the full moon, leaving him tense and ready to snap at the slightest provocation._

_Hermione smiled, grabbing his hand in her own, patting it gratefully. He immediately responded by wrapping his free arm around her waist, nuzzling his face into her hair. She fought the urge to giggle, secretly pleased by this uncommonly public display of affection._

“ _Yes, thank you Remus.” she beamed. “Kinship marks were commonly used in the times of Avalon. Small groups of witches or wizards would form alliances based on friendship and shared goals. They would make vows to each other, promising loyalty, and aid in times of strife. The bonds would be made in blood and sealed by a shared mark.”_

“ _Like the Dark Mark?” Regulus asked, not quite able to keep the distaste out of his voice._

“ _Not originally” Hermione argued, “I believe that Voldemort found a way to make the ritual work without contributing any blood of his own. He replaced the vows of loyalty with ones of fealty and used their blood to seal their fate. Total control. He can call them to his side, use the mark to track them, to torture them.”_

_She took a deep breath, fighting back her anger. “He took a beautiful, brilliant piece of ancient magic and twisted it for his own gains.”_

_Amelia looked as outraged as Hermione had felt upon realising the truth of the mark. “That's barbaric!” she scowled. “Although, not surprising. Monster that he is. Ruining a perfectly good piece of magic.”_

_Harry grinned at the redhead fondly as Hermione fought back a smirk. She hadn't been entirely pleased when Harry informed her that he wanted to bring Amelia Bones into their group, but the girl had proved to be both a valuable asset and a firm friend. Although how she ended up in Ravenclaw instead of Slytherin, ambitious as she was, Hermione would never know._

“ _Fascinating as all of this is,” Sev interjected, “What does any of it have to do with us?”_

_Hermione stared at her brother in confusion, had she not already said?_

“ _I think Hermione's brain is working three steps ahead of her mouth again.” James quipped, making her blush furiously. She smiled as she felt Remus snicker into her shoulder._

“ _Yes. Sorry.” she cleared her throat. “I think we should take up kinship bonds of our own.”_

_Remus lifted his head from its resting place, staring at her curiously. “Why?”_

“ _For our own protection.” she explained. “We've been training, researching, actively working behind the backs of not only Voldemort and his Death Eaters, but the Order of the Phoenix as well. We need a way to find each other, to signal for help if we need it. A way that no-one can take from us if we're caught.”_

_Hermione winced as she took in the stricken faces of the teens before her. It was so easy to forget sometimes, that they had not been through the same things she had. She'd already fought, already lost so much by the time she was sixteen the first time around. These teenagers had never been forced to anticipate and prepare for the worst-case scenario. She could see the same sympathy and regret she felt reflected in Harry's eyes._

“ _Do you think this will be... necessary?” Sev asked, voice shaking ever so slightly._

“ _I hope not.” she smiled tightly, voice dripping with false cheer. “But, better to be safe than sorry eh?”_

_An unnatural hush fell over the room then, each of them lost in their own thoughts. The silence was only broken when Lily let out a loud gasp, burying her head in her hands._

“ _Hermione.” Lily groaned. “We're getting tattoos. My mum's going to kill us.”_

_Remus couldn't help it; he burst out laughing and was quickly joined by the rest of the group. All except James, who looked positively horrified at the prospect of Dorea Potter' wrath._

Hermione smiled. James had gotten his mark on his chest in the end, right in the centre underneath his collarbone. According to him, if he was going to be murdered by his own mother anyway, then he was going out in style. Lily, Hermione and Amelia had all gotten theirs on their inner arms, directly beneath the crook of their elbows. Sirius, Reggie and Sev had all gotten theirs on their right biceps while Harry placed his directly behind his left ear. Pandora, of course, had gone a different route entirely and chose to have her mark placed on her hip. Hermione had tried her best to ignore the hungry look in her best friend's eyes as he'd watched her apply it.

The thunderbird had been Sirius' idea.

“ _It's perfect! Think about it. They can always tell when danger's coming, and they bring the storm. The oncoming storm!” He had deepened his voice dramatically, making the rest of the group laugh._

“ _It's cheesy, but I like it!” Amelia laughed. And just like that, it had been decided._

“ _Thunderbirds are go!” Lily yelled, giggling. The pure-bloods amongst them just stared in confusion as Hermione, Harry and Severus all joined in her laughter._

The ritual had gone perfectly. More so than she'd imagined, in fact. Even now, sitting at the worn-down kitchen table in Cokeworth, she could feel the thrum of energy pulse through her. If she reached for them, she could _feel_ Lily's contentment, James' concern, Severus' boredom.

Hermione smiled. She tried not to reach out for her friends _too_ often, out of respect for their privacy, but it was comforting to know that they were always right there with her if she needed them. So, despite her mother's cold shoulder, she couldn't bring herself to regret her decision. She knew that Sev felt the same. She sighed again. Hopefully it would all blow over before summer's end.

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

She swivelled her eyes towards the window where a large tawny owl was perched, two envelopes attached to its leg. She gasped. How could she have forgotten?

“SEV!” she screeched.

The sound of footsteps thundering downstairs followed.

“Hermione? What's wrong?” She blushed as she registered the panicked tone of his voice. Perhaps she had been slightly overenthusiastic.

“Oh. Nothing, sorry.” She smiled sheepishly. “I think those are our O.W.L results.” She indicated the owl who was now glaring at the pair impatiently from the windowsill.

“Oh.” Hermione's eyes widened in surprise as she turned to face him. She'd never seen her brother so pale. He seemed frozen, struck dumb. She would have laughed if she weren't having her own momentary breakdown.

Eileen swept into the room coldly before stopping dead in her tracks, observing the scene before her.

“What's wrong with you two then?”

Sev simply shook his head in terror while Hermione pointed towards the now irate bird behind the glass.

“Well? Aren't either of you going to let it in?” She huffed when neither of them made a move. “Oh for heaven's sake.”

She made her way across the kitchen and retrieved the letters, sending the bird on its way with a handful of owl treats for its trouble.

“Oh it's your O.W.L results.” she said lightly, before a look of understanding dawned on her face. “ _Oh.”_ For that first time in weeks, she smiled. The smile quickly became a full on laughing fit as she stared at the pained looks on her twins' faces.

“Get over here and open your bloody letters you daft buggers!” She chuckled, “You won't change the results by staring at them.”

Steeling herself. Hermione snatched her own envelope from the table. With one deep breath, she ripped it open.

_Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry_

_ORDINARY WIZARDING LEVEL RESULTS_

_Pass Grades Fail Grades_

_OUTSTANDING (O) POOR (P)_

_EXCEEDS EXPECTATONS (E) DREADFUL (D)_

_ACCEPTABLE (A) TROLL (T)_

_HERMIONE EILEEN SNAPE_

_has achieved_

_ANCIENT RUNES............O*_

_ARITHMANCY............O*_

_ASTRONOMY............O_

_CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES............O_

_CHARMS............O*_

_DEFENCE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS............O_

_HERBOLOGY............O_

_HISTORY OF MAGIC...........O_

_POTIONS............O_

_TRANSFIGURATION............O_

_* indicates distinction in given subject_

Hermione let out an involuntary whoop of excitement. She had done it! She had finally managed to get an O in Defence! Despite her statements to the contrary, she had in fact been _extremely disappointed_ by her grade the first time around.

“Sev! Sev I did it!” She jumped up and down gleefully. “How did you do?” She grabbed the parchment from his hands before waiting for a reply.

“Ouch!” he grumbled, bringing his index finger to his lip. “Bloody menace.”

She waved her hand dismissively. “You're fine, it's just a paper cut, now hush!” Her eyes scanned the document in front of her.

_Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry_

_ORDINARY WIZARDING LEVEL RESULTS_

_Pass Grades Fail Grades_

_OUTSTANDING (O) POOR (P)_

_EXCEEDS EXPECTATONS (E) DREADFUL (D)_

_ACCEPTABLE (A) TROLL (T)_

_SEVERUS TOBIAS SNAPE_

_has achieved_

_ANCIENT RUNES............O_

_ARITHMANCY............O_

_ASTRONOMY............E_

_CHARMS............O_

_DEFENCE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS............O*_

_HERBOLOGY............O_

_HISTORY OF MAGIC...........A_

_MUGGLE STUDIES............O_

_POTIONS............O*_

_TRANSFIGURATION............O_

_*indicates distinction in given subject_

“Amazing! Distinction in Potions and Defence. I knew you could do it!” She beamed at her twin before gathering him up in a bone-grinding hug, ignoring his sounds of protest. The pair stayed like that until they heard a quiet sniffling noise from behind them. They turned towards their mother in shock.

“Mum, are you okay?” Hermione asked, her tone concerned. Eileen just shook her head silently as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Mum, what's wrong?” Severus asked, approaching the crying woman cautiously.

Eileen lifted her eyes to meet her son's as her tears slowed. She sniffled as she spoke. “I just can't believe that the two of you turned out so well.” Hermione smiled softly as she continued. “Especially when I've been such a terrible mother.”

The twins reeled back in shock. Whatever they'd been expecting her to say, that wasn't it. Severus frowned. “Mum, you weren't-”

“Severus, stop. I need to say this. The two of you, sit. We need to talk.”

The pair obeyed, exchanging hesitant looks.

Eileen took a fortifying breath as she joined them at the table.

“I just want you both to know how _incredibly proud_ I am of you both. Ridiculous, permanent body art aside, you have grown to be strong, wonderful, independent young people. And you've done it all on your own.”

Hermione swallowed the lump in her throat. Why now? Why did her mother want to have this conversation _now?_

“I have been weak, and selfish. I wasn't always there when I should have been and you both paid the price. It never should have been up to you to get rid of your father. It never should have been up to you to make sure I was fed, and cleaned. It was my responsibility. And I failed you. I've been worried sick, waiting with baited breath for years for the moment it would all finally take its toll. But you've weathered it all. You've taken on every challenge and come out the other side. Brilliant, kind, funny, bright. Both of you, You are the lights of my life.”

Severus shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “Thanks mum, we love you too.”

She smiled sadly. “I know you do. I don't deserve it, but you both love me nonetheless. That's what makes this so difficult.”

Hermione was stone in her chair. She recognised that tone, she'd heard it too many times. On Ron, telling her he loved her before running into the fray, buying their escape with his own life. On Fleur, whispering sweet words of goodbye to her husband as the blood flowed freely from her side. ON Harry, holding her hand as they performed a ritual almost guaranteed to fail.

“Is this the part where you tell us why you've been so cold all summer.” She asked, her voice like granite.

Eileen lowered her eyes in defeat.

“Yes, I'm sorry. I thought maybe it would be easier somehow...”

“Thought it would be easier for our last interactions with our mother to be cold and silent?” Hermione scoffed angrily, fury rolling off of her in waves.

Eileen smiled wryly. “You always were too clever for your old mum, Hermione.”

She refused to cry, clenching her jaw as she clinked back tears. She would _not_ cry.

“The last interaction...? What the fuck is going on!” Severus demanded, panic visible on his face.

**_Black Family Manor, Abergele, Wales_ , _August 18_ _th_ _1976_**

“Padfoot mate! We fucking did it!” A blur of messy black hair flew from the fireplace, waving a sheet of parchment in the air.

Sirius dropped the biscuit he was holding in surprise. “Prongs? You're free?”

“Yeah, Mum was so thrilled by my results she granted me early release.” James grinned, swiping a biscuit from Sirius' plate.

“Brilliant” he beamed. “So, how'd you do?”

James shrugged nonchalantly. “Not bad. You?”

Sirius barked out a laugh. “Not bad... Swap you?”

“Go on then.”

They exchanged results excitedly, eyes searching the pages greedily.

“No fucking way.” Sirius released am incredulous chuckle. James' eyebrows rose to his hairline, equally surprised.

Harry walked in whistling, hands resting casually in the pockets of his grey slacks. He'd been visiting the Wizengamot that morning with his grandfather, which had been dull and entertaining in turns. Mostly, he was just thrilled to have it over and done with.

“Are those O.W.L results? Give them here then.” He held out his hands to receive the letters. The pair handed them over with matching mischievous smiles.

Harry laughed as he read the papers. “Identical scores, You two were bloody well made for each other.”

“Ours is a pure love.” James agreed solemnly.

“You read your letter yet?” Sirius asked.

“Mines came?” He asked, pleased. Sirius nodded, pointing towards the envelope on the small side table next to the freshly-baked biscuits. Harry tore the letter opened, shock to discover that _two_ badges lay inside. He had been named Quidditch captain and Head Boy. His heart twisted painfully. “ _That's me! Only I'm head boy. And I'm holding the Quidditch Cup. And bloody hell! I'm Quidditch captain too!”_ " Harry took a minute to mourn his first best friend. Ron had never gotten his chance at Head Boy. Maybe this time, he would. If he worked a lot bloody harder at least. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips at the thought. “Oi! What's that you have there?” Sirius demanded. 

  
  


“Head Boy,” he held the badge up with his left hand, “Quidditch Captain.” He held the other badge up with his right.

  
  


Sirius groaned. “My brother the Head Prat. I'll never live it down!” James nodded in agreement.

  
  


“He's right you know.” James said seriously. “You're going to have to do some serious pranking as soon as school starts back, or else you might lose your status as a Marauder.”

  
  


Harry raised one eyebrow sceptically. “Is that so?”

  
  


“It is” The pair said simultaneously.

  
  


“That's just creepy. Honestly. You two are-”

  
  


All at once, the three boys gasped. For the first time, they felt a wave of distress wash over them, a panic that certainly was not their own.

  
  


“Is that..?” James trailed off uncertainly.

  
  


“Hermione.” Sirius nodded, his face pinched with worry. Harry made his way towards the entrance hall without a word, summoning his day robe as he went.

  
  


“Ceph! Wait up.” Sirius rushed to his older brother's side, James hot on his heels. They had to find their friend. Harry held out his left arm and gestured for the boys to take hold. He still hadn't spoken, his face hard and expressionless as he disapparated with a loud crack.

  
  


**_Evans Household, Weaver's Way, Cokeworth, England_ , _August 18_ _th_ _1976_**

“I'm still not happy about this Petunia. You're far too young to be out of the house living on your own. And I swear, if that boy lays a _finger_ on you before there's a wedding, I'll string him up by his-”

Lily rolled her eyes in exasperation as her father went on his third rant of the morning. When she'd first arrived home, she'd been delighted to find her parents so distracted by Petunia's latest 'indiscretion' that they'd barely reacted to Lily's tattoo beyond a cursory disapproving glare. After almost a month of hearing the same speeches though, she was growing tired of it.

Apparently, Petunia agreed. She turned her sharp eyes towards her father as she spoke.

“I'm sorry father, but you seem to be under the mistaken impression that my body is yours to police.” Her voice dripped with disdain and cold fury. “Let me assure you it is _not._ And you needn't worry about my 'virtue', for all that's worth. That ship sailed a long time ago.”

Lily gaped at her older sister. Surely she hadn't just announced the loss of her virginity over her morning cornflakes. Gladys stared guiltily down at her coffee, refusing to meet her husbands eyes. _Ah, so she already knows then._ Lily smirked then. Of course she did. Nothing went on under Gladys Evans' roof without her knowing about it.

Harold was struck dumb, his face pale and grey looking. In all honestly, Lily didn't understand what all the fuss was about. Despite the strange setting for the announcement, she saw it as Tuney's business, and it was her father's own fault for pushing the issue so hard this summer.

“Tuney,” her father began, his voice shaking. “My little Pet. That's not true, is it?”

Petunia scoffed. “It bloody well is. And you have around seven months to come around to that fact too.”

Lily froze, spoonful of cereal suspended in mid-air. _Seven months? Oh bloody hell!_

Harold's face had regained it's colouring now, changing rapidly from white to deep red. That was never a good sign.

“Petunia you didn't?” He demanded. “Haven't you a brain in your head? Did your mother and I teach you nothing? We're _Catholic_ for Pete's sake.”

Petunia drew herself up, clearly offended by her father's tone. Before she could reply though, she found her path blocked by a diminutive blonde.

“Harold Patrick Evans, how _dare_ you. You're a filthy hypocrite. Your father made over again. What was it he said when we told him about Petunia?”

The older man looked sheepish then, unable to fully look his wife in the eye.

“This is _different_ ” he insisted.

“Oh? In what way?”

Determined to escape her parent's squabbling, Lily gestured to her sister, pointing her finger slightly towards the kitchen door. Petunia nodded in agreement and the two girls made their way into the sitting room. They each took an end of the squishy old couch, neither sure where to begin.

“So-”

“Lily, I-”

The pair giggled as they tried to speak over one another. Lily was the first to recover.

“So is it true then? You and Dorian are having a baby?”

“We are.” Petunia nodded, finally allowing a hint of nerves to creep into her expression.

“Is that why the pair of you have been looking for a place together this summer?” Lily asked gently, not wanting to upset her.

“Well, yes and no.” She allowed a small smile to grace her face as she thought of the dark-haired boy. “We'd been talking about it for a while, but this just forced us to move our plans up a bit.”

Lily took in the peaceful expression that flooded the older girl when she spoke of her boyfriend and sighed internally. She wished that _she_ had someone who could male her feel like that. She'd gone on a few dates with Amos Diggory last year, and she'd even snogged Frank Longbottom a few times, but none of them had given her butterflies like the ones Hermione described when she talked about Remus.

“Are you happy, Tuney?” she asked quietly.

“I'm scared,” she admitted. “I'm sick all the time, and I cry at the drop of a hat-pin. But yes, I am happy. I love Dorian, and as strange as it sounds, I already love this little leech growing inside of me.”

Lily felt her eyes prick with tears as she looked at the woman in front of her with wonder.

“Tuney, you're going to be a Mum... Merlin, I'm going to be an Aunt!” She threw herself to the other side of the couch, laughing giddily as she grabbed Petunia up in a tight hug. And there they sat, hugging tightly, the silence only punctuated by the occasional sniffle from one sister or the other until the moment was broken by the sound of a owl tapping insistently on the sitting room window.

“Oh, Lily, weren't you waiting on an owl from school today?” Lily froze. How could she have forgotten about O.W.L results? She ran towards the window excitedly. She would finally find out if all of her hard work had paid off.

“It's my exam results Tuney. Will you stay and open them with me?” She bit her lip as she stared at the envelope, suddenly nervous.

“Of course I will, don't be ridiculous.” Petunia laughed, patting the place on the sofa directly beside her. Lily grinned widely as she made her way over to sit down. Without hesitation, she tore the letter open, scanning its contents hungrily.

“Wahoooooo!” Lily called out. She was ecstatic, dancing around the living room in the silliest manner Petunia had ever seen. She couldn't help but laugh at her younger sister's antics.

“I did it Pet. Perfect O's! Now all those snotty pureblood pricks can stick it up their perfectly groomed arsehol-”

“Lily!” Harold exclaimed in shock. The poor man stared at his two daughters as though he'd never seen them in his life.

“Sorry Dad.” Lily responded brightly, not sounding sorry at all.

“Of course you are.” Gladys responded with a teasing roll of her eyes. “Care to tell us what's got you all in a tizzy?”

“O.W.L results Mum, look!” Lily handed the parchment over to her mother, who read it before immediately joining on the redhead's happy dancing.

“Well done Lil!” Harold called out proudly, flicking the radio on so the woman would have something better to dance to than the hum of the old radiator.

Chuckling, he sat down on the sofa. Petunia noticeably stiffened at his proximity, all earlier humour vanished form her face, Harold winced guiltily.

“I made a right old mess of things back there Petal.”

Petunia blinked furiously, trying to stave off the tears that had formed at his use of the childhood nickname.

“You did.” She agreed, her voice carefully neutral.

“I'm sorry. I'm an arse.” He stated simply, coaxing a watery chuckle from his surly older daughter. “Dorian's a good lad, and he seems to make you happy.” She smiled at that.

“He really does Dad.”

“Then that's all that matters.” He nodded. “I just hadn't expected to become a grandpa when I was still so young and good-looking.” He grinned cheekily as Petunia swatted him playfully on the shoulder.

“Young? Good-looking? I think it's time we got you fitted for a pair of glasses.” He laughed, and they both knew that all was forgiven between the pair.

Lily and her mother had slowed their dancing, straining to listen in to the conversation. They exchanged an amused glance at Harold's clumsy but sincere apology, both happy that their family would not be irreparably fractured by a few harsh words.

All of a sudden, Lily felt overwhelmed with anguish and pain. She'd never felt anything like it, and she was certain that the emotions did not belong to her. She closed her eyes and reached out with her magic, feeling the invisible strings that connected her to her kin. _Severus. Hermione. They needed her._

**_Lupin House, Shropshire, England, August 18_ _th_ _1976_ **

Remus chuckled at his father's exuberance. The man was more excited about Remus' O.W.L results than _he_ was.

“Must've gotten all of your brains from your mother Remy, because you certainly didn't get them from me!”

Hope smirked. “Very true.”

Lyall reeled back in mock hurt. “You wound me, good woman! I give you my heart, my very name, and this is how you repay me?”

Remus laughed as he felt the warmth of home seep into his bones. He loved to see his parents like this, so playful and carefree. It was a sight he hadn't seen much of growing up, but one that had become much more commonplace since his first year at Hogwarts. He was glad. His parents had spent too much of their lives worrying about their only son.

“Oh hush you.” Hope scolded lightly, bustling around the kitchen merrily. “Tea, love?” she asked.

“Please. Thanks mum.” She beamed at him before busying herself with the old kettle.

“What, I don't get any tea?” Lyall teased.

Hope raised one eyebrow, not bothering to slow her task as she spoke. “You'll get tea when you ask nicely like Remus. At least one man in this house has manners!”

Lyall pouted. “Please may I have a cup of tea, oh sweet wife of mine?”

“Much better.” She nodded imperiously, trying not to smile.

“You're an angel!” Lyall winked at Remus as he returned his attention to the letter in front of him.

“So, Remus. Have you given much thought as to what you want to do after Hogwarts?”

He blinked at the sudden change in topic. “Not in any serious way.”

“Well with scores like these, maybe you should start.” Lyall was positively beaming with pride as he handed the letter over to his son. “I didn't want to get your hopes up by saying anything before your results came through.”

Remus' jaw dropped in shock. “Dad, is this... is this for real?”

“Yep.” The man looked incredibly smug as he sipped his freshly-brewed cup of tea.

“Galatea Merrythought. Wow... But she hasn't taken on an apprentice since _Dumbeldore._ ”

“Well apparently she's taken a keen interest in you, son. A few of your teachers mentioned your work to Dumbledore and he took it upon himself to share a few of your essays with her when they met up for tea.”

Remus shook his head in disbelief. “But they're just for homework, they're nothing special.”

“Well apparently Mistress Merrythought thinks differently. And I would say that as the expert in the subject, she would know, wouldn't she?” Hope quipped, snatching the letter from it's place at the table.

“What was it she said again? Ah yes: ' _rarely have I seen a young mind with such deep understanding of the subject matter, nor the innate talent and passion for the craft.'_ ”

Remus blushed a deep crimson at his mother's teasing. He wasn't used to such praise or attention. He had known that he was _good_ at defence of course, maybe even the best in the year, but nothing like this.

“Did you write her back _?”_ Remus asked his father nervously, determined to avoid his mother's laughing stare.

“I did.” He nodded. “Keep your grades up, get a good score on your NEWTs, and the apprenticeship's yours. Well done, son.” Remus blinked back tears as his mother hugged him from behind his chair as his father looked on, smiling. This was a memory that could fuel a thousand Patronuses, he was sure of it.

Slowly, his happiness started to fade away as it was replaced by a deep sense of foreboding. Within minutes, the feeling grew to an all-encompassing grief. _Hermione._

Remus stood up, panicked as he made his way towards the floo. He needed to get to Hermione.  
  


“Remus son, what's wrong?” He ignored his father as he reached towards the mantle where the floo-powder was kept. He was just lifting the lid when he was forced back by a rush of green flames. Within seconds he found himself bowled over by a tear-streaked mass of dark curls.

“Remus!” she cried, burying her head in his chest, much to the bemusement of his parents.

“Hermione, love, what's wrong?” He tried to pry her fingers from his shirt so that he could see her face, but that only made her cry harder.

_Knock Knock Knock._

“What on Earth?” Lyall huffed in annoyance as he went to answer the door. When he got there, he found himself faced with four anxious looking teenage boys and one apologetic redhead.

“Sorry to disturb you mister Lupin. Is Hermione here by any chance?”

“She's just come through the floo,” he answered without thinking.

“Oh, brilliant! Thanks.” Lily smiled politely as she made her way inside, clearly taking his words to be an invitation. The boys rushed in behind her, determined to see their friend. Lyall and Hope locked eyes as they processed the strange events of the last five minutes.

“Well, then” Hope said cheerily. “I suppose I had better put on another pot of tea eh?” Lyall laughed then, that was his wife's answer to everything. Well, that and chocolate biscuits.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“What do you mean, dying?” Lily asked, shaking.

“Dying, as in not going to be alive much longer Lily!” Severus snapped harshly. She took a deep breath, refusing to rise to his bait, she knew that he was just upset.

“Yes of course, sorry Sev.” She placed a hand on his comfortingly only to have it snatched away roughly. “I meant, what's wrong with her.”

Hermione's voice was dull as she answered. “It was Tobias. What he done to her. It done something to her magic, twisted it up inside her somehow. Apparently it must have been working on her for years.” She stared blankly ahead as she replayed the memories in her mind over and over again. Every migraine, Every time she forgot what she was saying mid sentence. Every time she'd been so exhausted she hadn't been able to get out of bed for days. How had she not noticed? She had thought her mother was depressed. Had been too focused on her own life to notice that she was ill.

Remus wrapped his arm tightly around her waist, trying desperately to offer her whatever small measure of strength he could. “She started having fits last year while we were away at school. That's why she asked us not to come home for the holidays. She was in St. Mungo's having tests done.”

She had told her children that she was going on a trip to visit an old school friend. Hermione had though that maybe her mother had started dating again. She had been _happy_ for her.

Surprisingly, Sirius was the first one to break the silence.

“This is bullshit.” Everyone turned their eyes towards him in shock. “What?” he asked defensively. “It is. It's shite, and it's unfair. Your mum is a nice woman Sev, Hermione. I'm so sorry that this is happening. What can we do?”

“Nothing. There's nothing you can do.” Hermione answered in a small voice.

“I could use a drink.” Severus answered miserably.

“Done.” James jumped up from his seat, desperate to help in any way he could, even if it meant that he would be grounded again until the end of summer.

“What?” Severus scoffed.

“My mum and dad are out at some meeting or the other for the evening, and we have an impressive collection of firewhisky and elven wine.”

Lily looked scandalized, while Remus just looked annoyed. “Prongs, I hardly think this is the time to-”

“I'm in.” Hermione stood up swiftly. She'd regret it in the morning, but at the moment she just wanted to get rip-roaring drunk the way she hadn't since the war. Harry met her eyes and nodded in understanding. Grief felt cold, empty. Alcohol burned all of that away, even if it was only for a few short hours.

Lily laughed nervously. “Well then, I guess we're getting drunk.”

Decision made, the group headed through the floo towards the extremely well stocked liquor cabinet at Potter Manor.

**A/N: I'm sorry, I know it's been a while. Hope this slightly longer chapter makes up for it. Let me know what you guys think! As always, thanks for reading, you guys are amazing.**

**'Til next time,**

**SJ**


	23. Undrunk

Chapter 23:

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any part, the characters and the HP universe all still belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Last I checked. * sighs in disappointment ***

**A/N: Wooooow. It's been a hot minute since I last updated. I'm so incredibly sorry, but I have had a LOT of mental health stuff going on, and this chapter fought me every step of the way. Hopefully it was worth the wait. WARNING: LEMON AHEAD. If you want to skip it, you won't be missing any important plot points. You have been warned.**

_Been through every emotion  
Right now I'm sad and broken  
Like the bottles on the floor, but I'm too buzzed to clean them up  
Wish I could get a little un-drunk  
So I could, I could un-love you_

  
  


_Wish I could get a little un-drunk so I could un-call you  
At five in the morning, I would un-fuck you  
But some things you can't undo_

_And one of them's you_

_\- Fletcher_

  
  


**_Potter Manor, Isle of Skye, Scotland, August 18_ _th_ _1976_ **

  
  


Remus frowned as he watched Hermione softly sway to the music. Her eyes were closed, an absent smile painted on her tear stained face. Her movements seemed too light, too gentle for the heavy rock piece, but she didn't seem to care. She was lost in a world of her own.

They had been drinking for hours, Harry and Hermione chucking back shots of firewhisky like seasoned pros, seeming to forget their young, inexperienced bodies. The former was currently snoring loudly on pile of cushions as Pandora traced patterns over his face with tender fingers. Sirius had owled Regulus, Amelia and Pandora as soon as they'd arrived at the manor and the three had shown up within the hour. It was strange, Remus mused, that none of them had felt quite whole until the entire group were together. He wondered if it was a side effect of their new bonds. He absent-mindedly rubbed at his own mark as he thought.

Being a werewolf, the alcohol seemed to have little effect on him, the lycanthropy burning through the booze more quickly than he could drink it. He scowled as he took in the relaxed, happy faces of his friends. _Yet another thing this damned curse has robbed from me._ He laughed as he caught Amelia's eye across the room. She was the only other sober person there, and seemed singularly unimpressed by Sirius' sloppy attempts to get her dancing.

“Piss off Black!” She growled, knuckles going white around her bottle of butterbeer.

“C'mon Amy,” Sirius wheedled. “It'll be fun!... Unless you can't?” He taunted as she huffed indignantly.

“I'll have you know that I dance perfectly well, thank you!”

“Oh you do, do you?” He raised one eyebrow in challenge. “Then prove it.”

She laughed loudly. “Nice try, but I'm not so easily manipulated. I'm not a _Gryffindor_ after all.”

“Oi!” James and Sirius cried in unison. Remus smiled as he observed the pair's matching expressions of outrage. Sometimes it were as though they shared one mind. In his earliest years at Hogwarts, he had envied their connection, too young and stupid to notice that he had a pretty special one of his own with Hermione.

That thought brought his eyes back to his swaying girlfriend. Her eyes were still closed, but fresh tears had started rolling down her cheeks. Concerned, he made his way across the room, gathering her up in his arms. He felt her break down almost instantly. She shook with silent sorrow, her face buried in the soft flannel of his shirt. Remus felt eyes all over the room turn towards them, expressions a mixture of sympathy and concern. Knowing Hermione as he did, Remus knew that she wouldn't want an audience for this. He gently guided her from the room and up the stairs, not stopping until he reached the second bedroom on the first floor. It was the one he and Regulus always shared when they visited Potter Manor over the summer.

He sat her gently on the bed, kneeling down to meet her eyes.

“Hermione, love, talk to me.”

She raised her head to look at him.

“I can't do this Remus.”

He look at her questioningly. “Can't do what?”

She sobbed, burying her hands in her hair and pulling it tight. He felt his heart constrict. He'd never seen her like this. She looked so unravelled, so desperate and broken. It was a far cry from the strong, composed girl he'd come to know and love.

“Can't do what?”

“This!” She waved her arms wildly. “Losing people. I'm always losing people, Remus. I tell myself to keep pushing on, that one day it'll get better but it _won't._ It never does. I push through the pain, and all that's waiting on the other side is more pain. I just want it to stop.”

Remus swallowed down the lump in his throat. He couldn't stand to see her like this. He raised up one hand to cup her cheek, wiping away a stray tear with his thumb.

“I'm so sorry Hermione. So very sorry. You've been through more than any one person should be asked to endure. You've been so brave, and strong and I admire you so much for it. But it's okay to feel it. It's okay not to be strong. At least for tonight.”

Hermione shivered at his touch as her eyes fluttered closed, lulled into a temporary sense of peace by his deep voice.

“You're right.” She breathed deeply, slowing the stem of tears. “I do need to feel it. But not tonight. Tonight I need something else.”

She met his eyes with a fierce sort of determination. He reeled back in shock, understanding her meaning immediately.

“Now? Hermione, you've had a lot to drink. I really don't think-”

Her eyes narrowed. “Not that much. I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions.”

Remus stared at her, conflicted. Normally, he would be thrilled. They'd been exploring the physical side of their relationship more and more over the previous year, and he had hoped that they were heading towards this point, but he'd never imagined that it would happen under these circumstances. She was vulnerable, upset and slightly inebriated. His mind whirred with indecision. On the one hand, he had sworn to himself that he would do whatever she needed to get through this, but on the other, he would never dream of taking advantage.

“Oh for Merlin's sake Remus. _Accio Sober-Up Potion._ ” He smiled slightly as the small blue vial came flying through the door. Her magic was perfect, effortless even now. She threw back the potion with a grimace, her gaze clearing up immediately.

“There. Happy now?” She teased slightly.

Remus looked her over intently. “Hermione, I love you. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone, and nothing would make me happier than... well.” He blushed slightly, making her giggle. The sound lifted his heart. “But I need to know, are you absolutely sure?”

Her eyes never left his as she waved her wand, silently causing the door to slam shut.

“I'm sure.”

It was all the confirmation he needed. He crashed his lips to hers, finding them soft and pliant beneath his. She buried her hands in his hair, tugging slightly. Their breaths mingled sweetly, the scent of firewhisky heavy in the air between them. He stood up, lifting her up into his arms so that he could lay her down fully upon the bed. His hands ran down her sides, lightly skimming her breasts, her hips, her thighs. She let out a low, breathy moan that sent a jolt straight to his groin.

She fumbled at his waist, desperately scrambling to rid him of his shirt. He chuckled, pulling off the offending garment in one fluid motion. Desperate to feel her skin against his, he quickly rid her of her own t-shirt. Their kissing became frantic now, desperate. It was a glorious melding of tongues and heat and sweat. His kisses forged a path from her lips to her collarbone, leaving a trail of gooseflesh in their wake. She panted and moaned as he tried to give her his full attention, ignoring the panicked voice in his head that said he was doing everything wrong. His eyes almost popped out of his head as she removed her bra, exposing her breasts to him.

He had seen them before of course, but seeing them knowing what it would lead to, that seemed like a different experience entirely. Hesitantly, he lowered his mouth to one perfectly pink nipple, sucking gently. Her loud gasp gave him confidence as he experimented. Licking, sucking, biting each one until she was a writhing mess of need below him.

“Remus, please.” He pulled back, staring at her. She seemed to be asking him for something. What, he wasn't sure. She felt around for his belt, loosening it impatiently. _Oh. Right._

He had been so engrossed in his task that he had forgotten. He clumsily unbuckled his belt and loosened the button on his jeans. His hands were shaking, with nerves or anticipation he wasn't sure. He was entranced as he watched her remove her own jeans, bringing her underwear along with them. He stared at her in awe. He'd never seen her this way before. Laid before him, totally bare and exposed. It sent his already painful erection throbbing. He prayed internally that he would last long enough not to embarrass himself.

Hermione gazed lovingly into his eyes as he covered her body with his. “Remus. I need you.”

He stroked her hair, his eyes shining. “Are you sure?”

“I've never been more sure. I love you.”

His answering smile was blinding. “I love you too.”

With one hard thrust, they were joined. She hissed in pain and he peppered her face with soothing kisses as she adjusted to the unfamiliar sensation. She had memories of sex in _theory_ of course, but experiencing it for the first time in this life was just as uncomfortable as it had been last time. Although, Remus was definitely far gentler and more considerate than she remembered Ron being. Not that he had been terrible of course, he had actually been very sweet, but the whole ordeal had just been terrifically awkward and rushed.

Remus clenched his jaw as he fought not to thrust into her, determined not to continue until her pain had subsided. After a few minutes, she started to squirm - making his eyes roll back into his head. _Merlin, she's not making this easy._

“Remus, move. I need you to – Oh!” He had started moving almost as soon as she'd spoken, His thrusts were slow, measured. They were driving her mad.

“Faster, please!” He picked up the pace, their joined breaths becoming more laboured as they panted. He tried his best to hold on, but she was so tight, so warm and wet around him that he felt like he would explode at any minute. She was crying out in pleasure as she neared her peak. She was flying apart as screams of ecstasy were ripped from her throat.

“Oh Merlin. Hermione.” He buried his head into her neck as he pounded into her, groaning. She dug her nails into his back, her fingertips imprinting themselves into the muscled flesh as they flew over the precipice together. She sobbed her release as he let out an almighty cry, spilling himself inside her.

They lay there like that for what felt like hours, their bodies intertwined and drenched with sweat. Remus wrapped a stray curl around his finger as he stared at her face. Her eyes were heavy, tired. He stroked her face gently until her eyes slowly drifted shut. He smiled down at her fondly as her breathing grew deep and even. She was asleep. He rolled off of her and covered them both with the heavy duvet. He lay awake for hours, the strangeness of his lost virginity not yet worn off. He couldn't help but stare at the girl beside him as he thought. No doubt there were some difficult times ahead for her, for both of them, but he knew right then that he wanted to be by her side through all of it, forever. Eventually, as the sun started to peek out over the horizon, he pulled her in close to his side and allowed himself to fall into a deep sleep.

**_Potter Manor, Isle of Skye, Scotland, August 18_ _th_ _1976_ **

_Oh my God._ What had she _done?!_ Lily stared up at the ceiling of the spacious bedroom in shock. How had this even _happened?_ She was never drinking firewhisky again. She risked a glance to her left only to see an equally shell-shocked expression on Severus' face.

If she had thought that _kissing_ Sev had been terrible, sleeping with him had been decidedly worse.

She still wasn't entirely sure how it had even happened. One minute they had been crying over Eileen, and then they had been hugging, and somehow their lips had met. And then...

Oh it had been awful. He had been shaky and fumbling, she had been stiff and uncomfortable. And the _pain._ She had no idea that sex would hurt so much. She'd been horrified as the tears rolled freely down her cheeks, unable to stop them. His guilty expression and whispered apologies had just made the whole thing worse. She'd spent most of the time reassuring him that it was fine - _no, really Sev, I'm fine, keep going_ \- and after a few short minutes, he had come with a shudder. The whole experience left her feeling awkward and unsure. Her friendship with Sev had always been one of the most important relationships in her life, and now she had gone and put that in jeopardy.

“Sev, I-”

“Lily, don't.” His voice was low, almost pleading. She had always understood him better than anyone, and so understood his unspoken request not to speak of it. She swallowed hard as she nodded in reply. They dressed in silence after that, neither breathing so much as a word before Severus swept out of the room with all the dignity he could muster.

Lily waited five minutes before following him, trying to gather her composure. She made her way down the landing towards the nearest bathroom, locking it behind her. She splashed her face with cold water. Staring into her own green eyes, she marvelled at the fact that she still looked exactly the same as she had when she'd gotten ready that morning. She didn't feel like the same girl. Everything felt different now. She felt heavier, more burdened and weary. Had it just been that morning that she had been so happy to receive her O.W.L results?

It seemed to her that the whole world had changed since then. Petunia was moving out and having a baby, Aunt Eileen was dying and Lily had managed to lose both her virginity and possibly her very best friend in one fell swoop. Not to mention that she'd gotten drunk for the very first time. Clenching her jaw to prevent any more tears from forming, she turned away from her reflection angrily.

She held on to that anger for all of the five seconds it took her to reach the bathroom door and unlock it before promptly bursting into tears. How could she leave? How could she just go back to the party as though nothing were wrong when she felt as though her entire world was falling apart at the seams. She slumped down onto the floor, head buried in her hands as she shook with tears.

“Evans? Evans where are you?” Lily cringed as she tried in vain to smother her sobs. _James._ How could she even look him in the eye again? She'd been half in love with him for over a year now, and yet she'd turned around and slept with someone else anyway. She was no better than one of those slaggy Hufflepuffs that was always hanging all over Sirius!

“Evans, there you are! You have to come and see this, Bones just challenged Padfoot to a dance o-”

He paused in the doorway of the small bathroom, looking down at her with a confused frown.

“Lily. What's wrong? Why are you sitting on the floor by yourself?” She swallowed hard, trying to think of something, anything, to say.

“I'm a slaggy Hufflepuff!” she wailed, the words bursting out of her mouth before she could stop them.

Maybe it would have been better just to say nothing.

“What?” James laughed incredulously, shoving the door closed behind him before joining her on the floor, resting his back against the bath as he pulled his knees to his chest. “How much have you had to drink? You're a _Gryffindor_ , remember?”

Lily glared at him miserably. “I notice you didn't comment on the slaggy part.”

He grinned at her, the same boyish grin that sent her heart fluttering in her chest every time she saw it. “Well, I don't know what's bothering you yet, do I? But if it makes you feel any better, I seriously doubt you're anything of the sort. I mean, have you even shagged anyone?”

Again, the words came flying out of Lily's mouth without her permission. “Sev, just now.” She cursed herself and her inability to lie to the boy in front of her. Why did it have to be _him_ who had found her weeping on the floor. Why not Hermione, who was nothing if not discreet? Or even Sirius would do, he was too pissed to care.

James blinked in surprise, his glasses sliding ever so slightly down his nose. “Wow. That's er- I didn't know that you two were seeing each other.” He scratched the back of his neck unconsciously, a sure sign that he was uncomfortable.

“We're not.” she smiled bitterly. “See? Slag.”

He laughed. “Hardly.”

“Shut up!” Lily snapped, angry now. “ You don't get it. I always wanted my first time to be special, with someone who loved me. And now here I am giving it away after getting drunk at a party and now I can never get it back, It's ruined. _I'm_ ruined.” She said the last part quietly, almost whispering as she stared at the immaculately tiled floor underneath her feet. The pair sat there in silence as her gaze remained firmly on the ground.

“Lily, look at me.” The command was gentle, but it was a command nonetheless. Too worn out to resist, she finally dragged her eyes upwards to meet his. What she saw there took her breath away; kindness, understanding, _compassion._ She had expected anger, disgust, maybe even a little bit of hurt. It was no secret after all that the pair had been dancing around each other for years, heading towards something.... _something._

He reached across the tiles and carefully placed her hand in his. “You are one of the smartest people I know, but that is completely _stupid._ ” Lily let out a small, surprised laugh, which was clearly his aim if the satisfied smirk he wore was anything to go by.

“I'm serious. You're not a dish-rag Lily, you can't _be_ ruined. And you're one of the most romantic people I know, it's why I l-” He coughed, his cheeks turning slightly pink. “It's one of the many things that I like about you, but it also means that you put far too much pressure on single moments. I'm not saying that first times aren't important, but surely you know that you get more than one first time?”

She frowned, confused. “What do you mean?”

He smiled nervously, clearly not used to opening himself up so completely. “Well, _I_ think that there are other firsts that are far more important. Like the first time you tell someone that you love them. Or the first time you hold your baby in your arms. I think that even if you've done any of those things before, meeting the right person can make everything new again. I also think that lasts matter more. What does it matter who you lost your virginity to? Who is the last person you'll see before you got to sleep at night? Who will be your last kiss? Who's going to hold your hand for the last time when it's old and wrinkled? I think that matters far more than one friend comforting another one night at a party.”

Lily beamed at him then, tears falling for an entirely different reason now. She had never heard James speak that way before, and if she was half in love with him before that moment, now she was all the way in. She squeezed his hand gratefully.

“Thank you James.” He met her eyes confidently, suddenly unashamed of his naked show of emotion. Something passed between them then, something so delicate and new, but entirely perfect. She leaned towards him without thinking, desperate to close the gap between them.

“No.” James held up a hand to prevent her from coming any closer. She reeled back in surprise, feeling her cheeks heat in embarrassment. _Of course_ she had misread the signals, it was just par for the course for that horrible evening as far as Lily was concerned. She shot to her feet, desperate to make her escape.

“Oh God, James. I'm so sorry I-” He clambered to his own feet and just managed to reach the door before she could, blocking her exit.

“James? What are you- mpffff” Before she even had a chance to finish her sentence, he covered her mouth with his own. She went stiff with shock , standing there limply. It was his turn to step back now, horrified look on his face.

“Oh Merlin! I just- I'm sorry!” He was blushing now, red all the way to the tips of his ears as he rambled. “I didn't want to take advantage of you when you were drunk and sad. I was going to ask you to go for coffee tomorrow instead but then you were leaving and I just-”

“James.”

“-panicked and pounced on you like some kind of a savage and-”

“James.”

“And I'll just go now and leave you to your-”

“JAMES!” He stopped rambling at the sound of her bellowing voice, still looking thoroughly embarrassed.

“Yes?”

Lily smiled, her stomach doing somersaults as she spoke. “Coffee sounds great.”

He looked at her, dumbstruck. “What, really?”

She laughed giddily. “Really.”

He nodded eagerly. “Alright then, coffee.” He smiled dreamily at her for a moment, until the expression was replaced with one of mounting horror.

“Oh no,” he groaned, “There's no way Mum's going to let me go out after she finds out we stole dad's booze. And I only _just_ got ungrounded!”

Lily giggled lightly, amused. “Well maybe you had better kiss me now then, just in case.”

“Yeah.” He paused, his breath shaky as he leant in. “Better safe than sorry.”

“Definitely.” she hummed in agreement.

And then they were kissing, his lips just the right amount of soft to make her knees buckle. His breath was sweet and warm as it met hers, sending butterflies flitting around her stomach, and she only just managed to resist the urge to pop one foot up as he tightened his arms around her.

_Perfect,_ Lily thought to herself. _Finally._

**A/N: And that's the chapter. Please leave a review and let me know what you though!**

**'Til next time,**

**SJ**


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